slytherin matériel

the nascar fandom is in shambles rn bc the official account posted #yascar with a link to pride merchandise and a real life reply was ‘smh no longer supporting nascar has been going downhill since they banned the confederate flag’

Man, I kinda wanna be like Silence Brand! but unfortunately "Yascar" is like really, really funny

a vampire giving themselves a pep talk to a mirror that has a crudely drawn picture of themselves that they drew taped to it

I hate it when I’m trying to look up a good golem recipe and the rabbi prefaces it with ten paragraphs about his life in 17th-century Prague. Like, I feel for you, Maharal, but there are anti-semites going unsuplexed while I’m searching for the ingredient list

When I made my needle felt golem the Cantor told me how to make him come alive and then said “now don’t do that”

actually that would be a super cute middle grade or younger chapter book… kid makes a little felt golem (or more traditional clay golem) in an art class, ill advisedly brings it to life, now tiny golem is trying to protect the kid’s jewish community even though it’s only like four inches tall

it really would

I know I’m being an insufferable worldbuilding nerd here, but my basic metric for evaluating media with very inhuman protagonists is “how easily can one offer a complete and coherent account of this media’s plot without ever mentioning the fact that the protagonist is, for example, a talking car?”. The harder it is, the higher it scores.

Do you ever lie awake wondering how the heck Gimli knows what a nervous system is

Clearly dwarves have medical knowledge far more advanced than that of the other races.

His Majesty Dr. Gimli, son of Gloin, Neurosurgeon, M.D.

gimli trying to explain his studies to legolas, a flat-earther

#*scroll down* #*remember that middle earth is canonically flat for elves and round for everyone else* #*scroll back up & smash that reblog button"

Sorry it’s what to elves

So, in Tolkein lore, the world was originally flat, with most of the land in the middle (hence Middle Earth).  But the Numenorians (men who were rewarded with their own Atlantis-equivalent island for service in the first big war against Melkor, but eventually Power Corrupts etc) tried to invade the uttermost west which was basically Elf Heaven.  To put an end to that sort of thing, the creator of the world Bent The World and made it a sphere…but left elves able to treat it like a flat disk.  So elves can sail west and reach Elf Heaven, but a man or dwarf or hobbit who sails west will eventually wrap around to the east coast of Middle Earth.

This is why Legolas can see for such great, almost impossible distances. The Earth does not curve for him.

Legolas said fuck the horizon