The Mariner

⌑ Surely it had to be something else, something not altogether tied to Jenny herself but perhaps the very reason SkekLach urged the human child to leave the Castle. An Evil. With the Castle at the epicenter of it all. Thra was still so very new. Still so very strange. Jenny hadn’t the slightest clue her place in any of it— or if finding a place was an option. Homesickness tugged at her heart daily and seeped into occasional crying bouts at night, but no emotion could change her circumstance. Not now.

⌑ Though tempted to inquire about the rumors, Jenny decided it be best for a later discussion. Instead, the child lifted her gaze back to the magenta eyes of the Captain. Had it been months before, Jenny wouldn’t give a moment’s hesitation. She would have leapt at the opportunity to board a ship and explore the endless horizon. And yet she felt hesitation grasp at her throat. Was she up for this? Was she even capable of actively choosing to integrate herself into a people?

⌑ Had her stay with the Castle lords so deeply afflicted her confidence? Though strong and talented at climbing for her age, she was still very much a child. Still very much malleable by the influences of adults— be they human or otherwise.

⌑ “Would I make a good Sifa?” Jenny asked genuinely. Though red her locks and freckled her skin, the human child looked little like a Gelfling. At the Castle, left to her own devices, she survived. But to be a part of something bigger. A collective. It left uncertainty in her chest.

        it tugged at skekSa’s heart, truly, to see a being so young be so far away from everything she’s ever known, including her own people. what must she think of thra, she wondered, so strange and so full of danger. her first exposure was at that rotting castle besides, with depraved creature who’d rather use her or dissect her for study than adopt and protect. skekSa sent a silent prayer of thanks to her younger sibling, grateful that the corruption had not completely tainted their heart. 

all of thra might be on the brink of war, but when the darkness does come, jenny would be safest there, with the wisest, bravest, and most welcoming of the gelfling clans. 

“would you make a good sifa?” she echoed with another guffaw. “oh, my dear, anyone who could’ve survived the castle ‘n made the journey to our coast is welcome. ‘sides, a little birdie told me you’re an excellent climber. i know of a ship that’s in need of someone to man the larron’s nest.” 

she thought it would be a good fit, especially since the vapran captain still had a penchant of sharing his clan’s dour disposition and sense of propriety. and he and his partner have always wanted a child. jenny might be just the thing to put some wind in that ship’s sails. 

“you needn’t decide right away, o’ course,” she added in order to reassure her young guest. “we’re a bit of an acquired taste,” she winked, “or so I’ve been told.

“ With what has happened, my being with you may soften the looks, if for a little. “Last she aware, the Gelfling knew of what she had done back in Sog. The poisoned veins still peak out in a few spots from under her skin. It’s story that helped them go on and march into battle; it is a sad tale of two halves of a gorgeous whole hurt one another.

Peeking from between her mane, urSan looks up to her standing other. “I know of the other two, but how is this councilor? I have heard that name elsewhere. “

        “you might know her as ‘snow,’ though i don’t believe you’ve met. till recently, she’s had little reason to leave the castle’s cramped laboratory, poor dear,” she replies with a nonchalant flourish of her remaining hand, colorful feathers still flared from her avian-like preening. “she was the Emperor’s right hand, she was, until skekSil stole her seat. ah, but don’t let that fool you. she’s been slaying the garthim in droves.” 

she offers her other her hand, so that they may walk together, if she so wishes. “and i sincerely doubt your presence, as captivating as it is, be enough to soften the looks of the drenchen. but as I said, my Sifa will give you a warm welcome.”

“It’s no loose end, I’m afraid,” she admits wearily.

This is news she wasn’t sure she’d ever live to report to anyone, and she doesn’t exactly relish the chance to do so. Still… the truth must finally out. She gathers the words to speak it as if they’ve been misplaced somewhere. Bit by bit, she finds them.

“I thought I knew what awaited me at the Castle of the Crystal… I was half right. Like so many before me- and so many after-” pain flashes across her face at that particular blur of memories, and she pauses for just a moment- “I was taken to the laboratory, and strapped into the machine, and turned toward the Darkened heart of Thra. And I felt my living essence leaving me. Even now I struggle to describe what that feels like. It’s like bleeding out, or feeling your strength ebb away during a long sickness, or falling into such deep despair that you begin to lose yourself, only it’s so much worse than any of those things. Even all of them at once. It’s pulled out of you with such force. … I don’t think it feels like dying, though. More like a mockery of dying.”

Her eyes are far away. She has gotten carried away with her thoughts, and forgets for several seconds that she has a tale to finish telling. A few blinks, and she continues on.

“I knew what had happened to the Vapran girl. I knew well enough how it was supposed to end. I wondered what it would feel like… and what would come after. But I never found out. Instead… I assisted the Scientist in perfecting the draining process. Understanding it more fully. I was allowed to recover… and then I was drained again. And again. You get the idea; I never bothered counting,” she says with a shrug.

“With enough pulled out of me, I was left hovering just above the threshold of insensible. As if I barely inhabited my own body. As if there was barely enough of me left to inhabit it. It’s a hideous feeling. Worse, though, is that while I was in that state, my will was utterly gone… and that has implications I do not like to think about.”

