Sketchbook Protest: World's Greatest Defective

When Men fight, they bond.

Eros, the love of Manliness, bonds Manly Men who fight.

Train and fight!

Always seek Manliness!

Whenever ducks fly south in the winter, they’re actually flying to a big city of ducks where they talk and have jobs and have traffic lights with pictures of ducks in them and every billboard and storefront is a bird pun.

A generic duck guy is a young adult who feels inadequate because his dad is a big broker in the bread stock exchange.

Well then…

Then in 1942 this intense windstorm came and knocked the tree over. And people were bummed. But someone had saved an acorn from the original tree, so they planted that and now Son of the Tree That Owns Itself is over 50 feet tall.

And since this new tree is technically the offspring of the original tree it’s considered to have legally inherited the plot of land it’s inhabiting.

The music and the room temperature are controlled by corporate. Corporate plays a lot of pop covers of Disney princess songs I’ve never heard before. I now have a dance routine to the K-Pop sounding version of Let it Go.

Our sign flickered fast and red and demonically for a week and the repairman said he couldn’t find anything wrong with it.

People did drug deals in, like, broad daylight in the middle of the parking lot multiple times a week.

It’s open 24/7. We had a backup generator none of us knew about until there was a massive storm one night and we looked out to see a tree knocked over and our lights the only thing on for miles. You could weather the apocalypse with no idea the apocalypse was even happening. 

Regular customers included:

A man convinced the chemtrails are real who gave me six separate pieces of literature on the subject

A little person named Kevin who told me “sometimes I call myself a dwarf when I’m feeling whimsical”

An actual group of Neo-Nazis

An actual Earth, Wind, and Fire cover band (they played for us)

Twins who came in separately on the same day and I thought they were one woman changing outfits rapidly for the longest time

A Scottish landscaper who told us we “couldn’t prove he doesn’t know Simon Pegg”

two line cooks got into a really heated argument about whether Vin Diesel is bisexual or not

Winona Ryder in Heathers (1988) Natalia Dyer in Stranger Things (2016)