b-read

where’s his fuckin oscar i swear to god

Isn’t it weird how you can actually feel the pain in your chest and stomach when something really hurts your feelings

This is actually because it activates your vagus nerve! Basically your body goes “we are so upset! We must be injured! Where???? On the inside guts! Those are confusing and hard to differentiate!!! Confusing guts are hurt!”

oh my god i really don’t wanna be the person to do this because i love uptown funk but it’s actually really really problematic…. like it’s awful and idk I feel so bad for liking it. I can’t really explain it that well but here is a detailed explanation. idk why we can’t just have nice things

i just loss so much respect for bruno wtf

this breaks my heart

Please fire me. I work at McDonald’s and last week I spent 15 minutes trying to explain to an old man they we do not sell hot dogs (McDogs as he claimed it) then he threatened to report me for “withholding products from him”!

hes from an alternate timeline

the McDogs man actually proves the multiverse theory

It was so awkward when I was walking home because I walked past a nursing home and like….I’m not old so….yea

It was so awkward when I was walking home because I walked past a river and like….I’m not a fish so….yea

It was so awkward when I was walking home because I walked past a car dealership and like….I’m not an automobile so….yea

It was so awkward when I was walking home because I was walking over the sewer the whole time and like….I’m not a piece of shit….yea

It was so awkward when I was walking home because I walked past an atheist and like…I’m a church so… yea

wait what

“Seven meows left”