She sighs deeply and passes her hands over her face.

“Horrors fold in upon themselves and create still new horrors.”

       the more kana speaks of the horrors of the castle, the more skekSa’s blood boils within her with hatred. she’s never been fond of the castle-dwellers nor the way they lord their authority over the once-free peoples of thra. she’d attempted to defy them at every turn, stealing back sifan tithes and haranguing the pompous lords whenever they dared come to her clan for a census. but this is something unforgivable- something far more cruel and devious than even the makrak and gruenak massacres, for this is further torturing the crystal and stealing the lifeblood of thra’s creatures. this is preventing the gelfling from rejoining their mother when they die.

the captain’s red eyes shine with anger, like the flaring flames of a bonfire. and she briefly feels the acrid sting of disgust at herself. to think, she would have led the sifa to other shores. such would only be delaying the inevitable, as kylan made her see. and besides, who are the sifa? a hodge-podge of all clans. and she would have abandoned the rest.

the creature she was before would never have even dreamed of such cowardice.

“horrors, aye,” she hisses between her clenched teeth. “and more will we see in the coming unum. but i promise you this, kana. i won’t rest until the scientist is dead and that decrepit castle comes crumbling down. mark me, this won’t be stood for. i’ll storm into the throne room myself if i have to.”

she has suspected some of this ages before; the far-dreamers have long been warning of a chance, either an end or a beginning. even the disgraced councilor has vaguely hinted as to the depravity of the court. skekSa perchance thinks she spies the draining too in her wan features and listless gaze, but has the scientist no longer any decency? to repeatedly experiment on gelfling and expose them to thra’s darkened heart?

with a sigh, skekSa returns her attention to the sifan. “poor, brave kana. thank thra that you’ve returned to us, at least. us sifa’ll need all what can be spared. i hear dark tidings of an army what’s being made in lieu of the arathim. rian and his allies stood against skekSo, but he won’t take that lying down. no, indeed. they’re planning something.”

The wink causes her to shake her head fondly, unable to cease grinning. Her other halve’s words ring true, because for all of urSan’s denial of being as dull and passive as the other urRu, those very same traits still rear their annoying heads. To swim in the sea was her passion, to draw her maps was her past time, both never calling for company. Even as she lit the lanterns in the dark of night, urSan was a solitary figure under the sisters’ gaze. 

“ Aye, some habits are unshakable, but I’d far enjoy ‘fun’ if that did not involve our impulsive nature taking over….alas, that does not seem likely in our future. “ No need to be a hypocrite. 

With more force than necessary she presses against her Skeksis’ forehead, breathing in her pensive words and soft voice (an unguarded act that urSan fancies she see’s more often then anyone else). Her dark eyes scrunch up, a breathless chuckle gently shaking her shoulders. 

“ Of course I meant it, every word, I am not one to lie. It is not the urRu way. “ 

And she raises her upper hands to cup skekSa’s face, digging her blunt nails under feathers, and firmly holding her beloved’s face in place. 

“ Try as I might, even beyond our conjoining under the conjunction, I need you as well. For I am the sea that pulls your ship to new shores, and you are my ship that eases my ever-flowing waves. “ 

Her hands gives The Mariner’s head a slight turn away, and chastely presses her lips to the revealed cheek. A simple gesture to an outsider’s eyes, yet it holds the brilliance of the stars above  in it’s intentions. When she pulls back, urSan pushes away, using her lower hand and arm to pull herself to sit on the edge where the land is.

“ Now, I have to say, I am quite hungry after all that has happened. “

        she was the ship, and urSan was the sea. such was certainly an apt comparison. despite all the wonders she had seen outside of the skarith region, she always found herself returning to her first love. it was a craving, a yearning, an almost physiological need, for without the sea, and without urSan, she feared that she would shrivel up and die.

another contented trill welled in her throat as her bonded other pressed her forehead against her own, and despite the tender intimacy of the moment, skekSa couldn’t help but laugh. i am not one lie. it is not the urRu way. “i might’ve never been to the valley o’ the fossils, but i share your thoughts. even the magnanimous urSu’d tell a few lies to keep others in line. he’s still skekSo’s other half. as for you, i think you’d care too much to lie to me. ’s why i love you.”

colored hues fluttered, and another bird-like song erupted at her other’s kiss. still glowing from the gesture of affection, she waded onto the shore, giving her head an avian shake in order to dislodge more water droplets. “i only had some fire dust on me, ’n i’m sure that’s all gone bad since someone decided to dunk me.” she shot urSan a faux glare. “but if it’s grub you’re after, the sifan camp isn’t far. i’m sure they’re preparing for supper.”

