ooh shooba wormy

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

I feel like not enough people realize that people under enormous strain act really really fucking Weird

People on Tumblr love sharing information about themselves no matter how asinine it is. And I'm the same way. Everybody tell me what the last thing you drank was.

earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that

I think if zoidberg moved into bikini bottom he wouldnt look out of place at all i wouldnt even notice him there

I like how polite he is because he isnt intruding but curious somewhat

My toxic trait is that no matter what I need three hours to myself at the end of the day to do absolutely nothing.

I should be doing more to appreciate the lack of marvel movies in today's popular culture. I once yearned for marvel movies to have this level of irrelevance. They used to feel almost ozymandian, like an empire that had no beginning and no end. and now tony stark iron man is naught but two vast and trunkless legs of stone.

hope tumblr lasts another 20 years so i can liveblog my midlife crisis

Reblog if you think the person you reblogged this from deserves to be happy.