whomst

My dearest little one, my dearest Cali, my Hot Pocket, my little calico chimera - thank you for letting me spend your short life with you. You loved me, and so I was loved. I wish I could've given you a working heart, or liver, or whatever you needed. I wish you were bigger so the vets could do proper tests on you. I wish it wasn't so sudden so I could've fed you cheese and chips and anything you wanted. I wish I at least had the foresight to take more pictures to remember you by. Most of all I wish you could've lived into adulthood. But as much as I wish, I am equally grateful. You are a wonderful little soul, and I'm so lucky I was blessed with your love, even for a short while. I bottle fed you when you were little, cleaned your eyes, rubbed your little butt so you'd poop, I held you every night when you were older and mixed your wet food with hot water, so it'd be warm. I played with you, I scratched your chin while you suckled on my finger (after dinner, and before bed. You loved being held, even after we got you your heating pad. When you were too big to keep in the tote, and the heating pad was on the floor, you'd often climb my bed to cuddle. Cry when my hands were cold and needed to be heated up before I held you.). I cherish every moment. You helped me get through one of the hardest things I've ever been through. You are so loved. Not just by me - by your sister, my mother, my father, my boyfriend... Even Tiny was so gentle with you, she'd groom you so tenderly. I wish I could tell you all of this. I hope you knew you were loved while you were here.