Keep DrivingĀ Ā -Ā Ā Tommy Hilding , 2019
Swedish, b.1954 -
Oil on canvas, 36 x 40 cm.

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Keep DrivingĀ Ā -Ā Ā Tommy Hilding , 2019
Swedish, b.1954 -
Oil on canvas, 36 x 40 cm.

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This is how they survive. You must know this. You're too smart not to know this. They paint the world full of shadows and then tell their children to stay close to the light. Their light. Their reasons, their judgments. Because in the darkness, there be dragons. But it isn't true. We can prove that it isn't true. In the dark, there is discovery. There is... possibility. There is freedom in the dark once someone has illuminated it. And who has been so close to doing it as we are right now?
BLACK SAILS š“āā ļø January 25, 2014 - April 2, 2017.
I do love asoiaf modern aus where everything is more or less adapted for the 21st century Everybody Lives/Nobody Dies version of the books except for like, two or three storylines which are so crazy you literally can't make them coherent in a modern au. and those storylines are almost always lannisters and greyjoys.
it's like
Main asoiaf modern au plotline: robb got a concussion at rugby practice and jon drove him to the er despite robb insisting he's fine and jon needs to pick up arya and sansa from afterschool debate club anyway. there they encounter sansa's evil middle school crush joffrey who broke his brother's arm after forcing him to play chicken on their dad's motocycles, and their classmate dany, who tested into some college classes and is there with uni student quentyn, whose sister arianne gave them ride after one of dany's possibly-poisonous lizards bit quentyn while they were working on an environmental science project at the martell house. Cat recruits brienne, her favorite first-year associate and arya and bran's taekwondo instructor, to pick up the girls, and she ends up having to help ned break up a fight between cat, lysa, and stannis at the pta meeting that's happening at the same time.
lannisters subplot:
They told us, they told us children that if we spoke or coughed or moved an inch, that the U-boats would catch the vibrations through the hull and we would die in the drink right there in the hold. Three nights and two days we stayed quiet, a four-year-old and a five-and-a-half-year-old speaking with our eyes. So there's a little sob story. And once we were over, our uncle who was, so to speak, a character, well, they had a little money and they sent Logan away to a better school. And he hated it. He just hated it. He wasn't, he wasn't well. He was sick. And he mewed and he cried and in the end he got out and came home under his own steam. But when he got back, our little sister, she was a baby, but she was there by then. He always believed that he brought home the polio with him, which took her. I don't even know if that's true, but our aunt and uncle certainly did nothing to disabuse him of that notion. They let it lie with him. I loved him, I suppose, and I suppose some of you did too, in whatever way he would let us, and we could manage. But I can't help but say he has wrought the most terrible things. He was a man who has here and there drawn in the edges of the world, now and then darkened the skies a little, closed men's hearts, fed that dark flame in men, the hard, mean, hard relenting flame that keeps their hearths warm while another grows cold, their grain stashed while another goes hungry, and even has the temerity to tell that hard- funny, yes, funny- but hard joke about the man in the cold. You can get a little high, a little mighty when you're warm. Oh, yes. He gave away a few million of his billions, but he was not a generous man. He was mean, and he made but a mean estimation of the world, and he fed a certain kind of meagerness in men. Perhaps he had to, because he had a meagreness about him, and maybe I do about me too. I don't know. I try. I try. I don't know when, but sometime he decided not to try anymore, and it was a terrible shame.
Theon subplot:

