you suspect that there is something fundamentally wrong with your world. you cannot truly express yourself in anything but secret code. you possess a fearsome and forbidden power that balances you on a knife’s edge between agency and vulnerability. the bullying you experience due to your perceived and also real connection with a brutally oppressed minority is extreme. the adults perpetuate a cycle of horrific violence, even the seemingly decent ones, many due to their own internalized self-hatred. you will be burned to death if your secret is discovered. many before you have been. you obsess about this death. the fear controls everything that you and the people around you do.
but it is not wrong to have your secret. your powers grant you a modicum of freedom, a tantalizing breath of unstale air. the people around you have these hidden powers too. (but of course you are still more powerful.) they know things and they can help and you find camaraderie and friendship where before there was only despair. when things go wrong you band together. there is a small hope, even when everyone is closing in on you, and the cause seems to be utterly lost.
your suspicion that something is fundamentally wrong about your world is not only correct but actable upon. you invoke a deus ex machina who does not cure all your ills, but empowers you to cure all your ills. all you need is your natural talent. all you must do is express yourself in the best and strongest way you can, and that will save your world utterly. your universe will be transformed for the unimaginably better by doing the thing that you love to do. the evil will get their due and lead small powerless lives.
the fantasy is that you are right, and that you can do something about it, and that a godlike external force will validate your fears and help you save your world from the fundamental hatred of anyone different that lives in humans. that hatred is gone now. it was unreasonable to begin with. everyone is happy and loves you. your family is alive again and/or loves you now.
that’s pure fantasy, isn’t it? that the world you know is wrong can be so wholly changed by doing what you love. isn’t that fantasy?
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