Lexi

seduce me with ur history knowledge 

vikings made their woman handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft

During a military campaign, Vlad the Impaler, the basis for Dracula, once pulled his troops out of a major engagement in a valley at dusk so that the sun was in their enemies’ eyes. Once they were over the hill, they set loose a bunch of rabid bats who flew away from the sun (towards the enemy) and attacked them, leading to significant infection in their ranks, and Vlad’s eventual victory. Because of how the bats appeared from where Vlad’s soldiers appeared to be at dusk, myth stated that the soldiers turned into bats at night, which is where the “Dracula can change into a bat” thing came from.

raphael, the renaissance painter, literally fucked himself to death

during the Ottoman Empire, the Sultan Ibrahim I had 280 of his concubines drowned in the ocean after ONE of them slept with another man.

The earths carbon levels fell by 700 million tons because Genghis Khan killed so many people

Spicy foods were thought to increase libido and cause children to masturbate. To prevent kids from touching themselves at night, a man named Kellogg invented the blandest combination of cereals, marketed it at kids, and called it Corn Flakes

At the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War, a small group of Union soldiers had run out of ammo against a large group of the Confederate Army. In a panic, the Union soldiers sprinted at them, screaming, with only bayonets drawn. The entire Confederate Army that was present turned and ran away in fear, not knowing that they had literally no ammunition.

There are various reports that Lincoln is at least bisexual, possibly gay. He used to share beds with other men when Mary Todd Lincoln was away, and notoriously would share a bed with one of his bodyguards. There is a whole branch of the Republican Party that is based on this theory - the Lincoln Loggers.

Why fight against pineapple pizza when square cut pizza is the real menace?

i think its dumb if drug dealers get sentenced to longer in prison than rapists?? like people ask for drugs but no one asks for rape???

Reblogging for the 1 million time because fucking realest thing I’ve read on tumblr.

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “i haven’t started either”