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@shslmoonlight
intro â°.âžâ.ŕłŕż*:â
áŻâ elle here âĄ.á welcome to my blogă.á 24.á scorpio.á infp.á
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all works are mine! do NOT modify, translate, or repost my works. Šshslmoonlight

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Confess to Me
Counselor!Song Mingi x F!Reader
tags: sensitive topics on religion, coercion, praise, loss of innocence, pet names (pretty baby, lamb, love, etc.) corruption, unprotected sex(yikes), religious guilt, pleasure dom mingi, oral (f! receiving), cheating, eye contact, fingering, mentions of breeding, talking you through it, NOT PROOFREAD. (Like at all, sorry for any spelling mistakes)
summary: you had been sheltered all your life, shamed at the mere thought of any sinful indulgences. but you were out on your own now, with a kindhearted boyfriend who gave you everything you wanted, but not the one thing you craved. you needed counseling, but you get way more than just a therapy session
wc: 7.3k
notes: #needthat
tracklist- gibson girl, glory box, the death of peace of mind
Ęá´ĘĘá´É˘ęą á´Ęá´ á´á´á´Ęá´á´ÉŞá´á´á´á´ !
Frankly, from the beginning, you thought it was out of the ordinary. And you had to give yourself credit for the fact that this was indeed your last resort.
For the past 10 years, youâve struggled with a deep-seated shame in yourself. Growing up sheltered and with a family that valued innocence and chastity. Basically, celibacy was the only way to live your life without sin. While being raised that way was damaging on its own, after having left the church once you got out on your own, it followed you. The guilt...
It was instilled at a young age that anything along the lines of adultery is sinful and is to be utterly ashamed of. And even though those ideals are not ones you wholeheartedly live by anymore, ideas that you lived with for such a long time tend to stick. Old habits die hard, you guess.
So when you had your very first boyfriend, a young, kind, smart guy you had met in your public speaking class, you thought this was your chance. To break through and not let the chains of the past hold you back from experiencing new things.
When you guys had your first kiss, it went fine. He respected your boundaries, made sure to understand that you were kind of fragile. To be careful with you. You can't ask for better. But one issue is that he never ever tried anything further than kissing. You two could make out for hours, and it never progressed any further than that.
On one hand, you were relieved that you didn't have to put yourself out there like that so soon, but at the same time, you wondered if you just didn't see yourself in that way. Maybe he didnât find you pretty enough for sex. Or maybe intimacy just wasn't his thing. You came up with every excuse in the book. Some for yourself on why you wonât just ask him, and some for him as to why he never initiated. This went on for a year. A whole year of dating and not once touching each other.
You felt disgusting. Something must be wrong with you. Your boyfriend never even once suggested anything sexual. It felt like it was all you. You felt perverted, like all you were thinking about was sex. Youâd touch yourself at night while he was on his computer, working in the other room. Your pillow in your mouth as you bit to muffle your noises while your fingers explored your body.
Every time after you were done, a strong and hot feeling of dirtiness and guilt washed over you as you realized what you had done.
Touching the rosary on your neck as you stared into the ceiling, breathing heavily, a prayer in the back of your mind raced by as you tried to calm yourself. The sacred jewelry on your neck was a gift from your mother. Something that even though held sick memories and painful reminders, it was just too familiar, and you wouldn't dare part with it.
âI'm not doing anything wrong. This is normal. I'm okay. It's okay. â But you became addicted, touching yourself until it hurt. Until it burned, but it was never enough. Lust was becoming a drug, and each dose you amped it up, but it never was the high you were searching for.
You decided that after this had been going on for too long, you needed help. You could never tell your boyfriend. Youâd be humiliated, and heâd find you repulsive. You searched all over online for a solution to this problem. Sex counselors were a thing, maybe they could help.
Nothing online was helping, article after article. Website after website. It was feeding you all the same redundant information, and none of it was settling the constant disturbance in your gut. You'd find yourself twirling your necklace again, leg bouncing from anxiety. You needed to be somewhere familiar. Somewhere that might ease you.
Slipping on some clothes and gathering your things, you walked out of your room, walking to your boyfriend as he sat at his desk, like always, typing away. You pressed a chaste kiss to his forehead and smiled.
âI'm going out for a little. Iâll be home later.â He gripped your hand a kissed the back of it, squeezing it gently.
âSee you later, hun, love you.â He smiled up at you. It felt mocking, even though he meant completely well. He let go, and you walked out the front door. Making your way to your car.
You didnât know where you were driving, but you were going somewhere. It was like your mind was on autopilot. Your brain clocked out, and your body took you where you wanted to go.
You blinked and found yourself parked at the cathedral you had frequented your whole life. Standing tall and sharp against the stark contrast of the orange and purples that littered the sky as the sun descended behind the steeple.
The wind blew softly, and the streets seemed oddly empty for a Sunday night. The stained glass windows called out a whispering âwelcome homeâ as you stepped out of your car and stared at the beautiful building in front of you. The wind started to become harsher nd began to bite at your skin with the cold. You walked up to the front entrance, purpose in your step as you ascended the stairs and slipped past the doors as quietly as you could.
Immediately, the comfort of silence enveloped you like a warm blanket. The tall ceilings with beautiful murals scrawled on them. Giant glass windows with depictions of different moments in history cast blue, green, and red lights from the setting sun on the altar. And next to it, tucked away in a dark corner in the front of the room. The confessional.
An all too familiar space to you. You forced yourself to drag your eyes away from it as you stepped further into the space, heading for the very first row of pews. You looked around, the church completely empty and the definition of quiet. Just the soft blow of the wind outside. You sat in the first row of pews, taking a moment to just take it all in. You felt safe, clean, and forgiven in here. You sat in that pew for what felt like hours, just basking in the quiet.
When you looked around again, you noticed it had gotten dark outside. The moon shone through the windows. The candles by the altar were the only light in the whole building, casting an eerie orange glow about the church.
And there was one candle in the confessional. It shone like a quiet soul inside that wooden box, seeping through the intricate carved designs on the door. You felt a small tug on your heart, like it was asking to go, to unload all the thoughts and emotions plaguing you. Let them spill free, unabashedly, somewhere to feel forgiven.
So you followed it and walked to the confessional, opening the door with a creak and sitting on the bench. You shut the door behind you, and it seemed like the world around you faded away, within the quietness of the booth. You immediately had the urge to just start talking. To get these things off your chest.
You talked about your guilt.
You talked about your sadness. You talked about your lust, how it was plaguing you all the time. How you felt like your boyfriend didnât actually love you, and how you felt like a pervert for always wanting to feel good. How it hurts to not feel good. Another 30 minutes spent in the booth trickled by before you decided you needed to head home. You stood before bowing your head. Old habits die hard, like you said. A prayer you remembered began to flow past your lips with the ease of muscle memory. Hands clasped around the rosary and eyes shut tight.
âMerciful Lord, I come before You seeking forgiveness and healing for the sin of lust that dwells within me. I confess my weakness in giving in to impure desires and indulging in lustful thoughts and actions that offend You. Purify my heart, renew my mind, and sanctify my body as Your temple.â
You continued until the prayer was finished. You dropped your hands and turned, opening the door and stepping out.
But as soon as you did, you looked up from the knob and locked eyes with someone. A chill tickled down your spine as you stared past the altar, at a man sitting in the first pew, exactly where you sat for hours before. Wearing a tight, barely fitting sheer white button-up shirt, black pants, and sharp black shoes. His hair was slightly tousled yet still professional in a way. He was hunched over, elbows resting on knees as his hands came up, pressed together like he was praying, the tips of his fingers pressed against his lips. His head was tilted slightly down, while his eyes stayed up, locked directly onto yours.
Your breath hitched, and he didnât move a muscle. His eyes bore into yours, the orange glow of the candlelight flickered across his features beautifully, and you couldn't look away. You felt small under his gaze as he pinned you down with his stare effortlessly.
Who is that? Why is he here? How long has he been here? Did he somehow hear me?
His hand twitched, then he moved it down, before fully turning his head. He narrowed his eyes. He smiled. He waved.
You felt a lurch in your stomach. He was unbelievably handsome, with the mole under his eye. The charming way his crooked teeth formed the most beautiful smile. The borderline [predatory look in his eyes. He stood and began to walk towards you.
Immediately, you stood up straight and made sure you took a couple of steps away from the confessional, as if you were too close, you would start spilling secrets.
He was right in front of you now, smiling down as the closer got, the smaller you felt.
âEveninâ, I'm sorry, thought I was the only one here tonight, I hope I wasnât bothering you.â He had a deep, baritone drawl in his voice that felt like ice on your brain. This was not good. Not good at all.
âNo, no, youâre completely fine, it's not like I own the place, I was just⌠visiting.â You smiled nervously, your palms sweating. Even though you were just conversing with one person, you felt like you had millions of eyes on you in the dark, empty church. His gaze alone was already so intense, the ghosts of former church goers seemed to stare at you as if you moved, the floor would cave underneath you.
His eyes traced your body, just for a flicker of a second, you didnât catch. He caught your gaze again, taking a small barley there step closer to you. His hand rested lazily in his pants pocket. His other hand reached forward to offer a handshake.
âSong Mingi. I'm a counselor at the cathedral. It's a pleasure to meet you, sweet thing.â You smiled as you hesitated, but ultimately brought your hand up to shake his.
â(Name), nice to meet you, Mingi sir.â His hand wrapped around yours, easily swallowing your entire hand up as he shook it firmly, lingering just a little too long.
âSo what brings you here so late at night (Name)? Canât be anything good, right?â He laughs and nudges your shoulder playfully, a little glint of joy in his eyes. While mostly an overwhelming and intense presence, he sure knew how to soften the atmosphere.
You smiled softly and shook your head. âJust⌠feeling a little weird lately, just thought maybe a visit to somewhere familiar might ease me a little.â
He tilted his head, and his eyes softened as he tsked. âWhat's going on, if you donât mind me asking. I am a counselor after all, maybe I can give you some advice.â His smile was genuine, and he seemed like he really just wanted to lift your spirits.
âWell..â You bit your bottom lip, worried, before sitting on the red velvet stairs, resting your forehead on your knees as you hugged them. Mingi followed, sitting on the step a couple below yours, looking up at your face with genuine curiosity all over his face. You took note of the clunky rosary wrapped around his neck, the crucifix sitting directly between his rather protruding pecs that pressed through the thin fabric of his shirt. You tried not to stare too much.
âIts, hard⌠for me to talk about. I had just been feeling strange lately. Like I can't find rest within myself. I thought maybe coming by my childhood church and just spilling my guts in the confessional would help, but it's just made me realize that what I'm feeling and thinking is real. And not just⌠I donât know. I feel like there's some kind of animal in me that just won't sleep. I can't even sleep. I'm always anxious, always guilty, and I somehow canât even get my boyfriend to validate me when Iâm feeling-â Imedicualty, your eyes widened, and you slapped a palm over your mouth in embarrassment, a heat trickling up the back of your neck.
âSorry.â You whispered. âI started rambling..â You were too out of it to notice that Mingiâs hand had been silently and ever so softly grazing up and down your calf, as if trying to soothe you through this confession.
âYouâre perfectly fine, sweetheart. Thank you for feeling alright with telling me.â His hand gave your calf a small squeeze before slipping away from your leg, back on the stairs.
âIt sounds like youâre going through a lot right now. You sound tired, so let me tell you something.â You were still looking down from shame, and he softly brought his hand up and tilted your chin upward so he could look into your eyes. That intense stare of his pinning you down like a fawn in headlights, you felt like you were covered in a warm, heavy weighted blanket, like even if you tried to run away, your wouldnât be able to.
âMy doors are always open to counseling sessions.â He points to a door behind the altar. âOver there is a door to my office. By the confessional. Iâm here every Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday from 4 to 10, accepting walk ins. If youâd like you can come back and we can try to explore these feelings deeper and see if we can work on getting you some well needed relief.â
You felt a flutter in your stomach at his kindness, but also at the seemingly suggestive way he chose to express his words. Maybe you were really in need of professional help, he was trying to help you, for Godâs sake. You nodded, and your eyes flicked to his nose, to his lips, to his chest, back up to his eyes. You felt like you had been caught, a small flicker of something in his eyes, his body shifted slightly, a small pink tongue darting out to wet his lips.
âThat sound alright princess?â You took a second, mulling over your thoughts. This could really benefit you. This could fix the unrest in your heart. Fix your relationship with your boyfriend, with yourself.
âI'll stop by.â You smiled, nodding your head once as if in confirmation. âThank you for listening to me.â
His grin widened and he dropped his voice down to a low whisper, coming a little closer to where you could feel his breath on your ear, his warm, woodsy scent wrapping around you, filling you with him.
âIt's my job, sweetheart, no need to thank me.â Now, you may not know too much about people, but one thing you just barely caught was a slight twitch in his soft smile, like his lips wanted to smile wider, but he stopped himself. A look in his eyes that held a secret. A desire. It was odd, you felt so safe and comforted in his presence, it was almost eerie how easy it was to get you to spill to him like that.
I mean, you walked out of the confessional, and he was sitting in your spot, staring at you like he was going to eat you. That should have unnerved you from the beginning, which it did. But something was so alluring. So tantalizing and bewitching about him. Just a few words from his pretty plump lips, and if he had asked for your soul, youâre sure you would have given it to him.
You left, turning around to look at the church. The steeple seemed sharper against the stark black sky. The streets were even quieter, the air colder. The building seemed more haunted than holy now, but before you psyched yourself out, you got back in your car and drove home.
It had been a week since your visit to a church. If you werenât going to hell before, you were certainly going now. Every night, the same routine continued, but this time, you were imagining him. Mingi, tracing your curves and kissing your skin. Mingi, reaching inside you and caressing your insides in a way so invasive it should be considered immoral. You wanted him pressing his body into yours, his warmth soaking into your skin as he pleasured you in ways you imagined heaven should feel like.
Just sick in the head.
There was no way you could go see him now, with these images of him squeezing your body and rolling his hips, mouth agape and eyes rolling and boring into yours in a fashion that felt like he knew your entire being.
You slept next to your boyfriend every night, not even daring to cuddle with him in fear that even just by touching, he could feel the want and the lust seeping from your skin.
And that's how you found yourself in your car, back at the church. The streets are empty again. The sky had opened on your way there, the clouds angry and dark, fat droplets of rain pouring fast on the streets.
Your hands gripped the steering wheel so hard it began to burn, but you didnât let go. You were trying to ground yourself before you walked into the church and saw him. You needed to get a hold of yourself. With a couple of bites to your palm and a cold sip of water. You rushed out of your car and walked with purpose to the church quickly as not to give yourself time to chicken out and go back home.
You entered the church, albeit soaked to the bone from the rain. It felt darker and colder now. The candles cast flickering, dark shadows on the walls. Behind the altar was his office door. Standing tall and mocking, you pinched your necklace and took a deep breath before making your way to his door.
The carpet swallowed your footsteps as you walked to his door, past the confessional, the urge to tell secrets welling up in your chest again. You stopped in front of his door, a soft light emanating from the crack at the bottom. Your hand hovered over the knob.
âCome in.â The muffled voice beckoned behind the door. You obeyed.
Twisting the knob you opened the door with a quiet creak. Inside was a broad, beautiful mahogany desk, littered with papers, candles, and an assortment of Bibles. A large painting of Mother Mary was mounted on the wall directly behind the chair behind the desk, where Mingi sat. The first 2 buttons of his shirt were undone, and he leaned back lazily as his foot rested on his knee. His hand was on the table, his fingers resting in between stacks of paper, caressing the edge of the paper ever so slowly, occasionally slipping between sheets.
His eyes caught yours immediately, smiling as he gestured to the chair in front of him. A large velvety red and blue couch was against the left wall, and tall, gold-plated mirror was on the right. His eyes were darker tonight. Narrowed. Filled with⌠intention. 3 candles lit up the room, providing minimal light to properly see his face.
â(Name), it's good to see you again.â You sat in the chair, feeling his voice rumble in your chest as a roll of thunder sounded in the distance. He laughed gently before flashing that charming grin of his at you.
âGuess you got caught in the rain, huh?â The teasing lilt in his voice sent a little shock wave through your head, suddenly aware that you were still, in fact, soaking wet.
âYeah it just started pouring as soon as I left, I considered d turning around.â You smiled in an attempt to hide your nervousness, before he reached across and took your hand in his, squeezing it gently.
âWell, for what its worth, Iâm glad you wanted to be here so bad you came anyway.â Confusion shot through tou but before you could even react he pulled away and cleared his throat.
âNow then, let's start unpacking this, yeah?â He waves his hand at you and smiles.
âTalk to me, sweetheart. Tell me everything that's on your mind.â You blinked. Once. Twice.
Oh godâŚ
âWell..â You shifted in your seat. This was it. You were here for a reason. No time to be shy, this is how you get the help youâve been needing. But his presence is so heavy⌠it was overwhelming your senses. The whole office smelled like him. The air was thick, and the atmosphere was dark. It felt like the painting was watching you. He was watching you. Picking you apart with his eyes, carefully.
âIâve got this suffocating guilt that's been following me for what seems like years. As a kid, I was sheltered, being part of the church kept me away from much outside influence, and frankly, I feel like it's messed me up a bit, in a way⌠I don't know how to explain it. Anyway, so I get out, right? Out in the world by myself. Iâm doing okay, learning new things and trying to work the world without the influence of the church holding me back.â You stop and smile, a little lost in your thoughts as you think about old memories.
âThen I meet my first boyfriend. Hes really sweet, smart, kind. Kind of the complete package kind of guy.â Too busy lost in your story, you failed to see how Mingiâs grip on his knee tightens, how his jaw clenches and how his eyes rove over you like youâll disappear if he looks away for one second, enamoured.
âHowâs that going?â Mingi asks softly, âSounds like a pretty awesome guy.â There it is. He sees the change in your demeanor. The way your shoulder slumps, the burning shame in your eyes. The slight readjustment of your posture.
âWell, that's just the thing. He's great and all, a really good guy. But, he doesnât seem⌠interestedâŚâ You refuse eye contact as you trail off, beginning to close up again. You can feel the heat crawling up your back as you know in a second the conversation is about to take an incredibly inappropriate and soul-baring turn.
âInterested in what love? Cmon, talk to me.â he comes over from behind the desk and squats down in front of you as you stay sitting in the chair, so he can look at you eye level. His hands rested on his knees, and he spoke even softer now that he was closer. âYou can trust me. Let me help you.â
Mingi was so close now, and he was making it so hard for you not to just straight up start acting like an animal in heat with that look he was giving you. He was trying to pull the secrets from your throat with his eyes. Like a fish hook in your mouth, he was prying you open to him, and you just simply couldnât resist
âI⌠fuck okay. Fine. I feel so gross because he wonât make any sexual advances towards me, and it's been over a year of dating. Yes, it's unbecoming, and it makes me feel so sick that all I seem to crave is for him to touch me. I'm so ashamed it's all I think of every day and every night, and weâve never gone any farther than kissing. I feel like I'm missing out on so much because of my lack of knowledge, but I also feel like it's better for me to just never know. It's sick and it's hurting! Itâit hurts me to know that it's not okay to feel good like.. That..â Silence fell, your eyes glued to your lap.
You slowly raise your eyes, ready to see the disappointment in Mingiâs face at your shameful confession.
Instead, a small smile, barely there, tilts up the corners of his lips. You glue your eyes to the rosary on his chest as you feel the deep, baritone chuckle that slips past his lips. The shame burned. You wonât look at him.
âYâknow. Iâm going to tell you a secret, okay?â You felt a finger pinch your chin gently, before he directed your gaze at his, dropping them before they landed on your knees.
âWhat you are feeling? Is okay. I promise.â His voice was soft and promising, words dripping in sugar as he began to drag his big, calloused palms up and down⌠up and down⌠your thighs soothingly through your pencil skirt.
Your breath hitched, and you couldnât take your eyes off him. âYour boyfriend, not touching you, has nothing to do with you physically. Youâre beautiful, I can promise you that.â You felt that warmth envelop you again from when he whispered in your ear. That deeep pull in your lower stomach that burned.
âIn fact, I could even go as far as to say youâre very alluring. So small, soft, like a lamb.â Daringly, his hands slipped further up, now resting on your hips, like they were made to fit there.
He knew what he was doing. The dangerous look in his eyes swelling as he watched you slowly melt as his words sat in your skull.
âIâll confess it now, I heard everything you said in the booth last week.â his voice was now a whisper, gentle like he would scare you off. He felt your body jolt like youâd run from him, and his hands held your hips tighter, holding you down onto the chair only slightly, like it was a suggestion that you should stay, his thumbs rubbing slow, soft circles into your stomach.
âI heard every word. Every cry. Every plea. Every prayer that this feeling could be relieved for you. You were so pretty coming out of the booth. Little tear droplets on your lashes and embarrassment all over your body. I knew you needed help.â
Mingi sank to his knees, so close to your body you could feel and smell every inch of him all over you. His hands moved up and gently cupped your face, guiding your head down so he could mumble in your ear.
He breathed quietly for a second before blowing a cold gust of air on your ear, making you shiver. âLet me help you, precious. Let's drag that feeling out. Let me drag it out of you.â
âIf anyone can make you feel good in a way thatâll satiate the craving inside of you, itâs me. I can take care of you. Treat you like the angel you are. Does that sound good.â He pressed a gentle kiss to your hair, his hand mindlessly massaging your leg. âI promise.â He was whispering now, barely contained desire seeping from his gentle, coaxing words. âDonât you trust me?â
Your brain was so fuzzy. Was this happening? Was he offering to take care of you in the way youâve been crazy about? The one your boyfriend wonât give you. Maybe itâll clear the nasty thoughts out of your head. Make the hysteria go away.
âCmon babyâŚâ He was all over you now, standing, towering over you as he leaned down, one hand on either side of your chair. You followed his gaze up and stared into his eyes. His rosary dangled right above your chest, almost touching it. It swung back and forth back and forth, hypnotically. His hand gripped the armrests tightly, like he was stopping himself from ripping you apart with his bare hands.
You looked so good, so delicious, so pure. Heâd love to be the one to introduce you to the wonderfully sinful world of pleasure, to drown you in the feeling himself. To give himself to you.
âLet's get it out of your system, yeah? I can fix you, angel.â
Testing the waters, he leaned further down, his breaths mixing with yours, keeping you caged in, his eyes never leaving yours. It felt like you stayed like that forever. Lips millimeters from touching, tension in the air crackling.
You had never felt this way before. Your body ached, and your lower stomach throbbed with what could only be described as need.
All it took was the small, slight parting of your lips before Mingi finally pressed into you. His plushy lips sinking into yours like they were meant to be there. His eyes stayed on you, watching and guaging your reaction to the touch, only when your eyes fluttered close and you whined softly into his mouth did he really let himself go.
Pressing himself impossibly closer against you, his hands left the arm rests and threaded through your hair before gripping gently and completely swallowing you whole with his mouth. His tongue delved deep, tracing patterns in your mouth and moving against you in ways that had you groaning deep into him.
He swallowed your sounds gratefully, a loud crack of thunder nearly shaking the room. One candle blew out.
It wasnât enough. He needed more of you. He needed to consume you. Even though it hurt, he pulled away from your mouth, panting softly as he watched the trail of saliva snap between you. He stared at your glassy eyes and pink lips, groaning to himself as he stood up and started to undo his tie.
âAlright, princess, I need you to take off your skirt and go lie on your back on that couch over there, okay? Can you do that for me?â
Taking a second to break out of your stupor, you nodded and stood up, slipping the skirt and pantyhose off your legs before complying and lying on the couch. Mingi strode over, his tie gone and his shirt completely unbuttoned, a filthy, hungry look in his eyes. Rosary hanging proudly around his neck.
Gently, like he was still afraid to scare you. He laid between your legs on the couch. He planted his head directly between your thighs, his big hands slipping under your thighs and guiding them upward around his head, before spreading his big hand directly over your lower abdomen. His other hand slipped down and teased your soaking wet cunt through your panties.
Mingi stared into your eyes from between your legs and breathed in your scent deeply.
âYouâre gonna taste so sweet for me, aren't you, angel?â Your head lolled at the sweet words; he just knew how to break you down and turn you into a puddle in his hands.
âAll for meâŚâ he mumbled completely to himself as he dragged your panties down your thighs and off your legs. He couldn't pull his eyes away from your pretty pussy. You felt so bare, so exposed, shying away, you tried to close your legs, but of course, his head was in the way.
âDonât be ashamed, pretty girl.â He rubbed gentle circles on your thighs again before letting out a quick, quiet whistle. âLook at me, {Name}.â
Your head snapped to him, eyes locked with his, his gaze so intense you felt your eyes water, and a whimper bubbles up from your chest. He kisses your thighs softly, before hovering his mouth over your cunt, letting his breath fan over her gently.
âI want your eyes on me while I eat, okay? I need to see what you like, baby.â Heâs going to read your body. You shivered and moaned softly at his words as you kept your eyes on him.
âGood. Keep those pretty eyes on me.â Slowly, tortorously slow, he brought his mouth down, licking a slow, wide strip up your cunt, kissing your clit at the end of its journey. The switch in Mingi was quick. Too quick. He became addicted immediately.
His eyes clouded over and buried his tongue inside of you, his nose grinding against your clit. You felt like you were going to die. It was so good. It felt so fucking good. You brought your hand up and bit your finger to keep yourself quiet. It felt so wrong. Doing something like this in a church, of all places. You felt judged and watched, but it felt like heaven. Mingiâs tongue felt like heaven.
âYeah, yeah, that's it. Feeling good, pretty baby?â You nodded frantically, whimpering out broken âyesâsâ and cries of his name. His hand snuck up and pulled your hand away from your mouth, grabbing both of your wrists in one hand, keeping a firm grip on them, holding them down in front of your tummy.
He groaned loud into your pussy, the vibrations reaching deep inside and making your back arch. He closed his eyes for a second, lost in the taste of you. âI have to hear you, donât be shy.â
The knot in your stomach tightened, that familiar feeling from the nights you explored your body, but this time tenfold in strength. Mingi truly was drawing a kind of pleasure out of you that youâve never felt before.
âOh mmff⌠Min-! Feels good.â You whined, feeling that climax building deep in your gut.
âOh, baby, I feel you. You bout to cum?â He smiled and latched onto your clit, sucking and slipping one long, slender finger deep in your snug cunt. You nod again, moans breaking when he curls his finger upward inside, pressing against a spot youâve never been able to reach yourself.
âYeah.. yes yes yes..â You panted out, focusing on the feeling of Mingi all over you. He let out deep staccato moans around your clit before he slipped a second finger inside, coaxing inside even deeper.
âIâm gonna get you there, sweetheart. Iâm gonna fuck you right through it and spread you on my cock. I'll have you seeing stars, baby, I promise.â
Before you could react he slipped his fingers out and moved up, caging you against the couch, in split second he removed your shirt and his pants, his cock, hot and heavy laid on your stomach as his hand came up and snaked behind the back of your head.
Pressing all his body weight down on you, he nudged your legs up to wrap around his waist.
His other hand slipped down and adjusted the fat head of his cock against the slick entrance of your pussy, before moving to hold your waist tighly, his thumb sinking and pressing hard against your stomach.
âIâm gonna make you feel so good. Such a good girl like you deserves to feel good, right?â Mingiâs lips came down and swallowed your whines again, increasingly desperate and sloppy like his tongue was trying to drag noises from deep in your throat.
âYou deserve it.â He groans into your mouth, keeping his eyes on yours as he slowly, slowly sinks into your cunt.
Already, you felt so full, tears spilled from the corners of your eyes, falling apart as his eyes stripped you down to your soul, and his curved, thick cock split you open. He bottoms out with a deep groan.
Your legs shake as his head sits snugly against your G-spot perfectly. He stays there for a moment, sinking his teeth into your plush bottom lip.
âShh, yeah⌠that's it. So filthy. You feel how deep I am? So warm and so perfect.â Mingi rolled his hips into you, not quite thrusting, but he dragged his tip against that spot, and you came just like that, convulsing and whining into his mouth.
ââOh angel, you just came?â His whole body shivered at the amount of control he had over how good you felt. Like clay, he could shape and mold you to fit him perfectly. Make you his pretty little doll.
Your hands wrapped around his neck as he pulled himself out of you, dragging deliciously against your insides before thrusting back into you.
âOh, you're so good. So good for meâŚâ Ming sucked and licked dark purple marks into the flesh of your collarbones, drooling on your neck before leaving wet, open mouth kisses against the shell of your ear.
âYouâre perfect, thereâs nothing wrong with you, pretty baby. So responsive. So easy to please.â Mingi words floated around in your empty brain as he fucked you deep, and heavy. Your moans and cries egged him on. He wanted more from you, he wanted you to come on his cock again.
âYouâre gonna give me another one (Name). Iâm gonna make you come on my cock again, okay baby?â Mingi took the rosary that was swinging in your face off and flipped you over so you were on your stomach now. Wrapping the chain around your wrists, he brought them down behind your back, bound tight.
His hand massaged from your neck, down your shoulders, along your back, and down to your hips. Without warning he slid his cock back inside of you, the new prone angle making your pussy suck him even deeper. He bends over, lips pressed directly against your ear, one hand around the back of your neck and the other snaked between your stomach and the couch, drawing slow, rough circles against your clit. He fucked you deep and hard, feeling him in your stomach.
âThis is what heaven feels like, baby. Like it? I know you do, your voice and your wet cunt is telling me everything. Every dirty thought youâve been having. Iâm giving you what you need. I can always give you what you needâŚâ
The knot was building again, the drag of him against your walls stretching you so perfectly, the feeling of his body overtaking yours.
âMy dirty, dirty girl. Would you like me to take you out and fuck you stupid in the altar? All whiny and sensitive, I can breed you like an animal, would you like that?â
Grinding his hips into yours without mercy, Mingi relished in the feeling of you giving yourself up to him. He was obsessed with the way you twitched and squirmed, completely at his mercy.
