incurious unacademic

being the weird girl always pays off in the end

what Work is the most important? the work you have to do next. narrow the scope of focus down to that singular glittering point.

it's rotten work, but without the rot nothing can grow

it's rotten work but decay is an essential part of the cycle of death and rebirth

when clarice lispector said “respect yourself more than others, respect your needs, respect even what is bad in you—respect especially what you imagine to be bad in you—for the love of God, don’t try to make yourself into somebody perfect—don’t copy an ideal person, copy yourself—that is the one way to live. take for yourself what belongs to you, and what belongs to you is all that your life demands. it seems like an amoral moral. but what is truly amoral is having given up on yourself. have the courage to transform yourself, my darling”

[staggering to my feet and wiping a single perfect drip of blood from my mouth] i have to get back on my bullshit. no matter the cost

i genuinely believe that when you fall in love with learning, everything else begins to realign. confidence stops being this elusive concept and becomes the quiet result of knowing yourself. knowing your mind. knowing your worth. i’ve never met a well-read person with low self esteem.

i don’t think people understand how much of life is grief. not just people dying, but losing the version of yourself you thought you’d become. grieving the city you had to leave. the friends you lost not in argument, but in silence. the summer that will never come back. the feeling that maybe you peaked at 12 when you were reading books under the covers and believing in forever

your intelligence means fucking nothing if youre devoid of empathy

when welcome to night vale said: “Sleep heavily and know that I am here with you. The past is gone, and cannot harm you anymore. And while the future is fast coming for you, it always flinches first, and settles in as the gentle present. This now, this us, we can cope with that. We can do this together you and I.”

it’s awesome how we have unlimited chances to become a better version of ourselves

I want to live simply. I want to sit by the window when it rains and read books I’ll never be tested on. I want to paint because I want to, not because I’ve got something to prove. I want to listen to my body, fall asleep when the moon is high and wake up slowly, with no place to rush off to. I want not to be governed by money or clocks or any of the artificial restraints that humanity imposes on itself. I just want to be, boundless and infinite.