Like he's resolved himself to atoning with Mikoto (John) and the punishment that comes with the crime that was committed. He even considers turning himself in before going that won't be necessary considering the mess made. This is why Es gets silent after he says, "I'll properly atone for my sins." Because the proper way it's handled is through the death penalty.

Like that's the reason it throws Es off because Mikoto is straight up accepting the death penalty for what he did with grace. Not like Shidou who wanted to skirt the line of what actually constitutes as murder and ignore how he actually killed someone to get the death penalty for purely selfish reasons that had nothing to do with his victims real or the others he alleged were victims. No he wanted it to see his family again in the afterlife or through reincarnation. He wanted it because it was an escape for him.

This isn't framed as an escape for Mikoto. He doesn't even try to use his mental health as an excuse flat out saying, "Even if my mental disorder wss recognized, I wouldn't be completely innocent." As well as, "Despite saying all that, it's my fault that people died. Even if it was the fault of the other me, I can't just turn a blind eye. The other me... Is still me. Let's atone together. That's what I want to do."

He doesn't choose to atone because he feels pressured to but because he genuinely wants to even though again- It certainly means facing the death penalty. This is also why he says, "Ahh- I'm a criminal huh? Society will be stirred up huh? Besides they won't believe something like "it was the other me who did it" too- in the end I'll make my parents cry huh..."

I feel that in a series where we literally have a song titled It's Not My Fault and most characters have shown difficulty in taking accountability for their actions and the consequence those actions produced intentionally or unintentionally. Having a case where the things that led to people dying are both intentional and unintentional sets Mikoto Kayano up to display what taking accountability and onus for one's part in something should look like even if you're still upset with your own circumstances.

Even if taking responsibility doesn't serve you in any way. Hell it will kill him. They will kill him. He is getting the death penalty. That man was caught in 4k. They have him on multiple cctvs he out here like the joke I made years ago-

It's okay he wants to atone regardless of whatever that looks like, regardless of if it wasn't him who dealt those killing blows, because people died and he can't turn a blind eye to that and neither should you. It's sad but it's okay. Sometimes getting through things together means accepting when you won't get out of them at all. Do his parents deserve to hear their kid is getting capitql punishment? No, they're gonna be really upset. But Mikoto taking responsibility means something. Something that no other killer here has done for the people who's lives were lost. It validates that loss and puts it straight in the audiences' face without focusing on how he felt about it. No more woe is me just, "People died I have to atone for that."

They are killing him by long hanging on a random fucking day. Of course he knows his parents are going to cry their kid's getting capital punishment why wouldn't they. This is something the voice drama does well because Yamanaka knows there's very little chance of Mikoto being innocent out of everyone here. He knows the story he told and the way he made the game. Characters here die regardless of where the verdict lands sometimes.

So to me Yamanaja using the third voice drama to illustrate Mikoto accepting his punishment feels like a way or attempt to showcase to the people who like this character it's okay. It's okay. He knows, you know, we all know that he did something incredibly wrong and he needs to atone for it and there will be people who hate him for it.

And that's why the chorus is,

"I haven’t lost anything, I haven’t changed, but- I just feel like I should be saying bye-bye."

🧡🤍

What I'm getting at is: I don't think Mikoto and John are necessarily the "good alter versus evil alter" trope because Mikoto isn't really that good of a person. That trope relies on one alter embodying pure goodness and the other pure badness. Mikoto is nowhere close to being entirely good, it's just that previous music videos associated him with angelic visuals and motifs as a means to an end. As for John, we're seeing his development in reverse right now which highlights his past self over who he is today and it inherently colors our perception of him.

The sort of development that John underwent is indicative of someone who isn't overwhelmingly evil unless you believe that being a bad person is an immutable state. (I'm not going to mince words here: only a bad person would kill twelve innocent people, therefore this is a matter of whether you believe an individual like that can change for the better.) John is still heavily flawed, but through his growth-in-progress, he's shown that he could continue to grow if given the opportunity. Mikoto, too, is willing to put the work in and collaborate.

Mikoto's embracing of John as the "other him" indicates that the line between them isn't strictly defined: they aren't represented as being black-and-white right now. In acknowledging that they are the same person, Mikoto turns the "versus" into more of an "and" which is a different conversation entirely.

This story really forces you to consider whether you believe any sort of person is worthy of rehabilitation, or if you believe that only applies to people you can sympathize with more easily.

earlier this week Twitter user ppuccin0 tweeted about a fashion article that advised against tops with large floral patterns, saying the wearer was in danger of looking like a "ロマンティックおばさん," or a "romantic auntie." the tweet went viral with many agreeing that a "romantic auntie" sounded like a very nice thing to aspire to be, and some even posted illustrations or photos tagged with the trend

illustration by Toyota Yuu (author of Cherry Magic)

illustration by 141shkw/Sora Midori (author of Beautiful Curse)

photos by Takinami Yukari (author of Motokare Mania and Watashi-tachi wa Mutsuu Ren'ai ga Shitai or "We Want A Painless Romance")

illustration by m:m (mangaka of Matataki no End Roll)

illustration by ooinuai (mangaka of Onikui Kitan)

illustration by ma2 (mangaka of The Reason We Fall In Love)

BONUS:

Mikoto...

