#144am

I tried really hard not to jump on the wagon of wanting to create goals towards a better me for the new year. You know, all the basic bullshit that comes with comparing yourself to others. I’ve always been more about going with the flow and seeing where things will take me. But, allowing myself the time to reflect more about my life overall these past few YEARS, I’ve come to remember that at the end of the day, these goals aren’t meant for anyone but ourselves. No matter what it may be - I’m doing shit for myself and the betterment of my happiness. Of course I value those in my life. But you see the thing is, (and whether we want to admit this or not), the people in our lives are only along for the ride. For better or for worse. They’re not entitled to do anything for you, to be completely honest. And I guess it’s because they’ve got their own shit to worry about. These supportive and loving human beings we appreciate so much are there simply only to guide you, help you, and watch you grow. 

SO, with that being said - here’s a few things I look forward to in the new year and will accomplish because if you don’t know much about me yet... here’s a quick fun fact: I always get what I want. And I don't mean that to imply that I’m spoiled or entitled in such a way. But because I work hard to get it. I firmly believe this. May not be when I want it, but eventually it will come. It always does. 

Self improvements: 

Be more kind.

Be more patient.

Listen more to Jay lol if only he could see this. 

Slow down.

Say hello. 

Drink MORE water. 

Minimize my spending habits. Yeah, we all know that’ll never change. 

Continuing to value self love and happiness. I've come a very long way. And I gotta say, although it hasn’t always been beautiful - I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I am who I am, and that will always be enough. 

Travel Plans:

This. This is what keeps me motivated to really work hard for the future. Because when I think about my future... as much I do eventually want my own family, a nice house, all wheel drive, gas efficient (bc you know gas prices don't play nowadays) car, dadada - above all, what I want most in life is to travel. I picture myself taking on the world with the love of my life. God willing it’ll still be Jay 5, 10, 20, 50 years from now. Growing as one, experiencing life together and learning from all the beautiful things it has to provide. When all is done, that’s when I’ll truly be ready to go on with the next step. Until then, the American Dream can wait. 

I won't go into detail as to what my travel plans entail this year, there’s too many to list and this Benadryl is finally kicking in. But I’m very much ready and excited for my next adventure. 

Welp, the comfort of my bed is calling. Good night.