Happy Easter ya'll, I had a dream that I won SOAD tickets and Jesus was at the concert with me and told me Serj Tankian originally started as one of his "self-insert tulpas", but he gave him his own life to live
Here's my artistic rendition
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@slimeydreamer
Happy Easter ya'll, I had a dream that I won SOAD tickets and Jesus was at the concert with me and told me Serj Tankian originally started as one of his "self-insert tulpas", but he gave him his own life to live
Here's my artistic rendition

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Had a dream where the new hit pop sensation showing up on all the music charts, was this woman named "Tomato". Her whole deal, was that she wrote hyperpop songs about partying in Italy. I was listening to one of her songs off my workplace's radio, and it was a BRAT styled song, but she just kept listening the ingredients to her Nona's red sauce.
I turned to my boss like, "Is this really what the kids are listening to?" and she got all quiet. She pulled out her workbook, flipped to a page and showed me a recipe for red sauce. All the ingredients matched the measurements listed in the song. I asked "Are you tomato????" and my boss went "No, but someone here at work is and they must've stolen MY Nona's recipe!!".
I gasped and woke up from the plot twist haha.
Had a dream where I couldn't find my work shoes. I searched high and low, and neither me or anyone I asked had seen my shoes. Eventually, I caved and just bought a new pair.....only for the salesman to pull out my EXACT pair of work shoes. When I asked how he received these shoes, he said he legally couldn't tell me. I just walked out barefoot and pissed off.
Had a dream where I was in a parent-teacher conference with Han Solo and Princess Leia about their son Ben. I said he had a streak of anger to him that frequently led to other students being bitten. Dad claimed it was most likely just him teething (all my students were two years old).
I offered to keep chewing toys to help with his problems, but Mom was worried about him "chewing toys like a dog all day" instead of actually learning anything at school. I said the chewing toys would most likely help him relax enough to actually become interested in school, and Dad snorted, "Most likely? So you don't even know what he needs". I then asked if they wanted their son to continue hurting other children, and they both left in a huff, insisting that this was all a phase and he'd grow out of it once all his baby teeth came in.
...even in my dreams, parents are still rude it seems.
I had a dream where I lived in some weird, alternative version of our world, where everything was mostly the same....only "cannibalism" was more common place.
Basically, as far back as Ramses the First's time, humanity somehow was able to get reallyyyy technologically advanced much earlier, specifically with food science. It became a thing for people to cut of their limbs, pop them in a microwave like object, and their limbs became regular food. Then, they rubbed some starfish-based cream on their body and re-grew their limbs.
There were entire cultural practices about how to "properly consume bodies". Like, Jewish people still wouldn't eat limbs with cheese and Hindu people believed that the only "allowed flesh" for them to consume was their pinky fingers. Meanwhile, Catholics were among some of the most prolific cannibals, as they believed they had a piece of Jesus's actual flesh/blood, that they would constantly clone for services.
....I need to stop eating cheese before bed.

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Had a dream where I went to a local bookstore in my town. They were having a sale to get rid of a lot of their older detective books, so I figured I'd at least see what they had. For literally a dime, I bought a book called "You Solve This Reading!", which was about a guy stuck in a book who needed help "escaping to the real world".
It seemed like a silly plot, so I bought the book and read it. It took me weeks, months, almost a year, but I figured how to "save" the guy. I ended up saying the answer out loud, and the book BLEW UP!
When the smoke cleared, some dead guy's body was just casually on my desk. I'm not sure if I solved the book incorrectly, or if he was already long dead, but I was still proud my work led to *something*.
Had a dream where I was at work, and none of the students showed up. So, my coworkers and I just had a deep cleaning day at the school. At one point, I scrubbed the floors so hard, that it opened up a crater. However, the school didn't have a budget to fix it, but we did have the budget to buy more play mats. So, we all just kinda padded the crater and turned it into a weird conversation pit for the students.