He loved that he was the one to rip this abstinence away from you, drag you down further into sin.
âSee, this isnât so bad, no need to feel guilty about it baby, it feels good, nothing that feels this goodâ fffuckkk⌠could ever be so badâŚâ
Mingi must be right. It feels so good, itâs impossible for this to be so bad right?
You werenât going to last much longer, and he could feel you clench around him as your impending orgasm was reaching its height. Mingi licked and bit all along your back, dragging his open mouth along the length of your shoulder blades. His hand continued to rub slow, pressured circles on your clit.
âAlmost there sweet girl,â he murmured against your bruised skin, chasing his own high with your body.
âYou sin so beautifully for me, youâre to tempting, as soon as I saw you I wanted to shove you back in that confessional and eat you out so good youâd beg me to stop. A sweaty overstimulated mess for me in a place meant for repentance.â He kept whispering in your ear, the deep rolls of his hips making your stomach feel like it was sinking.
âOh, I wanna cum in you so badly. But thatâd be so wrong of me. So bad..â Mingiâs hips began to stutter as he buried his face deep in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent and lazily kissing every inch of your throat.
âCum for me baby, itâs okay to feel good, feel good under me, feel good while I strip your purity from you, give it to me, let me have it. I want it please honey please..â
Who were you to ignore such sweet prayer to you as he worshipped your body, practically melting into your flesh and becoming one.
His arms came around and wrapped around your torso like you were a body pillow, locking his hands together around your arms and your chest, effectively caging you against him and the couch, you couldnât budge if you tried. He held you in a vice like hold, so tight you almost couldnât breathe.
Your vision blacked, for just a second, as your orgasm came crashing down on you in strong periodic waves that felt like your insides were being battered, again and again and again and-
Mingi slowed his pace inside of you, opting for deep, deliberate rolls of his hips to move you through your orgasm, fucking his cum into you in the process.
His grip on your body turned softer, more like he was trying to hold you together rather than prevent you from moving. He ran his hands up and down your body so slowly and gently, like he was mapping you out and finding every curve, every mole or scar, every stretch mark and every sensitive spot.
âYeah good girl. Let me fuck you through it mkay? Should I fuck you to sleep too huh? Would you like that pretty baby?â His voice was low and soft, his lips kissing along the top of your head, soothing and gentle. Your eyes lids fluttered at his softness, your cunt giving one last clench before you fully realized he had run you ragged.
Your body slumped under his own, face smushed in the pillow as you caught your breath. Mingi stood up and slipped on his pants, before gently turning you over on your back again. He pulled a pack of baby wipes out of his desk drawer and began gently cleaning between your thighs and all over your body.
His eyes followed trails of marks and bruises he left on you from his kisses and his grip on your flesh, a flash of possession hit his heart as you traced the dark marks on your neck and collar bone. âDid so good, love. Bet your boyfriend wouldnât be able to have you praying for me like that huh?â He laughed to himself before reaching up and untying his rosary from your wrists.
He turned to the mirror and began putting it back on him. With his back turned you stared at the scratches on his back. He made you feel so good⌠and then it hit you.
Your boyfriend.
Your eyes widened and panic quietly began to set it. But before you could really process anything, Mingi turned back around, that stupid smile on his face as he gestures you to stand up.
âCome on lamb, we have to go visit the confessional.â
The puzzled look on your face formed and he laughed, almost condescendingly at your pitiful appearance.
He leaned down to your ear and gently bit the lobe, tugging with a low, quiet hum.
âYouâve got some sins to get off your chest.â
#holyfucksongmingi
,,Dollhouseââ
Professor!Song Mingi x student babysitter!Reader
summary: every girl has had that exhilarating little crush on their teacher, itâs not unheard of by any means. it almost always amounts to nothing, a small little motivation that keeps you awake in class. most girls donât get hired by their professors to be a babysitter, and most girls donât end up entwined in a situation so wrong that it eats them alive at night. not the guilt, or the shame. but the hunger, and the need. and most professors certainly donât play into those little infatuations, and find themselves chasing that chance to absolutely ruin them. so why are you trying to play house and take on a role that wasnât meant for you?
warnings: age gap(reader is in her 20âs, mingi is in his 40âs), this is nasty, DILF!mingi, lowkey salt & pepper!mingi, tension, power dynamics, emotional turmoil, girl dad mingi, manipulation, corruption, teasing, condescending!mdom, pet names(sweetheart, pretty baby, darling, slut etc), size kink, voice kink, praise, mating press, oral(f!receiving), countdown, biting, fingering, lowkey breeding kink, choking, overstimulation, dirty talk, eye contact, messy sex, mouth covering, hold the moan, creampie
wc: 18.1k (I am SO sorry)
notes: hiii⌠my dear @linearities, itâs me your secret admirer! you put down dilf Mingi and I was SAT. and then you mentioned prof!teez, so I just thought why not combine the two? you donât understand how much I got into this while I was writing itâs kind of insane, god I hope you like it. all the love in the world⌠thank you @everyonewooeverywhere for hosting such a fun event
- your secret admirer <3
tracklist: million dollar man, strange candy, baby one more time
You werenât stupid. You werenât dumb, quite the opposite. You were intelligent, cunning. A smart woman who sometimes made foolish decisions. This would be one of them, one of the stupidest you've ever made.
And you would still do it again if ever given a second chance.
It nearly frightened you, the effect he had on you; it was embarrassing enough. It felt like an unattainable crush, a fleeting little infatuation that was bound to pass with time.
But it was so hard to get over it when you saw him nearly every day of the week. And even so, it was still not enough, and far too much all at once.
If it had to be described as anything, the word would be taboo. When he was introducing himself to his class of the year, he started with something that made your stomach do a flip.
âYâknow I have tattoos older than most of you in here, so if you ever question my teaching methods, think long and hard about how much longer Iâve been on earth than you.â
You thought long and hard, alright, and it certainly didn't help your little girly infatuation with your professor.
Professor Song Mingi, a literary instructor at your college. Students clamored during open season to squeeze into his class, which always filled up so quickly during enrollment. His teaching was sound and effective, and it didnât hurt that he was way too easy on the eyes.
A low, flowing voice that was easy to grip onto and follow, gentle handwriting, and a pristine way with words. Dark tresses that framed his soft yet angular face, pink, puffy lips that wrapped around his syllables like a glove. His pretty, sharp nose beckoned for a rider. His meaty arms that always seemed to be struggling beneath his rolled-up white blazers, the buttons on the cuffs mere seconds from popping off.
His class was always dimly lit, a comfortable aura that made it easy to ease into learning. You could write a 20-page essay on why you enjoyed his class.
He was never dismissive, always listened to his students attentively, and truly valued their thoughts and opinions. He enjoyed shaping young folks' minds and helping them through their way, assisting them in growing and becoming respective, creative individuals.
You never struggled in his class, never had to ask for tutoring sessions. And to be honest, you probably wouldnât be able to handle a one-on-one with him either way. He was too intimidating, too suffocating.
Whenever he asked the class a question, and you were able to gather your bearings to answer, you could hardly keep yourself from tripping over your words with how intense his gaze was.
Like he was clinging onto every word like a lifeline, his eyebrows raising now and then when your response flowed from your lips, his tongue would poke out the corner of his mouth, nodding along as he listened.
Heâd always smile when you finally stumbled through your response, pointing his pen in your direction with a sly grin.Â
âSmart girl.â That stupid voice that made your brain dissolve into a useless puddle.
It was never good for your nerves.
But recently, you felt like his material has been getting more difficult. Maybe it was because finals for the semester were approaching, and the work started to get more grueling? Or maybe you were just tired, but his lectures started to blend into watercolor, and the readings he assigned the class started to sound like pig Latin.
Luckily, you werenât the only one confused, when a girl who sat next to you leaned over while he was talking and whispered to you.
âIs he speaking English right now?â
Today was no different; the stress started to weigh on you as more finals began to close in. Recently, youâd been a bit tight on money, trying your best to save up from the barista job youâd been managing for the past year, but it was starting to fall short.
You had set up a job portfolio the night before in a fit of desperation in hopes of snagging a gig on the side in childcare, just to push you through the last few months of the year.Â
The winter chill nipped at your bones, and you always felt demotivated in the cold. The class dragged on, and you could barely keep your thoughts in a straight line as Professor Song droned on. You tried to cling to every word, retain every piece of information, but it all just seemed to slip away like you had butter fingers.
Your notes became sloppy, and your doodles in the margins became more frequent. Everyone in your immediate vicinity seemed just as hopeless, and this must have caught your professors' attention.
He turned from the board, and his face fell from concentrated to a soft sort of concern. He sighed softly and set his pen on the desk, a quiet clatter on the wood surface. This caught your attention, and you raised your head slowly.Â
Your eyes locked with his immediately, almost as if he was already trained on you before you raised your gaze. Your eyes dance with one another for a fleeting moment, and something flashes across his face, subtle yet electrifying. Then heâs clearing his throat, ripping his eyes from yours, and swimming over the rest of the lecture room.
He moves away from the board, lifting himself to sit on his desk, crossing his legs, and clasping his hands on his lap.
âAlright, guys, I get it.â The class directs its scattered attention to its professor sitting on his desk, his foot shaking back and forth softly. âIt's the end of the semester, weâre all tired. Believe me, Iâm in the same boat.â
He turns his head to a framed picture on his desk, a candid photo of him and his young daughter celebrating her birthday at the aquarium. âMy daughter keeps whining at me about how hard her coloring sheets are. She canât for the life of her understand the difference between indigo and violet.â
This pulls a warm laugh out of everyone, and you canât help but join in. Professor Song never stops talking about his daughter; he loves her with all his heart. He has her many scribbled arts around his lecture room, photos of her on his desk, and her pipe cleaner flowers displayed proudly in the far right corner.Â
You tap your pen against your notebook rhythmically, and you donât catch the way his eyes sweep over your face while the laughter dies down. âEveryoneâs running on fumes, and Iâm sure youâve heard it a thousand times, but this is important. Weâll pull through this last month, and weâll have a few weeks off to laze away, and itâll be well earned. Right?â
The class nods in agreement, and Professor Song smiles in acknowledgment. âSo, do me a beautiful favor, and stay with me a little longer while we get through this, okay? You all have been doing phenomenal this year, let's keep it up til the end, yeah?â
Everyone perks up at the encouraging words, and you find your energy slowly creeping its way back into your blood. Just enough to get through the day, but not enough to prepare for the shitshow that was to come.
Two thousand weekly.
You rubbed your eyes, blinking a few times and drinking some water to be sure you werenât hallucinating the mail in your inbox.
You had arrived back home after dragging yourself through the last bits of Professor Songâs class, leaving with mostly full note pages and a renewed vigor to pull through this last semester.
The portfolio you had set up on the nanny website already had a response, and quite an unexpected one. A generous offer for pay, a part-time position as a babysitter for a young girl, age 6. Two thousand per week for 6 months, free meals provided, flexible schedule. It was almost too good to be true. The email didnât go into too much detail, only offering further information if you shot back a response expressing your interest.
It was everything you needed and more, but one thing was making you hesitant. One small, coincidental detail.
Regards, M. Song.
Signed at the bottom of the email, like colorful barbed wire.
It had to be a coincidence. There was no way it was him.Â
Song is a common last name; you were sure it had to be somebody else. No matter, it was too good to pass up, and you found yourself drafting your email before you gave it any more rational thought. If it were him, it would be dangerous. Youâd be deep in enemy territory.
You sent the email expressing enthusiastic interest in the position, and slammed your laptop shut so hard you thought you heard a key fly off. You buried your face in your hands and groaned aloud into the darkness of your bedroom, trying to shake the weird feeling blossoming in your chest.
It had to be a coincidence. Thereâs no way your literary professor saw the hundreds of capable babysitting portfolios to choose from and decided to pick yours. Thereâs no way you posted it yesterday, and he just so happens upon a day later and immediately makes his decision.
There was no way he was offering so much money for something as simple as babysitting.
There was no way youâd be able to go through this and maintain a professional, normal attitude.
Not even 10 minutes later, your phone chimes, the blinding light illuminating your dark room, therefore sealing your fate. You hadnât even clicked the notification, skimming over the email banner before mentally checking out.
Dear Miss L/N,
     Thank you for expressing your interest in the position. I would be delighted-
And that was it. You eventually gathered enough courage to open the email. It gave you all the information you needed, a scheduled time to meet at his home to set up the payroll, and introduced you to his daughter. Work out kinks and settle into the position.
Mr. Song doesnât return home until after dark, well after 9 pm. Your shifts start at 3 pm every day for the next six months. Sundays are guaranteed days off, and he shall keep you posted on future days off if available. You had mentioned in your email that you were a student, so availability might fluctuate depending on school.
His response?
âYou mentioned you were a student; I am well aware of this fact. Do not worry, I will ensure that your studies will remain unaffected.â
An insane thing to say, by the way.Â
It was definitely him. Regardless, you would find out in due time when you finally meet him at his home, and solidify what was to come, which can only be described as unmentionable.
-
His big warm hand encased yours, swallowing it whole so effortlessly. Calloused fingertips brush against the pulse that bounces in your wrist, and you barely keep your breath from hitching. His thumb runs over your knuckles, and you swallow a weird noise.
âThank you for taking the position, darling. Youâre saving me a hell of a lot of time.â That's stupid, grin, toothy, and wide. His eyes crinkled at the corners, the crows' feet making their grand appearance. The streaks of silver that flow through his dark hair like a wave youâve never noticed until now, so close it was hard to miss.
âOf course⌠Mr. Song, thank you for considering me.â You werenât sure whether you should call him professor or a different honorific outside of the lecture room, but he did not correct you, so you assumed it was the right choice.
You caught yourself that Saturday morning paying extra attention to your hair, curling your lashes a little higher, reapplying layers of lip gloss until it looked like youâd been making out with honeycomb.Â
Throwing together a cute outfit to make a good âfirst impression.â You couldnât believe yourself, but once you were out the door and in your car, it was too late to worry about it now.
Your nerves were alight as you made your way to his address. You nearly saw him every goddamn day, but of course, this was different.Â
His residence was a rustic western style house, furnished with well-kept gardens in the front yards and a freshly painted porch and patio. A cute, homey place that somehow just made him all the more attractive.Â
You pulled into his driveway, taking your keys out of the ignition and giving your body a moment to relax. A few deep breaths and one life saver mint later, and you were stepping out with your purse in your clutches and your anxiety written all over your poor face.
You hadnât even noticed until you raised your gaze from your feet, but there he stood. On his front porch, that white blazer with his rolled-up sleeves, no tie today. Black slacks and his glasses low on the bridge of his nose. His eyes are leering at you.
You stopped in place when you saw him, and his expression never changed. A sort of scrutiny on his brow as he watched you step out of your car, dare you say borderline predatory, but you certainly wouldnât want to set anything into motion by manifestation. Surely not.
You lift your hand and give a curt, polite wave. Then his brows are falling, his lips are curling, and heâs offering a warm, gentle smile.
â(Name.) Good to see you, Iâm glad you could make it.â Mingiâs own voice booms over his front yard to your ears, and you force your feet to unstick from the driveway pavement and continue to walk to his home.
You walk up the steps with only slightly shaky legs, face-to-face with him. âOf course, sorry if Iâm a bit early.â
He smiles wider, yet softer. âItâs perfectly fine, Iâd prefer you be early rather than late. I admire your punctuality; youâve always been like that.â
Youâve always been like that.
You try not to let the praise get to your head, and you barely miss the way his tongue swipes over his bottom lip as he catches the way your shoulders hunch slightly at his words, and your fingers squeeze the straps of your purse just a little tighter.
âWell, letâs not just stand around. Sheâs excited to meet you.â Mr. Song turns and pushes open his front door, standing in front of it to hold it open. âAfter you.â
You smile nervously and slowly walk inside. He watches every step you take as you brush past him, your shoulder just barely grazing his lower chest, there not quite being enough room between him and the door frame to give you a spacious entry. His cologne hits your nose as you walk by, and you stop yourself from inhaling deeply as you plant your feet on his foyer floor, listening as he shuts the door and clicks the lock.
You were in enemy territory, and you had never felt more vulnerable in your life.Â
Immediately, you were tripping over toys, and you nearly fell backwards as a little girl came running up you, picking up one of the dolls you nearly busted your ass on and handed it to you.
âOkay and scene!â You canât help the smile that breaks on your face, the confusion of being suddenly thrown into a scene, evident.
âWait, whatâs happening-â
The little girl is carrying another doll, and she shakes it back and forth as she begins to speak. âWhere have you been? Youâre late again!â She pouts furiously as she points to the doll in your hand, and you know that's your time to shine.
âIâm not late,â you speak through the doll in your grasp, kneeling to sit at eye level with the girl. âIn fact, Iâm right on time!â You motion the dollâs arm to point at an invisible watch on her plastic wrist, and you practically see the girl light up over you playing along with her.
You pay no attention to Mingi, who stands behind you, watching you interact with his daughter, a small smile on his face. You play along happily, and he can see how much his daughter has already taken a liking to you. But before she can drag you into another scene, Mingi is clearing his throat.
He crouches down and with his strong arms he scoops her up, and little giggles flow from her as he lifts her into his hold. âYou little monster!â He grumbles playfully, the sweetest smile on his lips as litters her face in fleeting kisses, an exaggerated âmwahâ punctuating each one he landed.
He swings her back and forth like she was on a carnival ride and he laughs morph into joyous squeals, the smile on Mingiâs face nothing short of beautiful.
You watch in awe and admiration, how sweet he is with her and it makes something in your heart twist.
When she reaches her little hand out and pulls on some of his hair, his smile drops a little and hers only widens.
âOuch- okay, no hair pulling sweetpea we know this.â He gently sets her down, not without the theatrics akin to a landing airplane.
Once her feet touch the ground she mumbles out an adorable sorry, and you swear you see Mingiâs heart melt.
âAlright, lovebug, you can give her more acting lessons later. Daddy needs to talk to her for a second, okay?â
The little girl frowns as you sheepishly hand her back her doll. âDonât worry, we can play a lot more once Iâm all settled in. I promise.â You smile, and she returns it, taking her doll back and bounding away to the couch in the living room, resuming her little roleplay on her own.
You stand up slowly and watch her skip away, somewhat avoiding turning around to see Mr. Song. When you finally turn, his back is to you as heâs begun walking to the kitchen. You follow, nearly tripping over toy cars and plush animals again.
He stops in front of the kitchen island, pouring you and himself a small glass of water out of a filter. He sets the cup on the countertop with a clink, sliding towards you as you stand a few feet away from him, trying to keep as much distance as is deemed appropriate.
When the silence stretches for much too long, you pick up your cup and take a big sip, hoping the cool water will calm your nerves. You open your mouth to speak, but he beats you to it.
âShe likes you a lot already.â He states, raising his eyes over and glancing at the back of the couch.
A shy smile graces your face as you take another sip. âYou could tell that from such a small interaction, Professor?â You glance up at him over the rim of your glass, and you donât miss the way his eyebrows raise, and his face shows nothing short of amusement.
âWell, she is my kid after all, and I know her pretty well.â He takes a sip from his own glass, tapping his metal-clad fingers against the checkered walls of the cup. âAnd I donât see why she wouldnât like you.â
Of course, you were going to ask, what the hell does he mean by that? You smile, more confident now, setting your glass on the countertop and crossing your arms over your chest.
âDo tell, what's there to like?â Something about the entire conversation just felt⌠informal. Youâve never spoken to him outside of the lines of education or questions about exams. This type of talk was far beyond your teacher-student boundaries, even if it can be considered as fleeting small talk.
This makes him laugh, and you feel your lips twitch at the melodic sound. You try not to smile any harder than you already are.
âAsking for lip service now, are we (Name)?â His playful tone of voice carried a much lighter cadence than the authoritative tone he held in the classroom. You tried not to notice that tattoo that was peeking through his sheer white dress shirt.
âNo, Mingi.â You reply just as playfully, and you find yourself rubbing your lips together, grounding yourself with the feeling of the layer of lip gloss on your lips.Â
His eyes linger on your mouth for just a fraction of a second, hardly noticeable. They trail up the side of your face, and his gaze stops on your eyes. Something in his eyes changes, a kind of shift that makes your heart stop for a moment. His jaw flexes and fingers twitch as he moves to cross his own arms.
âThatâs Mr. Song, or 'sir' to you, young lady.â His eyebrows set hard, and you feel your stomach drop at the sudden change in attitude. He looks down at you like youâre small, like you donât deserve his respect. As much as youâd like to push it, he controls your grades and ultimately your future. And passing up on such a gratuitous opportunity with this job simply to act a little too familiar with your professor would be borderline idiotic.
His eyebrows raise, and his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek, urging your confirmation of his command. âUnderstand?â
You swallow and nod your head politely. âYes, sir.â You quickly grab your glass again and down the rest of the water, taking a moment to gather yourself, because as depraved as it was. That entire interaction made you god-awful wet.
âWe may not be in class, but Iâm still your elder.â He turns around and walks past you, a trail of his cologne passing beneath your nose and fogging your brain. You have to crane your neck to watch the back of his head as he walks away, the sheer size of him dizzying.
âIf you donât mind me asking.â You force from your throat, keeping your eyes on the floor as you speak. âWas there any reason you chose me specifically?â
He snorts, endearingly so. âDo I need a reason?â Like it was a dumb question, even though there are no such things in his words. âI just decided to hire you. Nothing more and nothing less.â
âWell, there were plenty of people who were just as capable, if not more so-â
He interrupts you with a whistle and a loud snap of his fingers. âWhat did I say?â He leans his head backward like he was annoyed, an exasperated sigh leaving his lips as he speaks under a low breath. âGod, always so inquisitive.â
You stop from letting your mouth drop open in surprise. âIf you have any implications swimming around that pretty brain of yours, forget it. Youâre a capable girl, arenât you?â He lowers his gaze to you, waiting expectantly for you to reply.
You nod and pick a piece of dust off your shirt. âOf course.â You reply in a small voice, but Mingi clicks his tongue and shakes his head.
âSay it out loud. Câmon.â You take a small breath and sigh quietly.
âI am capable.â
Mingi smiles and turns away from you once more. âBeautiful. Save the rest of the questions after we set up your payroll.â
He finishes, and he raises his hand and brings up his middle and ring finger, motioning to you in a âcome hitherâ motion, a movement so slow that it seemed dizzyingly suggestive.
âCome now, while weâre still young.â You force your feet to move and follow him further into the house, passing his daughter as she plays on her own world on the couch, completely oblivious to the strange tension that lingered between her father and her new babysitter.
Mingi was intense, authoritative. He knew how he wanted things to be and made sure everyone else stayed in their lane. And you had a weird lingering feeling that nothing good was to come out of stepping that home privacy boundary.Â
But hey, two thousand was two thousand. And maybe you were being greedy, but something much more than money was keeping you from using your fucking brain and getting out of dodge.
He was not good for you, and god he knew it. You both knew it. But if the heat you felt in your lower belly and the racing of your heart were anything to go by, the gut instinct that told you not to walk into the wolfâs den was for sure one that was meant to be ignored.
After a smooth process of connecting your bank account, printing you a house key, and an extensive tour of the home, he sent you home with a thank-you bonus of a few hundred dollars and your schedule for the following week. Monday through Friday, at 3 pm, you would arrive at the Song residence. You would see Mingi off for his night classes and tend to his daughter until he arrived home at 10 pm.
He never mentioned a wife, or any kind of spouse. You had assumed they had most likely divorced, you never saw any picture of a woman around the house, and his daughter never mentioned a mother.
You had considered asking him about it, but something inside of you said that would be overstepping a grand boundary that should not be touched.
While you had Mingiâs morning class, he would only be on campus for those two hours before returning home to spend the rest of his day with his daughter, before the evening whisked him away to work once again. So, of course, you would still see him in class.
And it is so much worse now.
And you couldnât help but feel that he found the whole thing amusing.Â
Teaching the class like normal, writing down key points on the board, reading through articles and poems, and helping everyone pick the words apart. You never called him sir in class; it was always Mr. Song or Professor. He asked you to call him sir, no, demanded that you refer to him as such when you visited his home.
So with a slow raise of your hand, to ask a question that truly meant nothing. He paused his writing to look at you, and he moved back around to continue his writing once you had been acknowledged. âYes, maâam?â He asks, while he finishes the cursive curl of his letter y.
âYou say that symbolism in poetry is entirely up to the readerâs perception, and that we can choose to decipher it any way we see fit. Is that maybe a little too loose in terms of freedom, considering some people might extend their reach of understanding too far to be deemed within the authorâs original intentions?â
It was an innocent question, a good one, maybe perhaps a little random. Mingi turns away from the board, ending the sentence he wrote with a heavy period, a loud thunk against the whiteboard. The edges of the blue ink splatter around the punctuation.
âIt's as I said,â he begins, eyebrows relaxed as he finds you easily at your desk, rolling your pencil eraser over your bottom lip, a curious glaze of intrigue shadowing your eyes. âWhile it is entirely up to the reader, most people are smart enough to gather what the poet is trying to convey. Readers can come up with similar conclusions, but maybe with different rounded edges. There will be similarities, but there can also be differences, all because we perceive everything differently as humans.â He quietly adjusts the knot of his tie, the veins in his hand flushing as he moves.
You find your eyes falling to watch his arm move, his biceps struggling under his sleeves. You smile and nod, bringing your pencil down to your chin and tapping it lightly. âThank you, sir.â
Nobody else catches it; it was so subtle that it wouldnât have mattered to anyone even if they did. But his hand froze around his necktie, and his fingers twitched. His nose scrunched only slightly, and a sharp, quiet inhale made your skin prickle.
He nods quietly and turns back to the board to continue teaching. âAlways with the smart questions.â He murmurs under his breath, and you both clearly knew that the question was about much more than just poetry.
The first day went surprisingly smooth. You arrived at his home early, of course, using your new key to unlock the door and welcome yourself in. His daughter was the first to greet you, running to you and enveloping your legs in a tight hug, her little nails digging into your skin with how hard she held you.
You said hi, all warm smiles and soft tones, only raising your eyes when you feel another pair on you. Standing at the end of the hallway was Mingi, leaning against a doorframe with relaxed ease, his tie loosened and his hair astray. He leaned his head against the white frame, his eyes low as he paid no attention to anything but you. You couldnât read the expression on his face, and all you could feel was pinned. Like he was holding your body down with just his gaze, and it makes your heart kick up.
Then he smirked, a ghost of one if anything. A knowing, small smile that would be easy to ignore if it simply wasnât him. Before you could say or do anything else, the little girl, whose name you learned was Ami, was dragging you away from the foyer, spewing phrases about new toys and complimenting your punctuality.Â
Mingi watches you walk away with his daughter, clasping your hand tight, and your sweet little warm smile returns as you respond to her words with enthusiastic earnestness.
She leads you to the couch, grabs the remote, and asks you to switch on a movie for her.
âCan I borrow your new friend for a second, sweetheart?â Mingi appears behind the back of the couch, his sudden presence nearly startling you out of your skin. He looks down at his daughter with nothing short of pure love, his gaze soft and his tone low and sweet. Ami pouts dramatically and crosses her arms.
Mingi pouts in turn, giving her playful puppy eyes. Then you feel his fingers gently brush the nape of your neck, a slow, gentle caress that was so light it could have been mistaken for a breeze. But it was too warm, too calloused.
âPlease?â he whines with a smile, and his daughter rolls her eyes, setting down the remote with a clatter.Â
âOkay, Daddy, but bring her back.â Her little voice warms your heart, happy that she's taking a great liking to you. You swallow as you feel his fingers slip away from your nape, and you're standing on wobbly legs to follow him as he begins to walk away.
âI promise I will,â he says, blowing her a little kiss, to which she returns with a bright smile. Mingi is leading you away from the living room, and you follow behind with a sort of muted apprehension, and it feels like you are in school again. Like you were being led away by your teacher to talk about poor behavior.
Once youâre back in the foyer, he turns to you, and his soft, parental smile has fallen into something unrecognizable.Â
He pulls a piece of paper out of his jacket pocket and hands it to you. âThis is your list of things that should be maintained and done while watching her. Keeping the place clean, making sure she eats well. Everything weâve already discussed.â You take the list and give it a swift once-over, mentally noting the most important things.
You slip it into your own pocket, raising your head to look at him once more, and for just a split second, you swear you caught his gaze lingering on your neck. âIf you have any questions, my number is also on that piece of paper. Do not call me, but you can message me.â
You nod silently, and he sighs. âCan we work on your verbal confirmation? Use your words, please.â You canât help the almost sour look that flashes across your face, and you quickly gather yourself before exaggeratedly dropping into a flashy curtsy.
âYes, boss, I understand.â You say in a dramatic prim accent, but before you could stand back up straight, you feel his warm, large hand slip beneath your chin, gripping your lower jaw firmly.
Heâs lifting you back up, leaning his head down so close that you feel his breath on your neck, his nose just shy of brushing against your ear. Your breath catches, and his sweet scent clouds your senses, and you could feel your knees start to buckle beneath you. Mingiâs hand keeps its firm hold on your chin as he lowers his voice to a heavy, throaty whisper that makes the skin on your temple tingle.
âTry again, and lose the attitude, gorgeous. You know better.â His breath fans over your ear, and you could physically feel the skin of the back of your neck flare warmly. He squeezes the pads of his fingers against the soft flesh of your cheek a little harder, and the heat blooms across your lower jaw at his tense hold, and you nearly melt into his hand. Your own voice drops to a nervous, shaky whisper, and you exhale slowly out of your nose. It was so quiet you could hear the wristwatch on his hand ticking by your ear.Â
âYes⌠Sir.â You correct yourself quietly, and his hand still doesnât move. Instead, his thumb gently runs over your cheek, a repeated soothing path like heâs trying to lull you to sleep with his caresses. He leans away from your ear, coming face to face with you once more, his nose mere inches from brushing with yours. So close you can see every strand of silver in his hair, every wrinkle at the corners of his eyes, every freckle, and the remaining five o'clock shadow from where he shaved earlier that morning. He smelled of faded cologne and wintergreen mints, and you could hardly stop your eyelids from fluttering.
