"i'm curious, light, have you ever been in love before?" casually asks L, whilst tugging the plastic wrapper off the top of a pudding container, the contents of which are chocolate and cream flavored to be precise. "romantically, to be specific. have you ever experienced romantic feelings for another person?"
light, who was previously engaged in the furious task of typing up reports that no one except the two of them were going to read for future reference, pauses to stare at L all wide eyed like a deer caught in the headlights.
"hah, what an odd thing to ask." responds light, almost entirely to himself as he swivels the chair back so that he's facing the screen, only half attempting to conceal a frown. pretending not to care, L deduces, though it's more an instinctual assumption at this point when it comes to light. "why are you asking me this, ryuuzaki?"
"well," begins L, licking some of the pudding residue off his fingers, speaking with the air of a man definitely not bluffing in the slightest, "since you are exceedingly adamant that you are not in love with misa amane, this would suggest an existing and informed confidence based on the absolute knowledge of what it feels like to be in love."
there's no confusion anymore, but the silence they exchange matches in its palpable mockery. misunderstanding generates animosity and total understanding generates even worse results.
"unfortunately, you're not that stupid, ryuuzaki." hisses light, practically scolding in tone. "we both know that whether being in love or not, it can still be classified and applied with surety if the person knows themself absolutely."
"if the person truly believes they do and claims to, then yes, perhaps in their opinion it is true." nods L, the condescension spilling as sharply as if he had just started laughing at light right then and there.
"why are you debating this with me?" light asks, tone clipped as he attempts to curb the seemingly meaningless direction of exchange.
"because, from your unwillingness to answer this simple question, i can already gage that you know with absolute confidence that misa amane is not someone you harbor romantic affection towards. however, this doesn't answer my original inquiry, so i'll have to ask again. light yagami, have you ever been in love before?"
"i..." he falters, then picks up with an overcompensating cadence of distaste, "what's the point of this, ryuuzaki? i thought misa's stake in the case was the reason you were making such a strange inquiry out of the blue. if you weren't you, i'd think you were trying to waste my time on purpose."
"will you be satisfied if i use it as reference for the kira case? it's good evidence, all things considered, since you don't even understand the reason behind why i'm gathering such information."
"something makes me think you don't even know the reason yourself."
"don't be difficult, light. now answer the question."
"and we're handcuffed together because there's currently a one to five percent chance of you being a lethal mass murdering killer that hasn't been caught for over a year. this world is ridiculous. now answer the question."
"fine. i guess... well, i've been on dates before. i've had girlfriends, so to speak, but that's only in the manner that teenage boys are supposed to have them. they're not to last and i wouldn't describe any feelings i harbored towards any of them as 'love'. it's more like a mutual exchange for the typical childish benefits that kids in such youth would seek. in some businesses, it could just be called premature networking."
"careful there light," chides L, bordering on comically deadpan, "it almost sounds like you'd be a masterful manipulator in terms of using infatuation to your advantage."
"you'll find that it's perfectly reasonable not to be romantically attached, nor interested, when you're only eighteen. although, judging from your lack of going anywhere, i suppose you wouldn't have been able find out any of that from your own personal experience."
"correct. you really do talk too much. you're not even halfway to the answer you believe in, nor the one that i want, are you?"
"what's the point of this if you're only fishing for an answer?"
with his usual unemotive gaze, L lifts his wrist and jangles the chainlink between them. point of everything, he means to say and thus implicitly communicates. light groans.
"don't you think it'd be far too convenient for the answer to just be staring you in the face twenty four seven? everyday, every hour, kira is just walking beside you and sleeping directly next to you. what's the actual likelihood of it being that easy? he might be halfway across the world by now and we-"
"you really do talk too much, and you're getting quite unreasonable about this, which means that what i'm asking is having effect. that's good progress, but can we get back to the primary topic at least?"
sensing he's not going to win this particular argument, light begrudgingly returns to the subject.
"i suppose the answer you're looking for is no. no, i haven't been romantically involved on the basis of feeling love for the other person. however, it doesn't really matter, does it? it's only relevant to your curiosity, and yet, your curiosity is always telling in its own way. therefore, it does matter, i'm just not sure in which way how."
"hm." L has clearly tuned out all of light's complaints, save for his first sentence of admission. "you know light, this much honesty earlier on would've made it a lot more easier for me."