Had a dream where I was grocery shopping and got into a jam with my cart and another customer. She looked really upset, even after I apologized, so I tried to redirect our introduction. She was wearing a purple sash that said "MARCH MADNESS" on it, so I asked her if that was her full legal name (I have no idea why I went with this option).
She then proceeded to freak out that I was talking to her "in her dream". She claimed "you people are supposed to never talk to me, just walk on by". I told her I just needed groceries and to please calm down. She ignored me, saying "Wait, this happened before. I just need to literally kick you out of my head". She then promptly kicked me right in the stomach, and I DID wake up. I felt frightened.
Had a dream where my bedroom door kept jamming only if I used my left hand. For some reason, there seemed to be a sort of force preventing me from twisting the knob. But once I switched my hands, it worked perfectly. Each door suddenly had a perfered hand. I ended up calling out of work so I could go around my town and better understand each publicly available door. My boss said she "didn't quite understand my enthusiasm" but still approved my PTO.
Had a dream where a new drink was invented. It was called "Donk-It" and it was marketed as "the future of thirst". It's advertisements seemed inspired by Planet of the Apes, with them all featuring an ape future/ape families in human clothes. Eventually, word go out that it was all an elaborate ploy by Nintendo to see if they could expand further Nintendo products into the food and drink industry.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Had a dream where I made a huge serving of steamed rice. I put in a dash of sesame oil and seasoned rice vinegar to flavor it. The rest of my dream just consisted of me making rice balls and coming up with different flavor combos (Ex, pickled plum with crush up peanuts).
I now want to make this real!
Had a dream that my town was having a battle of the bands. I went to watch the performances, yet I was terrified of most of them. Every performance seemed to be avant-garde nightmare fuel, with a KISS cover band mixed in. By the time the last band ended, I had sweat out every liquid in my body and had essentially become human jerky.
Had a dream where I got a call from a straight friend of mine. He wanted to let me know that he "thought it over" and "found himself gay". I told him "Uhh, cool", and kept it at that. Not a moment later, I got another phone call from ANOTHER straight friend. He also wanted me to know he was gay. I kept getting bombarded with various different straight friends, all of which seemed to have decided that I was the best person to come out to.
Had a dream where I bought my cat a "speaking collar" where, as the name implies, was a collar to help pets speak their truth.
Well, after buying it for my cats, I found out they both hated my cooking. They said all the spices I use make the air "really hurt" and they didn't like it. I said I was so sorry for not thinking about how they might feel about stuff like that. I then made a cat-friendly dessert for them as an apology.
Had a dream where I was stuck in an episode of the Simpsons. Something was clearly happening with the main cast, as I kept seeing them run past me or do something outrageous (Ex, Maggie driving a truck).
I ended up at Moe's, where I asked Moe what was happening. He said "This sorta thing just happens anymore" and then ignored me while I finished my drink. I decided it was better to accept my fate, so I aimlessly walked around Springfield. Eventually, I just walked off onto blank paper and woke up.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Had a dream where I was put in charge of showing all the student teachers the ropes of a real classroom. My job had an opening available, and my actual boss was on vacation, so they put me in charge of finding the best candidate.
I had the student teachers come up (and execute) their own ideas for a class project. I then evaluated their performance (Ex, "were the children engaging in the activity?") and gave my own version of a grade in the form of stickers. A smiley face sticker meant they did a good job, a frowny face meant bad, etc. Whoever did the best was the one most likely to get the opening.
Well, the only problem there, was that someone pranked me and replaced my stickers with weird ones. For example, there were several pro-Bush stickers, a few for "Big Hero 6" and then a dozen food-grade stickers for apples and bananas. I ened up giving all the "good" grades via the food-grade stickers and the pro-Bush ones for the "bad" grades.
I later got sent to HR for implying that Bush wasn't a good President, but I woke up before entering HR's office.
Had a dream where I hit a thrift gold mine, and found several Bob Mackie dresses. They were all sadly not my size, but thankfully, that was only height wise. I ended up getting the dresses professionally tailored to my height, and I started making up excuses to wear the dresses everywhere I went (even if it was just to the grocery store).
10/10 would dream this again.