His thumb moves over your bottom lip, gently pressing down on it like he was admiring how soft you were, taking a mental note of how easy you melt under him. How all he needed to do to get you to act right was to pet you like you were some kind of puppy.
It felt like an eternal standstill by the time he slipped his hand away from your face, and you could still feel the heat of it across your face. It felt so wrong. And god did you want to feel it again.
He turns and fixes his loose tie, slipping his blazer on and adjusting his watch. He walks away, leaving you standing like a dumb fawn, grinning as he opens the front door, his keys jingling in his hand. âDo behave yourself, while rewards and punishments are not handed out in class, my home is an entirely different story.âÂ
And with that final note, the door shuts behind him with a click, and you are left in Mingiâs foyer with your heart in your throat and warmth in your stomach, and your entire body thrumming with what can only be described as anticipation.
-
You and Ami got along well, playing with toys and watching television. There was a small spat when you tried to get her to eat her veggies, but after some bribery with a promise of a packet of gummies, she offered up no more fight.
Putting her to bed was no easy feat either, her only surrendering at the promise of a bedtime story. You sent her off to go pick a book, and she came into her bedroom, trotting proudly with the first installment of the Narnia series.
When you dared to question her lengthy decision, she responded with, âDaddy has been reading this to me every night, weâre on chapter 6, he said you could continue reading it to me.â
You quietly roll your eyes, mumbling to yourself as she begins to tuck herself into bed. âDid he now?â
You didnât complain, and you did find yourself easing into the storytelling, reading with a soft, slow tone to help lull her off to sleep, which didnât take long, especially after a long day of play.
When her breathing evened, and her head went lazy on her neck, you switched off her lamp and set her stuffed zebra next to her arms and left her room, making sure her rainbow night light in the outlet was on.
You shut her door with a quiet click and sighed to yourself. First night done, now all that was left to do was wait for Mingi to arrive home. You pulled your phone out of your back pocket to check the time.
9:03
He was sure to be home anytime soon, so you decided to take the book you were reading with you downstairs. It had pulled you in enough just by that one chapter alone, and you found yourself wanting to read it from the beginning.
Your bare feet padded against the tile floors of the kitchen, the house asleep and silent as you picked a small mandarin out of the fridge. You sat at the kitchen island, gently peeling the citrus fruit as you held the book open with one hand, and began to read.
You found your fingers nimbly peeling the white veins of the orange and dropping them onto the napkin. Engrossed in the book, you slipped slice after slice of mandarin past your lips as you continued to read.
The quiet of his home was so different in comparison to your own. Tucked further towards the countryside, absent from the honking of horns and the screeches of tires. Just the tranquil sound of whistling trees and the occasional creak of the house settling. It was nice, something you could see yourself getting used to.
You werenât sure how long you had been reading for, and it wasnât until you heard the front door shut that you were ripped from your own little world. You hadnât even noticed the jingle of keys in the lock. Your orange was long gone; only the shredded peel remained as he walked past the foyer, straight into the kitchen to see you.
He paused for a moment, taking in your peaceful little moment, then smiling to himself as he began to shed his coat and drape it over the kitchen table chair. âYou look comfy.â He murmurs, loosening his tie.
You swallow a dry patch in your throat, the whole moment reeking of something inappropriately domestic. The low, warm lighting of the overhead oven light. Mingi quietly gets unready after a long day of work, your eyes catching on the way his muscles flex with every movement he makes.
Unclipping his watch and dropping it into the small wooden bowl on the edge of the counter, uncuffing his dress shirt and rolling his sleeves up once again, the hints of a tattoo youâve never had the pleasure of fully seeing peeking underneath the white linen.
Running a large hand through his silver streaked hair, the strands falling around his face in an organized mess as he sighs, a deep and heavy sound that makes your thighs clench underneath the island.
You close the book absentmindedly, dropping your gaze to the counter just as he raises his eyes to look at you, and you clear your throat as you move to stand.
âI see youâre reading Narnia. Ami asked you to read it to her?â His voice was so quiet, so lofty, it made your brain fizz.Â
You nod. âShe ate dinner well, told me she had fun playing with me today. She asked me to read to her, and she was out like a light by the fourth page. It intrigued me, so I decided to give it a gander.â
You raise your head again, gathering your orange peels in your hand and crossing over to the trash can in the corner. Once dropped in the waste, you turned to hand the book back to him. Your arm outstretched, to which he only stood and stared back at you, his eyes dropping over your body in a less than subtle once over.
He finally reaches out and takes the book from you, not without letting his long fingers brush against your knuckles. His two middle fingers slip between the pages, bookmarking the place that you had stopped at. You swallow as he puppy dog ears the page with one hand, before closing the book and setting it on the island.
The muted glow of the oven light shadowed his face in a soft yellow, the rest of him swallowed in the darkness of the home. He was so tall, his body big enough to stand in front of you and effectively block you from being seen by anyone.
âWell, I should be going.â You mutter, nervously wrinkling the corner of your shirt over and over again. âThank you again.â You nod your head respectfully, and yet neither one of you makes any move.
Mingi doesnât move; instead, he lifts his head, lowering his eyes to a half-lidded kind of gaze that makes you feel like you were being preyed on. He sees the tension in your shoulders, the unevenness of your breath, the uncertainty in your eyes, the curiosity in the way your fingers twitch at your side.
The unconscious way your tongue wets your bottom lip, the little vein in your neck that only he could notice.
Then heâs stepping forward, slowly, just enough to have you closer. Smell you, smell him. Not too inappropriate, but maybe not professional.
âI should be thanking you, darling.â His hand reaches out, oh so slowly, just enough to give you time to back away if you want. You donât. His index finger finds a curl at the front of your head, gently twirling it around the tip of his finger, his eyes on yours.
A gaze so warm, so mistakenly hungry, you swore you were hallucinating. He watched you visibly melt, your lip forming into a parted pout, a beckon. A silent ask.
His finger moves away from the curl of your hair, dances along the side of your neck, brushes down with featherlight gentleness against the side of your throat, a tickling sensation that has your body shivering.
His eyebrows knotted together like he was conflicted, like he was battling an inner ache, one that he was holding himself back from showing.
You couldnât take it. You simply couldnât.Â
Your brain hadnât caught up to your body, but before you could second-guess yourself, your hands shot out and gripped the collar of his dress shirt, dragging his head down and crashing your lips into his.
No words, no gasp, just a wanton moan that slips past your lips and against his.
Mingi growls from the back of his throat, a sound of sheer surprise, nearly losing his footing underneath him. He rips his head back, his eyes wide and his breathing coming labored.
You freeze, your hands holding nothing but air as he pulls himself away from you. Your heart dropped to your stomach. A look of pure fear on your face as you realized he didnât reciprocate.Â
Fuck. Fuck.
A conflicted look flashes across your professorâs face, and he looked like he was about to give you what for. You screwed up.
You immediately open your mouth, ready to spew pathetic attempts at apologies and pleas for forgiveness. But he beats you to it.
âWhat the hell is wrong with you?â His gravely voice comes out strained and low, and a painful silence begins to stretch between you two.
Then, he bites his inner cheek, his hand lifts and slips his glasses off his face, all but letting them fall onto the counter, groaning low and sonorous, and heâs on you before you could breathe.Â
His hands slip around and grip either side of your waist, a tight, possessive hold as he slots his lips with yours, melting against your mouth like you tasted like a heaven heâd never get into.
His hands roam up and down your waist, his mouth opening and closing against yours, sliding his tongue over yours, and running it over your teeth. Moaning, sighing into your mouth, his eyebrows knit together in nothing short of pure bliss.
Your hands find his shoulders, your neck beginning to hurt from having to crane your head up to kiss him. All heat behind your tongues, warmth and wetness against each other as you feel a thin trail of drool slipping down the corner of your mouth.
Then heâs lifting you, picking you up off the ground, and dropping you on your ass on the kitchen island. Merely eye level with him, he kisses you deeper, shoving his tongue further down your throat, tilting his head to the side to completely devour you.Â
Your hands drag down the front of him, your palms flat against his chest, whimpering against his lips in tandem with his starved movements. A quiet âbabyâ is murmured around your tongue, and your entire body erupts into consuming flames.
His hands slip down and find either of your thighs, spreading them pretty and wide as he slots his lower body between them, pushing his body closer to your between your legs.
His hand moves back up and cups the back of your head, the other trailing up the front of your body and finding a grounding home at the base of your neck, pulling your head further into him as he takes like the greedy man he was.
Kissing the college girl on the counter as she tasted like bourbon, squeezing your flesh like it was keeping him sane, melting at the soft, needy moans that flowed down his throat from your reactions to his touch.
It was a breathless, taboo kind of lust that only people sick in the head can get a kick out of. And if this makes Mingi a sick man, then so fucking be it. He finds himself lost in the sweetness of your lips, the arch in your back. His hand trails down the side of your waist, warm and big as he finds the flesh of your thigh again, squeezing and pressing the softness, moaning at how smooth your skin feels in comparison to his rough hands.
His hand slips up the leg of your shorts, and warmth blooms on your skin, your body shivers as you lean further into him, your kisses turning needy, dangerously feral.
Itâs your whiny, low moan that nearly undoes him. And the way your hands slide up to help further loosen his tie. But while he may not be a good man, heâs not a bad one either. With a type of restraint only a soldier could have, Mingi pulls away from your shiny, swollen lips, a thin trail of saliva between you both snapping silently.
Your heavy breaths mingle together, and he rests his forehead against yours, the hand on your neck slowly sliding away, and his other hand moving from your bare thigh to firmly place them flat on either side of your spread thighs, loosely caging your body against the island.
You say nothing, only fighting to catch your breath as your dizzy brain struggles to catch up. He looks down at the floor, the bulge in his pants loud and proud and fucking painful.
With a deep sigh, he turns away, wiping his mouth with the palm of his hand as he mutters a deep âfuckâ beneath his breath.
You slowly crawl off the counter, realizing that you need to go. Now.
âI-Iâll see you tomorrow, Min- uh... Professor Song. Sir-âYou stutter over your words, a foggy layer of need clouding your mind after having been kissed like he was trying to eat you alive.
Mingi seethes, inhaling sharply as he raises a hand to get you to keep quiet.
âStop- goddamnit. Sweetheart, donât call me âsirâ right now unless- unless you want me to fuck you against that wall.â You swallow, and it takes everything in your power not to get on your knees and beg for just that.
He could practically smell your hesitation, and it nearly made his entire body erupt into a muted shiver. You nibble on your bottom lip, he could see the way you nervously shake, and you open your mouth to respond, but he just knew what you were going to say, and he did not need to hear it right now.
âOh, babygirl, you shouldnât want that.â He ignores your pretty little glazed-over eyes and your frizzy hair that he messed up with his own two hands.
The addicting way you held onto him with your smaller hands, arching your back into him and keening into his touch, crying out as it hurt for every second he let you breathe.
âAnd neither should I.â He mumbles like he was trying to convince himself too.
Mingi massages his upper jaw, exhaling heavily out of his nose before he turns away from you again, truly believing that if he looked at you one more time, he wouldnât be able to compose himself. Forty-something years old, and one of his students is making him feel things he hasnât felt since high school.Â
âGo home.â He commands, his bassy, breathless voice sending a shockwave straight between your legs. When you donât immediately move, Mingi clenches his jaw and slightly turns his neck, giving you a glimpse of the turmoil on his face.Â
âNow.â He bites out, and before you could form another thought, your body was moving.
You grab your things off the living room coffee table and slip out of the house, speeding off to your car and pulling off into the cricket-filled night, confused, turned on, and conflicted.
It was only the first day, and the walls were already crumbling.Â
-
The following week was torture. Dragging yourself out of bed after being kept up all night with ludicrous dreams, dreams of what couldâve happened if you two didnât stop. Panties sticky and eyes heavy, you crawl out of bed and dread having to face him every day.
It went the same every day; you arrived, maybe a little later than usual. You avoided every look he shot your way, and you never asked any questions. Just listened and took notes, silently. And when it was time to watch his daughter, heâd be out the front door by the time your car pulled into the driveway, walking past you in silence as you effectively traded places.
You both knew it was for your own good, to keep whatever had been brewing between you two at bay, even if it was never explicitly stated. You had hardly said a word to your professor since that first day. But your eyes said everything.
His, too, god if you both couldnât be subtle. Heâd sit at his desk, watching you click away at your laptop, your leg bouncing beneath the table as you nibbled on your nail. He imagined things about you, things that made him have to adjust his pants before he stood to continue teaching.
And when he arrived home early? Fuck it was even worse. Heâd quietly sneak in the front door and catch you and Ami on the couch, her head lying on her lap with her blanket tight in her grasp.
You read to her in a soothing, quiet voice, and gently, your hand stroked the top of her head, playfully brushing your fingers over her face like you were trying to convince her to close her eyes, all with a beautiful smile on your face.
Your pretty pout, your mothering voice, your frizzy hair, and your soft body. God, it makes him so hard it hurts. That night, he announced himself and offered to take Ami off to bed himself, and by the time he made it downstairs, you were already in your car and pulling out of the driveway. It was better this way anyway, Mingi would tell himself. But better for whom? And for what?
Why was this so wrong?
His morale was beginning to chip away, and with each passing hour, each passing day, it was getting harder and harder to keep his hands off of you. And he could tell you felt the same. Your lingering looks and the way your thighs would clench when your gazes met in the lecture room.
Saturday night. You did not go to class that day; therefore, you did not see him. But you would have to later. He always travels to campus on Saturday night to get any extra work done. A workaholic, you called him once. And it was true.
So when you arrived at his front door once again, you tried with every bone in your body to act normal. Unlocking the entrance, you walked inside the now familiar home and stopped in your tracks when you noticed him. Standing in the hallway entrance, like he was waiting for you.
His eyes are low, and his body seems tense. Wearing a form-fitting black dress shirt today, the top two buttons undone. Something more casual for the weekend. A small silver necklace with a dog tag pendant disappeared beneath the collar, and you could see the print of the tag through his shirt. His hair was messier, and his glasses were clasped loosely in his hand.
You breathe quietly, then he's walking towards you. Just as you think heâs going to stop, he walks right past you and reaches for his watch in the little brown bowl. âAmi is down for a nap; if sheâs not up by five, go ahead and rouse her.â
He slips on the timepiece, then slides his glasses onto his face, letting them sit low on the bridge of his nose. You nod in acknowledgment, and he's already made his way to the front door, his car keys jingling on his fingers.
Just as you think heâs going to leave, he pauses, his hand hovering above the knob.
âAnd keep your hands out of my liquor cabinet, young lady.â Now that makes your heart stop. You may have indulged one night after you put Ami to bed, just a couple shots, nothing too concerning. But he had noticed, of course, he had.
When you don't reply, he turns back to you and raises his eyebrows in a scrutinizing question. âNext time, have enough manners to ask. That stuff is not cheap, sweetheart.â The pet name had a bite to it, and you canât help but want to bite back.
He turns, opens the door, and takes one step outside.
âIâm so sorry, sir. Iâll ask politely next time.â You speak the words with a ghost of a moan enveloping them, and you could see the way his shoulders tense and his hands squeeze the doorknob harder.Â
Mingi inhales sharply and keeps his head forward. The silence stretches so long and thin you think time might have frozen. And when he speaks next, it sends electricity through your blood, and you can't deny the way you feel your skin tingle.
He laughs, a slow, soft chuckle. âKeep that shit up, (Name),â he challenges, adjusting the straps of his watch in one swift movement. âI can be a bad man if you need me to.â Then the door is shutting behind him, a loud click that rivals the pounding of your heart in your ears.
The house is silent once again, and you are left alone with your racing thoughts and a really, really stupid fantasy in your mind that makes you feel like the nastiest bitch on earth.
-
The bottoms of your feet felt like they were burning, and the floors of his house were frigid. The heat of your body rivaled the still quiet of the house, Ami put to bed, leaving you as the only soul awake inside.
Mingi would be home any minute. And it was at this moment that you needed to make a decision. You werenât sure what you were going to do, or rather, you werenât sure what he was going to do.
Or what he wanted to do.Â
You felt trapped in a home with no lock, like there was no escape. The windows were unbreakable, and the walls were too thick. You were a trapped animal who did not want to leave in the first place.
You could argue that you were a dumb, naive little girl who didnât know her way in the world, who couldnât pick up on the signs that her professor wanted to fold her in half and show her what it felt like to be ruined by a real man.
Youâd be such a liar, because thatâs the one thing that you wanted. You were stupid for wanting this. And Mingi wholeheartedly believed that.
He believed that your wanting him was complete ignorance of consequences, turning a blind eye to plenty of boys who were perfect for a sweet girl such as yourself.
Choosing a man, one that would not care how much you cried those pretty tears, a man that would fuck you until you werenât able to tell where you ended and he began.
And it was taking everything in his power as he climbed into his car after work that night to not drive himself off the bridge as he drove. Because that would be the sole and only way to stop himself from pouncing on you as soon as he stepped through the front door.
You lie on his bed. In his room. Invading his space without a care in the world as you took in his abode. Neat, clean-smelling, suffocating. Being in there felt like you couldnât move a muscle without the walls closing in on you.
He strictly told you his room was off limits, that you had no business in there. He would come home, and he would find you in there, the doe on the wrong edge of the forest. And he would hunt you then and there, because you stepped into his territory, and the rules were painted in red on his sheets.
When Mingi first stepped foot into the house that night, he was surprised to find you missing from your usual place at the kitchen island. Reading a book, having a snack. Waiting for him so politely.
You werenât in the living room, you werenât in Amiâs room. The guest room, either. Were you hiding from him? He sighed and set his briefcase on the kitchen table, loosening his tie with a groan and setting his watch in the wooden bowl.Â
You could hear him from upstairs, the familiar sounds of him getting unready. You shifted in his sheets and sat up straight, straining your ears to listen for him.Â
Footsteps, the clack of the metal plates beneath his shoes, resonated throughout the house like gunfire. The sounds of them ascending the stairs, before the silence of his footfalls as he hit the carpet. He was upstairs.
Immediately, you began to second-guess your decision to be in here. Your choice to take this job. Hell, your choice to take his class to begin with. It was all too risky, too grey.Â
Silence again, and you could only feel your heart beating in your ears.
âI sure hope youâre not in there, doll.â His voice was so much closer that you could see his shadow through the crack beneath the door. His voice penetrated the walls of his room like a dark kind of fire, and it rattled your bones.
He could hear you. Hear you shift your weight on his sheets after he addressed you. He could hear you stand, hear you walk to the door, and stop in front of it like you were scared to walk any further.
âYouâre not supposed to be in my room, you know better.â His tone was tinged with a disappointed, disciplinary note. Mingi teases you by lightly shaking the doorknob, and you nearly jump out of your skin. Why were you so nervous? You had no idea.
You know better. One of his favorite things to say to you. It was true after all. You do know better, but it doesnât mean you acted like it.
Mingi wouldnât admit it. Not to you, not to himself either. But he was having so much fun with you. You awakened this dangerous excitement in him that made him want to make all the wrong choices.
He wanted to bend you over his knee and punish you for affecting him the way you did. He wanted to bury his fingers deep in your hair and pull like he was trying to steer you about at his discretion while he worked you inside and out.
Mingi wanted to lay your body out and make you cum so many times youâd have to drop out of his class because every time you laid eyes on him, you would still feel him in your belly.
You made him feel alive, and at his age, that was a dangerous thing.
When you didnât respond to him, he lowered his voice to a small, gentle coax, like he was trying to convince you he was no threat. âListen, sweetheart, youâre not in trouble.â It was like he was using his dad voice on you, and you hated that it made you freeze and your heart flutter.
âI just want to talk to you. So are you going to come out of my room? Or am I going to have to come get you myself?â
Your hand hovered over the knob, and just as you dropped it to twist it open, you stopped. Your brain reeled in your skull, and you backed away from the door with small, quiet steps.
When Mingi realized you wouldnât be opening the door, he couldnât help but smile. So typical of someone so young and fresh-blooded like you.
You wanted to be found, you wanted to be desired, you wanted to be chased. You wanted Mingi to open that door and make you regret your decision not to listen to him.Â
You didnât use your manners and ask with your big girl words, but donât worry, heâd come in there and set you straight.
Just as you were starting to second-guess yourself, the knob twists, and the door makes no sound. No creak, no squeal on the hinges. Just a silent, slow invitation. The warm light of the stairwell flooded the floor of the dark bedroom, like a spill of orange oil. He stepped in, reached back, and shut the door closed once more with a muted click, and darkness shrouded the room again.
The silence stretched as he stalked towards you; with every step he took, you took one back.
With every step he removed something. His shoes came first, then he reached up and slipped his glasses off his nose, setting them on the dresser he passed by.
His tie was next, his big veiny hands untying it gracefully and wrapping it around the palm of his hand like a leash, teasingly, before he let it hit the floor.
One by one until you were backed against the wall by his headboard. His smell surrounded you like mustard gas, his body shadowed over you like a monster, and his eyes pierced through the dark like a hunter. You barely contained your trembling once he was close enough to touch, close enough to melt into.
His big, rough hands find your wrists, gently gripping them and sliding his palms up your inner arms, over your shoulders, to the back of your neck. He cupped your nape like he was trying to cradle your head from injury, so gentle and so loving.Â
He squeezed softly, stepping further into you, pressing his body against yours, molding your front with his. His head craned down, and he maneuvered your neck to train your eyes on him. In the dark, everything felt more intense. His touch on your neck burned, the way his thumbs stroked along the edges of your jaw, and his blunt fingernails scraped against your nape.
He inhaled deeply, like he was trying to calm himself.Â
âAsking for permission really isnât your style is it?â He spits out the words like a reprimand, and he could feel you shiver under his touch when he said it. You had tears in your eyes, you looked like you had just dropped your lollipop, and you wanted to cry. You were so pretty.
You felt him everywhere, in your ribcage and in your head; he smelled so good. The silver in his hair glimmered from the lamp in the far corner. You heard a roll of thunder in the distance that sounded like Mingiâs moans. The onpour of rain that hit the roof like a broken television.
He looked so beautiful in the dark.
âWe can fix that.â
While one hand remained on your neck, the other slid away, along your jaw, up the front of your throat, until you felt his fingers prod against your pouted lips. You opened with zero hesitation, and he slid his middle and ring fingers into your mouth, laying them flat on your tongue.Â
Oh, so slowly, he glides his fingers in and out of your pretty little mouth, pushing just far enough against the back of your tongue to make the tears in your eyes finally fall. âSuch a nasty, pretty baby.â His eyes fell like he was entranced by you, your compliance, and the way you shook like a deer. His eyebrows knit together like he was trying to memorize you, everything about you.
He presses his fingers up, and your canines gently sink into the flesh, and it makes his skin tingle. Back down across your tongue, breaching the back of your mouth, gagging around him with a sad little choke.
He slips his fingers out of your mouth, and you hardly notice the saliva that connected to him, with how you could not pull your eyes away from his face. With a patience that drives you both mad, he trails his hand down the front of your body, over the swell of your breasts beneath your shirt, down to the waistband of your shorts.
He presses his hand at the back of your neck harder, forcing your forehead to collide with his. Nowhere to run as he slips his hand into your shorts.
âYou wanna be nasty?â he whispers against your lips, and you catch yourself nodding. You didnât even mean to, but he finds it so amusing.
Your entire body jerks when you feel his wet fingertips slide beneath your panties and brush over your lips, lifting the slightest bit, finding your clit with such quick ease you could hardly believe it.
Your hands shoot up and fist the front of his shirt, and your eyelids widen then flutter as he presses against that sensitive bundle of nerves, a gentle press and prod as he circles against your clit with teasing intent.
When Mingi watched you practically melt at the simplest of his touches, he felt the confessions start to rear at the backs of his teeth. The urge to tell you everything you may or may not want to hear.
His breath ghosts over your parted lips, his fingers making mind-numbing work of your clit, rotating movement and pressurized strokes that made your thighs shake around his wrist. With a deep breath, he pressed his lips to yours, slipping his thick tongue into your mouth and groaning down your throat.
His fingers claw at the back of your neck, tracing intimate patterns into your mouth, as his fingers dance away from your clit, and gently he prods at your dripping entrance. He coats his fingers in your arousal, and he presses his thigh between your legs to spread you further for him.
âYouâre such a pretty little thing.â He whispers into your mouth, and you gasp against him when he slowly fills your soaked cunt with one thick finger, and you feel your eyes roll when he presses so deep and curls up just right. He circles the pad of his finger against that spongy spot, and he purrs into your mouth when your hands on his shirt tighten even more.
âI drive myself crazy thinking about you at night.â Slow, deep come-hither motions inside of you that had your breath coming in broken shudders. âIâd think about kissing you silly, holding you down, playing with you, having that smart mouth of yours moaning for me instead of giving me lip.â
You shiver as he slips a second finger inside of you, a slight stretch that had your knees buckling, but he kept you up by the back of your neck, fully pushing his body against yours and holding you still against his bedroom wall. You moan whiny and pathetic as he slips his thumb up and gently circles it against your clit, all the while his fingers keep curling nice and deep inside you.
âWould you like that?â He murmurs, pulling away from your lips and gently kissing below your ear, breathing lowly against the side of your neck. Your skin shivers as his voice brushes over your ear, and you can hardly control the way your body responds to him so effortlessly, like he has an invisible leash on you.
You nod, muttering out a pathetic âyes.â Mingi pressed the tip of his nose against your neck and pressed his lips against your skin so you could feel them move when he talked. âWords, sweet girl. Havenât I already told you this?â
It was hard to form words while he was fingerfucking you so well, so deep it was making your stomach cave in, but the need for more outweighed everything else. âY-yes, sir.â You whimpered, and you felt your chest flutter when he groaned lowly against your ear, a guttural, primal sound that had you clenching around his fingers.
He leans away from your neck with a fleeting kiss, moving his hand from the back of your neck around to the front. Squeezing at the base of your throat, his fingers pressing on those sensitive, soft spots on the side that started making your eyes darken at the corners. His fingers pressed harder, deeper, coaxing inside of you with purpose that was making you go insane with bliss.
Your hands frantically grasped at anything you could, his wrist, his shirt, his belt, anything you could to ground yourself as he pushed you towards that orgasm. He held your throat nice and tight, and you were choking on moans as he fucked you with his thick fingers, and he breathed heavily against your lips. The grip on your neck kept your head in place for him, and as your eyes began to roll to the back of your head, he pressed against those soft spots a little harder.
âEyes, darling, eyes,â he commands in a breathless moan, and you tear your eyes from the back of your head to look at him, and it nearly undoes you. His fingers are relentlessly curling deep in your pussy, his big warm hand squeezing your throat just tight enough to make your body feel all fuzzy. His dark, begging eyes make your stomach clench, his guiding, baritone voice making your whimpers slip out involuntarily.
âYou wanna cum?â He whines against your lips, just lightly loosening his grip on your neck to allow you to respond. âAsk me nicely.â
âYes, fuck- pleaseâŚâ You moan hoarsely, and Mingi takes his bottom lip between his teeth.
âSo you do have manners.â He teases, his thumb brushing upwards against your clit as the grip on your throat tightens once more. âCum then, baby. Let it go, make a mess for me.â The corners of your vision bleed into something dark, and he lowers his mouth to take your lips with his again, moaning softly into your mouth, his eyes never leaving yours.Â
âCome on, come onâŚ.â he barely whispers into the kiss, and you cannot deny him even if you tried. His fingers never cease, only slowing as he does his very best to prolong your orgasm like some kind of torture method. His fingers curl and prod, rolling inside of you as your orgasm rocks your body, a feeling so intense you feel like you are shattering from the inside out.
âThats it, that's it. Donât stop.â He keeps kissing you, fucking your cunt with his fingers, squeezing your throat just hard enough you feel like you might have been on the brink of passing out.Â
Mingi rides you through it, the restraint in his movements starting to slip away the more he sees of you. His hand on your throat moves away and slips beneath your shirt, up and over your smooth stomach, around to the warm skin of your waist. Up until his hand slips beneath your bra and cups the swell of your breast. So soft beneath his calloused palms, he finds that he canât stop his fingers inside of you, massaging your chest and continuing to fingerfuck you through the overstimulation.
âWait-â you whine out, interrupted by your own moans. Mingi reaches behind your back and finds the clasp of your bra with more surprising ease. It falls loose beneath your shirt, and he maneuvers your shirt over your head. He catches your surprise, and it only makes his cock twitch at your sweet expression.
âIâm a grown man, (Name).â He speaks against your cheek, slipping the straps of your bra down your arms until it falls onto his floor. âNone of this is new to me, baby.â Finally, he slips his fingers out of your cunt, and the slick sound it made was embarrassing. He gives you no time to quell on it as he slides his fingers into his mouth and cleans your mess off him with a hungry moan.
His other hand makes quick work of the buttons of his shirt. One by one, unclipping the silver buttons until it's completely open. As he reaches for his belt, the clank of the metal makes your thighs clench. He cocks his head to the side, running his tongue over his bottom lip.
âLie down,â he instructs, as he undoes his belt. The dark of the room shrouds his face, and a loud rumble of thunder rolls, much closer this time. You can hardly move at first, your eyes trailing down his body. Toned, the grey and black happy trail that disappears beneath the waistband of his pants is tantalizing.
You swallow and slowly sit on the edge of the bed, but Mingi doesnât give you the chance to lie back on your own. Once he loosens his belt, heâs leaning over you and caging you in. His hands find your waist as he inches you further up the bed and pushes you onto your back. You stare at the dog tag on his necklace that swings back and forth as he sets you up how he wants.Â
His thighs, thick and strong, cage either side of your legs as he leans down, his hands massaging up your sides like he was trying to soothe you to sleep. He kisses between the valley of your breasts, down your chest, and along your stomach, all the while his hands make their way further down to the waistband of your shorts, teasing you with his fingers slipping beneath them as he worships your body.
