SLIME

some of you are miserable because you're mean. like you're just mean to people and things

"why don't i have any friends" because you are mean

this can be fixed at least in part very easily though! just stop being mean. i believe in all of you 👍

“the feminine urge to—” (gunshots)

(cash register ding) and take ya money

how do you get ppl who are like ‘love love LOVE all that matters is love!!! life is about love and nurturing and love!!’ and then interpersonally theyre some of the most unpleasant people imaginable

tragic. 37 clowns were killed today in a devastating one car pile up.

#the funeral has only one casket. it's what they would have wanted

Walks into the MRI room, my pockets absolutley stuffed with ball bearings

Seriously though, don't do this. That MRI machine will not only yank the bearings straight out of your pockets, it will very likely yank YOU off the ground and straight into/against the MRI machine. Which can be fatal.

Still Jizzing

The jizz master has logged on and is refusing to log off. 

Folks, you won’t believe this, but he’s still Jizzing!

Impressive! Still Jizzing! Wonder how long Max Rebo will go for!

This just in, I have reports that Max Rebo is continuing to Jizz. Just two more days and it’s a new record, folks!

Max Rebo continues to absolutely crush it in the jizzing department. If this holds, he WILL have the new world record folks! 

All of these are so accurate it hurts

@nicadenic