Byslexic Ditch

IMAGE 1: Smosh fanart of various figures of Sarah Christ and the Chosen.

Figure 1: 2 identical busts of Sarah with a look of dread, titled: “Sarah ‘women are my specialty’ Christ.” The first has greasy choppy bangs, and the second has long wet strands of hair alongside her face, labeled: “classic vs overgrown bangs.”

Figure 2: A bust of Sarah blowing a strand of hair out of her face in annoyance, labeled: “needs haircut (not gonna get one).”

Figure 3: Sarah Christ and the Chosen in the Spiderverse mentor meme with Sarah as Peter B Parker and the Chosen as Miles Morales. Sarah is thinking of the Creekside Killer while Chosen is thinking of Sarah. Beside Sarah is the bisexual flag with the quote, “Put some tits on that guy, I’d fuck him,” and beside Chosen is the trans flag with the quote, “I saw the board game glow,” as well as a note underneath that reads: “(idek which direction i just know it to be true).” The figures are colored in a blue and pink palette.

IMAGE 2: Smosh fanart of various figures of Sarah Christ and the Chosen.

Figure 1: Sarah and the Chosen redrawn in a Brooklynn 99 meme. Sarah has choppy bangs and is holding Chosen to her chest protectively and aggressively says, “If anything happens to the Chosen, I’m killing everyone in this room and then myself.” His face is expressionless and squished in her embrace.

Figure 2: The Chosen is drawing out his sword in defense of Sarah as he says, “Don’t worry, Sarah! If this guy wants to mess with you, he’s gonna have to get through ME first.” He looks the same as before, but Sarah has overgrown bangs. Behind him, she draws a line across her throat in a threatening death glare. The text above points to both figures 1 and 2, reading: “Characterized by: devotion + delusion (interchangeable between them).”

Figure 3: A headshot of Sarah with overgrown bangs, giving a side-eye and holding a cigarette between her lips. Sunglasses sit atop her head with the note: “Still has the sunglasses Chosen gave her :”)” Another note points to her cigarette that reads: “Just holding it.”

VIDEO DESCRIPTION: Smosh Mouth clips of The Chosen & Sarah Christ episode with OP’s commentary as follows:

“the chosen [handshake emoji] sarah christ: i would kill for you.”

“there’s a naive but genuine sweetness in the way that the chosen thinks of sarah and wonders why misfortune seems to follow her”

“he chalks up her “bad luck” to mirrors instead of her own reckless actions, which speaks to his superstitions but even more so his admiration of her”

“so it’s significant that the chosen later gifts sarah charmed sunglasses to protect her from ‘dark forces’”

“they look out for each other in their own ways :”)”

IMAGE 3: Screenshots of Sarah Christ subtitles from various Smosh videos against a bisexual flag background, as follows:

“Before I knew it, I, Sarah Christ, had fallen deeply in love with Amanda Lehan-Canto.”

“Let’s just say I wasn’t a wet cop until I met Amanda.”

“You don’t know anything about gay pride, do you?”

“Put some tits on that guy, I’d (bleep) him.”

“Women are my specialty.”

IMAGE 4: Screenshot of a comment section from the Chosen Trivial Pursuit: Try Not To Laugh video, as follows:

Commenter: “the chosen canonically being aware of I Saw the TV Glow is INSANE”

Reply 1: “I mean he has undeniable tboy swag”

Reply 2: “one day the chosen’s egg will crack”

OP’s note pointing to both replies (colored in trans colors): “I like that these both co-exist for the Chosen.”