#untilwemeetagain

And now he had to make more decisions, more consequential choices that would rupture more than just the family, but him. What he had to do wasn’t easy, it never fucking was.

He thought of it and tried drowning the growing guilt with whiskey. Even his brothers attempted to steer him away from the bottle but they couldn’t.

It was breaking their brother.

And more importantly, it would break his wife.

Eden Shelby.

The very woman who rushed into the room, with a stack of papers in her grip and an excited smile on her face. Lizzie was behind her, as was Polly.

“Sorry love for bursting in,” She rushed out, “but Tommy look. It’s done. Thank fuck. Look love, two years and it’s done. I was just telling…” she rambled when she settled down the pages in front of him, shooting smiles to her in-laws who couldn’t look at her. She tilted her head to the side when she noticed her husband’s vacant stare and hand his hand gripping onto his glass, “what’s wrong?”

“Pol shut the door,” Tommy instructed.

The woman made no effort to do so.

Eden’s brow arched, “Thomas?”

“Shut the door, Aunt Pol.” John begrudgingly urged.

Eden huffed, “What’s the matter? I know two years is quite some time but I was busy. We all are all the fuckin’ time —“

“Two years, Tom,” John stated, heatedly staring at his brother.

Tommy shot him a glare, “Shut up John.”

“That’s great Edie. Really great.” Arthur weakly praised his sister in law.

Polly stood, arms folded as she looked between her nephews, all appeared to be concealing something. But what, she didn’t know. But boy was she determined to find out.

Eden’s excitement faltered, “Thank you Arthur, at least one of you appreciates it.” She paused, “Thomas?”

Tommy’s gaze snapped toward her, he swallowed more of his drink as he did. Eden had already been shot because of the Italians. In the arm which affected her being unable to type let alone pick up a pen. And she caught an infection briefly. Which caused her mind to play tricks on her, yet writing brought her back. It made everything make sense to her. Especially her role in the family, as mother two pretty girls. They’re pretty girls. His wife.

His fucking wife.

Tommy’s eyes darted over to his aunt, “I said shut the door, Pol. And Lizzie get out.”

The women were startled.

“Thomas,” Eden said warningly.

“It’s alright,” Lizzie let the door shut behind her.

Tommy cleared his throat, and stood from his seat, “I need to talk to my wife.”

“Then talk.” Eden stiffly motioned. “Why do you look like that? What’s wrong? Is it those coppers again? We sorted things with the Russians, why does everyone look like someone shot a horse?”

Tommy leaned over the table, his eyes didn’t leave hers, “Listen Edie, it was out my hands.”

His brothers shifted in their seats, earning a sceptical look from their aunt.

“What was?” Eden asked.

Tommy continued, “I couldn’t get out of it.”

“Couldn’t get out of what Thomas?” Eden’s tone was more impatient.

He repeated, “It was out of my hands.”

“What fucking was?!” She raised her voice.

Arthur fumbled his hands and muttered, “She might need a drink.”

“So what, she can smash it over his face?” John sounded almost excited about the prospect. "I know I fuckin' wood."

“Will someone just tell me what’s wrong?!” Eden snapped, glancing between the men.

Polly moved forward, “Yes, just spit it out.”

“I made a deal.” Tommy declared, his palms grew sweaty on the table.

So he pulled them back. He stood, not tall, only stiff under his wife’s uncertain gaze.

Eden shrugged, “So?”

“You and your fucking deals Thomas. More Russian’s?” Polly had to ask.

Tommy answered, “Nor the Russians. The Calvary.”

“Coppers? What deal did you make with the coppers.” Eden felt a wave of nausea wash over her. “What fucking deal?”

“I need to protect my family. I need to protect you but I had to make a choice and I chose.” Tommy said, rounding the table. “To protect you because I swore to always protect you. To protect Inara and little Ines. I had to do what I did or I’d lose you. And I can’t lose you.” Not like I almost did.

Eden’s desperate gaze darted over his nearly stoic face. He was breaking down. The truth was peeking through the cracks and it drove her a few steps backwards.

“What… what did you do? Just say it.” Her voice pleaded. “Please you’re scaring me.”

