Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
My life's a story that I'm not done telling yet
So I'll keep on living despite the voices in my head
Telling me daily the world would rather have me dead
It's up to me now to live on without regret
But it's not easy, 'cause I'm so much more than sad
Like my self-loathing haunting me each night in bed
The days when emotions are loud then completely flat
When I'm totally overwhelmed but my eyes won't wet
Then I look back at the life that I've led
Run back conversations and confrontations I've fled
The tears unshed, the blood not bled
I see a failing coward with a heart of lead
So I look for hope in the people I've met
And in them I see my light reflect
And I realise life's a story
That we're not done telling yet
I feel like shit and I can't explain why
Because I'm so shit and my mind's effort-shy
I feel uncreative, like I've felt for a while
Because my brain's rotting and my psyche is vile
My body wastes away because I don't exercise
I'm stuck on the couch while my thoughts echo lies
And I can barely focus even if I want to
A withering attention span with so much left to do
Oh, I want to write
Not to speak my truth
Or whatever that might mean
But to find out what's inside
And to make sure that it is seen
Not by crowds of fans
But by myself and friends
And I write to understand
What it is I have to say
To extend a searching hand
To whoever feels the same
So we might both be held
Have our aching slightly quelled
And know we're not alone
As, at any moment, the walls could ignite
They lie awake in fear each night
And the monster under their bed
Is the ever looming threat
Of genocidal maniacs
Who deem their power worth
A million children's deaths
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
The sun sets and rises at once
Eternal twilight over the shadowed expanse
To chase the sun is to flee the dance
And miss the spectacle over darkened lands
──────────────
The moon it shines reflections
From the other side of life
A mirror of connections
That resist the sharpest knife
──────────────
My scattered brain
Drives me insane
Sweet summer rain
Brings autumn's pain
Back in my head
Now I'm missing trains
You're switching lanes
But your scent remains
In my room and my bed
I'm floating adrift in the ocean of my mind
No sail or rudder to steer or defy the tide
With no lack of wanting but a lack of a guide
It’s easy to miss when you aim without a sight
And while I do my floating, no actions will occur
That might seem quite peaceful, I can see the allure
But with no land in sight, will I make it, I'm not sure
Adrift in my mind with zero prospects of a cure
Nothing gets done and no revelations are found
Afloat in my head as I fall through the ground
Nothing to grab onto, in detachment I drown
Reality fleeing as darkness surrounds
If someone gave you fifteen footballs and said:
"Keep these on your person at all times"
You might say: "well shit, guess I will live my life inside"
Because fifteen is too many to carry around
With two in each arm you could maybe carry four
If you're a really good player you might keep more off the floor
Still you would struggle to make it through the door
Balancing one on your head, kicking another repeatedly into the air
Fifteen stays forever too many to bear
And there's no one in the room to help carry their share
Then maybe one day, ever stuck inside,
You might get an idea and you might start to write
Poems and stories to explain the balls away
And yet they'd remain unchanged by anything you say
But after some time you look down at the papers strewn around
And realise your scattered words can form a net
To keep the balls together without lessening their weight
And still you would wobble, still you won't walk straight
But you can sling the net over your shoulder and at last
Make for that door and leave the room in your past
26-07-872, Student Residences, Magaera University
The letter slipped from Victoria’s trembling hands and fell beside the hearth. A stray ember caught the edge of the page; flame flared, then vanished, leaving nothing but ash. As suddenly as it had arrived, the letter was gone, and with it, the last barrier between her and her fate. Her parents were dead. Every gaze would now turn to her. No more hiding. She was to become the next Pearlescent, now.
She glanced wistfully at the fireplace. At the embers smouldering, the sparks flitting in the air. At the ashen remains of the letter that had stolen away any remaining illusions of self-sovereignty. Marvellous, isn’t it? How such small things could bring forth such destruction, such change. A meagre ember could ignite the largest flame. The smallest spark could light the fuse of an explosive. She pondered this for a moment, then started packing.
26-07-872, Somewhere in Baseros
Clouds were drifting overhead as soft bubbly shapes that intermittently blocked the stars. Victoria was lying on her back in the grass looking up, feeling exhausted and invigorated at the same time. She hadn’t stopped walking — running really — since she left her dorm and the campus grounds behind. She had barely heard groundskeeper Warren call after her as she stormed away with tears in her eyes but enthusiastic determination in her heart, the words of that letter still fresh in her mind.
Part of her wondered if she should have stayed just a while longer; she would have gotten her archaeology degree within the next month — would that be an important thing to have out in the real world? No matter, she would’ve been called back to the Sylvandrian court way before that. She thought back then, on that moment, on those icy fingers restraining her, and shivered.
"Lady Thornewood, I must implore you to..." She had paid the man no mind and tried to hurry onward until something suddenly stopped her in her tracks. A bony yet incredulously firm grip clutched her wrist and when she looked back the groundskeeper stared back at her. Those once friendly eyes of a harmless old man now seemed dark and threatening. It was at that moment, that she noticed something she had never before: a dark obsidian insignia pinned to his overcoat, inlaid with golden pickaxes framing ebony branches gnarling around a central diamond. Blackwood.
