Im Just A Little Guy

Oh man you guys weren't kidding about the Twitter refugees with empty blogs. Spooky

A fruit fly is a little messenger of god born to fly into your mouth and deliver 1 calory to you

my mom purposely overpaid her credit card bill by 1 cent so every month they send her a letter that says they owe her 1 cent and it costs them a dollar to send the letter plus the paper. she is costing corporations money 👍

Yes, but the added environmental cost of mailing a paper letter...

do you think they cut down a whole tree because my mom overpaid one cent. do you think they make one new piece of paper every time they need one

But trucks have to move that paper!

are you not aware that those trucks would be going either way. they aren’t taking another trip for one envelope

hello my name is billy postman, operator of the world's smallest and most environmentally harmful mail truck. it is one envelope big and requires thirty seven gallons of fuel to go one mile. (I personally am about one and a half envelopes big) my beloved truck is very slow and very loud and I hate both flora and fauna so so so much. I love corporations though

imagine if you will a meal or food of some type

i love how delusional some articles of clothing are, like you read the tag and its like “hand wash only/tumble dry on low” son you are a cotton tshirt. youre going in the warsh and whatever happens in there is in gods hands

when I was younger I spent too much time on rp chat sites, and one time I was John F. Kennedy and this stranger asked me what it felt like to get my head blown off or something. Like genuinly. And, idk I’m 14 years old. Anyways, I gave them a very non-problematic, artistic, answer, something like “I felt a breeze of fresh air and remembered my childhood” etc etc. And the stranger replied “that’s beautiful” and I replied “actually it was head hurtyyy head owwiee” and they replied by saying that I should be ashamed of myself for desecrating his memory or whatever. First of all, I have no excuse but it’s funny, and second of all, who asks that? What was it like to die? Nobody knows

the clock & calculator apps are like twin sisters to me

number...

had a dream where my mom tried to give our Venus fly trap a spoonful of milk and it immediately started hacking and coughing like an adult human man

no cropped boomer meme will ever make me laugh harder than he just sold rice