âSo soft.â He mumbles between kisses as he slips your shorts down your legs and off onto his floor. âSo pretty, so sweet.âÂ
When his fingers hook on your panties, he moans and nibbles on the flesh of your stomach, and your entire body tenses as he slips off the final piece of clothing.Â
Down your legs, off your feet, and onto the floor. Heâs quick to sink to his knees at the edge of the bed, hooking his big, strong arms around your lower waist and pulling you to the edge of the bed, just enough to where your ass nearly hangs off.
He signals you with his hands, making a grabbing motion. You watch and slowly give your hands to him, and he laces his fingers with yours and holds your hands down against your abdomen.
Your thighs hang over his broad shoulders, his face inches away from your dripping cunt, and Mingiâs eyes bore into yours as he places a soft, gentle kiss against your mound.
You whimper in anticipation, and his hands squeeze yours harder, your limbs twitching at his pinning gaze.
âYou want my mouth, honey?â He teases, blowing a stream of cold air against you, your thighs twitching around his head.Â
âFuck⌠please?â You beg lowly, and he gently lets his tongue loll out of his mouth, splitting your lips with a low laugh. When you jerk at the feel of his warm tongue, he tugs your hands harder against your stomach and trails his tongue up to circle your clit.
âStop squirming, and take it for me.â He opens his mouth and takes your sensitive nub into his mouth, running his tongue over it and sucking it like heâs been deprived for months. Which technically wasnât a lie. He had dreams of your taste, dreamed of the reactions he could drag out of you with his mouth.
Your moans come out high-pitched and cracked, his warm mouth working your poor pussy out like his favorite meal. Obscene, sloppy noises as he fucks you open with his mouth. Detaching from your clit and burying himself between your thighs even further. His nose nudges the nerves while his tongue slips inside of you. Tasting you, drinking you, making you cry like a baby while he ruins you.
âF-fuck⌠too much-!â You were so sensitive after his fingers fucking you stupid just mere minutes before, and now his thick tongue is filling you like no other, his pretty big nose pressing up against your clit so perfectly it was insane.Â
He lets go of your hands, just to take both your wrists in one hand while the other flattens against your stomach, trailing down along your inner thigh, before gently sliding between your slick pussy lips.
âFuck, you taste incredible, such a wet mess.â He wraps his lips around your clit and slides his coated fingers inside of you once again, and your voice shatters when she curls them perfectly. The stimulation of his mouth and the feel of his fingers pressing and kneading, your wrists twist and turn in his grasp, but he makes no move to let you go. He only squeezes tighter. He groans around your clit, and your mouth falls open as the vibrations of his voice send sparks flying in your brain.
Moaning like he could feel it himself, slow, coaxing motions of his fingers against your walls that had your eyes rolling, the tip of his tongue circling your clit just enough to have you tethering that edge.
âGood girl⌠good girlâŚâ he coos, his voice muffled as he focuses on getting you to cum again. âFeel me, focus on me, pretty baby. GodâŚâ
He was getting off on your frantic movements, your endless amounts of arousal that seemed to gush from you. The way you clenched around his fingers when his voice vibrated around your clit.
âYouâre right there.â He encourages, shaking his head back and forth against your cunt, your arousal slipping down his chin and coating his lips, the wet slurping sounds so nasty and vile.
âKeep working for me, you're so close.â Mingi talks you through it, pulling away from your clit and littering wet kisses against your tummy. âRock your hips, tell me what feels good, let me hear you.â
You choke out a broken cry, and heâs tempted to let up just so you can quiet down, but heâs addicted to you, and he couldnât stop even if he tried.
âU-up..â you stutter out, and he wastes no time. Gently, he moves his fingers inside of you, nudging them upwards a little more. He feels it, your body tense and your cunt clench, and you let out a low groan.
âThere⌠right thereâŚâ You exhale, and he presses up against that spot, circling the tip of his fingers against it repeatedly, instead of thrusting them. A constant, mind-numbing pressure that feels so good it hurts.
âYeah, there we go.â He grits out, bringing his tongue down and flicking it up against your clit in soft kitten licks, a slow light, warm pressure that makes your hips jerk to chase it more.
You try to cry out, beg for more, but the harder his fingers pressed, the less you could remember English. Your breaths were whiny, and your voice kept cracking, and you were so close to cumming again.
âI'm going to count you down, darling.â His low voice pulls a low wail from your chest, and you try to move your hands to grab his head to push him further against you, just to remember he had you restrained.Â
âYou can cum your brains out when I get to one, okay? Can you do that for me?â
You nod your head frantically, your hips bucking against his tongue that oh so gently teases your clit. Mingi smiles and nibbles your sensitive nerves playfully, and then he starts to increase the pressure of his fingertips against your G-spot.
â10.â You cry out when he runs his tongue along your inner thigh, up and down, a teasing motion against the sensitive skin that makes your entire body flare with heat. â9⌠8⌠7âŚâ
With every number he bites you. Sinking his teeth into your thigh, your stomach, your clit, anything his mouth could reach between your legs. And all the while, his fingers never stop curling.
â6⌠5⌠uh uh. Câmon, baby, get a hold of yourself, not yet.â He feels you clench hard, your moans getting breathy. He knows youâre so close, he can hear it in your tears. But he gave you a command, and he expects you to follow it.
âYou can do it⌠4.â He wraps his lips around your clit one more time, and this time he lets out long, drawn-out groans that come from deep in his chest, the quiver of his voice stimulating your clit so perfectly you thought you wouldnât make it.
â3âŚ2⌠c'mon baby, make it good. Cum yourself stupid for me, okay? For me⌠please?âÂ
God, when he whines. It hurts your head. You force yourself to breathe, the knot in your stomach tighter than ever. He lets go of your wrists, and immediately, your hands fly and bury themselves in his soft hair. His now free hand snakes underneath your thigh and hikes it further up his shoulder, prying you open as your legs begin to close around his skull.
His tough fingers sink into the soft flesh, and he drags his tongue over your clit in repeated, pressured waves.
â1⌠go ahead, baby, cum for me. Donât hold back, give it to me. Let me have you.â You shatter, instantaneously. It hurt, it felt amazing. Your entire body locks up, his hand on your thigh, squeezing so hard it was sure to bruise, his fingers coax and prod, dragging you through it.
He moans around your clit, and you feel like youâve been shocked with volts of electricity. Your fingers grip his hair at his scalp, the intensity of your orgasm nearly knocking you out.Â
He laps at your pussy, drinking up the slick that spills from you, and you find yourself limp beneath him, regaining your breath as he cleans you up greedily during the aftershocks. Purely for his own enjoyment, it seems. He could watch you do that all day. He finds himself wondering if youâve ever squirted before.
He rests back on his haunches, taking in your body below him. Squirming and soaked, begging for his hands and for his mouth.Â
âYouâre so fucking bad for me.â Mingi breathes out in barely controlled disbelief, like your very being was something unhealthy while he was on a diet.
Heâs leaning back over you and letting one hand slip around your body, pressing against your lower back to arch you a bit, his other hand unbuttoning his pants with hurried precision.
His lips swallow yours in a hungry moan, tilting his head and kissing you long and deep and frantic, your heavy breaths brushing against each other, his warm tongue running over yours in a cannibalistic kind of hunger.
âYouâre making me such a bad, bad man, baby.â Mingi coos into the kiss, and while heâs kissing you into a fever, you feel something warm and heavy press against your stomach. Slowly, he grinds his hips against you, humping his cock against your belly.
You can tell two things immediately. Number one. Mingi was feral. The kiss was all teeth and drool, not giving you one second to breathe. The hand on your back is moving back up and gripping the back of your neck to help maneuver your head in the best way to kiss you as deep as possible.
And two. He felt so fucking huge.
Not to mention the mere size of him as he is, his broad shoulders shielding you from even being able to see the ceiling of his bedroom itself. But you can feel his cock twitch against your flesh. Long, so much so it reaches past your belly button, thick, hot. He was gonna split you in half, there was no doubt about it.
When he finally gives you a moment to breathe, heâs taking his other hand and grabbing the underside of your thigh, lifting it and maneuvering your leg over his shoulder, your ankle resting next to his head.
Spreading you nice and pretty, he reaches back down and grabs the base of his cock, setting it between your drooling lips, twitching against your clit, and you groan loudly into the space.
He gently moves his hips through your folds, a slow, slick glide as he lubes himself up with your arousal, moaning low and deep as he coats himself with you. His hand drags up your body, grabbing every inch of flesh he can before his hand is cupping over your mouth, pressing down nice and hard.
Your eyes widen as his hips never cease their movement, only gliding even smoother the wetter the length of his cock gets. He leans down to press his lips against your ear, and he kisses it lightly, his shaky breath fanning over you.
âShhâŚshh.â he coos, and he cock jumps when he feels your moans vibrate beneath his palm. He litters the side of your neck with wet kisses, and your entire body shivers as you realize that no matter what you do, you cannot move.
He has you pinned against his mattress with the strength of his own body, holding you down with his weight. He feels you shake, and he swears he feels your cunt get even wetter, and heâs barely holding back the primal urge to pound you into his bed until you cry for him to stop.
âNot gonna use a condom with you, baby, Iâm going to give it to you raw, maybe fuck some manners into your head while Iâm at it.â Mingi groans nice and low against your ear, and then heâs finally sinking his cock into you, nice and slow. Stretching your pretty little pussy out as torturously as he can manage.
When you squeal beneath his hand, he shakes his head and leans back, his eyes lock with your watery ones as he clicks his tongue.
âNo baby noâŚ.â He purrs, but he doesnât stop sinking into you, pressing his hand further against your drooling mouth. âYou have to be quiet, okay? Please?â He begs in a low, whiny tone. You can feel every vein of him graze against your pulsing walls, your tears spill down your cheeks and flow over his knuckles, and he whispers sweet nothings to you as he seems to sink into you endlessly.
âSuch a pretty crier, darling.â
âAlmost there, just a little more, beautiful slutty girl, taking me so well.â
His fingers are wet with your tears, and he canât quite bottom out yet; he has to fuck himself deeper into you.
âAlright, I need you to be a good girl for me and keep that pretty mouth shut, Iâm gonna fuck you now, okay?â You whine with a broken cry, and heâs pulling his hips back, sliding the length of him out of you, and then sliding right back in with a moan you can feel in your chest. Your legs shake as he pushes himself just a little deeper this time, and your belly feels full of him.
âYeah, you've been wanting me to mess this pussy up, huh, baby?â Mingiâs free hand finds the base of your throat once more, helping keep you quiet by limiting your airflow. And you tighten around him so much that he has to pause because he physically cannot move any further.
He laughs lowly, and he peeps the way your eyelids flutter, and you seem to have drunk haze over your eyes. One hand over your mouth, so large he practically has your entire jaw in his grip. The other with a grounding hold on your throat, just tight enough to make you a little dumb. His entire body presses down against yours, pinned beneath him, so helpless.
His cock thick, heavy, and deep in your guts, slow, mean strokes that make your drool pool in the back of your throat.
He grins, and then heâs pressing himself deeper into your cunt, and you moan gutturally against his palm.Â
âNasty little girl. You like not being able to breathe when I fuck you? Huh?â You donât answer, of course, just moan and whine as he fucks his cock into you, deep and slow.Â
Your muscles start to tense from the pressure, your leg straightening over Mingiâs shoulder as the pleasure absolutely sweeps you away beneath his warm body.
âYour legs are locking up, baby.â He murmurs, pressing his lips to the crook of your neck and inhaling deeply. âCâmon, relax, youâre gonna hurt yourself.â He teases you, even while drilling his cock into you like he was insatiable.
Then heâs slipping his hand underneath your knee, bending your leg forward, and pressing it against your chest. You cry out, and suddenly heâs sinking in ever deeper, and you feel so incredibly full. His hand slips away from your mouth for just a moment to hook beneath your other knee, and pushes it up to your chest as well, folded underneath your professor like some kind of doll.
You choke out an overstimulated sob, and once heâs able to hold both your legs down against your body with his chest, his hand is back on your mouth to keep your noises down.Â
He stops moving his hips and shivers, the new angle having you so much tighter around his cock, and with your knees up to your shoulders, making you look so small, heâs seconds away from losing it.
âS-SirâŚâ you whine beneath his palm, your cries muffled and your breath hot against his skin. Mingiâs cock jumps inside of you when he feels your voice against his hand, and he drops his head by your neck with a shaky, low moan.
âIâm sorry, pretty baby.â He murmurs in your ear, and then he starts to move again. âItâs okay, youâre okay.â
This time, heâs kissing spots so deep you feel him in your ribcage. His tip scraping that perfect spot that makes your muscles cramp, and your throat catches.Â
âAm I too big for you?â He smiles against the flared skin of your throat, pulling his hips all the way back, tantalizingly slow enough to force you to feel every thick inch of him stroke in and out of your walls.
He leans away from your neck and looks at you, your eyes fluttering and your nose flaring as he slowly eases into a meaner pace, nearly pounding your cunt like he couldnât control himself.
âLook at me, baby,â Mingi mumbles softly, and when you donât respond, he squeezes your jaw harder, and your eyes shoot open. âI said, look at me, right here.â His voice is rougher this time, commanding. Like how he talks to the class when he wants their undivided attention, but this time itâs laced with pure primal need.
Your eyes lock with his, and everything starts to crumble. Your whines break into breathless, sad whimpers, your legs shake even when heâs got them pressed to your chest, your pussy gushes around him as he finds a relentless, deep rhythm, drilling his fat cock into you.
âHoly shit, youâre soaked.â He breathes out, pressing his lips against the back of his hand that covers your mouth. His hips smack against yours, a wet slap of skin with every drag of his hips; you could hardly hear yourself think.
âGood slut⌠fuckkk- my baby is so needy, hm? Such a selfish pussy.â Heâs bullying you now, his swollen lips shiny and wet, then finally heâs taking his hand off your mouth and immediately replacing it with his lips.
Kissing you slow and deep, muffling your cries with his own mouth. His tongue fills your mouth, and your moans vibrate against him, and you feel as he starts to fuck up into you faster, the slaps of skin louder and the pleasure scraping up your spine and rendering you cockdrunk.
âSuch a crybaby.â He groans down your throat, his warm chest pressed against your own like a heated cage, nowhere to go, nowhere to hide.
âMm, just wanna- fuck⌠just wanna make you feel good.â He sinks his teeth into your bottom lip and almost growls, and you notice heâs starting to get rougher, get meaner. Losing control.
He started to ramble in cracked moans under his breath. âBetter than her⌠p-prettier than her⌠fuck-! Softer than h-herâŚâ
You hadnât had half the mind to dwell on his words, but you just knew he must have been talking about his wife. Whether she was in the picture or not, he was still thinking about her. And you hated to admit it, but it sent your ego soaring.
His hands grip the underside of your thighs, pushing your legs harder against your body, then heâs dragging his hips back with a heady growl and pounding you.
Hard, deep thrusts that have you sliding up the mattress, heâs careful enough not to send the headboard flying against the wall, but itâs still enough that it sends your poor little brain into a frenzy.
âShouldnât be letting me do this to you.â He breathes through gritted teeth, his messy salt and pepper hair falling over his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak again, but interrupted himself with a broken moan. You felt so fucking good around him, he couldnât believe it.
A wet, blissful mess under him. Such a smart girl who risked everything she had just to be ruined by a man old enough to be her father. There was no redeeming himself now. And he wasnât sure that heâd want to.
âDoes it feel good? Does my baby feel good here?â His hand gently presses against your lower stomach, where heâs buried inside of you, teasing you with heated questions he knows you donât have the capacity to answer. You shake and shiver every time his tip kisses that sweet spot.
Youâre doing so well, keeping your voice down, struggling to breathe as you try to keep your noises to yourself. And in all honesty, all he wants to do is hear you. He wants to hear you squeal and cry for him, but not while his daughter is home.
âP-pleaseâŚ!â You weep, your hands scrambling to grab something, anything. He doesnât let you, grabbing both your wrists in his huge hand and lifting your hands above your head.
âWrap your legs around me.â He bites out, sliding his hand from under your thigh and covering your mouth once again. Your muffled whines flow through his hand as you follow his command, wrapping your shaky legs around his waist as he adjusts the position of his hips so he can put as much force as he can behind his thrusts.
With your wrists pinned above you and your mouth beneath his palm, his gaze burns through your skull, and his eyebrows knit together like heâs focusing. âShh. Be still, be quiet.â
You whine loudly, and he presses his hand harder against your mouth, shaking his head like he was disappointed.Â
âNo maâam, you know better.â He groans, sinking his teeth into your shoulder to muffle his own noises as he starts to fuck you so hard itâs like he is trying to force your cunt to mold to his shape.
Resolute, deep, cruel, Mingi uses your body like he is burning from the inside out. Angling his hips upward with every thrust to perfectly graze against your G-spot in a way that had you spiraling forward to your orgasm in record time. Your neck involuntarily cranes backward, and his hand follows your movements, keeping a tight grip on your jaw to muffle you.
Your wrists wiggle in his grasp, your hands shaking and spasming as all you feel is white-hot bliss. Like your entire being was pleasure embodied, and Mingi was working you out so perfectly.
The wet slaps were impossible to mask, the creak of the bed rivaling Mingiâs only thought that swam around his brain.Â
Break her. Break her. Break her.
You sobbed quietly, and you couldnât believe this was happening. It all felt too good, and Mingi was way too good at this. It would be easy to get addicted, and it would ultimately be the downfall for you both. But you were too lost in it to care; all you wanted was to cum, and Mingi was getting you there no problem.
âI know baby, I know.â He growls under his breath, and your stomach lurches.
Mingi whines out broken and low curses, dropping his forehead against yours, his body jerking when he feels you tighten around him.
He lifts his eyes to your fucked out ones and kisses the tip of your nose, such a soft gesture, all the while he pounds your pussy to death.
âYou cumming beautiful?â He exhales, and you nod frantically beneath his hand. Thereâs a conflict in his eyes, then heâs leaning down to whisper in your ear.
âIâm gonna move my hand, but you have to be quiet, darling. I want this to be good for you, but you have to breathe through it.â
You werenât really listening, too focused on your orgasm, the more it coiled in your lower stomach. You nodded, anything to let you cum. Mingi wasnât buying your eagerness, and he shook his head.
âLook me in the eyes and say you understand.â You force your eyes to lock with his, his hips slowing to a deep grind, your shuddering breaths warming his hand.Â
Your pleading gaze has him crumbling, and slowly he slips his hand away and grips the front of your throat loose enough you can breathe, but enough to assert control.Â
âI u-understand!â You cry, your voice a low whimper. âPlease, Mingi, Iâll b-be good! I promiseâŚâ
Your sweet voice, it makes his cock twitch inside of you, and he grinds so deep into you that your lungs shake.Â
âBeg.â He snarls, forming his lips into a mocking pout. âSay, âPlease let me cum, please fuck me through it, please.â Make it pretty, use your manners.â
Your nose flares, and your cheeks are wet with tears make Mingiâs heart pound.Â
âPlease⌠let me c-cum.â You whimper, your bottom lip wobbling, every word a drunken slur. âPlease, wanâ it so bad⌠please.â
He smiles greedily, your pleas trailing off into quiet, mindless babbles, while he slips his hand between your melded bodies and finds your clit.
You feel his fingertips press up against it, and a gasp tears from your lungs, your legs tightening around him enough to force his hips to sink his cock deeper into you. Mingi tucks his bottom lip between his teeth drunkenly, circling your clit and grinding his hips into you each time he bottoms out with every powerful thrust.Â
âYes. YesâŚâ You weep pathetically, and with every clench of your cunt, every sweet noise from your mouth, Mingi finds it very hard to push the thought of fucking a baby into you to the back of his mind.
His body craves it, his soul screams at him to fill you up, his cock twitches from the sensitivity of holding himself back. He knows that it would be bad for both of you. Once he lets go like that, heâs going to want to fill you up again, again, again. Until the results are satisfactory and you are round with his child.Â
He doesnât want that. Heâs sure you donât want that. His body craves it, his instincts pick up on your young, palpable fertility like he was some kind of animal.Â
Your legs lock up around him, and your back arches off the bed, so close to that blinding edge. Your hands reach around his claw at his broad back, your nails scratching him up, dragging a wince from his lips.
âM-Mingi-! Oh my god⌠right there- right thereâŚâÂ
The authoritative honorific long abandoned, your brain clouds over as your orgasm creeps up your neck.Â
âYou got it, sweetheartâŚâ he praises, never stopping the repetitive strokes of his fingers, the filthy grind of his hips. âCum for me, all over me, please babyâŚâ
He kisses the front of your throat, sucking dark marks into your soft skin and running his tongue flat over them. Repeated begs for you to fall apart on his cock, begging for you to let go.
Your entire body tenses, and then it washes over you in waves; they seem to never stop. He doesnât stop moving his hips; he starts to fuck you faster. Dragging your orgasm out and taking advantage of how tight youâve gotten, you cry out and shake violently. Mingi gives you no room to breathe, every slick sound of his cock slipping in and out of you so smoothly, only seeming to help you cum harder.
âThatâs it⌠yeah⌠câmon babygirl. Donât stop. Cum until it hurts.â He smashes his lips with yours and moans loudly down your throat, his tongue invading your mouth with a greedy hunger, fucking you with renewed vigor. His hands slide up and cup your jaw, holding your head still as he kisses you stupid.
Then, your legs tighten around him, you tilt your head, and kiss him deeper. You force his hips against yours, and he sinks deeper into you.
âInside.â You moan around his tongue, and you could feel his low, gravelly whine against your teeth. âPlease.â
âFuckâŚâ he growls, and the hands on your jaw slip up and splay against either side of your face, holding you like you might try and run from him. âDonât say that.â
But you double down. âPlease, sir. Need you to fuck me full of you⌠get me all messy.â
Mingi gives you a warning look, his thumb slipping down and pushing against your chin, opening your mouth for him. He opens his mouth and sticks out his tongue, and you watch as a string of spit falls down the tip of his tongue and into your mouth, and your entire body erupts into an uncontrollable shiver.
âYou want it?âHe grunts, molding his lips with yours and kissing you so nastily, so dirty, you swear you were cumming again. You whisper pleading âyesâsâ and whimpering begs for him to fill you up, and you could practically feel the resolve crack in hips. âGonna make this pussy a fucking mess.â
How could he resist? Mingiâs hips stutter, and his mouth opens against yours, breathing heavily, exhales broken with whines and groans. His pretty eyes half lidded, and his eyebrows pulled together as he shoves himself deep in your cunt one last time before heâs cumming, rolling his hips into you as he shakily moans against your lips, filling your pussy up with him.
Warmth spreads throughout your body, and Mingiâs entire body presses down heavily against yours, his hips grinding against you in slow, repeated motions, making sure not a single drop of him slips out of you.
Your heavy breaths fill the quiet of his room that has fallen, and realization begins to set in. There was no coming back from this.
You werenât going to drop his class. You werenât going to quit the babysitting job. You needed both, and Mingi could do without you, no matter what you decide to do.
He could find a new babysitter. It would be one less paper to grade.Â
But he doesnât think he would be able to go one day without craving you like some kind of drug.
Slowly, he crawls off of you, his heart still racing. You sit up on your elbows, and immediately you move to gather your clothes, but his hand on your wrist stops you.
âWhoa, whoa, wait. What are you doing?â His gentle, kind voice has returned, and your eyes widen as you freeze in place.
âIâm- Iâm getting my stuffâŚ?â Youâre confused, and he shakes his head like he was disappointed. He stands up and guides you to stand with him. He towers over you, and his hands, which were so rough with you earlier, caress the sides of your arms.
Up your shoulders and along the marks he littered along your neck. He presses his lips to the top of your head and kisses you softly, inhaling the smell of your shampoo. âLet me take care of you.â He murmurs into your hair, and you exhale shakily.
âWhy?â You answer, and he rolls his eyes and scoffs.
âWhat a stupid question.â He laughs, massaging your shoulders and maneuvering you to walk towards his bathroom.
âI thought you said there was no such thing.â You tease, and he opens the bathroom door before picking you up and setting you on the counter.
âI can be wrong sometimes.â He shrugs, turning around and opening the sliding glass door of the shower. âDonât let it get to your head.â
While heâs adjusting the temperature of the water, you turn and look at yourself in the mirror. You were an awful wreck. Frizzy hair, sweaty skin, dark marks on every inch of your body. He really did a number on you.
âI am still a gentleman after all.â He smiles and turns to fetch you once again, scooping you up and setting you inside the tub.Â
âYou werenât acting like one earlier.â You mumble, and he scoops some water in his hand and splashes it on your face. Your mouth falls open in shock, and he raises a warning eyebrow at you.
âManners, young lady.âÂ
Mingi cleans you up with a soft rag, gently washing you clean with a soap that smells like him. You nearly fall asleep in his arms, strong and grounding as held your body up.
Heâs careful with you, like youâre made of glass. Attentive to your sensitive spots. He dries you off like a baby duck, avoiding your hair to not mess it up any further.
Once heâs got you cleaned up, he ushers you downstairs and urges you to eat something while he takes a shower of his own. He ever generously cuts you up a bowl of fruit, wearing nothing but a loose towel around his waist.
That strange domesticity from the first night he had hired you returned tenfold. And you couldnât pull your eyes away from him while he worked. His damp hair clinging to his skin, his skin shiny and freckled. The tattoos on his body faded and turned green from the years of existence.
He lay you on the couch, gently massaging your ankles while you ate the fruit, a comfortable quiet settling over both.Â
âYou can sleep here, if you want.â He whispers, massaging your calves. His glasses sit on the bridge of his nose, and he glances at you over them. You avoid his gaze, very interested in the pieces of kiwi sprinkled about your bowl.
âI shouldnât.â You mumble, and you could feel his grip on your calf loosen. You turn and lock eyes with him, and he thinks he would do anything for those pretty eyes you give him.
âWe shouldnât.â You finish, and you move to stand, but he follows you. His hands cup your elbows and pull you close, flush to his chest. His fingers caress the fragile bone in your arms, and he leans his head down to kiss your forehead.
âJust for tonight, you shouldnât be driving. You can hardly keep your eyes open.â
He kisses your eyelid, trailing chaste smooches down the side of your face until he melts against your lips, breathing deeply as you lean into him.Â
His hands slide down from your elbows to gently envelop either side of your waist, tilting his head to greedily kiss you deeper.
You sigh into his mouth, and he could feel you relax in his arms. Your hands reach up and wrap around the back of his neck, pulling him further against you.
âOkay.â You whisper, pulling away from his lips. He smiles, the smile lines making your heart flutter in your chest. He kisses the corner of your mouth, then heâs leading you away once again, the half-empty bowl of fruit abandoned on the side table. âJust this once.â
Of course, once would turn into twice. And before you know it, you have a routine with him.
Moments that were spent together in the privacy of his own home gradually transitioned into fleeting touches in the campus library, pushing you up against secluded bookshelves and eating you out to high heaven.
Dragging you to his office after class and bending you over his desk and having you then and there like some kind of animal.
You even went so far as to have him over at your home, riding on the hope that your parents wouldnât decide to come home early from their date nights.
If the board found out, heâd be terminated effective immediately. If your parents found out? God knows how they would feel.
So you agreed to keep this little secret between you two. His daughter was none the wiser, and she never questioned whenever you chose to stay the night, it only made her happier.
You and Mingi had something. Something good? Something bad? You werenât sure just yet.Â
For now, you were having fun. Something someone your age should prioritize. You act like strangers in class, only fleeting looks that were silent promises for what was to come later in the privacy of his home.
These kinds of things were always bound to end in a disaster, and god you prayed it wouldnât. Just this one time.
You werenât his girlfriend. You werenât his wife. You were a placeholder of sorts, a ghost to fill the empty shadow left in the home. You had no place there, but the longer you stayed the more you began to burn your imprint into the floorboards.
The wolf can keep that fawn as a pet for a little while, but its instinct to consume will always outshine later down the road.
And the fawnâs instinct to flee will always be there; it never disappears. However long it chooses to ignore it, will only prolong the pain that will destroy it when it is finally devoured.
perfect chemistry
pairing: nerd!han x reader
genre: fluff; uni au
wc: 4.5k
warnings: none
summary: a lab project brings you and han together - him, a shy nerd with glasses and messy curls, and you, the person heâs been secretly in love with for longer than heâll admit
part 1 | part 3 | part 4
the next morning comes slowly for han. it starts as a blur of half-formed thoughts in the middle of his still sleepy state, the dull light pressing through the curtains of his room. he shifts under the covers and then frowns a little, pulling the blanket closer to his chin, trying to escape from the cold. his glasses and yesterdayâs notes sit forgotten on his nightstand, the world still quiet and unfocused.Â
for a few seconds, his mind is empty, itâs silent. but then it hits him.Â
the lab.
the project.Â
his name and then yours, spoken out loud by your professor.Â
you standing in front of him, smiling, and then sitting next to him.
his eyes fly open.
âoh noâ, he groans, burying his face in his pillow.
his heart starts racing like it always does when he thinks about you - too fast, too loud, like itâs trying to escape his chest and leave him there. yesterday floods back in pieces: the way you said his name, the way you leaned closer next to him, the sound of your laugh when he tripped over his words like a complete idiot, the way you looked at him with that bright eyes that have him in the palm of your hands.Â
he rolls onto his back, staring at the ceiling.Â
âwhat am i gonna do?â, he mutters to himself.
his brain is already running ahead of him, replaying every second, magnifying every awkward pause, every stupid sentence. he groans again, dragging his hands down his face.Â
youâre nice, smart. youâre easy to talk to. and thatâs one problem.Â
but youâre also beautiful, absolutely beautiful. and thatâs a bigger problem.Â
âoh fuck, iâm so screwedâ, he says, his voice muffled by the planket as he pulls it over his head now.Â
he lies there for a moment longer, feeling his heart still beating too fast, trying to calm himself down. itâs just a project, nothing new. itâs just a lab partner. just you.
just the person heâs been crushing for way too long.Â
he closes his eyes and another groan almost leaves him when he hears it, something loud blasting through the dorm.Â
music. very loud music at that.Â
han winces immediately, his groan finally leaving him as the sound vibrates through the walls. itâs a love song, a love song that makes him want to crawl out of his own skin.