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but like what was he supposed to do seriously. NOT push bran out of the window?
queen in chains.
Hannibal (2013-2015)
3x05 || 3x13
this week i read a compendium of interviews with Toni Morrison and there was this one excerpt that's had me on the verge of tears for days. let me see if i can find it online
from Toni Morrison on Love and Writing, a 1990 interview with Bill Moyers on PBS TV [x]
MOYERS: As I listen to you talk about the liberation of motherhood and love, I find all the more incredible Setheās willingness to kill her sonā
MORRISON:: Oh, yeah.
MOYERS: āRather than let the slavecatcher kidnap him. Was that a far-out figment of your imagination to make a dramatic point, or did you find in your research into the past there were mothers willing to do that?
MORRISON:: That was Margaret Garnerās story. There was a slave woman in Cincinnati named Margaret Garner who escaped from Kentucky; arrived in Cincinnati with her mother-in-law. The situation was a little different; I think she came with four others. And right after she got there, the man who owned her found her. And she ran out into the shed and tried to kill all her children, just like that. And she was about to bang oneās head against the wall when they stopped her. Now, she became a cause celebre for the Abolitionists, because; you see, they were trying to improve the situation a little bit and get her tried for murder, because that would have been a big coup, if they had gotten her tried for murder. Because it would assume that she had some responsibility over those children. But they were not successful. She was tried for the real crime, which was stolen property, and convicted and returned to that same man. But what struck me, because I didnāt want to know a great deal about her story because there would be no space for me to invent ā was that when they interviewed her, she was not a mad dog killer, she was this very calm, you know, in her 20s, woman. And all she said was, āThey will not live like that. They will not live like that.ā And her mother-in-law, who was a preacher, said, āI watched her do it, and I neither encouraged her nor discouraged her.ā So for them, it was a dilemma. This is a real dilemma. āShall I permit my children, who are my best thing, to live like I have lived, and I know thatās terrible, or to take them out?ā So she decided to kill them, and kill herself. And that was noble. That was the identification. She was saying: āIām a human being. These are my children. This script I am writing.ā
MOYERS: Could you have put your ā did you ever put yourself in her position, and askā
MORRISON:: In the writing of the book, yeah.
MOYERS: ācould I have done that to my three sons?
MORRISON:: I asked it a lot. As a matter of fact; the reason the character Beloved enters is because I couldnāt answer it. I felt just like Baby Suggs. I didnāt know whether I would do it or not. You hear stories of that in slavery and Holocaust situations, I mean, where women have got to figure it out fast, I mean really fast. So the only person I felt who had the right to ask her that question was the child she killed.
MOYERS: The child.
MORRISON:: And she can ask her: āWhat did you do that for? Who are you talking about? This is better? What do you know?ā Because I just ā it was, for me, an impossible decision. Someone gave me the line for it at one time, which I have found useful, is that it was the right thing to do, but she had no right to do it.
MOYERS: And youāve never answered it in your own case, āCould I do it?ā
MORRISON:: Iāve asked. I donāt know.
"the only person I felt who had the right to ask her that question was the child she killed" has been ringing in my head. there is no truer thing in the world.
āsupplemental: i feel iām being watched.ā

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Our scars can destroy us, even after the physical wounds have healed. But if we survive them, they can transform us. They can give us the power to endure, and the strength to fight.
THE BATMAN (2022) dir. Matt Reeves
āOlivia Gatwood, āWe All Got Burnt that Summerā from Life of the Party
"We had touched, in the only way we could touch. We left it at that."
M'lords! I know none of you remember Ser Arlan of Pennytree. But I was his squire. We served many of you. Ate at your tables. Slept in your halls. He was a good man. And he taught me how to be a knight. Not just sword and lance, but honor. A knight defends the innocent. That's-- that's all I did. I was not Ser Arlan's blood, but I have followed his example. As your sons will follow yours. Who will stand and fight with me?
ā A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms - 1.04 "Seven"
dunk and egg really does cover the best most interesting generation of targryens where they are just regular humans desperately clinging onto any veneer of of legitimacy before they inevitably succumb to the doomrot bloodcurse poisoning thatās been in them from birth.
Killing the boy and letting the king be born is itself an act of blood sacrifice. To say nothing of the fratricide and the suicide and the grotesque accidents and the cannibalism and the prophetic-avoidant alcoholism and the abomination and the self-immolation and and the final desperate calculus of summerhall and the blood in the mortars of the keep and the trees and the grass on which you are holding a shitty parking lot tourney and losing your fucking grip.

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Someone was talking quietly of lanternsābut loud enough to light my way.
prints here
Hamnet (2025) dir. ChloƩ Zhao