Tol Angry Asian ✿

This Saturday morning found a group of friends gathered for brunch. What was supposed to be a relaxing morning of bottomless mimosas turned into a therapy session when Courtney once again turns up with a broken heart. Angela and Amanda felt bad for their friend, they really do. It’s just that she constantly goes into relationships with these men that are destined to let her down. Amanda tended to take the approach of empathy, but Angela was all in on her tough love. 

“You have to stop settling for those losers, Court.” Angela said to her friend. It came across as a demand rather than a suggestion.  

Courtney sent her friend a side-eyed glare, “Gee thank you for the world changing tip.” Sadness took over her face again, “I just really thought he could be the one, you know? We just really seemed to hit it off immediately.”  

Amanda rubbed a comforting hand across her shoulders. “Well... maybe it just wasn’t the right time,” she offered her distraught friend. 

“Oh, for the love of God, Amanda, she literally met him at a random party. He was stoned out of his mind! Court, you point-blank told us he wasn’t that funny, but at least he had a car and a house. You had to convince yourself, and us, to not kill the relationship after one date.” 

“Well…” Amanda started, but she can’t find a counter-argument to the truth bomb that was dropped.  “She’s not wrong.” 

Courtney stared at her friends not wanting to believe what they’re saying, but felt the truth behind each word hit her like a ton of bricks. She thinks back to all her previousrelationships. There was Logan who was always so focused on being nonchalant that she’s still not sure if he was even interested. After him, James came along. His only personality trait was that he had dimples, there wasn’t much more to him than that. And most recently, the one that brought them here, Louis who didn’t even have a real job, his parents would pay for everything.  

“I know you’re right, Ange. I just don’t understand why the actual worst guys keep finding me.” Courtney sighed, annoyed with both herself for her lack of standards and with her friends for pointing it out. .  

“It’s because you have absolutely no expectations from men.” The table was shocked by Amanda ripping that bandage off. They were used to her passive comfort rather than honesty. Court and Angela stared dumbfounded as Amanda continued. “You have continuously dated guys because they were ‘good enough’, the only issue is you don’t have any base level expectations, so any loser fits your description of ‘good enough’. Doesn’t cuss you out? ‘Good enough.’ Is close to your age? ‘Good enough.’ You have no standards above basic decency, and that’s the problem.” 

Finally, over her shock, Angela nodded in agreement. “She has a point, Court.” 

“Fine, then what would you suggest?” Court asked out of defeat. 

“Make a list?” Amanda suggested, followed by a scoff from Court. 

“No, no that’s a good idea.” Angela jumped in as if a lightbulb had appeared. “You should make a list, with our input of course. Include everything you want from a man. Not just the basic requirements but specific expectations you have from someone you could potentially spend the rest of your life waking up next to.”  

Courtney mulled the suggestion over, gnawing on the inside of her lip. “Alright I’ll humor you.” Courtney gestured to the waitress. “I’m so sorry, but would you happen to have a piece of paper and a pencil that we could borrow? Also, if we could get a few more mimosas when you got a chance, that would be amazing. God knows we need them.” The waitressnodded, leaving to retrieve a piece of paper for the group. Court makes a mental note to leave an amazing tip behind for her. After a couple of minutes, she returned with a fresh bottle of prosecco and a pitcher of orange juice alongside the pencil and paper. She left the three women to their plotting and drinks. 

Scratches of graphite on paper could be heard faintly below the women’s overlapping voices. Amanda took the paper and wrote at the top in large scrawling letters “COURTNEY’S EXPECTATIONS AND ULTIMATUMS”. 

“Okay where do we start?” Courtney asks, still finding this whole idea a bit ridiculous. 

“Start with the previous male failures, what about all of them gave you the ick?” Amanda asked. 

“Well, they need to have a real job. I cannot deal with another man well into his 20’s still calling himself an entrepreneur without actually being employed. Like yeah, a trust fund is great, but I cannot handle someone with no work ethic.” 

Amanda wrote “1.” on the top line of the paper followed by “No fake jobs”. Angela snatched the paper from her, looking at Court. “What next?” 