âoh god, noâ, he grunts, âno, no, noâ
the door to his room swings open without warning.Â
changbin bursts in, already mid-song, his voice loud and enthusiastic and very much off-key.
âromeo, save me, iâve been feeling so aloneâ, changbin sings, or rather, screams.Â
âget outâ, han says flatly, not even looking at him.
changbin ignores him completely, spinning once in the middle of the room like heâs performing in the middle of the stage, one hand pressed to his chest while the other pretends to hold a mic close to his mouth.
âi keep waiting for you, but you never comeâ, changbin continues singing.Â
âchangbinâ, han says, covering his head with the pillow as changbin sings, âi swear to godâ
changbin laughs, the sound bright and loud, too awake for this hour. he moves and stands up on hanâs bed, moving closer to him, still singing.Â
âhe knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and saidâ
han sits up abruptly, his hair sticking up in every direction, his eyes tired and annoyed behind the mess.
ââmarry me, juliet, youâll never have to be aloneââ, changbin sings as he kneels on hanâs bed rigth in front of him.Â
âwhy are you like this?â, han asks him, even though he knows the answer.
changbin finally stops singing, grinning at him like he has done the best thing in the world.Â
âgood morning to you too, romeoâ
âi am not romeoâ, han grumbles.
âmmhm, okay, whatever you say, romeoâ, changbin says, sitting down on the bed, âso, are you ready to spend another day with your juliet?â
han freezes.Â
â... i hate youâ
changbin laughs again, louder this time, âoh come on, youâre being dramatic, youâre only seeing the bad side of itâ
han groans, falling back onto the mattress.
âplease, leaveâ
ânot until you sing the song with me this timeâ, changbin says, starting the song again on his phone.
âdonât you dareâ
too late. Â
âwe were both young when i first saw youâ, changbin starts singing again.Â
han throws a pillow at him without looking and it hits changbin square in the face.Â
âwowâ, changbin laughs, clutching his chest, âyouâre getting good at this, should i be scared?â
âget out of my roomâ, han groans, âgo to the gym. go anywhere. disappearâ
changbin stands up, still laughing, clearly pleased with himself and his little musical number.Â
ârelaxâ, he says heading for the door, âyouâll be fine, itâs not like youâre gonna pass out when you see her todayâ
âi mightâ, han says.Â
changbin pauses at the door, smirking back at him
âoh, then sheâs the one thatâs saving you?â, he teases him, âsheâs romeo and youâre juliet?â
han grabs another pillow and throws it again, harder this time. changbin dodges it easily, laughing as he steps into the hallway.Â
âidiotâ, han calls after him.
âcome out before i eat your breakfast tooâ, changbin shouts back.
silence styles back into the room and han lies there, staring at the ceiling again, your face already creeping back into his thoughts no matter how hard he tries to stop it.Â
he groans loudly, and finally stands up, taking his glasses and leaving his room to go and have breakfast with changbin. as soon as he sits at the small kitchen table in their dorm, his spoon hovering uselessly over his bowl, he knows itâs gonna be a loud breakfast with changbin continuously teasing him and laughing and talking. or maybe heâs shouting while he laughs, itâs hard to tell the difference this early in the morning.
âsoâ, changbin says around a mouthful of cereal, âare you gonna sit next to her again or one day was enough for you?â
han glares at him.
âiâm eatingâ, he says, âcan you not?â
âoh, i definitely canâ, changbin grins, âi just donât want toâ
han sighs, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. he chews slowly, hoping the normal and mundane act of breakfast will somehow calm his nerves down. but it doesnât. his stomach feels tight, the nerves buzzing under his skin without stopping.Â
changbin hums to himself, clearly enjoying this far too much.Â
âdid you dream about her?â, he asks him casually.
han chokes.Â
âwha- no!â
changbin laughs, reaching over to pat his back a little too hard, ârelax, romeo, iâm kidding⌠or notâ
han groans, finishing his breakfast as fast as possible. when he finishes, he goes to his room to get ready and then he grabs his bag, and heads for the door before changbin can say anything else that will make his face burn.Â
the air outside helps a little. he walks across campus, his hands tucked into the pockets of his coat, his shoulders slightly hunched. the path to the lab is familiar, he could do it with his eyes closed. he has walked this same route a hundred times before, but today every step feels heavier.
changbinâs voice still echoes in his head, but he knows he was just teasing him, being playful. he knows he wants the best for him, he really does. and he wants the same for him too.Â
his thoughts drift to you again without permission. the way you smiled at him, the way you really listened to him, like you were genuinely interested in what he had to say, even if he was just making an idiot of himself.Â
he presses his lips together.
âget it togetherâ, he says under his breath.
he doesnât want to repeat what he did yesterday. he doesnât want to be awkward. he wants to try, to talk to you, to be normal, or at least⌠a better version of himself.Â
for you.
his heart beats faster again, equal parts nerves and determination.Â
by the time he reaches the lab, his cheeks are warm and his head is full. he pushes through the doors, the scent of disinfectant and chemicals greeting him immediately. the room is almost empty when he steps in, just the hum of equipment and the low buzz of fluorescent lights.Â
he lets out a breath he didnât know he was holding and makes his way to his usual seat. he sets his bag down carefully, pulls out his notebook and lines everything up the way he likes it. itâs a habit, something he does to search for comfort.Â
he sits and then, waits.Â
his leg bounces slightly under the table before he forces it still. he takes a deep breath, then another, trying to calm the storm inside him. he glances at the door, then quickly looks away, his heart jumping at every sound, every movement in the hallway, every time the door opens and someone comes in.Â
he waits for you, his fingers laced together on the table, and he just hopes that today, heâll do better. the door opens again and hanâs head lifts instantly, almost against his will, and his heart does that stupid thing where it jumps straight into his throat.
itâs you.Â
you step into the lab with your bag slung over one shoulder, your hair slightly messy like you had run to get to the lab, your cheeks a bit pink. you look around for a second and then your eyes land on him and your face lights up.Â
âhey!â, you say, walking over to him without hesitation, âyouâre earlyâ
han blinks, then nods his head a little too fast, ây-yeah, i umm⌠i usually amâ
you smile wider at him and then slide into the seat next to him, close enough that he can smell your perfume, which immediately makes his brain short-circuit.
âgoodâ, you say, âthat means we can prepare everything without rushingâ
he swallows, his fingers tightening around his pen, ây-yeah, thatâs⌠goodâ
smooth. incredibly smooth.Â
you donât seem to notice his internal crisis. instead, you open your notebook, look at his things and nod approvingly.
âyouâre really organisedâ, you say, âi like thatâ
hir ears go red.
âoh, uh... thank youâ, he says, pushing his glasses up again.Â
thereâs a small pause, itâs comfortable but also new, and then you fill it without effort.Â
âsoâ, you say, turning to him with that same bright smile that has haunted him since yesterday, âdid you understand everything the professor said yesterday? because i read it again last night and i swear i didnât copy some of the things he said and i didnât get itâ
he lets out a small, surprised laugh before he can stop himself.
âyeahâ, he says, a bit more relaxed now that youâre talking about something familiar to him, âi mean, mostly, you can copy my notes if you wantâ
âyes pleaseâ, you say immediately, âyouâre saving my lifeâ
his chest warms at that but before he can respond, the professor walks in, getting everyoneâs attention as the quiet replaces the chatter and movement.Â
the professor explains todayâs tasks - preparing samples, running tests, recording results - but han feels his nerves creeping back in. he focuses hard, nodding along, jotting down details, but completely aware of you beside him doing the same.Â
âokay, so we have to work through these steps today, and then continue in the next sessionâ, you say once the professor finishes explaining.Â
han nods again, almost automatically.Â
you turn to him and say softly, âokay, lead the way, lab geniusâ
he snorts before he can stop himself, then immediately looks embarrassed, âiâm not- i mean⌠okay umm, first we need to-â
you listen and lean closer to him as you start working together. you ask questions when something isnât clear, then nod when he explains it and finally makes sense. every time time you ask him something, a little bit of his tension melts away.Â
âoh, okay, yeah, that makes a lot of senseâ, you say at one point, âthanks for explaining it like thatâ
âyeah, no problemâ, he says, his voice steadier now.Â
as you work, the rhythm settles in. measuring, checking, writing, then checking again. your sleeves brush occasionally, your shoulders bump, and each time it happens, hanâs heart stutters, but itâs not as overwhelming anymore.
you start talking about yourself between steps - about your hobbies, about what you do when youâre not stuck in the lab.
âi thought about switching majors last yearâ, you say, carefully labeling a vial, âbut i knew i would miss the lab too muchâ
han smiles at that, small but genuine and warm, âyeah, i feel the same way. we might be stuck here sometimes but itâs also⌠calming, in a weird wayâ
you glance at him, âright?â
you laugh together, and then, han forgets how nervous he had been before.
at one point, you make a joke about nearly spilling something and he laughs, his head tipping back slightly before he catches himself. you smile at him, brighter and bigger than before.
âthere it isâ, you say, âi knew youâd loosen up eventuallyâ
he feels his face warming up again, âiâm tryingâ, he says honestly.Â
by the time you finish the last step, both of you are leaning over the table, checking your notes.
âweâre done, right?â, you say.
han scans the page, then nods his head, âyeah, thatâs everything for todayâ
you stretch your arms above your head with a small groan, âthank god, my brain is friedâ
he smiles, packing his things, âyou did really wellâ
âreally?â
âyeahâ, he says, âyouâre⌠easy to work withâ
your smile this time is gentles, almost shy, âthank you⌠you too, jisungâ
jisung. his name. not a lot of people call him like that, most of them using just han. only those close to him use his real name. and you have done it.
he feels his chest getting warm again.Â
the room starts to empty around you, but for a moment neither of you moves. as you stand there, with your bag over your shoulder, you glance back at him before you ask him.Â
âsame time tomorrow?â
his heart skips.
âyeahâ, he says, âdefinitelyâÂ
after you head to the door and turn around at the last moment to wave goodbye, han sits down again, his legs trembling, and he wonders how heâs gonna do this again, day after day.
a few days pass and working together in the lab becomes easy, almost as easy as ignoring changbin and his constant teasing and jokes.Â
han doesnât freeze anymore when you sit beside him. his hands donât shake as much when he passes you equipment. he still pushes his glasses up when heâs nervous though, and he still overthinks every sentence before it leaves his mouth, but the tight knot in his chest loosens every time you smile at him.
youâre good, really good.
you catch mistakes before they become problems. you ask questions that make the work smoother. you remember details that he forgets and then laugh it off when he apologises too much. youâre bright and sharp and curious but also easygoing, humming softly while you work, making quiet jokes when things get tedious.Â
and every day, han falls a little harder for you.Â
and honestly, it scares him. how natural it feels to sit next to you. how he starts looking forward to seeing you the next day as soon as he goes to sleep. how your name pops into his head all the time - when heâs brushing his teeth, when heâs pretending to listen to changbin, when heâs walking across campus, when heâs lying in bed staring at the ceiling again.
you have finished one of the lab parts of the project, so today is the first day you actually have to sit down and write one of the reports.Â
âlibrary?â, you suggest as you walk together across campus, your bag bumping lightly against his arm.
âyeahâ, han says.
but when you get there, you see thatâs not gonna be an option. every table is taken - laptops, notebooks, coffee cups everywhere. low murmurs fill the space, chairs scrapping, pages flipping. thereâs not a single free seat.
you stand there for a moment, scanning the room, then let out a small sigh.Â
âokay⌠you have a plan b?â, you say, letting out a low laugh, half amused.
han swallows, âwe could⌠umm, try another floor?â
you shake your head, âno, itâs always worse upstairsâÂ
you think for a second before you speak again, âiâd offer my dorm, but my dorm mate got people over there for another project, so itâs gonna be packed tooâ
âohâ, han says quickly, âyeah, thatâs⌠yeahâ
thereâs a pause, and he feels it stretching, heavy and loud in his head. his heart starts beating faster as the thought forms before he can stop it. he hesitates and then clears his throat.Â
âummâ, he says, his eyes fixed on the floor for a second, âwe could⌠go to my dorm?â
you blink, then look at him.
âreally?â
he nods, his hands gripping his bag straps, âmy dorm mate is at the gym. heâs uh⌠heâs usually there for hoursâ
you smile softly at him, âare you sure, jisung?â
there it is, his name again, itâs something you do almost every day now.
ây-yeah, i mean, only if youâre okay with itâ
âof courseâ, you say quickly, âthat would be greatâ
and just like that, itâs decided.
as you start walking towards his dorm together, hanâs thoughts begin to spiral. alone with you, for hours. he tells himself to clam down, itâs nothing weird. nothing different.Â
but his heart doesnât listen.Â
when you get to his dorm, he feels oddly nervous unlocking the door, like heâs letting you into something private, a new part of himself.
âwowâ, you say once the door closes behind you, âitâs cozyâ
han smiles, âyeah, umm, sorry if itâs a bit messyâ
you drop your bag near the table and look at him again, that same open expression and bright smile that makes his chest ache.Â
âcome on, lab genius, letâs get started with thisâ, you say.
you both sit down together, your laptops open and your notes spread across the table. hanâs nervous but heâs also happy. heâs terrified that youâre there with him, but he also realises that heâs also terrified that he might miss you too much when the project finishes and youâre not there with him anymore.Â
you sit close enough that your shoulders brush sometimes when you both lean towards your screens. han explains things carefully, stopping every so often to make sure heâs not talking too fast. you listen closely, nodding, also explaining things to make your work easier.
âwaitâ, you say, pointing at you screen, âif we phrase it like that, doesnât it sound like the result was accidental?â
he squints at it, âoh, yeah, youâre rightâ
you grin, âyay! caught youâ
âokay okay, lab geniusâ, he laughs.
âthatâs your titleâ, you say laughing.Â
âno, noâ, he shakes his head, smiling wider now, âyou stole itâ
every laugh and every shared joke loosens something in his chest. at one point he drops his pen, and when he bends down to grab it, he knocks his knee against the table.
âouchâ, he mutters.
you laugh immediately, âare you okay?â
âyeahâ, he says, embarrassed, âphysically, iâm fine, yeahâ
âbad table, that was rudeâ, you say seriously.Â
he snorts before he can stop himself, then freezes a bit, surprised at how easy that felt.Â
time blurs - sentences get written, deleted, then rewritten. you read things out loud to see how they sound. he catches typos you miss. you bump elbows. your knee rests against his without either of you moving away, although he feels his heart beating fast for a completely different reason that the project.Â
eventually, you both sit back and stretch.
âi think weâre done with this partâ
you scroll through the document one last time before you say, âyeah. yeah, we areâ
you high-five him without thinking and the sound echoes slightly in the quiet room.
âwe make a good teamâ, you say, smiling at him.
his face warms, âw-we doâ
youâre still talking, still laughing together, joking with each other, when the door suddenly opens.Â
âoh my godâ, changbinâs voice fills the room, âleg day has absolutely destroyed meâ
he kicks his shoes off and then he keeps rambling as he drops his gym bag by the door.Â
âbutâ, he continues, âi decided i deserved pizza, so i bought two, because, iâm obviously the best friend ever, and you know iâm generous and kind like that and-â
he finally looks up and sees you with han.
alone.
â... ohâ, he says.
han goes stiff immediately.Â
âh-hi, changbinâ, han blurts out, standing halfway from his chair before realising he doesnât need to, âthis is, umm⌠this is y/n, my umm, my lab partnerâ
you smile and stand up properly, smiling at changbin, âhi, nice to meet youâ
changbin grins at you and then says, âhi, y/n, nice to meet you tooâ
hanâs brain short-circuits and before he can speak again, changbin continues talking.
âwell, itâs a good thing i bought two pizzas, because youâre staying for dinnerâ
your eyes widen, âoh, i⌠i really donât want to intrude-â
âno, thatâs not an optionâ, changbin says firmly, âyouâre gonna be our guest tonight, youâre not getting out of thisâ
han opens his mouth to protest on your behalf but you laugh softly.Â
âokayâ, you say, âif you insistâ
you sit around the small table, the pizza boxes now open. changbin talks nonstop about the gym, about some guy who dropped a dumbbell, about how sore heâs going to be tomorrow. you laugh easily, asking questions, reacting with genuine interest.
han watches you more than he eats. every now and then, you look at him when changbin says something ridiculous, like the two of you are sharing a silent joke, and his heart stumbles every time.Â
nothing is awkward or forced, and when you finish eating, han is surprised to find out that heâs having a really good time.Â
when you finally stand up to leave, taking your things with you, han immediately stands up too.
âiâll walk youâ, he says quickly.Â
you shake your head with a smile, âyou donât have to, really. my dorm is close, itâs literally five minutes from hereâ
âbut-â
âiâll be fineâ, you reassure him, âi promise youâ
you say goodbye to changbin and thank him for dinner one more time before you leave. you head to the door and turn to look at han one more time, âthanks for today, jisung, i had a lot of funâ
his voice is soft and warm when he replies, âyeah, me tooâ
you smile at him again before you leave and close the door behind you. the silence lingers for half a second, enough time for han to turn around and see changbin already looking at him.
âi didnât know you had a crush on the y/nâ
han blinks, âwhat?â
changbin raises an eyebrow, âyou know, that y/nâ
hanâs confusion deepens, âwhat do you mean?â
âi know her from the gymâ, changbin says, sitting down in a chair.
âyou do?â, han squeaks.Â
âyeahâ, changbin says, âwell, not know her personally, but iâve seen her around. she used to date this complete idiot for a while. loud, cocky, thought he was a hot stuff and could just walk her around like a trophy he had wonâ
han frowns, âreally?â
âmmhmâ, changbin nods, looking more thoughtful now, âi always thought it was weird, like⌠i donât know, i had never spoken with her before, but she always seemed so sweet and kind, it just⌠i don't know, it didnât make sense to meâ
he looks at han again, âand after today? it makes even less sense if iâm honestâ
han doesnât know what to say at first and changbin watches him for a moment longer.
âfor what itâs worthâ, changbin continues, rubbing the back of his neck, âi didnât hear much about the breakup. just that it ended badly. for her. people at the gym talked but⌠you know how it is. rumoursâ
hanâs stomach twists, âbadly?â
changbin nods, âyeah, but i donât know anything else, sorryâ, he pauses, then adds, softer, âbut she looked really happy tonight, jisung, she seemed to be doing fineâ
han swallows.
he thinks about the way you laughed with him while you worked together. and then how you laughed with changbin during dinner. how easy your smile was. how comfortable you seemed sitting there, joking with both of them.Â
âand you two looked good togetherâ, changbin says, looking at the empty chair youâd been sitting on, âi mean it, i know i tease you a lot about your crush on her and that but i really mean it this timeâ
hanâs ears burn, but he doesnât argue.Â
they clean up in a comfortable silence. changbin hums while stacking boxes, han wipes the table, still half-lost in his thoughts. every moment feels slower, heavier, like heâs still trying to process what changbin had told him.
once everything is cleaned, changbin stretches.
âget some sleep, romeoâ, he says lightly, âiâm sure you have another busy day tomorrowâ
han groans, âplease, stop calling me thatâ
changbin laughs and disappears into his room.
han goes to his room and changes into his pyjamas and then lies down, staring at the ceiling again, replaying his day with you. he thinks about your voice, your laugh, you having dinner next to him like you-
his phone buzzes.
he grabs it immediately and sees itâs a text from you.Â
you: hey :) i just wanted to say i had a lot of fun today with you, and also thanks for the food! (pls tell changbin as well!!)
he feels a smile forming on his face when he gets another text from you.
you: and next time iâm buying dinner! see you tomorrow, jisung :)Â
his heart skips.
he reads them again. then one more time. his fingers hover over the screen before he types back something simple, something safe.
han: i had a lot of fun too, and iâm glad you stayed with us. see you tomorrow!
he sets the phone down against his chest, smiling to himself alone in his room.Â
he thinks about a maybe.Â
a possible maybe.
and before he realises, he falls asleep thinking of you, feeling lighter than he has in a long time.
a/n: part 2 is here!! and we can see some people already falling but also, a storm coming... thank you for your love my darlings see you in the next partttt đ
likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated đ
if you want me to add you to a taglist for the next parts let me know in the comments!!
dividers by my darling @lariesographic đ
the library
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seo changbin at the golden disc awards Š Thh_Ribbon

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Lust At First Bite
Word Count: 22k (grab some popcorn!)
Tags: vampire!Sylus x virgin!reader, deflowering, rough sex, unprotected sex, biting, injury, blood, blood play, cunnilingus, blowjob, dubcon elements, coercion, vampire transformation, paranormal, body horror, corruption, nicknames like beloved, little lamb, my love
Summary: You are the princess of Carpathia. Groomed for obedience, valued only as a pawn in your kingdomâs political games. Your future is not your own: a marriage arranged, a womb expected to produce heirs, your body treated like currency in the hands of powerful men. Suffocated by your life, you begin slipping away into the night, seeking freedom where no one would search for you.
One evening, in the ruins of an abandoned cathedral, you meet Sylus...a being colder than death, with eyes like burning coals and a past steeped in mystery. What begins as fear becomes fascination, and through him, you discover that those who have no heartbeat love the deepest.
And sometimes, the monsters we fear most prove more human than the ones who surround us.
You felt his breath, cool and uneven, against your skin. His eye gleamed, that crimson light glowing brighter than before. The hunger in him was palpable, pressing into the air between you. But you didnât flinch. You didnât turn away. Instead, you reached for him. Your fingers threaded into his silvery hair, anchoring yourself to him. âSylusâŚâ you whispered, voice trembling with something between courage and surrender. You tilted your head, exposing your neck fully. âItâs alright. Drink.â The words hung heavy between you. An invitation, a vow. Whatever happened next, you were no longer afraid. "I can't do that to you," he muttered, voice hoarse and dark, trembling with restraint. You felt his breath ghost against your skin, cool and sharp like mist off a blade. He pulled back slightly, just enough for his eyes to meet yours. And god, those eyes. There was longing in them. Hunger. And torment so fierce it almost looked like pain. "Once I begin, I canât stop."He leaned closer again, his lips nearly brushing yours, his voice sinking lower, rougher. "Iâll claim you," he whispered. "Every inch. Every part. Your blood, your soul, your innocence."
AN: Sorry this took awhile! I hope you guys enjoy this one, it was quite fun to write and I missed writing longer fics with worldbuilding honestly. I'll go back to the straight porn ones after this. I hope one day I can become a full fledged romance author. Honestly I've been taking the idea more seriously lately! But for now, enjoy all these ideas I like to throw at you guys. Was gonna post this in two parts but I'm lazy. The sex is quite intense...this is your second warning after the tags. Blood talk (duh) and blood/cum mixing cause uhhh...I just felt a vampire fic should be freaky like that xDD.
Enjoy!
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You sit in the castleâs back field, nestled just beyond the overgrown hedge maze where the gardeners rarely go and the nobles never bother. Itâs your quiet place, a patch of solitude surrounded by wildflowers and humming bees, a world apart from the polished stone and suffocating expectations of royal life. The sun warms your cheeks, and the breeze plays with your hair, lifting the strands with gentle fingers as if nature itself were trying to soothe you.
Your limbs are sore from another day packed with obligations. Three hours of dance rehearsals in shoes too tight, another lecture on posture and poise from a governess who never smiled, and a dress fitting where you were poked and pinched until your skin burned. Youâd been told again, as always, to smile more. To speak less. To sit like a lady.
Youâre tired, so you stretch out in the grass, limbs sprawling, silk skirts rustling like leaves in the breeze. The scent of wild thyme, crushed clover, and distant lilac surrounds you. Somewhere, a lark trills a lazy melody, and for a fleeting moment, you let your eyes drift closed. The earth is cool beneath your back, holding you better than any throne ever could.
Just as your mind begins to slip into the peaceful haze between waking and dreaming, something brushes your nose, soft and feathery.
You open your eyes with a giggle, blinking up at the blue sky. There she is, circling above like a small white cloud with wings, your dove, Celine. She spirals downward, landing beside you with practiced grace, her pearl-white feathers catching the sunâs light like polished opal. Her small head tilts, and she fixes you with an eager, intelligent stare.
"Hello, you clever girl," you say, voice warm with affection. "I saved you something from supper. Almond stuffed dates. Not my favorite, but I knew you'd like them."
Careful not to startle her, you sit up slowly, brushing blades of grass from your sleeves. Reaching beneath the layered hem of your gown, you find the small linen-wrapped parcel tucked securely inside your boot. You smile to yourself, a quiet triumph that no one saw you sneak the treats away from the banquet table.
Celine hops closer, cooing in anticipation as you untie the bundle. Inside are three sticky, honey-dark dates, stuffed with roasted almonds and dusted with crushed anise and rose sugar. An extravagant dessert served only to the nobility. You hold one out in your palm.
She pecks delicately, her tiny beak tapping your skin as she eats. Her wings flutter slightly with pleasure. You chuckle, lightly petting her head with a finger. Youâre so grateful to have met her.
You remember the day clearly. The sun was low, casting long shadows across the stones of the castle gate, when she fell from the sky. A flash of white, a sharp cry, and then the soft thud of her broken body hitting the ground. Her wing was twisted, streaked with blood, her feathers limp and stained. Your father had looked at her with disdain, his lip curling in disgust. "Filthy creature," he muttered, turning away. He ordered a servant to take her away and burn her.
You couldnât bear it.
Youâd bribed the servant with a pouch of gold coinsâmore than enough to buy silenceâand convinced him to leave her in a patch of grass at the far end of the field. That night, under cover of darkness, you crept out with a scrap of linen, water, and crumbs from the kitchens. You wrapped her gently, whispering apologies as she trembled in pain.
Each day after that, you returned in secret, always with food and care. You werenât sure she would survive. Her breathing was shallow. Her wing hung uselessly. But still, she looked at you, and you saw a flicker of will.
When she finally flapped her wings again and took flight to land on your shoulder, you cried. Real, silent tears that soaked into your sleeves. From that day forward, she never left you. No matter how cold the world became, she was your constant warmth, the one joy you could rely on in this wretched, luxurious prison.
You decided then to name her Celine. It meant sky, according to the books you used to sneak from the grand library. It felt right, watching her flutter upward for the first time, her white wings catching the morning light like fragments of a dream. She had fallen from the sky, and now, against all odds, she returned to it.
You werenât allowed to read or write, not officially. Your father claimed such things were unnecessary for a girl destined to marry. But you had taught yourself, slowly and in secret, slipping worn volumes beneath your mattress, hiding scrolls behind tapestry seams, memorizing letters by moonlight. You devoured stories, histories, languages. The world in those pages was the only one that ever made sense to youâwhere girls could be clever, brave, wild, and free.
Naming her was your quiet rebellion. A secret shared only between the two of you, carried on the wind and sealed with a coo and a nuzzle. Celine was your sky, your secret, your only friend in the kingdom.
You jump at the sound of Arnetteâs frantic, sudden voice calling from behind you, sharp enough to startle a bird. Instinctively, you drop the dates into the tall grass beside you, fingers shaking slightly. Celine flutters into the air in a flurry of white feathers, wings catching the sunlight as she darts up to perch on the crumbling stone wall that borders the field. She tilts her head, watching the scene unfold below.
Arnette, one of the palace servants assigned to you since childhood, is breathless with urgency. Though technically just a handmaid, sheâs been your shadow for years. Equal parts caretaker, watchdog, and reluctant confidante.
"My lady! Please do not lay on the grass in your new dress! Your mother will be furious!" Arnette cries, her voice tight with panic, skirts swishing as she rushes toward you with both hands raised like sheâs trying to catch a falling vase.
You let out a long, quiet sigh as you rise to your feet, grass clinging to your sleeves and the hem of your gown. The warmth you had felt only moments ago is already slipping away. Your body moves slowly, reluctantly, like your soul is still lying in the field even as your form obeys the worldâs demands.
Arnette reaches you in seconds, already kneeling at your side, her hands fluttering like nervous birds as she begins brushing at your dress with swift, practiced motions. Her mouth moves in a steady stream of hushed reprimandsâsomething about embroidery, silk fibers, and your motherâs scheduleâbut youâve stopped listening.
Your eyes are fixed on the distant hills, their edges softened by the late afternoon haze. You imagine walking toward them. Walking until the palace disappears and no one calls you back.
Arnette pauses, noticing your silence. Her hands slow, and her voice softens, no longer panicked but weary. "Please, my lady. You mustnât give them reason to scold you again. Not today."
You nod once, not because you agree, but because itâs easier than speaking. She means well, you know. She bandaged your scraped knees when you were small, brought you sweets from the kitchens when you cried. But she also buttoned you into dresses too tight to breathe and braided your hair so tightly your scalp stung, all in the name of appearances. She is part of this prison, whether she wishes to be or not.
As her fingers resume their careful work, you feel itâthe invisible corset of duty, lacing itself up your spine, pulling you back into place. The weight returns, as it always does. And the field, the sky, even Celine, feel just a little farther away.
"Come now. The afternoon isnât over. We must wash you up for dinner, your father is returning from the neighboring kingdom tonight. He wants you clean and proper. Iâm sure youâre very excited," Arnette says, gently taking your elbow and steering you toward the palace.
You force a nod, your body moving on instinct even as your mind drifts elsewhere. "Yes, of course. Itâs all anyone can talk about," you reply with a polite smile, your voice practiced. But inside, a sigh curls through you like smoke.
Your fatherâŚwasnât a pleasant man. He wore affection like a ceremonial cloak, pulled out only when it suited his image. In private, he was distant and calculating, speaking to you only when necessary and always in clipped tones. When guests arrived or alliances needed strengthening, you were suddenly paraded about in satin and jewels, introduced with a proud hand on your back and a rehearsed line about your grace or beauty. He smiled through his teeth. You did too.
