Life amirite?

I'm at a :.|:; for words.

just remembered shows used to have 20-25 eps per season

this girl im seeing just called me “green bean”, forgetting that was the name of the pet rat i had whom i loved the most of all his brothers and whose death im still hung up on years later, and i feel like it gave me a glimpse into a brave new frontier of hornyposting

calling her mommy is normie, calling her daddy is played out, calling her by her dead son’s name is the wave of the future

today i took the worst photo of a loon one can possibly take while remaining identifiably a loon

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

OP are you telling me we got the death of Gică Petrescu before we got gta6

what's this 'wife' business? nobody calls him Prince-Consort Mario

if Bowser kidnapped my plumbing client, I would be saying “wahoo” as long as those hours were billable

HOW IS MY SISTER STRAIGHT UP CARRYING A GUZHENG?????

˙ʇɐqʇᴉnɹɟ ɐ ǝɯoɔǝq oʇ pǝpᴉɔǝp ǝʌ,I

licking you bee wanted your sweat. that second one was just a freak I think

I follow the "leave nothing but footprints take nothing but photos" rule of state/national parks yeah because conservation. But also because when I was 11 i read a short story about a girl who went to a museum and stole a bandage flake off a mummy on display with the mentality of "im just one person one piece won't be missed" then at night she was visited by the mummy and it plucked a single hair from her head and then the next night a different mummy took another hair and she realized that there were only so many pieces to her before there would be nothing left and that story was forever wedged in my brain. Anyways leave cool rocks where you find them or the mummies will get you

can we do something about the plague of glp ads EVERYWHERE on EVERY PUBLIC SURFACE