Istahtaisinkohan

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

turn your attention to The Character

[ID: drawing of someone talking about explosions, stabbings, and sloppy makeouts with an evil grin, labeled *Spitballing some insane shit related to the media you're fixated to*. someone in the background gives a silent +1 like, labeled oomf from another fandom. the first person whips around to look at them, suddenly embarrassed]

I was debating pre- and post- smartphone existentialism with an older gentleman today and he stopped part way through and said “Why are you a security guard? Why aren’t you teaching this at some college somewhere?” And I didn’t know what to say so I went with “Well I used to make art but nobody pays an artist”

I want to invoke thought and wonder and introspection and encourage the passions of every soul I meet forever and ever and dig until I find the glorious potential for creation and experience and joy in every single one but unfortunately I must pay rent and so I stand, a meat shield, an NPC with unlockable dialogue

#capitalism brain tells you that anyone interesting must fight to the top of their interest#and precludes the possibility of everyone everyone everyone already being interesting

You right you right

girl shocked to discover that inaction can have consequences too

forever obsessed with artemis fowl who, upon realizing that he needs a fuckton of money in order to keep searching for his missing and probably dead father, doesn’t reach for his impeccable hacking skills or his ability to flawlessly recreate artistic masterpieces in order to commit art theft but instead runs the most absolutely insane and convoluted plan that’s ever been constructed (rivaled only by the insane and convoluted plans he constructs when he’s older and aided by time and practice). based solely, by the way, off of what basically amounts to the fairy bible which is written entirely in verse AND in a language that no human being has ever been permitted to see let alone translate. and the plan WORKS

Also the ingenious loophole that he uses to get away with everything is based on his theory of how Santa Claus works.

And also he didn't have this genius loophole worked out BEFORE the fairy army was at his door with a nuclear bomb. He actually said he needed them to show up so he could prove it worked