She barely remembered how she got free, faintly recalling a flash of light. It hadn’t been until hours after her departure that she finally felt safe enough to let herself rest, here in the open meadows south of the elven kingdoms. She turned her gaze eastward, towards the moon. It had been her source of calm and certainty ever since she was a child, but now it seemed as big and unknowable as the life ahead of her. But she was free. Finally.
The wave of relief from that realisation combined with the exhaustion from running pulled her, uncharacteristically, into a deep sleep.
She awoke to a faint rumbling noise coming in from the east. Dew had seeped into her clothing, and the cold into her bones. Groaning against the stiff ache of her muscles as she got up, she tried to identify the source of her rude awakening. Her eyes squinted against the morning sun low on the horizon. Just how long had she been out?
She could barely make out the shapes among the kicked up dust and the orange light. A battalion of Stormwatch soldiers were approaching on horseback, undoubtedly coming to take back what belonged to the homeland: Victoria Verrona Ulesse Thornewood, The Moonlit, Lady of the Pallid Grove, Daughter of the Pearlescent, Heir to the Rosewood Mountain, Princess of Sylvandria.
Well, she wasn’t having it, and bolted westward, running — quite literally — for her life. For her freedom, her autonomy. But soon, a problem arose. She was running straight into what was — in essence — a dead end. Darkness crept into her periphery and fear shot into her chest.
A forest of gnarled, twisting branches emerged before her — stalks like cancerous growths choking out their earthen host. Not the idyllic views of nature and greenery, of serenity and life, but large jagged thorns in all directions. It was clear little lived there but endless shadows and she knew at once what she was heading into.
Ilantrath Eraffaen. An old Sylvan name for the cursed forest. It can be roughly translated as “Wrath of the Silent”. Not even the most experienced rangers bothered crossing through those lands. Now it was her only hope.
She looked back — horses closed in, carrying shouting armoured figures. But no horses would fit through the cracks between the growths, and no soldier would brave what was known to be an inescapable end awaiting in that forest. Desperate, Victoria slipped inside.
The ground was dry and dusty; even water struggled to seep through the thick canopy above. How do these plants survive? she thought, her fear suddenly overshadowed by scholarly curiosity. The roots must run deep, perhaps to some hidden underground reservoir. That would mean most of the plant was underground—but just how deep could that go?
Too deep, and it would be improbable for a seed to sprout through the soil; it would have to grow too far without light. But then again, the water couldn’t be close to the surface either, otherwise there would be moss and fungi abound. It seemed impossible for these growths to exist. Unless... If groundwater levels had receded gradually over time, slowly enough for the plants to adapt by extending their roots deeper… How fascinating!
Wait—maybe they reproduced vegetatively, through roots and runners. The whole forest could even be a single organism. That thought opened up even more possibilities, and she eagerly pulled out her notebook.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
All these lives surround me
Like a stream that hugs a stone
If I remain unchanging
Let my wake become a home
For one to blossom brightly
While slowly I erode
And in the end we'll both be
Washed away alone
But that all makes me think
I could save us both some time
And simply run to sea
To claim that fate as mine
I walk to see the deepest greens come out with the rain
I walk and pass the upright ferns, neatly in their lane
I walk beneath three young beech trees, that echo my refrain
I follow along the ancient path, without answers for my pain
And all the while the birds' sweet song alone can keep me sane
Though hardly I grow, still harder I push myself against the grain
And years pass by, yet all the while I forever feel the same
What hurts the most is that I want to live,
To show the world what I've been ready to give:
Ideas and a perspective that I want to survive.
I want to scream over rooftops how I feel alive.
What hurts the most is how clearly I can see,
In my mind's eye, this more realised version of me.
It hurts me how easily I can see her succeed;
Her mind, a gift that someone could need—
Now I pull on my chains as I watch her recede.
What hurts the most is how these days I feel
Less and less certain that she'll ever be real;
To see my potential, yet every day,
Feel her slip further and further away.
Seeing skies dark through willow trees,
stretched out over open lands, broken through by rays of white,
reminds me: above the rain there rests the light
Like hope cupped in trembling hands, fragile water seeping,
dripping as pain upon the sand
And still my feet carry me farther,
my face against the winds
Shielding from them that sacred water,
stumbling forth while my heart spins
That soon I might be by that water again washed
Finding myself finally falling into life's infinite baths
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
It's another night and the tears won't come.
I want and need them to. I need it to be done.
To release some frustration,
to let go of this exhaustion.
The cup is full, but won't run over.
Someone break the surface tension;
I need a waterfall intervention.
Let me cry rivers that salt the sea.
There's too much inside and it needs release.
I want to go out in the rain and shiver, catch a cold,
Let the droplets roll off my face to make an illusion take hold;
Fake tears substituting those of cortisol.
Could they still lessen the weight of it all?
For now I let out my voiceless scream,
Keep it all inside and dream
Of an end to my days
that sees my body erased,
Destroys my life in disgrace.