the enemy drank water today. did you?

i drank water three days ago. im several steps ahead of the enemy. this is what it takes to win

I find it kind of stupid how 'half full' vs 'half empty' is framed as an optimist/pessimist thing. If it starts full and gets halfway drained, it's half empty. If it starts empty and gets halfway filled, it's half full. If you don't know the starting state it's both simultaneously.

Chat Noir is a perfect character because when given a miraculous every other character takes it very seriously and usually acts like themselves but more responsible, and then Chat Noir acts like a weird furry cat boy for some reason. Nothing about the cat miraculous requires he runs around on all fours and makes cat puns he does that for the love of the game.

hi my name is dark yagami and my goal is to give birth to billions of people

why is it so hot. why is it so hot. I am being punished.

parker and hardison pretending to be a couple on a con: we're newlyweds!! we just got married and we're so so so in love. she's the apple of my eye, the darling of my heart.... he's my very reason for being and my life has improved so much since meeting him ..... we're just so happy to be together <3 nate and sophie pretending to be a couple on a con: (screaming death threats at each other so loudly drunkenly and incoherently that everyone in the building is begging them to leave)

level 271 penismancer demonstrating his arcane might

The phrase "They don't want it perfect, they want it Friday" does wonders for my productivity.

Did you ever just feel so lucky for knowing someone you met online? Like.. I was one click away from not following you. I was one second away from never even knowing of your existence.I would never have been this happy!!!...

Oof. Cheney Orr is probably gonna get a Pulitzer for this.