Love Yours

It was my first day back at work after a month of leave. Due to the current struggle of having to readjust back to my normal routine, I didn’t get much sleep, hence I woke up late (like an hour late). Thankfully traffic was a breeze and to my surprise, playing catch up at work wasn't as stressful as I anticipated it to be.

I dread being back at the office. But at the same time, I’m thankful that I even have work to come back to. Good pay, flexible schedule, laid back boss, and I get along with my coworkers just fine. What more can I ask for in a job, at this age? But that’s where I begin to think... it’s still not enough. I guess that’s because I’m not quite where I want to be in my career just yet. So yes, as blessed and grateful as I am to have a job where I can pick my own schedule, have enough income to pay my own bills and still take time for vacation... still I yearn for something more. And while the position is not my concern, because it is right along the path of my major... I know there’s much more out there. I just have to be patient. 

Never settle. Even when you think you’re right where you want to be... it’s important to welcome change and be open to trying new things. Never stop exploring. I seek to always know more about anything and everything. I’ve learned that it’s what has lead me to find and learn more about myself and my journey in life. Listen to your heart. It can’t get anymore cliche than that, right? But when shit goes down, what’s the first thing we do? We trust in ourselves to make the next move. Only you know what your heart desires. But above all, trust in God. Because with all the things we want and need in life - only He can provide. Whether we want to believe this is true or not. Ultimately, He always decides. And His plan prevails over all. 

So. With everything I hope to achieve and accomplish this year - I pray He is with me every step of the way. And should it not go as planned, I pray for understanding and patience. With school, my career, my relationship, friends, family. Work hard, be patient, love unconditionally. I place all my trust onto Him. The best is yet to come. 

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I tried really hard not to jump on the wagon of wanting to create goals towards a better me for the new year. You know, all the basic bullshit that comes with comparing yourself to others. I’ve always been more about going with the flow and seeing where things will take me. But, allowing myself the time to reflect more about my life overall these past few YEARS, I’ve come to remember that at the end of the day, these goals aren’t meant for anyone but ourselves. No matter what it may be - I’m doing shit for myself and the betterment of my happiness. Of course I value those in my life. But you see the thing is, (and whether we want to admit this or not), the people in our lives are only along for the ride. For better or for worse. They’re not entitled to do anything for you, to be completely honest. And I guess it’s because they’ve got their own shit to worry about. These supportive and loving human beings we appreciate so much are there simply only to guide you, help you, and watch you grow. 

SO, with that being said - here’s a few things I look forward to in the new year and will accomplish because if you don’t know much about me yet... here’s a quick fun fact: I always get what I want. And I don't mean that to imply that I’m spoiled or entitled in such a way. But because I work hard to get it. I firmly believe this. May not be when I want it, but eventually it will come. It always does. 

Self improvements: 

Be more kind.

Be more patient.

Listen more to Jay lol if only he could see this. 

Slow down.

Say hello. 

Drink MORE water. 

Minimize my spending habits. Yeah, we all know that’ll never change. 

Continuing to value self love and happiness. I've come a very long way. And I gotta say, although it hasn’t always been beautiful - I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I am who I am, and that will always be enough. 

Travel Plans:

This. This is what keeps me motivated to really work hard for the future. Because when I think about my future... as much I do eventually want my own family, a nice house, all wheel drive, gas efficient (bc you know gas prices don't play nowadays) car, dadada - above all, what I want most in life is to travel. I picture myself taking on the world with the love of my life. God willing it’ll still be Jay 5, 10, 20, 50 years from now. Growing as one, experiencing life together and learning from all the beautiful things it has to provide. When all is done, that’s when I’ll truly be ready to go on with the next step. Until then, the American Dream can wait. 

I won't go into detail as to what my travel plans entail this year, there’s too many to list and this Benadryl is finally kicking in. But I’m very much ready and excited for my next adventure. 

Welp, the comfort of my bed is calling. Good night.