AS  THE  MARINER  tells  of  the  views  the  other  gelfling  have  assumed  of  the  sifa  ,  kylan  cannot  help  but  be  reminded  of  the  spriton  ──  close  -  minded  and  ignorant  ,  is  what  they  are  ──  speaking  without  knowing  of  anyone  who  was  different  from  them  ,  and  happy  to  dwell  in  their  miserable  ignorance  to  boot  .  he  remembers  how  much  he  had  to  bit  his  tongue  whenever  they  spoke  ill  of  other  clans  ,  whenever  maudra  mera  herself  would  speak  ill  of  other  clans  ,  as  if  she  did  not  regularly  converse  with  the  other  maudras  when  necessary  .  ‘twas  naught  but  falsehood  in  the  eyes  of  the  song  -  teller  …  but  no  one  in  his  clan would  listen  to  someone  like  him  ──  such  was  the  reality  of  it  all  ,  that  when  other  gelfling  could  not  categorize  you  ,  you  were  tossed  aside  .  and  now  they  lived  in  a  world  where  gelfling  were  content  to  invent  others  but  never  truly  see  them  .  it  was  ──  and  is  ──  despicable  .

❝  the  sifa  see  beyond  race  when  they  welcome  gelfling  to  their  clan  .  i  have  many  woes  ,  skeksa  .  among  them  is  never  being  able  to  know  what  it  was  like  to  live  with  them  .  those  who  were  different  had  a  place  there  ,  free  from  the  burdens  i  endured  as  a  childling  ,  ❞  he  says  ,  and  brings  his  earthy  gaze  back  up  to  the  beautiful  azure  skeksis  . he  had  already  noticed  this  when  first  they  crossed  paths  ,  but  compared  to  the  other  skeksis  ,  skeksa  did  not  seem  stricken  with  the  same  decay  that  plagued  others  .  her  feathers  are  like  the  sea  itself  ,  and  he  has  always  wondered  why  . how  .  ❝  i  suppose  i  envy  you  ,  skeksa  .  you  were  well  loved  .  perhaps  that  is  why  i  could  not  bear  to  see  you  destroy  it  all  the  way  you  did  .  if  i  had  what  you  had  …  ❞  the  song  -  teller  trails  off   as  he  shakes  his  head  ,  as  if  trying  banish  an  intruding  thought  from  his  mind  .

to  no  avail  .  the  truth  is  ,  skeksa’s  mention  of  his  friend  haunts  him  enough  to  turn  his  stomach  in  knots  .  a  spark  of  hope  ignites  at  her  words  just  as  anxieties  crop  up  to  swallow  it  ,  and  he  nearly  stops  in  his  steps   .  naia  …  when  he  returns  to  stone  -   in  -  the  -  wood  with  a  skeksis  in  tow  she  will  not  understand  him  ,  and  neither  will  the  drenchen  whose  home  was  threatened  by  the  mariner  .  it’s  true  that  they  will  not  kill  her  ,  just  as  the  gelfling  did  not  kill  skeklach  if  not  to  spare  their  mystic  half  …  but  even  now  they  argue  amongst  themselves  on  what  to  do  with  a  skeksis  once  their  condition  is  stable  .  other  argue  if  they  should  be  helping  at  all  .  will  this  decision  he  has  made  fracture  the  gelfling  further  ?  the  thought  provokes  a  hard  swallow  from  the  small  spriton  .

❝  i   can  only  hope  you  are  right  .  i  want  to  believe  in  those  words  more  than  anything  ,  ❞  he  finally  says  ,  before  his  large  ears  perk  at  the  directions  they  are  to  take  ,  and  then  droop  sheepishly  the  moment  she  mentions  the  time  he  sang  in  cera  -  na  for  amri  .  he  doesn’t  like  the  idea  of  performing  in  front  of  strangers  …  sami  thicket’s  lot  was  easy  because  it  became  tradition  for  him  to  tell  a  tale  after  supper  ──  but  amri  insisted  ,  and  so  found  himself  inclined  to  oblige  him  .  ❝  i  …  would  not  say  you  were  robbed  per  se   …  ❞  comes  the  bashful  response  ,  accompanied  by  the  faint  blush  of  freckled  cheeks  .  despite  the  applause  he  got  from   the  sifa  that  day  ,  he  has  never  thought  wonders  of  his  song  -  telling  .

         although the spriton’s piercing words initially picked at her already wounded pride, she now is grateful for the steeling clarity and perspective that they brought, even if it is morphing her anger into a gnawing guilt. aye, she knows she was luckier than most. she had her own ship and thousands of sea-farers who would face the depths for their love of her. she’d had wives and children, adopted by her with thra’s blessings. she even had a bonded with the beautifully frustrating other half of her soul. so close were they that they could speak in thought alone— at least, until skekSa was ignored. she’d had so much over her long life, and what did kylan have?

judgment from the spriton. and perhaps even the stonewood, for being a soft-hearted half-breed. in that moment, she too wishes that kylan was born to, or at least ran away to join, the sifa.

his council would have saved her from so much heartache.

“well, despite your past, my lad, you’re right well loved now. i’ve seen the bond twixt you and naia. not all soul-halves become lovers, you know.”

anxiety of her own has been creeping into her bosom. she had unforgivably wounded the drenchen; it’d take several generations before any of them even thought about trusting her, and here kylan is, aiding and abetting the beast that stabbed the prince and maudra and burned the great smerth. naia is a brash thing. skekSa knows she won’t take this kindly, but she hopes that she wouldn’t allow her anger to overflow onto her friend.

skekSa doesn’t know if she can stomach that.