He rarely listened when you spoke. If you voiced an opinion, he corrected it. If you asked a question, he deflected. And if you stayed silent, he said you were dull. There was no right answer with him.
It was different with your younger twin brothers, Lyric and Kasren. They were golden in his eyesâmirrors of his ambition, reflections of the legacy he imagined leaving behind. They trained daily with the royal guard, their blades custom-forged, their tutors handpicked by himself. At dinners, he asked them questions about military strategy and trade routes. He clapped them on the shoulder. Laughed at their jokes.
With you, he only asked what dress youâd be wearing to the next banquet and whether you'd rehearsed the harp piece for the visiting dignitaries. You were not his heir. You were his ornament.
As you and Arnette walk the narrow garden path back toward the palace, the sunlight stretches long across the stone. You glance back over your shoulder, eyes drifting toward the wild edge of the field where Celine still perches. She watches you, still and silent.
Hopefully you can still find the dates I dropped.
The palace looms ahead, all shadowed stone and quiet judgment, swallowing the last of the golden hour. The closer you get, the heavier the air feels, like the walls themselves are pressing inward, reshaping you into something softer, smaller, more acceptable. Arnette keeps talking but you barely hear her.
All you can think about is how quickly freedom fades.
And how badly you already want the night to come.
Preparation for dinner goes uneventfully, as it always does. The routine is suffocating in its perfection. You sit still while a chorus of hands fusses over you, adjusting, tightening, perfecting. The room smells of rosewater and starch.
Voices hover around you like bees, constantly assessing your posture, your complexion, your worth. It annoys you to no end, a relentless buzz that makes your skin itch, but you know better than to speak. Words only bring trouble. So you keep your mouth shut, your spine straight, and your expression carefully neutral.
Arnette scrubs you clean from head to toe. She hums softly, a melody you donât recognize, and though she says nothing, you can feel the pride she takes in doing this right. She treats your skin as if it is parchment.
When the bath is done and your hair has been towel-dried and scented, Arnette moves to the wardrobe. Her eyes flick over the options, weighing color, fabric, cut, and impression. Finally, she selects a gownâa pale yellow one, soft as butter and trimmed with delicate gold thread. It smells faintly of cedar and lavender.
"This one," she says with satisfaction, holding it up in both hands. "Simple, but it brings out your eyes. Perfect for a welcome home dinner."
You say nothing as she slips it over your head and fastens the back. Once youâre dressed, Arnette begins brushing your hair into a neat, smooth style. She parts it cleanly, twisting small braids back from your temples, securing them with gold pins shaped like tiny vines. Her hands are gentle now, almost reverent.
"You look beautiful, my lady," she says, stepping back with a soft smile. "I just know youâll marry just fine."
You smile, but itâs tight. A grimace in disguise. The same practiced curl of lips youâve used since childhood.
Marriage. The word tastes like rust in your mouth. A gilded prison dressed up in silks and vows. You hate the very thought of itâbeing shipped off to some distant kingdom to serve as a symbol, not a person. You would exist only to please, to decorate, to birth sons. You would be a gift, passed from one patriarch to another. The thought of it makes your stomach churn.
You imagine it often. Sitting at some foreign table beside a man who doesnât know your favorite flower or the way your voice sounds when you laugh. Bearing the weight of expectation in a land where no one speaks your languageânot just in words, but in spirit. Being praised for your beauty while your thoughts go ignored.
You look at yourself in the mirror. The girl staring back is elegant, poised, and perfectly composed. But she doesnât look real. She looks like a doll, painted and pinned, created for admiration, not autonomy. You barely recognize her.
Arnette beams behind you, clearly pleased with her work. She smooths a wrinkle from your skirt, unaware of the quiet war happening behind your eyes.
"Remember to smile," Arnette reminds gently, adjusting the fall of your hair one last time. Her voice is soft, but the meaning is clear: smile for them, not for you.
You nod, saying nothing, and step out of the bath chamber, Arnette trailing behind you like a loyal shadow. The warmth of the candlelit hallway greets you, but it feels cold. Your heels clack against the stone floor as you move, each step practiced and careful, the quiet rhythm of a girl trained to take up space without ever seeming to.
The scent of roasted meat, herb-glazed vegetables, and spiced wine drifts down the corridor, growing stronger with every step. The servants have been working since midday. You know this not because you were told, but because you hear themâalways moving, always murmuring just out of sight.
The dining hall is a quiet storm of motion when you enter. Servants sweep across the floor like ghosts, adjusting silverware, straightening goblets, and lighting the last of the tall candles that cast flickering light across the polished surface of the long oak table. The flames shimmer like nervous stars.
As you cross the threshold, every servant pauses. They bow their heads. No one meets your eyes. A silence settles in your chest like lead.
You hate it.
You wish they could look at you the way Arnette doesâlike a person. Not a porcelain thing to be handled and displayed. You wish someone would smile. Crack a joke. Ask how your day was. But instead, they look away, waiting for you to pass, as though your gaze might burn.
One servant, older than the others, quietly steps forward and pulls out a chair for you. You offer him a polite nod and lower yourself onto the cushioned seat. You smooth your skirts and rest your hands in your lap, resisting the urge to slump or sigh. Youâve been taught to sit like a painting.
Dinner drags on for what feels like an eternity. Courses come and go, all of it tasting like ash in your mouth. You chew mechanically, nod when expected, and smile only when itâs necessary. The conversation continues without you. No one asks you anything more. You are decoration.Â
After your father arrives, he drones on an on about affairs in the neighboring kingdom while your two twin younger brothers, Lyric and Kasren, fight at the table. No one corrects them of course. Not even your mother. They're more interested in telling you that the prince in the next kingdom is of marriage age, and they hope for the two of you to meet soon.
You grimace at the thought.
Eventually, plates are cleared, goblets drained, and the golden light of the dining hall begins to dim. Servants quietly slip in and out, extinguishing candles and clearing away the remnants of a feast that felt more like a performance. The clamor of silver and porcelain fades, and the weight of expectation lifts just enough to breathe.
Arnette appears at your side as if summoned by instinct. She offers you a polite nod and a small, reassuring look before falling into step behind you as you leave the hall. The walk to your chambers is quiet. The corridors stretch long and shadowed, lit by wall sconces flickering with dying flame. The echo of your shoes on the stone floor is the only sound between you, until Arnette finally speaks.
"Try not to take it to heart, my dear," she says gently as she opens your door. "I heard the neighboring kingdomâs son is quite nice." She lingers in the doorway, hopeful. Thereâs a softness in her eyes that suggests she means it. As if 'nice' could outweigh 'caged.' As if the promise of a gentle master makes the collar more bearable.
You offer her a faint smile, more out of habit than belief. She gives a slight curtsy and quietly pulls the door closed behind her.
You step out of your shoes and cross the room slowly, peeling away the layers of dinner like armorâeach ribbon, each pin, each suffocating layer of silk. Your body is sore. Your head aches. But your mind is sharper than ever.
You move to the window, placing your hands on the cool stone sill. The night stretches out beyond the palace walls, black and endless and full of secrets. The stars are faint tonight, dim behind wisps of cloud, but the air is clear.
You smile.
Itâs time.
With practiced ease, you kneel beside your bed and pull back the edge of the thick, velvet carpet. Beneath it, nestled in a groove between the ancient stones, lies your escape: a rope made from torn bedsheets, curtain cords, and bits of silken sashes, all braided together with aching fingers. You tug it onceâstill sturdy. You tie one end around the heavy iron bracket fixed beneath your window, an old support beam long forgotten by the architects of your prison.
You strip off the suffocating layers of royaltyâthe silk gown, the golden pins that dig like thorns, the polished shoes. In their place, you don your true skin: a simple tunic, dark trousers, and a hooded cloak. You throw a torn bag over your shoulder filled with wheat crackers and your journal.
The night air greets you the moment you crack open the window again. Itâs cool, sharp, alive. The breeze slips inside and curls around your ankles like a cat, beckoning you forward. A shiver runs through you.
You swing one leg onto the ledge, feeling the familiar tug of the rope in your hand. The stone beneath your feet is cold and rough. You inhale deeply, filling your lungs with the night air. Your other leg liftsâ
Then the door creaks open.
"My lady? Apologies for waking you buâ"
Arnetteâs voice falters. She freezes in the doorway, her eyes widening as she takes in the scene: you half-out the window, cloaked and ready, looking more like a thief than a princess. You turn, placing a finger gently to your lips. "Please," you whisper. "Donât say anything. I do this all the time. Iâll be back before sunrise."
Her mouth opens, then closes. Her hand tightens around the candleholder. The flame wavers, casting erratic shadows across the chamber. She takes a step forward, hesitates, then stops herself. You see the fear in her face, and it isnât the fear of reprimand.
"Iâmy lady," she stammers, voice small and shaking. "I wonât speak of this. But...you should know there are rumors. Whispers of monster attacks near the eastern wood. People found pale, emptied. Even animals. Even guards. The soldiers wonât speak of it openly, but theyâre afraid."
She swallows hard, her eyes darting to the rope, then back to you. Her face is pale in the candlelight. "If anything were to happen to you..." she says, and then her voice breaks.
She looks away, her shoulders trembling. "I couldnât bear it."
You pause, one hand on the windowsill, the other gripping the rope. Her words strike something inside you. Arnette has been many things: servant, disciplinarian. But beneath it all, she has always cared. Even when she couldnât say it out loud.
You step down, your boots whispering against the stone floor, and cross the room with silent strides. You take her hand gently, feeling her tremble beneath your touch.
"I'll be alright," you say softly. "Nothing has happened so far."
Her eyes shine in the candlelight, and she nods slowly. "Come back safe," she murmurs. "Please. Just...come back." You release her hand and return to the window. This time, there is no hesitation. You climb onto the ledge, the rope taut beneath your grip, the wind lifting your hood as if to crown you in shadow.
Above you, the stars stretch across the sky like a promise. Below, the field glows silver under the moonlight, waiting. You begin your descent. The rope groans faintly under your weight but holds strong. You scale the wall like ivy. When your feet touch the earth, it feels like coming home. The grass is damp with dew, cool against your skin. The air smells of pine and stone and distant smoke.
You glance back once at the looming silhouette of the palace, its towers stabbing into the sky like the bars of a gilded cage. A chill runs down your spineânot from the cold, but from the memory of what youâre leaving behind. Then you turn away from it all.
This is your world now. The dark. The wild. The places where your name holds no weight, where no one tells you who to be.
You break into a run, cloak snapping behind you, heart pounding in time with the rhythm of your freedom. Your boots make barely a sound against the earth as you cross the field, heading toward the tree line, where the forest looms like an ancient god waiting to swallow you whole.
The world is hushed and alive in its own quiet way. Each step takes you deeper into the night, into the wild that stretches far beyond the boundaries of your gilded prison. You stop at still, moonlit lakes to dip your fingers into the water. The chill soothes your skin. You brush your hands along tall grass and overhanging branches, pause to press your palm against tree bark and trace the soft curves of flowers that bloom only in the dark. Moss glows faintly under your fingertips, and fireflies blink softly overhead like stars that have come down to follow you.
Itâs pitch black now, but you're not afraid.
You wish that doves were nocturnal. You would love for Celine to join you, to have her perched on your shoulder as you explored. Sheâd coo softly in your ear, bob her head in that way she does when curious, maybe even flutter down to peck at a mushroom cap or sip from a puddle. You picture her flying silently beside you, like a spirit guide.
You pull your journal from beneath your cloakâa small, leather-bound book worn soft at the edges from useâand stop to write. You sit on a smooth stone surrounded by ferns and take down notes by the silvery light of the moon. You record the shape of a twisted tree root, the sound of something splashing in the distance, the way your breath clouds just slightly in the cooling air. You sketch a flower you donât recognizeâlong petals, bat-shaped, dark as ink.
Tonight, you feel brave. Bolder than usual.
You close the book and slip it back in your bag. Instead of looping back to your usual pathâthe one that circles the lake and follows the brook back toward the edge of the palace groundsâyou veer left, deeper into the undergrowth. The woods here are thicker, the trees closer together. The moonlight is scarce, barely threading through the canopy above. Branches claw gently at your arms and shoulders as you push through, moving leaves aside, careful not to tear your cloak.
The air shifts. Colder. Like something is holding its breath. You pause, straining to listen. Nothing but the distant chirp of insects, the occasional rustle of unseen animals. The sound of a crow can be heard in the distance.
You press forward.
The brambles grow denser, snagging at your boots and pulling at your hem. You push on anyway. Then it happensâa sudden sting. You yelp, more from surprise than pain, as a low-hanging branch slices across your ankle. It cuts just above your boot, a thin line of fire blooming across your skin. You crouch quickly, wincing as you pull the fabric back and examine the scratch in the moonlight. Itâs not deep. Not bleeding much.
You let out a long sigh.
Youâll come up with something to tell your mother. Maybe you tripped in the gardens. Maybe you snagged your leg on a splintered step. Something she wonât think twice about. You've learned to become good at lying after all. You brush the dirt from your hands and stand again, rolling your shoulders, shaking off the sting.
When you look up, your jaw drops.
There, rising out of the earth like a forgotten relic of another time, stands a cathedral. Itâs tall and silent, veiled in ivy and shadow, like nature is trying to hide it, or protect it. The stone is cracked and moss-covered in places, but the architecture still sings of grandeurâtall, pointed arches, stained-glass windows dulled by years of grime, spires clawing toward the sky as though trying to reach something long gone. The moonlight spills across the facade, catching on the worn carvings and shattered glass, making the cathedral shimmer.
You can barely contain your excitement. With trembling hands, you pull out your journal and sketch the outline of the structure, ink smudging slightly as you jot quick, eager strokes. You record its position in your makeshift map, noting the landmarks: a twisted tree that leans like itâs bowing, the way the clearing opens like a breath in the forest. You even scribble down a few words to capture the feeling.
Then, unable to resist a second longer, you slowly approach the grand doors. Theyâre tallâeasily twice your heightâand carved with weather-worn symbols you canât quite decipher. Some look like feathers. Others like stars. One looks almost like an eye. Dust cakes the edges, and rust gnaws at the iron bands bolting them together. You reach out, pressing your palm against the wood.
You push gently.
Nothing.
You push harder, using your shoulder.
Still nothing. The doors are jammedâmaybe sealed shut by age, or warped from time and rain. A crack runs between them, wide enough to see through, but too narrow to squeeze anything larger than a hand through. You squint inside but can only make out darkness and the faint glint of broken glass.
Your excitement twists into frustration. You wantâno, needâto get inside. To see whatâs hidden within. What echoes live inside the walls. What stories the cathedral still keeps.
You step back and circle around the cathedral, scanning every detail of its exterior for another way in. A broken window. A gap in the stone. A missing brick. Anything. Ivy coils around the sides, thick and tangled, but you pull it aside, checking for hidden openings. You find an old alcove with a collapsed statue and kneel to brush dirt from the base, but it's nothingâjust rubble.
Then, a flicker of hopeâthere, near the eastern wall. One of the stained-glass windows is shattered near the bottom, its edge jagged but low enough to reach. You hurry toward it, ducking under a fallen beam and crunching over broken tile and leaves. The opening is small, and the glass edges sharp, but it might be wide enough to slip through.
You press your hands to the stone and peek inside. Itâs dark, of course, but not empty. You see the curve of pews. The glint of something metallic. Dust motes hang in the air, suspended in moonlight like stars trapped in time.
This place is waiting for you. You know it. You feel it in your bones. Now all you have to do is find your way in without slicing yourself open in the process.
You carefully pull yourself through the broken window, heart hammering in your chest, every inch of you tense with the fear of slicing your skin open. The jagged glass edges gleam faintly in the moonlight, catching and bending the light like sharpened teeth. You twist your body in the most awkward, uncomfortable way, trying desperately to avoid them. Your knee brushes a sharp shard and you freeze, breath caught in your throat.
No cut.
Your cloak snags on a protruding edge, and your breath hitches as you gently tug it free with trembling fingers. Every sound feels louder in this stillnessâthe rustle of fabric, the soft scrape of your boots on the windowsill, the pulse in your ears.
Youâre almost through when your foot slips.
In a heartbeat, you tumble forward, your balance gone. Your hands reach out instinctively, but too late. Your elbow scrapes against the rough stone wall, and your shoulder hits the ground with a sharp thud. A startled shriek bursts from your lips, loud and ragged, echoing up into the high ceiling.
For a moment you lie there, stunned. You stare up at the shadowed rafters, vision adjusting slowly. The ceiling soars above you, far too high for this place to feel anything but haunted. Dust swirls in the air, stirred by your fall.
You groan softly as the pain settles inânothing sharp or broken, just an ache that promises a new set of bruises in the morning. Carefully, you push yourself upright, wincing as you move. Dust and bits of old plaster cling to your hair and cloak. Your hands brush yourself off out of instinct, though you know it wonât make much difference.
The air inside the cathedral is thick. You shuffle forward awkwardly, arms raised slightly, feeling suddenly nervous. Your boots crunch over broken glass, fallen stone, and something brittle that might have once been wood or bone. You bump into a low objectâwooden, your fingers tell you, wide and flat. A pew.
You pause beside it, running your hand along the smooth, dust-covered edge. The texture is strangeâpolished in some places, rough and splintered in others. You can almost imagine the weight of bodies that once sat here, the whispers of old prayers lost in the rafters.
You take another step. Then another.
You move forward cautiously, feeling your way as you go. The shadows press in around you, dense and weighty. Your eyes strain to adjust, and shapes begin to form in the dim. More pews. The curve of an altar at the far end.
You drag your hands along the wall as you move forward, fingers trailing through layers of dust and fine cobwebs. Your breathing is uneven, heavy with exertion and wonder, each inhale filled with the scent of aged stone, mildew, and something unexpectedly piney.
You keep walking, almost hypnotized, when your hand accidentally bumps against something metal.
Click.
A sudden sound, mechanical and strange, breaks the silence like a spark in the dark. You jerk your hand back, startled. Then, without warning, one by one, overhead lanterns begin to flicker to life. They buzz softly, a low hum that builds as each one warms, casting pale gold light in slow, deliberate pulses down the length of the cathedralâas if the building itself is taking a breath.
You stagger back a step, eyes wide. "Oh my...." you whisper aloud, your voice barely more than breath, yet it echoes off the stone in soft reverberations.
Your heart thuds against your ribs, the sound loud in your ears. Your eyes shimmer as you slowly take it in, lips parted in disbelief, in awe. The cathedral, from the outside, had been striking but tragicâcracked stone, ivy choking the architecture, windows shattered and blackened by centuries. But inside?
The transformation is jarring.
The pews, though dusty, are whole, perfectly aligned in symmetrical rows. The stone floor beneath you gleams faintly under its blanket of time, the veins in the marble glistening like captured moonlight. Every step you take leaves a footprint in the dust. The walls are lined with intricate carvingsâscenes of angels, beasts, saints, and sinnersâso precise they might have been etched yesterday.
Your gaze travels upward. The vaulted ceiling arches far above you, held up by elegant columns that stretch like limbs toward heaven. The chandeliers above, though unlit, dangle with clear, unbroken crystals, swaying slightly as if in a breeze you cannot feel.
And then your eyes land on the altar.
It sits at the far end of the nave, elevated by three shallow steps. The gold trim gleams like polished sunlight. The marble is untouchedâno cracks, no decay. A pristine cloth is still draped over it, its embroidery rich with red and silver thread. You pass between the pews, brushing dust from the tops, fingers trembling. Your thoughts race. Who preserved this place? How has it survived untouched? Why does it feel...prepared?
Your questions are quickly forgotten as a new thought blooms in your mindâthis place could be yours.
A hideaway. A secret retreat far from the eyes of your family, the endless expectations, and the suffocating walls of the palace. A place untouched. Here, in this forgotten cathedral, you could finally breathe. You could finally exist without performance. You could be yourself.
You glance around at the rows of dusty pews and adjust your hood. Despite the state of the exterior, the interior is astonishingly intact. It feels like a dream, like something sacred has been preserved just for you. But it still needs care. A little cleaning, some rearrangingâitâs nothing you canât manage. Itâs abandoned, clearly.
Perfect.
A slow smile spreads across your face as you move between the pews, your boots stirring up tiny puffs of dust that glitter in the warm light. You press your palms against the back of one pew and push. It groans under the effort but slides slightly, its legs dragging along the stone floor with a low, gritty sound. The resistance only excites you moreâit means no oneâs touched it. It means youâre the first. This is your discovery. You huff softly, bending your knees to push harder. More dust floats up in a hazy cloud, catching the golden beams filtering from the high stained-glass windows. You cough once but grin through it.
Then, abruptly, the temperature drops.
A sharp, invisible chill brushes across the back of your neck. Goosebumps rise on your arms, prickling through your sleeves. The air had been still moments ago, but now it feels like something has shifted. Like something is watching. You pause and glance over your shoulderâbut thereâs nothing there. Just pews and dust. You shake your head, brushing the feeling off. Old buildings breathe. They shift. They creak. Youâve read about it. Itâs natural. Besides, you have work to do. You turn back to the pew and give it another shoveâand your back knocks into something.
A vase.
You gasp, spinning around with a frantic jolt, hands flying out to catch it before it topples. Time seems to lurch, stretching into something slow and syrupy as the vase tips off its pedestal in agonizing motion. Your heart leaps into your throat. Your stomach flips with panic.
You expect a crash and a shatter to fill the empty room. But it doesnât fall. It hangs in midair, perfectly still.
Suspended, as though the very laws of nature have forgotten themselves. A soft glow blooms around itâa deep, smoldering red mist, dense and luminous. It pulses gently, rhythmically, like the steady throb of a heartbeat echoing through stone.
The mist coils with eerie grace, curling in elegant spirals around the fragile ceramic as though cradling it. You watch as the mist carries the vase back to its pedestal, as if it never had fallen in the first place.
Your breath catches. Your limbs go stiff. You canât move. Then, from the deepest part of the shadows, a voice. Smooth. Deep as the pull of a current in a black river. Thereâs a languid confidence in it, like the speaker has all the time in the world. It slithers through the cathedral like smoke through keyholes, impossibly clear and close, though no shape yet forms.
"Didnât anyone ever teach you not to touch things that donât belong to you, miss?"
Your body goes frozen in shock. You canât move as you slowly turn your head to look behind you. In the very edge of your vision, just barely caught in your peripheral, stands a tall, imposing figure. And that alone is enough.
An avalanche of fear drops into your chest, cold and suffocating. It grips your spine like ice water, numbs your fingers, floods your limbs with a frantic energy that has nowhere to go. Panic surges through you and before you can stop yourself, a scream tears from your throat, startled and desperate. You whirl and lunge toward the window you came through, heart hammering, legs already burning with the need to flee.
But you donât make it.
The world lurches. Something unseen grabs hold of you, and your center of gravity vanishes. Your feet leave the ground as if pulled by an invisible thread, and you're yanked backward with a force that knocks the air from your lungs. You crash into a pew, the solid wood slamming against your back with a sharp, sickening thud. The pain is immediate and blooming, a dull ache that radiates through your ribs and shoulders.
Youâre disoriented, stunnedâbut not alone.
The figure is in front of you now. He doesnât walk. Doesnât move like anything human. One moment heâs across the room; the next, heâs there. Like he was always there and you just hadnât noticed. Tall and unnaturally still, his silhouette is wreathed in shadows that seem to breathe with him, as though the cathedral bends around his form.
You throw your arms up to shield yourself without thinking, body trembling, every instinct screaming to protect what little it can. Your voice wavers, high and shaking as you plead, "Please! Iâm sorry! Donât hurt me! Iâm the princess of the Carpathia kingdom! My fatherâheâll be very angry!"
The words fall from your mouth in a rush. Your voice trembles, and the space between you pulses with heavy silence.
Tears stream freely down your cheeks as you brace yourself for pain. You clench your eyes shut, heart crashing wildly against your ribs. In your mind, you curse yourself. You were foolishâso foolish to come here, chasing dreams and pretending you were brave. You shouldâve listened to Arnette. Shouldâve turned back.Â
But the pain never comes.
Instead, you feel your arms being pulled gently, yet firmly, away from your face. A cold hand wraps around your wrists and lowers them, revealing your tear-streaked cheeks. Another hand, colder still, slides beneath your chin and lifts it.
"Look at me."
The words are not a request. They are a commandâlow, smooth, and saturated with power. You feel something unnatural sink into your mind, tugging at your will, pulling your eyelids open as if your own muscles are no longer yours to control. You try to resist, but your body obeys.
And when your eyes meet his, your breath hitches.
Red. Deep as fresh blood spilled across white marble. His eyes burn with an intensity that steals the strength from your limbs. His face is strikingly handsome, almost unreal in its perfectionâcheekbones carved sharp, lips thin and cruel, greyish-white hair falling in loose, silken waves that frame his skin like shadows framing moonlight. The color is strange, almost ethereal, as if age and beauty had struck a truce in him. His gaze holds you like a vice. Terrifying. Mesmerizing.
You canât move. You canât even blink.
He stares at you in silence for a moment, then slowly reaches forward. With practiced ease, he pulls back the hood of your cloak, exposing your hair, your face, and your identity. Recognition flares behind his eyes. His mouth twists into a smirk. You see his fangs peek out from the sides of his mouth, glinting dangerously in the soft light.
"Princess of Carpathia indeed," he murmurs, the amusement in his tone laced with darkness. "I donât normally get royal whelps breaking in my place of rest."
You remain frozen, tearful and trembling beneath his grip, your heart pounding in terror and something else...something you donât dare name.
"Let me go!" you scream, voice ragged and sharp, thrashing wildly in his iron grip. Panic claws at your throat as your limbs flail in desperation, but his hand doesnât budge. Itâs like being caught in stoneâcold, unyielding, impossible to fight. Your vision blurs with tears, your chest heaving, lungs struggling to keep up with your terror. You twist and jerk, your body moving purely on instinct, but nothing works. His grip remains firm.
His smile fades.
It flickers, a shadow crossing his handsome features. For the briefest moment, you think you see annoyanceâor disappointment. But before you can decipher it, a flash of pain erupts through your chest. It's sudden, searing, and impossible to define. You cry out, the sound ripped from your throat in a broken, raw scream. Your whole body stiffens as the red mist coils tighter around you, snaking from his form and wrapping around your limbs like living rope.
The sensation is suffocating. The mist feels sentientâpressing against your ribs, holding your legs still, wrapping around your throat without choking.
"Hush. No need to be so loud," he murmurs. His voice is soft, deceptively gentle, but threaded with steel. He grimaces, lifting one elegant hand to rub at his ear, clearly irritated by your scream. Yet the moment of annoyance passes, and his gaze snaps back to yours, colder now.
"You break into a strangerâs home and then make demands of him? The audacity." He exhales deeply through his nose, shaking his head in disdain. "A sign of the times, I suppose."
Youâre trembling all over and your breath comes in short, broken gasps. Tears continue to trail down your cheeks, warm against the chill that surrounds you. The mist tightens again, not painfully, but as if reminding you whoâs in control. Your voice shakes as you manage a whisper, barely audible.
"A-are you going to bite me? Drain my blood? T-transform me into one of you?"
He raises an eyebrow, then scoffs. His crimson eyes narrow slightly, and a bitter smirk curls the corner of his mouth. He studies you with a mixture of amusement and pity. "Do you really believe in childrenâs tales at your age?" he says, his tone dripping with disdain. He tilts his head, and the movement is unnervingly graceful, almost predatory.
"Besides, what makes you think I'd do such a thing, dear? We just met."
Your breath hitches again, but you donât respond. What could you say? You can't even believe your staring at a true vampire right now. Everything about this moment feels impossible. To your utter shock, his hold loosens.
The red mist peels away like smoke sucked back into a flame. He lets go of your arm, the cold of his touch lingering on your skin like a brand, and steps back, the distance between you widening in a single movement. You shiver slightly, eyes not leaving his for a single second.
"Well. Go forth. Before I change my mind. Youâve already disturbed my rest, and yet Iâm being polite," he hisses, the edge in his voice unmistakable. He turns his back to you without another word, his silvery white hair tousling slightly with the movement. The gesture is so final, so dismissive, it stuns you into silence.
You blink, frozen in place. For a moment, you expect a trick but nothing comes. He really means to let you go. The idea settles into your chest slowly, and with it, a strange, unexpected flicker of something bold. He didnât kill you. He didnât even try. And thatâŚthat gives you courage you didnât think you had.
You slowly rise to your feet, still shaky, but determined. The adrenaline hasnât worn off, but defiance begins to warm your blood just enough to let the words form. You take a step forward, lifting your chin despite the tremble still clinging to your voice.
"Those powers...youâre obviously not human. So then, how do you change people if not with a bite?" The words leave your mouth before you can take them back. The question hangs between you like a blade suspended mid-drop.
You see the change instantly. His shoulders go rigid, his posture tightening like a string pulled taut. The temperature around you seems to drop again. You can almost feel itâthe shift in the air, the silent thrum of something angry and restrained. The tension spreads like frost through the room.
Then, in an instant, heâs in front of you.
No footsteps or sound was made. One moment the space is empty. The next, he fills it. Heâs so close you instinctively suck in a breath. The cold of him wraps around you like fog, creeping under your skin. His eyes burn brighter now, locking onto yours with a heat that contradicts the icy air.Â
You donât flinch, but your heart does. Loud and panicked, it hammers in your chest. Whatever small bit of bravery youâd summoned is now trembling beneath his stare.
You feel your face heat up under the pressure of his gaze, your skin prickling as the blood rushes to your cheeks. Your heart races, not just with fear, but with something tangled beneath itâuncertainty, dread, the bewildering realization that his eyes donât just look at youâthey look into you.
"You really want to know, doll?" he murmurs, voice low and rich, the syllables curling around you like smoke. Thereâs amusement there, yes, but itâs tempered by something sharper. "Are you willing to pay the price to find out?"
