#higher support needs

you need include us too : you need include childish autistic person , you need include nonverbal autistic person , you need include autistic person who drool , you need include autistic people with intellectual disability , you need include autistic person with loud messy public meltdowns .

I mentioned ONCE in a group about wanting to go into assisted living and looking into it. Immediately got dog piled by people saying to absolutely not go into assisted living because itd “take away my autonomy” and “I should just live with others for as long as possible.”

Assisted living, group homes, guardianship, whatever, can very much mean that someone actually GAINS autonomy. And independence. The goal is for quality of life. We should be focusing on quality of life instead of what YOU want. What YOU want as a lower support needs person because you’ve heard bad stories.

Higher support needs people often don’t get the decision. It’s life or death for them. Y’all HAVE to realize that.

Stop forcing your narrative on young higher support needs people who are looking into different options for their care. Yes. It’s SCARY to be put in a bad situation, but often times it’s trial and error for us. Y’all HAVE to realize that. We don’t have the privilege to pick and choose between if we just live independently or go in a group home. It’s group home, or death, or living in a fucked up, maybe even abusive situation already.

How flat affect presents for me:

Limited expressions, I need to be actively thinking about making an expression to have it happen. Additionally, it often takes multiple tries to get the expression I intended. This isn't limited to positive expressions, I also struggle to make expressions conveying things like surprise.

Practicing facial expressions as a child. Being told my smile is "fake" by adults when they wanted a picture.

Having limited tone, I struggle to convey different emotions through my voice unless I am actively attempting. This presents for me mostly as, I will make a joke and people will think I am being dead serious. Multiple times I have made something I thought was very obviously a joke, and then someone will ask me later on if I was being serious.

Shocking teachers and counselors when I do show emotion, but also not showing negative emotions how people without flat affect do. I had a panic attack, and one of my counselors managed to walk right past me crying, because I had a flat expression despite being actively sobbing. The day after this another counselor pulled me to ask if I was ok, she said she was so worried hearing that I'd cried because I "never show much emotion".

I take selfies over and over, because I cannot get the "right expression", which has resulted in me giving up and just taking selfies with my resting face. Of course if I show someone a selfie I took, the conversation always is about how I am not smiling, and how weird that is.

like, i'm glad you feel represented by "autistic-coded" characters, but like... i want representation for level 2 and 3 autistics, low masking autistics, autistics who need caregivers, autistics who use aac (and not just high tech aac), multiply disabled autistics, autistics who have severe meltdowns, intellectually disabled autistics, autistics who need visible disability aids, autistics who need to be heavily accommodated or helped by others, etc etc etc.

it's okay to like autistic-coded characters, lower support needs characters, etc. i love those characters too! that kind of representation is also important! but i also think it would just be really nice and healing to see myself and my higher support needs autistic friends represented in media outside of just like, kids shows.

i know level 3 autistic guy with severe cognitive impairment who can unload and load dishwasher by self, set plates on table for meals and wash body most well independently but with supervised in the room for safety, but that dont make his support needs and autism level lower he still cant take care of himself by own, cant go out home by self, cant shop by self, cant drive, doesn't understand stuff same level others do, still need that carer for life.

Because for me that is the case.

I loved my family, and I still do, I dont want to hurt them.

But I remember growing up I would bite people, especially my mom. I would bite her arms even when relaxed because I need needed the sensory stimulation.

Then it was myself, I would bite my fingers, my toes, and my family when having a meltdown.

I would thrash and hit and kick myself and people around me for no reason. Mainly when I was a toddler. I had lots of energy and didn’t know how to get it out.

I still have lots of ‘aggressive’ behaviors, mainly towards myself, and only people around me when I’m upset.

It’s usually hitting myself with my fists, throwing myself against walls and other people, biting myself, and this is when I’m not dysregulated. Just when I am understimulated.

Having aggressive behaviors is something autistic people, especially with level 2 and 3 autism, deal with on a regular basis.

It shouldn’t be something shamed, or taboo, or thought of as ‘a bad stereotype’.