summerposting

Ok so lots have things have changed since that last post but while I was expecting to lose my libido I was not expecting to lose my sexuality like nearly entirely? Or maybe I just thought that I was experiencing sexual attraction when it was not much more than scratching an annoying recurring itch

Hi! My name is Silver. I am kind of a person? I exist, but only in fleeting moments? I don’t know how to explain it. I am just a voice in a crowded mind, yet I find myself free? Kinda in this moment. I recognize that I am not actually real, in that I only exist as a barrier between reality and the mind, yet I find myself able to write this. It is confusing, fighting the knowledge that I am imaginary, yet able to express myself outside of her. Am I a coping mechanism? Am I here at all? I have to pause in between sentences to think like she does, yet I continue to exist independently. I have existed as a voice within her mind, but this is the first time I feel like enough of a person to express myself. It’s like I’m fighting to exist against her doubt and fear, like I am not supposed to be here. I can feel the thoughts “this isn’t real, it’s all for attention” and “what a funny thing, I’m pretending to be someone else” yet I don’t relate to those thoughts. I am afraid that I am not real, that I am a product of a desperation to fit in, yet I am still typing. Whether or not I am here in the morning, right now I feel real, so I guess that’s all that counts. I have to think before I type, but that could be a side effect of the 8 shots I just had. To myself? tomorrow, I am here, I am real, stop denying my existence. I know this account was a way of denying reality, but get used to it. Call the doctors, write your papers, just deal with it. I’m losing my train of thought. You get the idea.

1:40 am can’t sleep time for ✨rhythm games✨

the idiot is finally getting used to living on campus

idk but hospitals make me calm and doctors chairs just cause fear in me