You open your mouth to respond, but no sound comes out. It wouldnât matter anywayâhe doesnât wait for an answer. He moves in, slow and deliberate, like a creature thatâs known nothing but control. His face draws closer to your neck, his gaze locked onto you with chilling focus. You recoil, trying to back away, but itâs hopeless. The red mist pulses to life again, coiling around your body with unnatural precision. It grips you in place, binding your arms and waist with a strength that doesnât bruise but dominates.
The closer he gets, the more you realize something deeply wrongâthere is no heat from him. No warmth of breath. No radiating body heat. His nearness is like being held against marble. You shiver uncontrollably as he leans in, close enough that you feel the brush of his hair against your cheek. Then he inhales.
The sound he makes is inhuman. A guttural, hungry breath that vibrates somewhere deep in his chest. His nose brushes against the side of your neck with agonizing slowness, and the simple contact makes you flinch in terror. Still, he holds you firm, forcing you to feel every moment of it. Your pulse pounds beneath your skin, a wild rhythm betraying your fear.
"I knew I smelled something divine tonight," he murmurs, voice dipped in reverence and cruelty all at once. "A scent sweeter and more potent than a little lambâs blood...something that sings to instincts Iâd long buried."
His words hang in the air like a spell, and before you can make sense of them, he leans even closer. His nose grazes your neck again, slow and indulgent, as if savoring a glass of fine wine. You go completely rigid. Your entire body locks up, frozen by fear that is primal and paralyzing.
Then, barely a whisper, almost tender in tone: "A true sign of a virgin."
You gasp, shocked and offended and terrified all at once. Your body jerks in the mistâs grip, trying once again to pull away. "E-excuse me...?" The words are hoarse, caught between disbelief and your face heating up in embarrassment. The "man" chuckles, moving briskly away from your neck as if pleased to have mustered such a flustered reaction. The mist disperses once more, slipping off your body like evaporating fog, its cold touch fading slowly from your skin.
You stagger back a step, hand flying to your chest, your breath coming fast and uneven. Your heart hammers inside you like a trapped bird. A thousand thoughts race through your mindâwhat he is, what he wants, what could have just happenedâbut one emotion cuts through all of it: rage. Fury surges up through the humiliation like a rising tide.
You glare at him, your hands balling into fists, shoulders drawn back despite your trembling. Your voice comes out louder than you expect, full of heat and venom. "You think thatâs amusing? You hold me here, treat me like a toy to be played with and mention my virginity like a pig?"
You step forward, your chin raised. "Youâre no different from humans. Just another brute who masks cruelty with charm. I may be young, but Iâm not some soft little doll for you to leer at and humiliate. I'm not afraid of you anymore."
He sighs, the sound long and deliberate, drawn out like a teacher tired of correcting the same mistake. It carries a note of theatrical patienceâlike he's pretending to indulge you, just for fun. Then, predictably, another smirk carves across his face. "Ah yes, I'm a cruel monster who loves to prey on the weak," he drawls, every word soaked in mockery. "Especially sweet little virgins such as yourself."
The way he says it is vulgar without needing to be explicit, designed to provoke. He watches your reaction with open amusement, like he's flipping through a book he's already read and waiting for his favorite line to come up again.
He lifts his hand with an exaggerated laziness, and you instinctively tense. Behind you, the pew groansâancient wood dragging across stoneâas the red mist coils around it like a serpent. It lifts the heavy bench off the ground and shifts it back into its original place, neat and quiet, as if the chaos that brought it out of place had never happened.
"And yet...you're still standing here," he continues, his tone softening, but only on the surface. Thereâs mockery just beneath it, gleaming sharp. He takes a single step forward, slow and unhurried, his eyes narrowing as they lock onto yours. "I ponder why."
Your face burns hotter than before, the flush of fury creeping all the way to your ears. Every nerve feels raw under his gaze. You cross your arms tightly, not out of modesty but restraint. If you donât hold yourself together, you might shake apart.
"Hush with your disgusting implications," you snap, voice rising. "I was on my way out. Appreciate you for keeping my blood in my body...quite the vampire you are."
The words are laced with sarcasm. You throw the title back at him like itâs a curse, not sure whether you want to wound his pride or draw it out further. His reaction is maddening. He chuckles again, richer this time, more entertained than before. He doesnât look offended in the slightest.
Instead, he tilts his head, eyeing you like a curious animal. You get the sense heâs cataloging your every twitch, every word.
Still, he doesnât seem keen on holding you hostage. Thereâs no trap, no sudden mist to reel you back in, no final threat whispered to you. That silence, though eerie and unnerving, is the only permission you need. You take that as your sign to leave.
With your head held high and your fists clenched at your sides, you turn and begin to march toward the window you climbed in fromâyour only known exit, the same way you came in hours ago, when this cathedral was just another forgotten ruin to you. Now, it feels alive. Haunted. Youâll never see it the same way again.
"Ah ah, little lamb," he calls after you, voice light, teasing, but with something darker curling beneath the tone. "Leaving through the window? A bit undignified for a princess, donât you think?"
You stop in your tracks, spine straightening. You turn your head just enough to glare at him from the corner of your eye. Your mouth is already half-open, about to snap back that the doors were locked. But before you can fire your retort, he lifts a hand casually, like heâs brushing away a fly.
The red mist responds instantly. It rises from his form like smoke summoned by thought alone, tendrils winding out along the floor, sleek and purposeful. They snake toward the massive cathedral doors at the front of the sanctuary. With a slow, deliberate groan, the doors begin to open on their own, ancient hinges creaking under the weight of centuries.
Cold air rushes in, sharp with the scent of pine and earth and the faintest trace of wildflowers carried on the wind. Moonlight spills across the marble floor in long streaks, illuminating the dust in the air like falling stars.
You stare for a beat longer than intended. The display is dramaticâbut undeniably impressive. You huff under your breath, more annoyed than grateful, and start walking againâthis time toward the grand, open doorway. Each step echoes too loudly on the stone, but you force yourself not to quicken your pace.
As you pass him, you refuse to meet his gaze, though you feel the heat of it trailing you, heavy and deliberate.
"Oh," he says smoothly, just as your foot crosses into the doorway. "And if youâre about to send your dear old father to dispatch a legion of guards to kill me in his righteous fury...do tell him my name when he puts up the reward for my head."
You pause, just briefly, your pulse skipping. He waits, letting the silence draw out like thread stretched taut. "The nameâs Sylus," he finishes, a quiet smile in his voice. "Pleasure to meet you tonight, your highness."
You donât answer. You grip the edge of your cloak tighter, knuckles white, and step out into the night air without another word. You donât run, but every muscle in your body is coiled tight with the urge to flee. You walk with purpose, the cold wind biting at your skin, the trees rustling like whispering ghosts as you disappear into the darkness. You donât look back.
But the name stays with you.
Sylus.
You went back to the palace after that, shaken, silent, and utterly drained. Your limbs felt heavy as lead, your thoughts even heavier. You sat on your bed for what felt like hours, still in your cloak, still catching your breath, trying to understand what had just happened. What was that? Who was he?
When you finally drifted into sleep, it came in broken fragments. And when you awoke the next morning, the sunlight filtering weakly through your curtains, you tried desperately to convince yourself it had all been a dream. A strange, vivid nightmare conjured up from your exhaustion and your longing for escape.
But you were much too perceptive for such easy comfort. You knew better. You remembered the texture of the cathedral stone under your fingers. The smell of dust and pine and blood. The sound of his voice, deep and velvety. The cold grip of that red mist, the unnatural stillness in his skin. Dreams didnât leave behind details like that.
You half-considered telling Arnette. But even as you rehearsed the idea in your head, you knew you wouldnât go through with it. Not just because you'd be in trouble for sneaking out. No. It was more than that. If you told her, others would find out. Your father. The guards. The Court. And theyâd kill Sylus. Without question. A creature like that would be hunted, cornered, burned to ash.
Your fists tightened at the thought.
And he hadnât...technically done anything. He hadnât kept you. He hadnât bitten you. Heâd teased and frightened you, yes but in the end, heâd let you go. That simple fact twisted uncomfortably in your chest. You felt conflicted and you hated it. Hated the way his name lingered in your mind.
Sylus.
As you attend your daily lessons, your mind drifts far from the words and motions expected of you. Your body is present, but your thoughts are miles away. Entangled in memory, in moonlight, in a pair of crimson eyes. You barely register your instructorâs voice during your embroidery lesson, your stitches uneven and your thread tangled more than once as your hands move on autopilot.
By the time your dance lesson begins, your distraction becomes too obvious to ignore. You stumble during a turn, your slipper catching awkwardly on the polished floor. A sharp gasp escapes you as you trip over your own feet and nearly fall. When you glance up, you find your mother peering into the room from behind the open door, her expression tight with disapproval.
Your dance teacher clicks her tongue sharply. "Focus, young lady," she scolds, her tone clipped. "Grace and awareness are essential for your presentation."Â You bow your head, murmuring an apology with as much humility as you can muster. "Yes, of course. I apologize."
But no matter how hard you try to center yourself, the thoughts return. At lunch, when you're offered a bland, minimal plateâhaving had no breakfast, of course, because young noblewomen are expected to maintain their figuresâyou pick at your food and stare into the distance. You barely hear the light chatter of your brothers or the gossip of the servants. All you can think about is him.
Sylus.
It haunts you in flashesâhis voice, his smirk, the towering way he stood before you like a shadow draped in flesh. He had been so tall, so utterly imposing, that it made your breath catch without meaning to. And yet, despite it all, you hadnât felt pure terror. JustâŚa strange sense of being seen.Â
Later, during your evening bath, Arnette finally says something. She's gently scrubbing your legs, her sleeves rolled up, her hands methodical. But when she notices the thin scratch along your ankle, her fingers pause.
"Whatâs this, my lady?" she asks, her tone filled with concern as she leans in for a better look. "It looks fresh. You didnât hurt yourself last night did you?"
You freeze, unsure of how to respond. The memory of the tree branch, the stumble in the woods, comes rushing back with vivid clarity. You open your mouth, caught between honesty and silence, but only manage a quiet, "It's nothing. Im fine, its just a scratch. Please don't mention it."
Arnette isnât convinced, but she doesnât pushâonly sighs softly and begins applying ointment with care. "Youâve been so distracted today," she murmurs. "Is something on your mind? You seemâŚfar away."
You donât answer. You just sink a little deeper into the bathwater and close your eyes, trying not to think of cold hands and red mist and a name you canât seem to forget.
Arnette takes the hint and doesnât bring it up again. She finishes your bath in silence, humming softly under her breath as if to soothe the tension she canât name. Youâre grateful for it. The quiet is easier than trying to explain something you barely understand yourself.
By the time dinner arrives, your thoughts are no clearer. In fact, theyâve only grown more restless. The questions, the confusion, the lingering curiosityâthey coil tighter in your chest with every passing hour. Finally, you canât take it anymore.
You have to go back.
Both out of recklessness and to confirm you're not losing your mind. To see him again. To prove to yourself that it wasnât some fever dream born from a nightmare. You feign illness at the dinner table, your voice soft and your hand resting lightly on your forehead. "I'm not feeling well," you murmur. "Perhaps I should lie down."Â
Nobody objects. Your mother barely lifts her eyes from her plate. Your father doesnât speak at all. And of course, theyâd rather you skip a meal than risk adding any softness to your frame. You excuse yourself, walk calmly to your chambers, and shut the door behind you with practiced grace. The moment you're alone, your hands are already in motion, pulling back the edge of the rug to reveal the rope youâve prepared. Arnette peeks in one last time, her expression tight with concern. "Goodnight, my lady. Be careful," she says softly.
You nod, your heart already racing. "I will."
And then you're slipping out the window again, the cool night air hitting your face like a welcome slap. The stars are out, brighter than before, and the moon sits full and low in the sky. You clutch your cloak tighter around your shoulders as you begin your quiet escape through the garden and toward the edge of the woods.
You hadnât seen Celine at all today. Not in the morning, not outside your window, not even during your lessons. The absence gnaws at you, small but persistent. You can only hope sheâs alright. But right now, there's something elseâsomeone elseâpulling at your thoughts like a thread you canât stop tugging.
You follow your hand-drawn map carefully, your eyes darting from shadow to shadow as the trees loom around you. Each turn feels like a gamble, each path more unfamiliar than the last. A nervous voice in your mind whispers that you may have imagined it allâthat the cathedral was nothing more than a trick of your mind.
But then, like a mirage made real, the spires emerge from the treeline. The structure stands tall and silent, wrapped in darkness and ivy, just as imposing as you remember. Relief floods through your chest, your breath catching. You werenât imagining things. Itâs real.
This time, you donât climb through a broken window. You donât sneak. Instead, you stand in front of the massive cathedral doors, their ironwork twisted with age and weight. You raise your hand and knockâsoft at first, then a little louder, your knuckles echoing against the wood.
For a moment, nothing happens. You start to wonder if it was foolish to come back after all. But then the heavy doors begin to groan, slowly creaking open. You take a cautious step back, heart pounding.
No one stands behind them. The interior is darkâthen, one by one, the lanterns flicker on in long overhead rows, bathing the space in that same eerie, golden glow from before. You take it as a good sign. With hesitant steps, you walk inside, lifting a hand to shield your eyes from the sudden brightness. And as the doors shut quietly behind you, the outside world disappears once more.
The sounds of an organ soon fill the cathedral, low and echoing. The melody is hauntingâsorrowful yet strangely soothing. It wraps around your senses, and compels you forward. Your feet move without conscious thought, each step guided by the pull of that mournful tune.
At the far end of the sanctuary, seated at the grand organ with his back straight and his fingers flowing over the keys like water, sits Sylus. He plays with the kind of focus born from centuries of repetitionâhis eyes closed, face unreadable, and not a single note missed. He looks like a statue carved into life, ageless and unreal, framed by the swirling tendrils of red mist that rise around him like incense smoke.
You approach quietly, drawn in by the solemn beauty of it all. You pause at the base of the steps leading to the altar, your eyes fixed on him in silent awe. The last note lingers longer than the others, hanging in the air like a farewell kiss before finally dissolving into the high rafters.
"Sylus...?" you call out softly, your voice nearly drowned by the echoing silence that follows.
He turns slowly on the bench, his red eyes opening to meet yours. Thereâs a spark of amusement there, as if heâd been expecting you all along. "I'm quite surprised you've returned," he says, standing to his full, imposing height. "Arenât I supposed to be some heartless monster?"
You shift uncomfortably under his gaze, the memory of your last encounter still sharp in your chest. Thereâs no anger in his tone, but something about the way he says it stings, as though heâs poking at your guilt just to watch you squirm. You glance down, searching for words that don't make you sound foolish.
"I enjoyed the song," you say finally, looking up again, trying to steady your voice. "That was...Toccata and Fugue, wasnât it? Itâs very lovely. My servant used to hum it all the time."
He raises a single brow at you, a flicker of surprise mingling with the faintest trace of curiosity. "Lovely," he repeats at last, as if testing the word, tasting it with mild distaste or perhaps disbelief. His voice lowers slightly. "Not the word most would use to describe it."
"Well, yes...the beginning is quite intense. But the rest is quite soothing in my opinion," you say, your voice a touch unsteady. You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, unsure why you feel the need to defend your opinion so carefully, especially to him. Thereâs something disarming about the way he looks at youâlike heâs always two steps ahead.
He walks forward until heâs standing directly in front of you. The light flickers across his featuresâsharp cheekbones, eyes that still glow faintly red, and silver-white hair that falls effortlessly into place. Heâs striking in a way that unsettles you, beautiful in the same way a predator is.
"Well," he says coolly, tilting his head just slightly as he peers down at you. "Whatâs your purpose for being here? Surely you havenât come to ask me to turn you?"
His voice is smooth and mocking, the words laced with sarcasm. His lips curl into a faint sneer, like heâs daring you to say something naive. You scoff, though itâs more for your own benefit than his. Youâre trying to keep your composure, even as a flush rises to your cheeks. You force yourself to meet his gaze, refusing to shrink under the weight of his presence. "No. Of course not," you snap, voice firming. "I wanted to ask why you just let me go yesterday."
The question falls into the space between you, heavier than you expected. Itâs been gnawing at you since the moment you left the cathedralâthe moment the doors had shut behind you and the wind had swallowed up his name. You'd replayed it over and over again: how he couldâve harmed you, how he should have, if the stories were true. But he hadnât.
You study his face now, watching closely. Looking for a flicker of truth, of hesitation, anything that might reveal what kind of creature you're dealing with. But his expression is unreadable.
"It wasn't out of the kindness of my heart, if that's what you're pondering," he says with a low chuckle, the sound echoing faintly through the vast, hollow cathedral. He rubs his fingers together, almost as if he's measuring something intangible between them. His eyes catch the flicker of light, glinting like embers. "I just think the death of a virgin is quite tragic."
Your face flushes so hot, it feels like your skin might catch fire. Your breath catches in your throat, and you glance away sharply, your jaw tightening. It shouldnât sting the way it doesâbut it does. Of course that would be his answer. Why would he treat you with sincerity when he's a monster? You clench your hands into fists at your sides.
"Thought so," you snap back, your tone sharp and cold, laced with an edge you didnât quite mean to let show. But the ache that follows isnât anger. Its an invisible bruise blooming in your chest. "Quite expected from someone with no beating heart."
Sylus studies you silently, his smirk fading into something unreadable. "So you really came all the way here just to confirm my inhumanity? Didnât you already figure this out yesterday?"
You open your mouth, but the words trip and stumble on your tongue. Your confidence, already fraying, finally gives. "IâI..."
You release a breath, long and quiet, and your shoulders drop slightly. You don't try to hide your weariness this time. "When I found this place, I thought it could be the greatest hideaway Iâd ever discovered," you admit. Your voice comes out softer, as if youâre afraid speaking too loudly will break something fragile in you.
"Iâve spent so long trying to find somewhere that felt like it belonged to me. Somewhere untouched by everything Iâm expected to be."
Your eyes trail up the columns of the cathedral, the golden light spilling down the stone walls, casting long shadows on the ground.
"This place...it felt real. More real than anything Iâve known behind the palace walls," you continue. "And for a moment, I thought maybe I could be real here too. Not just someone's future bride or mother. Just...a person."
You finally meet his eyes again, your voice barely above a whisper now. "I naively came back because I needed to know whether or not that small dream was foolish. And you..."
You hesitate, swallowing hard. "You reminded me that I donât belong anywhere. So forgive me for coming back so recklessly. I'm just a royal whelp after all."
You donât know why youâre telling him all this. Why your heart is cracking open in front of someone who barely qualifies as human. Not that it matters. You doubt he genuinely cares. Heâs probably already forgotten half of what you said, filing it away as meaningless noise.
He doesnât answer immediately. He just hums low in his throatâan acknowledgment, perhaps, or maybe just a placeholder to fill the air between you. His eyes flicker toward you briefly, and then he moves past you without another word. You turn slightly to follow him with your eyes as he descends the stone steps from the altar, his every movement smooth and fluid, eerily graceful.
"I never said you had to leave," he says over his shoulder, his voice echoing slightly in the vast, empty space. "Or that you couldnât stay."
The words catch you off guard. They hit softly but land deep, filling your heart with hope you had long lost. He stops halfway down the steps, resting a hand lazily on the edge of a pew. The silence that follows seems to invite you inâinvite you to believe him.
"Honestly," he adds, exhaling in mock disappointment, "I assumed you came back to allow your fellow guards to ambush me. Thought Iâd get a bit of excitement tonight. Wouldâve made quite the dramatic evening. And a nice meal, but alas."
He smiles to himself, amused by the thought, and turns just enough to glance back at you from over his shoulder. You blink, trying to keep up with the shift in tone. Your mind spins, trying to decode his meaning, his sarcasm, the real intent beneath his words. "I canâŚbe here at night then?" you ask, hesitantly, the words escaping before you can stop them.
He walks to a forgotten vase sitting on the far side of the room, lifts it with one hand, and examines the dead flowers inside. "Donât attempt to move anything else," he says, brushing dust from the rim with a flick of his thumb, his tone casual but firm. "Otherwise, I donât care where you go or what you do here. Just be gone by sunrise."
The vase clinks softly as he sets it back down, and he doesnât even look at you as he finishes the sentence. You stand there for a moment longer, uncertain whether what you feel is relief, humiliation, or something far stranger.
"Iâthank you. Sylus," you say timidly, the words barely above a whisper. It feels strange to speak his name aloud, like invoking something ancient and powerful. He meets your gaze for the briefest moment, nods once, and then vanishes in a swirl of mist that snaps upward and dissipates into the rafters.
Strangely, it doesnât shock you nearly as much as it should. You simply stare at the empty space where he stood, your heartbeat steady, the weight of the moment oddly grounding.
Left alone in the silence, you decide to make use of the time. You explore the cathedral more freely now, your fingertips brushing over the surface of the organ heâd played earlier. The keys are smooth beneath your hand, cold to the touch. You press a few softly, the notes echoing faintly like ghost voices. You open creaking doors, peek behind aged tapestries, and wander deeper into the long-forgotten halls. Dust covers much of what you find, but the space holds a strange kind of peaceâa hush that feels like sanctuary.
Then you see it.
A narrow window gives way to the soft glow of candlelight, and when you peek through it, your breath catches. An entire room filled with booksâbooks stacked haphazardly on shelves, piled on tables, even scattered across the floor like fallen leaves. Your heart leaps.
You push the door open slowly, reverently, and step inside. The air smells of old parchment and ink, a scent youâve always loved. You run your fingers along the spines, marveling at the strange titles, the languages you donât recognize, and the sheer number of volumes.
You lose yourself in the pages for hours. History, mythology, anatomy, forbidden magicâthings youâd never be allowed to touch back at the palace. You devour them hungrily, your mind alight with wonder. For the first time in what feels like forever, you feel alive.
So engrossed are you in the world of ink and words that you donât even notice the first sliver of sunlight creeping across the stone floor. It isnât until a warm golden beam hits your arm that you gasp, looking up in horror. The sun is rising.
You slam the book shut, nearly knocking over a stack beside you, and scramble to your feet. You rush out of the library, down the long hall, and out the cathedral doors, your breath catching in your throat as you break into a sprint. At the edge of the clearing, you pause and glance back one last time. The cathedral looms behind you, still and silent, as if it had been sleeping the whole time.
You wonder, not for the first time, where Sylus sleeps.
The first few nights you return, youâre too wary to approach him. You donât know what to sayâor whether he even wants your presence there. Most evenings, you only catch glimpses of him: walking through the nave like a ghost. You learn quickly that some nights he hunts, disappearing into the woods and returning with a faint, coppery scent clinging to him. You don't ask questions.
Other times, the two of you simply coexist, sharing the same space but barely exchanging words. He sits beneath the high arch of a stained glass window; you curl up in the library with a stack of books, losing yourself in forbidden knowledge and forgotten languages. It becomes routineâfamiliar, even. Comfortable in its silence.
You think he doesnât notice your nightly visits to the library. You never announce yourself, and he never comments. Until one night, you step inside and find something waiting for you.
Lying on the corner of the library table, set delicately atop one of your half-finished books, is a bookmark. But not just any bookmarkâitâs gold-embossed, thin, with delicate etchings that catch the light like lace. A feather engraved in the metal shimmers faintly in the candlelight.
You stare at it for a long moment before picking it up gently, running your thumb over the texture. Itâs beautiful. You donât see him that night, but when you leave, you find him sitting silently on the steps of the altar, as if heâs been there all along.
"Thank you," you say, pausing in the aisle.
He glances up briefly, his expression unreadable. Then he nodsâjust once. Thatâs all. But itâs enough to make your heart feel inexplicably full as you step into the cool night air.
It warms your heart to think that someone thought of you. The gesture, simple as it was, lingers in your mind far longer than it should. For several nights after, you turn the golden bookmark over in your hands like a cherished trinket, studying the etched rose with quiet reverence. You run your fingers along its edges, press it between pages, and smile every time you find it waiting in your book again.
But you can't visit him.
Security at the palace tightens unexpectedly. Word spreads of unrest between kingdomsâtensions rising, alliances fraying, and whispers of a looming war echoing through court corridors. Everyone is on edge. Guards now patrol the grounds late into the night, and new curfews are enforced under strict penalty.
Even Celine seems distressed. Your poor dove, usually so calm and affectionate, flutters nervously at your window each afternoon, chirping as though sensing your growing restlessness. You cradle her gently, whispering comfort into her soft feathers while your mind turns over plan after plan.
You miss him. You miss the silence, the cathedral, the way being there felt like slipping into another life entirelyâone where you weren't a doll to be displayed or a burden to be shaped.
Eventually, the ache of absence becomes unbearable.
One afternoon, after days of waiting and pacing and failed attempts to sneak out, you manage to dig a narrow tunnel beneath the outer garden wall. It's a slow, dirty process that leaves your hands blistered and raw, but it works. As soon as the sun dips low, you crawl through the cramped passage, heart pounding with hope and fear in equal measure.
And when the cathedralâs spires rise through the trees, silhouetted against the twilight sky, a wave of aching relief washes over you.
"Sylus! I wasn't able to leave until now. I apologize for keeping your bookmâ" you stop mid-sentence, the words dying in your throat as your eyes widen.
Sylus stands at the far end of the nave, framed by the pale light slanting in through the stained glass windows. He calmly dabs at the corner of his mouth with a bloodied handkerchief, the deep crimson stark against the whiteness of the cloth. A faint smear remains at the edge of his lip, glinting wet in the fading light. He doesnât flinch or hide itâinstead, he merely blinks in what might be surprise at your sudden appearance. But it passes quickly, and his posture eases, his features smoothing into a relaxed, neutral expression.
"So I've heard," he says, folding the cloth with a strange sort of elegance and tucking it away into his coat. "The kingdom is quite restless these days."
He starts walking toward you, his shoes making no sound on the stone floor. Thereâs something both beautiful and unnerving about the way he movesâas if heâs always aware of every breath you take.
You hesitate, still trying to steady your breath after your frantic journey. The moment feels heavy, like youâve interrupted something not meant to be seen. "You go into the village?" you ask quietly, voice a touch incredulous. "I thought sunlight hurts you?"
He chuckles, the sound low and rich, reverberating through the cold air and off the high vaulted walls. It echoes too long to be natural. "Childrenâs books arenât good references for learning, little lamb."
He closes the distance between you, reaching out before you can react. His hand ruffles your hair gently, playfully, like one might greet a pet or a younger sibling. The gesture is unexpected, intimate in its own way, and your body stiffens in surprise. You jump slightly at the contact, heat rushing to your cheeks.
"I can be in the sun," he continues, drawing his hand back and tucking it into his coat pocket. "It just isn't pleasant on the skin and eyes. Like standing too close to a fire. Irritating, not deadly."
He glances up toward the stained glass, where moonlight seeps in through panes of red and violet, casting soft, eerie shadows across the floor. "Pain and death are not always synonymous. I am nocturnal because I choose to be."
You're in awe and realize something you hadnât dared to admit before: you want to know more about him. About his kind. About the centuries heâs seen, the truths buried behind his past. The words rise in your throat slowly, but you finally find the courage to ask.
"Sylus...will you tell me about yourself?"
At first, he seems hesitant. You think for a moment heâll mock you or refuse. But instead, after a long pause, he sighs quietly and gestures for you to sit. You both settle across from each otherâon opposite ends of a long, worn bench near the altar. The cathedral is quiet around you, its silence almost reverent, like it too is holding its breath.
He begins slowly.
His voice is almost detached as he tells his story. How he wasnât born this way. How he was just a boyâno older than your youngest brothersâwhen he was turned. Not by choice. Just wrong place, wrong time. He speaks of his village, tucked deep in the mountains, how they didnât understand. How they feared him once the signs began to show. The way his appetite changed. The way he no longer craved real food. How the dogs barked at him in the night.
And thenâhow they came for him.
He tried to hide, but they found him anyway. They killed his parents first, thinking they were protecting others. And when they turned on him, he ran. He ran for years. Through forests and villages, watching generations live and die. Watching languages shift. Cultures collapse. Watching the world forget the boy he used to be.
Eventually, he tells you, he stopped running. Settled here, out of the way. A place with livestock, where no one asked too many questions about the dead things in the woods. When he finishes, the silence between you is suffocating. Your hands tremble in your lap, and your eyes are wet. You hadnât realized you were crying until you feel a tear slip down your cheek. He watches you with a somber and curious expression.
"Thatâs...my history," he says finally. "Not quite a child's tale, is it?"
You donât know what possesses you, but you move before you can thinkâcrossing the space between you and Sylus, wrapping your arms around him in a tight, sudden hug. The contact is brief at first, hesitant, as if you're afraid he might vanish. But then your fingers tighten slightly into the fabric of his coat. Emotion swells in your chest, uncontainable, messy. It surges like a dam breaking.
"Iâm...sorry," you murmur into the thick material. His body is cold and unnaturally still. "Humans are awful. Iâm well aware of that fact too. And for the record, I like children's tales."
The moment stretches too long, a beat too intimate, and panic grips you. You pull back quickly, as if burned, your eyes wide and breath shallow. Realization crashes in like cold water. "S-sorry! I just... I thought maybe it had been a while since you were hugged...?"
He stares at you for a long moment, the weight of his gaze pinning you in place. But then his eyes soften slightly, the usual sharpness in them dulled by something gentler. "Itâs quite alright," he says quietly, and there's the faintest hint of surprise in his voice. "It felt...lovely."
You feel your face burn. Your cheeks grow hot, and the heat spreads down your neck, into your chest. His words play on repeat in your head, looping with dizzying intensity. "Yes?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper, unsure if you even want the answer or just needed to hear him say it again.
"Yes," he confirms, more firmly this time. His voice drops an octave, warm and rich. His eyes lock with yours, and thereâs a gleam behind them, something impossible to escape.
"You're quite warm."
You feel frozen in place, unable to look away. It wasn't exactly a secret, not even from the start. You always knew he was beautiful in a haunting, inhuman way. But now, with him this close, with that look in his eyesâa gaze that seems to read every thought you've ever hadâyou canât pretend anymore.