Tommy averted his eyes, they trailed away from her confusion and his aunt’s dread. They landed on the piles of paper stacking on the corner of his desk. The piles and piles of paper. All the stories and metaphors between the words, the sentences that told more than they should. They spoke too much and had to go.

It had to go… to protect the family.

“It was you or your book and I chose you.” He uttered, confusing her further.

Eden was unsure if she misheard, “What? My book. What does that have to do with anything?”

“Words have power Edie, you know that. You even taught me that.” Tommy murmured, not daring to look at her.

“Holy Jesus,” Polly whispered to herself when she realised what had to happen.

He continued, “They know your pseudonym, they know who you are. And they know they can’t have a black woman have the reach you have. They can’t let your light shine through this fuckin’ fog.”

Eden blinked rapidly, “What are you saying, Tommy?”

“I’m sorry.” Only then did he stare at her, eyes softening and face tightening.

She shook her head in disbelief, “You’re what?”

“That book needs to go,” Tommy said, more firmly.

She scoffed. “No, it doesn’t.”

Eden stumbled forward.

Guilt settled on Arthur and John’s faces, when they rose to their feet, blocking the path of the book and ceasing the arguments from Eden’s mouth. Polly stood to the side, with her hand covering her mouth, as she watched on.

Tears stung in Eden’s eyes.

Writing was her passion. It was her voice, her power. Outside of this family, she had something that was for her. A sense of agency regardless of the name she had to use to gain traction. It was hers.

It was her voice.

Tommy knew that.

But their enemies knew that too.

And so her voice got lodged in her throat when her husband picked up her book. Her mouth opened but screams couldn’t be heard when John and Arthur gently yet firmly tugged her back.

Tugged her so she could reach out, not when Tommy scrambled to pick up her pages and pages of work. Not even in when his feet stomped over to the mantle piece where the fire simmered. Not when she clawed at their arms when her husband allowed two years were of passion being burnt to a crisp.

Polly stood in shock, frozen she was. She couldn’t have predicted this. She knew from the beginning Tommy could potentially hurt Eden. But there would be ways back from his discrepancies. But this… he had truly fucked up.

Her eyes briefly shut at the wail ripping through Eden’s mouth.

And with her remaining strength, Eden tugged out of the men’s grip and fell to the floor, eyes filled with pain and tears as they watched each piece of paper curl and turn to ashes.

“Two years Tom.” John accused his brother who turned away and picked up another glass of whiskey. “Look what you’ve done!” He screamed as if to relieve himself of the guilt he felt.

Arthur conflicted on whether to help Eden up but Polly’s scolding gaze forced him to back away. His aunt attempted to aid Eden but she couldn’t move.

There was no helping her. Not like this.

“Look at her!” John’s yell drew Tommy’s attention. “Writing was all she knew, all she had and look what you’ve done!”

“I think that’s enough,” it was far from it, Polly knew, sending Tommy a withering glare when Eden’s throat grew hoarse and hallow. “I need to get her out of here. Away from the three of you and your foolish deals and callousness.”

“It was her or the book,” Tommy whispered.

Polly scoffed, “Sod off Thomas.”

“It was her or the book!” He screamed, watching as his aunt forced his wife off of the floor.

“C’mon love.” Polly ushered her toward the door.

“It was you or the book Edie, I know what I’m picking every time.” Tommy stumbled forward.

Eden didn’t turn to look at him, she could hardly process everything around her. She could just recall the stench of burnt paper.

Polly pulled open the door and called out.

“Francis, take her back to her room.”

“Yes Mrs Grey,” the maid quickly complied, keeping a from yet gentle grip on the fragile woman.

Tommy called out “Edie, love.”

Polly forced the office door shut and fiercely turned to her nephew.

Johnny humourless laughed, “You’ve really lost the plot.”

“Fuck off.” Tommy lunged at him.

“You fuckin’ what?!”

Arthur targeted to break them up. “Enough, enough.”

“She was comin’ in her to tell you more than just about that fuckin’ book.” Polly’s voice pierced through their angst. “You may have one way to salvage this. You’ve taken her livelihood but given her somethin’ else. Another Shelby.”

And just like the brother’s, lost it all of again.

a/n:

guys this took place before the big arrest, at least a few hours before.

yes, this led to the deterioration of eden’s mind.