I genuinely think that the voice drama is pretty good. The mv... Not as much. But I did overall enjoy both, until I got very involved with everyone else's opinions. It wasn't even that bad, but people are acting crazy.

The same people who see an issue with Mikoto's DID depiction seem to be the ones that really want to dehumanize him and invalidate the horror of his situation? Like, I understand that he's in a position where no matter what he gets voted as, he's screwed, but don't act like it's "just bad work environment".

1! He was severely sleep deprived, which as you mentioned, *kills*, but also isn't it like that getting less than like 4 hour of sleep literally makes you not record memories? Also valid point about sleep deprivation, I once slept 4 hours between 3 days and I genuinely thought I was dying.

But, backtracking: sure, they did not acknowledge abuse in his childhood, but he still ACTS like he has been conditioned to have a very bad view of himself. Whether it was from direct verbal/physical abuse or just from some form of neglect, it really seems like he's either still trying to tell us he's *fine*, or he genuinely just doesn't remember where those behaviors come from.

Also he sounds horribly suicidal through the trial. He sounds like he realized he's probably going to get executed and came to terms with it because of the horrible guilt. Also that line about his body being broken. Uhhh did he already drive himself to the edge with his cigarette addiction? Or with alcohol? He's been basically self harming, hasn't he? Likely before work?

And like, the crimes committed are horrible, but it just feels like a lot of people are voting him guilty for really petty reasons? They're not taking his story into account, just acting on dissatisfaction with the writing?

He's genuinely so tragic because there is no good ending for him, really. And I had the feeling it would be like that even before the mv and vd came out.

Currently, his votes are going more and more towards guilty by the hour, and don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for tragedy - you vote him guilty if you have to (I love him but SWEET SWEET SUFFERING) People are absolutely welcome to vote him guilty if they think his crime is awful (it is). It just feels like most of the voting is based on some sort of personal dislike toward the story as a whole and not specifically because of his character. It kind of feels like this isn't about him anymore. Which... That's just sad.

Anyway, I'd love to hear what you think, I need a positive feedback bubble in this trying time, I feel like I'm being gaslit by the fandom. I'm writing anonymously cuz my account is just not milgram related at all.... And also I have social anxiety and worry over each post I ever post.

(dang Mikoto is just really freaking relatable as a person with awful stress relief skills, with gigantic expectations for myself and having spiraled into very bad coping mechanisms in the past which were basically different flavors of self harm)

the mv (#hisface) is soooo cutes. the eyebag action (⸝⸝๑﹏๑⸝⸝) ... although i'm rather meh on the music. i'm also a bit meh on the circumstances of his crime, so the mv was kinda unsatisfying... i getchu.

the weird hate [re: yamanaka's writing choices] is literally is just people who want to dehumanise mikoto (shit like 'trust... it's the writing that is ableist... not me, refusing to engage with the text beyond seeking stereotypes ( ◡̀_◡́)') and want to invalidate his circumstances just because they are too foreign to conceive. like sorry it's not the satanic ritual you muricans wanted, and sorry you've never been parentified, but it's so completely unfair to say it being 'just his job' was an unrealistic circumstance to drive a very unfortunate and flawed person to mass murder, when you're coming at what that means from a completely different culture, life experience, values system.

isn't it like that getting less than like 4 hour of sleep literally makes you not record memories?

like???? yes! you get brain damage in the parts of your brain that deal with memory! you can die!!! and why are we pretending that the huge amount of real people who have died from overwork in japan should have also just firmed it or quit. he's a microcosm of the culture yamanaka is writing from. it's so grossly unkind.

everything about him is deeply tragic, yeah. his upbringing has so many emotional abuse and neglect nuggets, you can only fucking imagine what leads a guy to genuinely believe he's never gotten angry. the reveal of the extent of his self-medicating is so harrowing, too. THE LINE ABOUT HIS BODY BEING BROKEN?? IT WAS THE POINT IN THE VD THAT MY CHEST BEGAN TO HURT. IT STARTED TO GET TOO REAL.

there is no good ending for him, his circumstances were just too unfortunate. it's genuinely harrowing, it's awful, and in a lot of ways, he's massively unsympathetic. he's makes an intensely good character for conveying that sort of grim and gross hopelessness, as someone who genuinely believed things were fine, and would just turn out fine, if he kept going, kept doing what he had to do, and shutting off everything else inside him, up until the point he felt his last lifeline was to hold power over someone in the worst way he could. selfish? maybe. he should have killed himself instead.

one of the last things we can imagine he was able to think before his life ended in that doorway that afternoon, was that all of his suffering and self mutilation had really all been for nothing. and the worst part is that that fact was almost something freeing. but it never got to be.

This is something of a follow up from this lol

Part 2