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beardedmrbean

how to commit to the bit properly

kisxmesoft

theshitpostcalligrapher

a lil tomato soup made from roast tomato, onion, garlic and bell pepper with a lil grill ches. regular marble cheddar, some farmers market truffle cheddar, and a lil pickle for the filling. bread is a sourdough pullman's loaf recipe of my own design

theshitpostcalligrapher

man it is SO funny that everyone's still cycling this post considering that the meal poisoned the shit out of me

turns out the bread i baked there had started to mold, the cheddar cheese had started to mold, and the chicken stock I used for the soup's best before date was over a year ago. I found all of this out a day or so later and I'm now still dealing with the gastroenteritis symptoms

theshitpostcalligrapher

everyone in here would have gotten poisoned if I'd brought this to the potluck, good to know

maudit

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filthyprotozoan

no one ever talks about gimli being not even slightly tempted by the ring. motherfucker had no hesitation just walked up with his axe and immediately tried to wreck it. obviously that didn’t work but like, the ring had zero visible effect on him. amazing… gold sickness in the line of durin WHOMST?? not in gimli son of gloin

moonward-bound

He wasn’t going to let himself be embarrassed in front of all these fucking ELVES

kelssiel

the ring: gimli son of gloin you can have your deepest desires if you just take me~

gimli: oh?!

elrond: the ring tempts all who come into contact with it

gimli: my deepest desire is to not look like a lil’bitch in front of all these fucking elves

segamascott

in a past life... we were both chavs... and i hit you with a folding chair... bruv....

luv...

banchie

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

teaboot

Names that are normal for old people but weird when you're a baby:

Bartholomew

Dolores

Norman

Harold

Magnolia

Names that are normal for babies but weird when you're old:

Maddison

Tanner

Skylar

Mckenzie

Logan

Names that are normal for old people and normal for babies:

Elizabeth

Mary

Michael

Finnegan

Peter

Names that are weird when you're a baby and weird when you're old:

Radish

Kerosene

Australopithecus

Anthill

Hegemony

Names that are weird when you're normal:

Balthazar

Romulus

Clandestia

Persephone

Kremulon

Names that are normal when you're weird:

Al

porcelain-rob0t

the european mind cannot comprehend the 48 oz dunkin bucket

derryderrydown

Excuse me while I look something up...

1.4 litres????

politenotice

interestingmistakes

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enbaluka-tokyo-drift

hotvampireadjacent

nostalgic-teddyy

Imagine the level of whimsy I could reach if I just had $5M in my bank account rn

venndaai

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

venndaai

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

fluorescentbrains

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

muffinlance

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

segamascott

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Anya is LIVE right now

FREE

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

ominous-signs

Every time I pass by this sign Im intrigued by it, and worried for tim.

shibainuoverload

Coco biting on a toy lightsaber, looks like he’s shooting his laser beam

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