SirWonkaa

Janeway: Captain’s Log: I’m going to go LARP as a Victorian governess before I cut a bitch.

Miss Templeton: Welcome to Lord Burleigh’s house. If you mess with him I will kill you. Janeway: That's fine. I can kill you with the “delete program” command. Burleigh: Hello. My kids are feral and disturbed. Fix them. Also don’t go to the fourth floor. Ever. Janeway: Totally not ominous.

Kim: Captain, Chakotay and Tuvok are dying. Again. Janeway: Sigh. End holonovel. Back to real problems.

Doctor: I think the aliens meant to empty Chakotay's recycling bin and ended up deleting everything Doctor: Why am I stuck in a partial remake of Spock's Brain? Janeway: Why did you give him the sexy, sparkly blanket? Doctor: ...I'm trying to brighten up your day?

Tuvok (waking up): We were attacked by a ship in a dark matter nebula. Janeway: Why? Tuvok: Unknown. I was unconscious. Commander Chakotay was… even more unconscious.

Paris: Captain, the ship keeps changing course and it wasn’t me. Kim: The computer says it was you. Paris: She's lying!

Torres: Captain, I didn’t shut down the warp core. Janeway: Well someone did, and it was definitely you. Torres: No I fucking didn't!

Janeway: This ship is becoming a gaslighting simulator.

Doctor: Something used Mr Paris and Ms Torres' brains like rental cars. Janeway: So we have a car-pooling alien onboard? Tuvok: Correct. Paris: Can it hop into the Doctor? Doctor: I’m holographic, Lieutenant. I am immune to possession and nonsense. Janeway: Doctor, congratulations. You’re now the failsafe commander of Voyager. Doctor: I dislike this. Janeway: If any of us act weird, you override us. Doctor: I already override you emotionally. Paris: I suddenly feel safer.

Kes: Captain, I sense an alien presence. It’s weird. It’s everywhere, and accompanied by an ominous pan pipe leitmotif. Janeway: Great. Love that for us. Tuvok: I can help her focus with a mind‑meld. Kes: Sure, let’s do psychic teamwork. Janeway: Proceed. Try not to explode anything.

Kes and Tuvok: *unconscious* Kim: Oh good. The alien’s speedrunning the crew.

Tuvok: We were attacked again. Same weird energy. Paris: Let’s scan the whole ship at once. Kim, staring into the void: Tuvok: I must end Mr. Kim. Kim: WHAT DID I DO?!

Neelix: Doctor, Ensign Parsons is possessed. Doctor: Neelix, a man suddenly ordering a frappe is not evidence of alien possession.

Janeway: Kes was physically attacked. Not energy‑zapped. Tuvok: I did nothing. Maybe it was Vorik? Janeway: I know Vorik can be special, but in this instance I think the alien took you for a test drive Tuvok, pouting: Fine, scan me then. Janeway: Computer, activate the Doctor. Computer: No. Janeway: …No? Computer: He’s been attacked by ransomware. Tuvok: The alien wants the command codes back in a humanoid so he can possess them.

Janeway: It wants me then, oh, joy. Fuck this whole quadrant. Let’s split the codes before someone puppets me like a marionette. Janeway: Crew, the Doctor’s offline. We’re dividing command codes— Janeway: *Decks Tuvok* Tuvok: She’s the alien! Kill her! I mean, stun her! Tuvok: *shoots everyone* Tuvok: That was much easier

Torres: Captain, we have another sentient nebula on our hands. This one likes to delete brains. Janeway: So Tuvok's pants are on fire? Torres: Alien‑possessed Tuvok lied. Tuvok: No I didn't, look at these sensor readings Janeway: That looks like a lot of fake news to me Tuvok, draws phaser: I'm in charge, the captain is possessed. I’m taking command. Kim: With all due respect sir, no.

Durst: We’re entering the nebula Kim: Captain, energy beings incoming. Durst: I just had expositionary dialogue. Does this mean I'm not a redshirt anymore?

Tuvok (alien voice): We are the Komar. All your base are belong to us.

B'Elanna: I think I just got alien‑hijacked. I ejected the warp core. Paris: How?! The alien’s in Tuvok! Kim: Unless… there are two aliens. Janeway: Computer, who authorised the warp core ejection? Computer: The brain dead wonder in sickbay did.

Neelix: Captain, I think I was possessed. I rearranged Chakotay’s weird cloth and rock thing. Janeway: Put it on screen. Paris: It’s a map. Janeway: How the fuck you work that one out? Paris: It's here in the script Janeway: Paris: …The stones match the planetoids?

Durst: Shields failing! I'm officially a mauve shirt! Kim: We’re clear! The aliens aren’t pursuing!

Janeway: I’ll just let my entire sense of agency get hijacked by my future self, who apparently has no qualms about rewriting my life choices. Meanwhile I’ll stand politely in the corner while my surrogate daughter and the man I’ve been making heart‑eyes at for seven seasons have a catastrophically ill‑advised hook‑up. Leadership!

Chakotay: I’ll suddenly transform into a pushy, impatient misogynist because the writers forgot who I was and needed a romance plot. I’ll pursue a woman who is emotionally about seventeen and we'll call it character development.

Tuvok: I’ll have a terminal illness introduced purely for shock value, and then I’ll just… sit here. Logical.

B’Elanna: I’ll have a baby and call it a day. No final arc, no closure. Just contractions.

Tom: I’ll miss my daughter’s birth. You won’t even get to see me hold her. Thanks for watching Voyager!

Harry: Who am I? Why am I here? Why did I never get promoted? Tune in never.

Seven: I’ll abandon my entire journey toward individuality because apparently I need a man to validate my humanity. And I’ll let him call the shots like a perfectly submissive little lady because that’s what real women do, apparently.

The Doctor: I’ll act pathetic and mopey because Seven rejected me. Seven’s autonomy? Never heard of her.

Re-creating my first webcomic from 12 years ago, "Hair Expectations vs Reality."

I can't help but feel all kinds of emotions after re-visiting the original comic: the one that started it all. A lot has changed since then, and I feel so fortunate to still create art and tell stories for a living. Thanks for your support, and sticking around for so long ❤️

Check out the other versions:

2014 (OG)