smalltownbelle♥♚

I had no idea giant porcupines made fucking precious sounds

Omgggg the sounds.

Teddy is back on my dash and all is right with the world

WE ALMOST TO OCTOBRE POST OF PUNKINBEARS

yeS YES YES

This is a lucky post

I still think that my favorite urban legend/folklore fact is that there are certain areas in New Orleans where you cannot get a taxi late at night not because it isn’t safe, but because taxi companies have had recurring problems of picking up ghosts in those areas who are not aware that they are dead and disappearing from the cab before reaching the destination and therefore stiffing the driver on the fare causing a loss for the company.

Villain Origin Story

god imagine Steve giving Peter his Captain America is Disappointed in You face/lecture over something dumb and Peter just fucking dissociating and zoning back in to “Peter! Are you even listening to me???” and looking him in the eye and being like “I’m completely immune at this point. You can’t even touch me.” and walking the fuck away

canon.

the real reason why Peter agreed to fight cap at the airport

Herr Salieri I dont feel so good.

My mind is like an internet browser. 17 tabs are open, 4 of them are frozen and I don’t know where the music is coming from.

So my new English professor is my uncle only he has no idea because he hasn’t talked to my mom in about 20 years so do you think is should tell him

You know what nevermind he’s a dick I’m going to talk to my mom to get dirt on him so I can blackmail him if the need arises

You should write a story about a boy for an assignment and include loads of life details about him that your mum tells you so that it’s obviously him but change all the names then hand it in and be really confused if he questions you about it

Oh my god

Lately I’ve been doing this thing where when men give me shit at my job, I choose to instead speak to their wives/girlfriends/female counterpart. I had a dude today try to yell at me and I ignored him and instead spoke in a very level voice to his wife instead. He literally stomped his feet like a fucking toddler and said “stop ignoring me! I’m talking!” And his wife said “George, please use a quieter voice. You’re embarrassing me.”

You are a genius and I’m using this

Lol I learned it from my mom. She does this all the time and eventually the guy either sulks off somewhere or adjusts his behaviour and THEN she’ll address him. I did this with my friends puppies when I was training them and it works the same tbh

Years ago now, I got curious and wanted to see what would happen if I talked to the woman by default in any man/woman couple, and because I’d caught myself doing the opposite for no good reason (except sexism, and I felt like I should work on that). It became a habit, and I still do it today. Especially older men will get downright hostile over this, but fuck it, if that’s all it takes to get him pissed off maybe he needs to learn he’s not the center of the universe.

what;s the point of having animals if you won’t let them on the furniture, you stupid bitch

This is an underrated joke

an electric toothbrush