“He can’t be too desperate. If they’re willing to go out with anything with a pulse they’re not for me. Not that there’s anything wrong with dating around, I just need to know that they think I’m something special.” Angela scribbled something down. “Oh, which brings me to the next thing. No more nonchalant guys. Why do they think it’s attractive to be so passive? Like no thank you, you need to take action and make a commitment.” Angela jotted down the third requirement while Court ponders what to add next. “I think I also need them to have some sort of hobby. Some personality trait that makes them actually interesting. I need to be able to have a conversation with them, and you can’t really converse with a wet sponge.” Amanda let out a burst of laughter as she downed more of her drink. She then grabbed the paper back from Angela.  

“I think those were most of the past failings in your relationships, so that’s the base line complete. Now what are some things above those that you would need from a partner?”  

Courtney took another sip and looked over the paper that Amanda was holding. “He needs to be evolved.” 

“What does that even mean?” Angela scoffed at her friend’s unspecific requests. 

“I just mean that like he needs to be progressive. He needs to obviously match on politics because, ew, why would I settle on that? He needs to be okay if I go out to the club without him with my girls. I don’t want an insecure controlling man. He has to support me being the badass woman I am.” 

“I know that’s right.” Amanda chirped as she jots down this requirement to the page.  

“Also, I’m sorry, but I need to be adored. If we’re talking about a perfect scenario, I want to be loved. I can’t accept anything less, which ties back to the hatred of nonchalance, but I digress.”  

“Is there anything else that you absolutely need to add at this moment? You can always add more later, we’ll keep this paper front and center on the fridge.” Amanda stated. 

“We do not, and will not, be putting this on the fridge.” Courtney counters. 

“We absolutely will be putting this on the fridge.” Angela shut down Courtney’s protest.  

“I can tell I’m not going to win this argument one-to-two. Fine, put it wherever you want. I can’t think of anything else at the moment, but I’m sure each date will come with more add-ons. Every mistake made means I have more information to guide me going forward after all. Each time I talk to a man will leave me asking for more and more requirements.” 

The three women decided to sign off the sheet with a kiss mark. After applying a fresh coat of their lip product of choice, they passed the sheet around, leaving their signature at the very bottom of the page next to each other’s.  

“You know what we should do?” Angela started. “We should go out tonight, apply this list to real life.” Courtney groans, but Amanda lights up at the suggestion. 

“Absolutely we should, and you’re not allowed to take home any numbers that don’t fit the list.” 

“I thought you guys agreed that meeting guys at parties is a big no going forward. Need I remind you of Logan and his lack of sobriety when we met.”  

“Well, we’re not going to a party, are we? No, we’re going to our favorite bar.” Amanda answered herself.  

Courtney still isn’t convinced, but of course she agrees to make her friends happy. The group pays their bill and leaves a massive tip for their waitress’s aid in completing the list. They set off for their shared apartment, planning outfits, and game plans for the night.  

“You need to wear the little black dress Court, there is absolutely no way you won’t have twelve guys approach you in that. Then you can be picky with who actually meets the requirements,” Amanda demanded.  

“Fine, but only if I can help pick your outfits. No jeans and a going-out top, I will not be the only one wearing a dress at that bar if I have any say in the matter.” 

“Fair enough,” Angela conceded. “Oh, I can’t wait for tonight, it’s been so long since we’ve been out.” 

The rest of the afternoon went by quickly as they separately got some work done. Courtney focused on laundry. She could hear Amanda meal prepping in the kitchen and Angelatapping away at her computer keys. If she needs to have expectations in a relationship, she needs to convince Angela to set some expectations for her job, they worked her far to hard. As the clock ticked by, the girls convened for a quick meal before they all crowded into the bathroom to get ready for the night ahead of them. Someone grabbed the Bluetooth speaker and connected their phone to set the playlist. The first song that played was Olivia Rodrigo’s “Expectations”. 

“Huh, that’s ironic,” Courtney commented. 

“It’s not random, just figured I’d set the vibe for the night.” Amanda winked at Courtney.