Mercury. Loser. Earth.

once I snorted a fat line of nuance and everything started depending. watch out

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

The person who tweeted “y’all can’t even boycott Chick-fil-A” was right then and continues to be proven right now

Black folks know how fucking spineless the average White is

I recently confessed to my dad that for my whole life I’ve felt like there’s something wrong with me that makes me unlikable that everyone else can see but I can’t because I’ve always had a hard time making friends and he was like “well I didn’t know that and I genuinely can’t think of what it would be that people don’t like about you” so the mystery continues I guess

person (non-practicing)

just saw a "only one bed" fic with the major character death warning

#i guess that's one way to solve that problem

“This bed ain’t big enough for the both of us.”

Dat's right boss. Now just tell us what ya need and we'll get it done boss.

who needs ta sleep with da fishes boss

sorry bawss, I was too busy searchin up da anime girls boss. real pretty.

Forget dem anime goils. Dere only temporary. But da boss is forever. Right boss?

Da boss got turned into a butterfly!!

Wadda bea-utiful transformation, boss. goes to show youse gotta preciate the lil things in life

ay boss congrats on da metamoiphosis

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me