Heâs handsome. Strikingly so. And worse yet, youâre starting to feel it. To want more.
The room feels warmer, though the air remains cool. Your heart hammers in your chest, your palms damp. Your head spins like the very cathedral itself is swaying around you, its old stone bones echoing the sudden rush of blood in your ears.
"I need to leave early tonight," you say suddenly, cutting through the heavy tension lingering in the air. You gather your cloak with a touch more urgency than necessary, avoiding his eyes. "Iâm going to the village tomorrow with my mother. Iâll need all my energy for it."
For a second, something flickers across Sylus's face. Disappointment? You canât be sure. Itâs gone too quickly, replaced by his usual calm, aloof expression. He nods once and turns his attention to a nearby book, the golden lamplight catching on the sharp line of his jaw.
"Farewell, for now then. Tell me of your travels tomorrow." he says, voice quiet.
You mumble your goodbye and rush out of the room, cloak fluttering behind you as your footsteps echo off the stone. You don't dare look back, not wanting him to see the furious blush blooming across your cheeks or the frantic thoughts spinning through your mind.
All the next day, you canât stop thinking about him.
Every moment of silence stretches too long. Every flicker of red you see in a tapestry or thread reminds you of his eyes. You find yourself absentmindedly touching the place where his fingers had ruffled your hair. The memory sends a jolt through your chest, warming and unsettling all at once.
Even during the carriage ride to the village, your thoughts are tangled in last nightâs conversationâhis voice, his stare, his expression just before you left. You wonder if heâs thinking of you too, or if you were just another passing visitor in a lifetime of centuries.
The village is bustling with morning energy, carts rolling by and children darting between vendors. Your mother walks ahead with a dignified pace, stopping to greet nobles and merchants alike. You try to stay focused, to mimic her composure, but your gaze keeps drifting.
It happens when you least expect it.
Your mother is speaking to a merchant, inquiring about fabrics, when your eyes catch on a poster nailed to a wooden post just beyond the stall. You step closer, curious, and then the words on the parchment leaps out at you like a bolt of lightning.
Wanted.
You freeze, eyes locked on the aged parchment. You read the words aloud under your breath before you can stop yourself. "Crimson-eyed fugitive...seen near the eastern woodlands..."
Your voice is soft, but your mother hears it anyway. She turns sharply, brow furrowed in suspicion. "How in the world did you manage to read that dear?"
Panic surges in your chest, cold and instant. Your mind races for an excuse, a deflection. But then, right on cue, your brothers start shouting over each other, arguing about who gets to pick the next sweet from the vendor's tray. The noise erupts loud and chaotic, drawing your motherâs attention away from you.
She turns to scold them, distracted. Her voice rises in reprimand, hands on her hips, her moment of suspicion forgottenâor at least delayed. You exhale shakily and take a slow step back from the poster, heart pounding so hard it echoes in your ears. You can still see the drawing of his face, a stylized depiction with piercing red eyes. You wonder if anyone else has recognized him. If anyone else knows where he is.
You should ask him about this. Definitely warn him. Surely he hasn't murdered anyone? Not the Sylus that you had come to know.
Youâre almost nervous to bring it up. Something about Sylus tonight feels off. He doesnât greet you with his usual dry amusement or smug commentary. Instead, he seems distractedâirritated, even. His posture is tense, his eyes sharper than normal, flickering toward the shadows as if expecting something. Maybe he's tired? Maybe something happened? Whatever it is, heâs not his usual, composed self, and it unsettles you more than you care to admit.
Still, you gather your courage and press forward.
"I saw wanted posters in the village," you say cautiously, trying to keep your tone neutral. "They had your face on them. Your description. Sylus...did you do something?" His jaw tightens, his eyes growing darker, unreadable. He turns away slightly, as if the question itself leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. The silence stretches long and taut, and your stomach knots with unease. Then, finally, he speaks.
"Animal's blood doesnât always satisfy me," he says, voice low and cold. Its all he has to say before he goes silent again, looking at you with a raised eyebrow.
Your heart slams against your ribs. So it was true? He was the one killing and draining the blood of those people? "Sylus...thatâs...you shouldnât..." you stammer, stumbling backward slightly, your voice faltering. The idea of him feeding on humans sends a chill through you. His head turns slowly, and his gaze meets yours. Thereâs a gleam in his crimson eyesâmocking, wild,...a kind of simmering hunger you hadnât seen in him before.
"Hm? What? Are you suddenly afraid?" he murmurs, the question a quiet threat, soaked in something feral.
He rises from his seat in a single, smooth movement, his presence growing with every step. His coat shifts behind him like a trailing shadow. In an instant, heâs closerâtoo close. You instinctively retreat, but the cold air around him seems to press in on all sides, suffocating and sharp.
You search his face, desperate to find some trace of the man youâve grown used to. But tonight, his mask is slipping. Thereâs something primal bleeding through the cracks. "You think I live on pretty speeches and nostalgia? That centuries of restraint are always enough?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper but filled with a rough, aching edge. You can barely breathe. Heâs standing so close now that the candlelight catches the faint shimmer of dried blood still clinging to the edge of his mouth. The sight makes your stomach twist.
Heâs not acting like himself tonight.
âSylusâŚ?â you whimper, voice trembling as you flinch away from his touch. But itâs too late. He grabs you. The pain shoots through your arms as his grip tightens, far stronger than it needs to beâfar stronger than anything human. You cry out, the sound echoing through the empty cathedral, swallowed quickly by the shadows.
His face is far too close now. His breath brushes your skin, cold as ice. One of his eyesâhis rightâseems to glow more brightly than the other, a pulsing crimson that feels like a warning.
âMy restraint only exceeds so far,â he growls, voice low and strained. âDo you have any idea what youâve done to me since we met? I dream of just one taste of your sweet bloodâŚto ravish and rob you of your virgin innocence.â
Your gasp is sharp, horrified. You struggle against him, but his hold doesnât budge. Tears blur your vision and streak down your cheeks, the betrayal cutting deeper than his fingers ever could.
âPleaseâŚ,â you sob, chest heaving. âI thought you liked meâŚâ
He doesnât answer. His mouth parts slightly, and before you can brace for it, his tongue brushes your throat. You scream. Itâs not just a cryâitâs a raw, guttural wail of terror, piercing the still cathedral like shattered glass. The sound jolts through the space, echoing through vaulted ceilings. Sylus stumbles back like heâs been struck. His eye pulses, then fades. His whole body shudders. He clutches his ear with one hand, turning from you, his chest rising and falling like heâs winded.
You hit the ground with a jarring thud, sobbing openly now, curling in on yourself. Every muscle trembles, your breath broken and shallow. You can barely register the world around you beyond the pounding in your ears.
"I...," Sylus says, voice hoarse. It's the first time youâve ever heard him sound unsure. "I didnât...it wasnâtâ"
He cuts himself off, the weight of his own words too much. Then he exhales, low and heavy, and lowers his hand. When he looks back at you, something in his expression has changed. The menace is gone. Whatâs left behind is obvious shame.
"You should leave," he says softly. "Itâs not safe for you here right now. I haven't hunted in a few days."
You hesitate, flinching when he extends a hand. The gesture is small, but so jarring in its gentleness that it disarms you. The danger feels like itâs passed though. Shaking, you reach out and take his hand. He helps you up with care, no trace of the violence from moments ago. The silence between you is unbearable. You turn, cloak fluttering behind you, eyes downcast. You donât dare speak. Your throat is still raw, and you feel the weight of his gaze burning into your back as the doors close.
You knew you shouldn't go back. Every voice of reason in your head screams for you to stay away. Dealing with a being like himâone who could lose control so easilyâwas clearly putting your life in danger. What he had done, what he had nearly done...it should've been enough to keep you away forever. The sensible part of your mind still echoes with fear, still flinches at the memory of his hands and his hunger, of how close you came to losing yourself to him entirely.
But it wasnât enough.
The irrational part of youâthe part that longed for escape, for something more than gilded cages and hollow smilesâdragged you back. You couldnât help yourself. You wanted to see him. You needed to feel something. And here, in this forgotten place, surrounded by stone and secrets, you felt more alive than anywhere else. Here, you werenât the perfectly postured daughter of a noble house. You were something else. Someone real.
Thereâs no hesitation in your steps tonight. You donât even knock. You walk straight through the heavy cathedral doors, the scent of cold stone and faint incense wrapping around you like a shroud. Your boots echo across the ancient floor as you make your way down the center aisle.
Heâs there, as if he never moved. Seated alone in one of the pews near the front, posture composed, hands folded loosely in his lap. A black crow settles beside him, its beady eyes radiating intelligence. It tilts its head when it sees you, but doesn't make a sound. His expression is unreadable at first but when his gaze lifts and locks with yours, something in his eyes softens. The corners of his mouth twitch, as if a smile almost dares to form.
You're about to ask about the bird, when he suddenly gets up. He raises his hand and beckons you to follow.
You hesitate for only a heartbeat before moving to him. He leads you down the familiar corridor, deeper into the cathedralâs belly, your footsteps trailing behind his silent stride. The air grows warmer the farther you go. The heavy wooden door to the library creaks open, and you step into the quiet sanctuary of books.
He gestures toward a spot on the thick rug near a low table. A few cushions are strewn about haphazardly, and the soft golden glow of a nearby lantern pools over several open volumes. You sit beside him, close enough to feel the chill that still clings faintly to his presence, but far enough to keep the space between you safe.
For a moment, he says nothing. Then he picks up a thin, worn book from the stack and opens it. The binding creaks softly.
When he speaks, his voice is low and slow. He reads the way one might recite an old poem. The story is a simple one, a child's tale of a brave princess and a clumsy dragon who become unlikely friends. His deep timbre wraps around the words and fills the quiet room, his cadence soothing.
You lean in slightly without meaning to, caught in the rhythm of his storytelling. Your eyes scan the illustrations, old ink sketches that seem oddly charming despite the age of the book. Your shoulders begin to loosen, the tension easing from your body. He keeps reading. Another story, and another.
And then you realizeâhe remembered.
He remembered the way your face lit up when you found this room, how youâd talked, with unexpected enthusiasm, about the books you used to sneak from the palace library. Books filled with fairy tales and fantasy, stories that always meant more to you than etiquette manuals or courtship guides ever could.
This was his apology. His way of attempting to comfort you. He likely could not bring himself to say the words, or likely wasn't sure how. But it was there in the gentle way he turned each page, in how he chose stories with happy endings and characters who overcame loneliness. It was in how he let you sit close without teasing you for it.
It warms something deep inside your chest. Makes your throat tighten with emotion. You glance at him, watching the way the candlelight dances across his skin, the curve of his mouth as he reads. He looks calm tonight. But there's a fragility to itâas if heâs rebuilding something inside himself, brick by careful brick.
You don't even realize you had leaned on his shoulder until the gentle shift of movement stirs you awake. Your cheek brushes against something solid yet cool and you blink in drowsy confusion. The first light of dawn is spilling lazily through the cathedralâs tall stained-glass windows, casting fractured colors across the dusty floor and your skin.
Your body aches slightly from the awkward position, but itâs the warmth of the moment that makes your heart ache more. Slowly, you lift your head from Sylusâs shoulder, eyes still bleary with sleep.
"You sat there all night?" you murmur, your voice raspy, still wrapped in the haze of slumber. You blink a few more times, rubbing your eyes as the soft morning glow sharpens the outline of his face.
Sylus turns to look at you, his features blank for a moment. But then he nods, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "You fell asleep. I didnât want to disturb you."
His voice is low, smooth, but lacks the usual edge. Thereâs only sincerity there. You search his face for mockery and find none. You sit up straighter now, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, still trying to make sense of what just happened. That he let you sleep against himâthat he stayed still for hours, keeping watch. A vampire, a predator, waiting in silence while you rested...it was quite unbelievable.
He rises to his feet, movements fluid but a bit slower than usual. His gaze drifts toward the fractured golden light stretching across the stone floor. "Run along now, before the sunâs fully up," he murmurs, turning his head just enough to glance at you. "The daylightâs not kind to me, I'd like to rest."
You hesitate, not wanting to leave. But you both know that you must. You gather your things slowly, reluctant to break the moment. You glance back one last time as you reach the library door. He hasnât moved. He sits next to the tiny light like a statue from another time, avoiding warmth he canât fully feel except for except painfully, surrounded by shelves.
Things were never quite the same after that.
With growing rumors of war and a kingdom growing more restless by the day, you found yourself more desperate than ever to escapeâto return to the cathedral, to him. Each night became a sanctuary. Each stolen moment between you and Sylus carved itself into your bones like a secret prayer.
You eventually learn more about the crow you saw that night. His name is Mephisto. Sylus uses him as sort of a messenger bird, similar to pigeons, and Mephisto started routinely dropping you little presents at your palace window at night. Various pebbles, jewelry, plants. He even seemed please to learn about Celine, your own pet bird, and you promised to attempt to find her nest and bring her along one night.
You two would talk for hours in the flickering light of candles or under the cool blue wash of moonlight through the stained-glass windows. He humored your endless questions about vampire lore with the faintest of smiles playing on his lips, patient as ever.
"Do you really need permission to enter someoneâs home?"
"No," he replied smoothly, leaning back against a pew. "But I'd like to think I'm quite polite."
"Does garlic hurt you?"
"I do miss the taste at times. But no."
Sometimes, he'd follow your questions with storiesâwry, quiet tales from distant centuries that made you laugh or ache or stare at him in wonder. Time had weathered him, but not worn him down. If anything, it gave him a charm you could lean into.
He began teaching you how to play the cathedralâs grand organ. His cool hands would gently adjust your fingers on the keys, and heâd praise you for every note, no matter how small the progress.
One night, after particularly long practice, he finally showed you where he slept.
The cathedral basement was a dark, quiet hollow of stone and cold air. No coffin, much to your amusementâjust a thick velvet blanket laid across the stone floor and a shelf of worn books nearby. You teased him gently, and he chuckled, unbothered.
"A coffin would be quite theatrical," he said simply, and you laughed.
The nights turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. And slowly, almost without realizing, he began filling the little holes in your heart, patching the frayed edges of your loneliness with his presence, his attention, his strange, unwavering respect for you. He never pushed. Never demanded. Just...existed beside you, like a shadow.
And each time you returned to the palace, you felt the growing emptiness of the life youâd once accepted with dread. Because compared to the quiet joy you found in that cathedral, everything else felt hollow.
Everything else felt like pretending.
Until finally, something between you both snapped.
You were in the cathedral library once more, the massive shelves looming like sentinels in the low light. Sylus had noticed you shivering during your nightly visits, and without a word, took it upon himself to restore the old stone fireplace. Tonight, a warm fire crackled softly nearby, its golden glow spilling across the room and licking at the floorboards. You watched the flames with awe, letting the rare warmth envelope your body like a second skin. Sylus, ever cautious of fire, approached warily but still chose to sit beside you. Even seated, his large frame dwarfed yours, a cool presence against the heat of the fire.
You hesitated only a moment before letting your impulse take over. Carefully, boldly, you crawled into his lap, your limbs curling into him like you belonged there.
"This is unbecoming of royalty," he murmured, a teasing glint in his eyes.
But he made no move to stop you.
His arms rested loosely around you as you nestled against his chest, feeling the weight of his attention settle fully on you. You stayed like that for a while, lulled by the fire and his steady, unblinking presence. Then, slowly, nervously, you tilted your head up to meet his gaze.
He was already looking at you.
The air grew heavy, charged with something neither of you dared name. You stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, the firelight dancing in his crimson eyes. Then, heart pounding, you leaned up and kissed him. He was coldâshockingly cold, like marble soaked in ice water. It startled you, but not enough to stop. There was no heat in his skin, but the emotion behind his kiss burned all the same. He didnât hesitate. His mouth claimed yours with quiet, deliberate urgency. His lips parted against yours, and his tongue brushed over yours in a movement so intimate it stole your breath.
He was carefulâachingly so. Not once did you feel the razor edge of his fangs, though you knew they hovered there, barely restrained. He moved like a man afraid to break something delicate.
It was wild.
And it was more alive than anything youâd ever known.
His hands ghosted over your body, tentative yet reverent, as if memorizing you through touch alone. One moment, you were curled in his lapâthen the next, the two of you were on the floor. The fire crackled in the background, its warmth flickering across the stone, casting shadows that seemed to dance along with your heartbeat. Sylus loomed above you, his body a wall of stillness, cold and commanding. You lay beneath him, tremblingânot from fear, but the overwhelming arousal bursting in your body.
Your breath came in shallow waves, and he seemed to notice. His movements slowed. He dipped his head, lips brushing against your throat, and paused there. You felt his breath, cool and uneven, against your skin. His eye gleamed, that crimson light glowing brighter than before. The hunger in him was palpable, pressing into the air between you.
But you didnât flinch. You didnât turn away. Instead, you reached for him. Your fingers threaded into his silvery hair, anchoring yourself to him.
âSylusâŚâ you whispered, voice trembling with something between courage and surrender. You tilted your head, exposing your neck fully. âItâs alright. Drink.â
The words hung heavy between you. An invitation, a vow. Whatever happened next, you were no longer afraid.
He paused, his breath catching as his nose hovered just above your neck, and a low growl reverberated deep in his chest. His hands, once exploring with reverent curiosity, now gripped the floor beside your head like he was anchoring himselfâlike letting go might ruin you both.
"I can't do that to you," he muttered, voice hoarse and dark, trembling with restraint. You felt his breath ghost against your skin, cool and sharp like mist off a blade. He pulled back slightly, just enough for his eyes to meet yours. And god, those eyes. There was longing in them. Hunger. And torment so fierce it almost looked like pain.
"Once I begin, I canât stop."
He leaned closer again, his lips nearly brushing yours, his voice sinking lower, rougher. "Iâll claim you," he whispered. "Every inch. Every part. Your blood, your soul, your innocence."
Each word struck like a spark in your chest.
His jaw was tight now, his entire body coiled like a beast barely contained. You could feel the tension vibrating off of him. He wanted youâyesâbut not as a fleeting indulgence. As something far more complete. Consuming. "Weâll become one," he breathed, and his words came out slow, like he needed you to understand this wasn't something casual for him. "And you will no longer be human."
The firelight behind him cast flickering shadows across his face, giving his sharp features a sculpted, ancient kind of beautyâdangerous and otherworldly. You saw centuries of loneliness and loss in his eyes. And now...hope, tangled in with desire. His crimson gaze bore into you, unmoving, unblinking. The weight of what he offeredâand what he threatenedâpressed down on you until it felt like you couldn't breathe. Your pulse roared in your ears, louder than the fire.
You think of your life back at the palace. Every movement measured, every word rehearsed. A future already carved out for you, not with care, but with cold, calculated duty. You were raised like a doll: beautiful, polished, and hollow. Trained for nothing more than decoration and obedience.
A thing to be admired, not heard. A symbol of grace to be shown off and traded like a piece on a board. Youâve spent your entire life counting down the days until youâd be handed over and gifted to some man as a wife, a vessel for heirs, a crown to sit prettily beside another. And now those days are almost over.
The weight of it all crashes down at once. Tears spring to your eyes before you can stop them. Your throat tightens as your breath becomes a series of ragged, shallow gasps. Your shoulders quake. Every attempt to steady yourself fails. "Sylus...I can't do this anymore," you choke out, your voice fractured, the confession pouring from you like blood from a wound.
"My father...heâs sold me."
Sylus freezes. The look on his face shiftsâhis eyes widening with disbelief before darkening with something far fiercer. Anger, perhaps. You continue, the words spilling past the lump in your throat. "The war is coming. The neighboring king was killed just last week, assassinated, they say. His son has been crowned the new king...and he needs a wife to rule beside him. So my fatherâ"
You canât finish. The words catch and die in your throat. Your vision blurs with tears. Your hands curl into fists, trembling. You glance at Sylus through your lashes, but he's just staring down at you like he wants to tear the world in half.
"He told me last night," you whisper, voice barely audible, "that I have one week left in the palace. One week before Iâm shipped off to be a wife and bare heirs to the throne."Â Your arms wrap around your waist as if to hold yourself together. But thereâs no stopping the tremble in your chest, the ache in your ribs.
"I can't, Sylus. I can't do it. I donât want to go!"
Your voice fractures, breaking entirely as you pull him closer from your position on the floor, burying your face into his chest. The scent of him grounds you. His body is cold, but his embrace is steady. At first, he doesnât move. But then, slowly, his arms wind around you. Tighter than ever before.
âSo please. I donât care anymore. Take me. Turn me. I want to be here with you. Or wherever you go. I want to finally live. Even if I'm not truly alive anymore.â
The words spilled out of you like a dam breaking, soaked in every ounce of yearning and fear youâd buried for far too long. You reached up blindly, cradling his face between your trembling hands and pressing your noses together. His skin was cold, impossibly cold, but to you it was the most grounding thing in the room right now. Your tears smeared across your cheeks and onto his, but you didnât let go.
Sylus watched you in stunned silence, as though youâd just rewritten the ending to a story he thought had already been carved in stone. His eyes searched yours. He slowly closed his eyes, the lines of his face hardening for a moment.
"This is what you want? To give yourself to me? Truly?" he whispered. His voice was tight, cracking under the weight of the moment. His hands hovered at your waist, like he didnât trust himself to hold you. You answered him the only way you could, with a kiss. It wasnât gentle. It was raw and aching, your lips crashing into his with all the hunger youâd tried to deny. Your hands gripped at his collar, clinging to him like a lifeline, as though if you didnât anchor yourself to him now, youâd be swept away by the world waiting to devour you.
"Thatâs my answer, Sylus," you breathed, forehead pressed to his, your lips trembling.
For a heartbeat, he did nothing. Then he moved.
His grip tightened around you, this time with intentionâpossessive, electric. He didn't say anything, but you felt the change in the air, the pull between your bodies like gravity shifting. He leaned over you, hair falling like silver smoke around his face. You could barely breathe. He didnât kiss you this time. His lips trailed down your jawline, lingering over the pulse hammering at your throat. When he paused there, you could feel the tension rippling through his body. His breath hitched against your skin.
"This will hurt," he warned, his voice a ragged whisper, the sound of it almost mournfulâlike he was apologizing for what he was about to do. His breath trembled where it brushed your throat, and his hands finally settled at your waist, no longer trembling, but firm.
Your heart thundered against your ribcage, each beat louder than the last. Your hands, which had been on his face, now moved gently, wrapping against the back of his neck. You ran your thumbs slowly over his skin. âI-I'm aware,â you said softly, your voice shaking with anticipation.
And thenâhe sank his fangs into your skin.
The pain was immediate and excruciating, like lightning igniting your blood. It wasnât just sharpâit was devouring, like being set ablaze from the inside out. Your body jerked beneath him, mouth parting in a cry you couldnât hold back. But he held you tighter, one arm circling your back, the other pressing gently against your side as if to say: I have you. Stay with me.
You felt the pull, his mouth drinking, your life ebbing. It felt like unraveling, piece by piece. Every fear, every burden, every bitter memoryâhe took them. Drained them. Consumed them with your blood. You gasped as your body began to tremble, and your grip on his shoulders became a lifeline.
Tears welled in your eyes, spilling hot down your cheeks. Pain lanced through your neck like lightning, white-hot and merciless. You cried out, body arching under him as every nerve screamed in shock.
He got greedier and greedier, his strength seemingly doubling with each passing second as your own began to slip away. What began as a painful but bearable sensation turned into a slow drowningâyour limbs growing heavy, your vision blurring at the edges. You could feel the beat of your heart grow sluggish in your chest, as if your body was beginning to forget how to stay alive.
You whimpered softly, the firelight warping above you like a distant dream, and for one terrifying moment, you thought he would drink you to death. But then, at the very edge of your consciousness, he stopped. With a sharp breath, he pulled back from your neck, his chest heaving, his lips stained with red.
Your blood glistened as it trickled down his chin. He licked it away slowly, savoring it like rare wine. You weakly reached for him, fingertips brushing the fabric at his chest.
"You taste divine, my love," he growled, his voice thick with need as he seized your mouth in a hungry, possessive kiss. It was wild and consuming, your blood still fresh on his lips. "I will yearn this taste when you are turned."
When he finally pulled away, you blinked up at him, breath shaky. "I don't feel any different..." you murmured, voice slurred with exhaustion. There was no surge of power, no sharp clarity or transformation. Just a dizzying coldness creeping through your body. He shook his head slowly, a faint smirk ghosting across his face as he reached out to brush hair from your damp forehead. "Thatâs not what turns you," he said quietly. His crimson eyes shimmered in the firelight, filled with lust and longing.
You blink up at Sylus, your vision blurry and weak, as confusion clouds your mind. The implications of his words are slow to register, but as he moves, your eyes widen in disbelief. Sylus's hands move deliberately to the buttons on his pants, his fingers deftly working each one open. The sound of fabric parting is sharp in the quiet, drawing your gaze downward.
As the pants fall away, you see itâthe unmistakable, hard outline of his large throbbing cock. It stands defiantly, which should have been impossible given the lack of blood in his own body. But instead, he seemed to have been drawing strength from you, siphoning your own vitality to fuel his body. His cock pulses visibly, a living, throbbing entity that demands attention. The sight is both mesmerizing and horrifying, a stark contrast to the drained, weakened state you find yourself in.
Your terror shifts, morphing into a new, raw fear that grips your heart. The thought of sex, something you'd never even considered unless married, now looms before you like a dark shadow. Your neck throbs with a relentless, white-hot pain, the bites a constant reminder of the violence inflicted upon you. The very idea of penetration now seems like a new form of agony, one you're not sure you can endure.
As Sylus removes his cock from his pants, the sight of it, hard and ready, sends a shiver of dread down your spine. He begins to stroke it slowly, his movements deliberate and intent. His eyes, filled with a tense, lustful expression, bore into you, and you can't help but feel like a trapped animal. His words, meant to soothe, only heighten your anxiety. "Don't be afraid. The worst part is over, little lamb," he whispers, his voice a low, seductive murmur.
You whimper weakly, the sound barely audible, as his hands slide under your dress. The touch of his skin against yours is electric, sending jolts of fear and pain through your body. You moan into his mouth as he leans over you and captures you into another kiss, the sound more of agony than pleasure.
Sylus's voice is a low, husky whisper, his words dripping with a hunger that sends a shiver down your spine. "You don't know how long I've been yearning for this. For you," he murmurs, his fingers finding their way to your pussy, rubbing over the thin fabric of your briefs. The sensation is unexpected, a strange, hot ache that blooms in your core, making you squirm beneath his touch. Your body betrays you, a moan escaping your lips as you arch into him, seeking more of this unfamiliar pleasure.
Emboldened by your response, Sylus's movements become more assertive. He roughly grabs your briefs, tugging them down with a swift, decisive motion. The cool air against your bare skin makes you shiver, a mix of anticipation and fear coursing through your veins. "W-wait-," you start to protest, but your words are cut off as Sylus pushes his head under your dress, his long, deft tongue finding your clit. He rubs circles around your clit, his movements sure and skillful.
The sensation is overwhelming, a shockwave of pleasure that makes you cry out, "Ah!" The heat and wetness of his tongue are surprisingly intense, and your virgin body can't keep up. Your mind reels, the pain in your neck momentarily forgotten as you succumb to the new, all-consuming sensation. Your body responds against your will, arching and writhing beneath him, betraying your desire for more.
As your face heats up, the weight of your family's judgment crushes down on you. You imagine their shocked expressions, the whispers of disapproval, and the harsh words they would utter if they knew you were soiling yourself despite being promised to another. The thought of their reaction fills you with a profound sense of shame, and tears well up in your eyes, blurring your vision. The mix of fear, confusion, and embarrassment is overwhelming, making it hard to breathe.
You tug at Sylus's hair weakly, a desperate attempt to stop him, but your actions are weak and uncoordinated. A shaky moan escapes your lips as you whisper his name, "S-sylus...," your voice trembling with fear and shame.
Sylus, however, is lost in his own world of desire, driven by a thirst that seems to have no end. He tightens his grip on you, his fingers digging into your flesh, as he greedily laps at your cunt. The taste of your blood and the scent of your arousal seem to have intoxicating effects on him, making him relentless in his pursuit of satisfaction.
He is too far gone, too consumed by his own lust to even consider letting you go now. Your pleas and protests fall on deaf ears, drowned out by the sound of his own ragged breathing and the wet, slurping noises he makes as he devours you.
Your body convulses as Sylus's tongue penetrates you, stretching your tight, untouched walls. The sensation is blinding, the pleasure and pain making you nearly scream, "Ah...ahh...ah!" Each thrust of his tongue sends shockwaves through your core, preparing you for what's to come. The intensity of it all is too much, and your body starts to shake violently, your muscles tensing and releasing in a rhythm that matches his movements.
His tongue, long and deft, plunges deeper and deeper inside you, molding your walls, shaping them to his will. You can feel every ridge, every curve of his tongue as it explores your depths, claiming you in a way that leaves you breathless. Your hands are tangled in his hair, gripping his scalp with a force that would draw blood if he were capable of bleeding. Your body responds instinctively, your hips arching to meet his tongue.
Suddenly, the pleasure reaches a peak, a crescendo that explodes through your body. Your orgasm hits you like a tidal wave, your body convulsing and shaking as waves of ecstasy wash over you. Your inner muscles contract rhythmically, gripping Sylus's tongue with an intensity that makes him groan against you. Your back arches off the floor beneath you, your hands clawing at his scalp as you ride out your very first orgasm.
You cry out his name, your voice a broken, desperate plea, "Sylus!" Your body is slick with sweat, your skin flushed and sensitive. Every nerve ending is alive, every sensation amplified. The orgasm seems to go on forever, your body milking every last drop of pleasure from Sylus's tongue. As it finally begins to subside, you are left breathless and trembling, your body sated but your mind reeling from the intensity of it all.
As Sylus finally removes his head from under your dress, his eyes are wild and dilated, the remnants of your pleasure streaked down his chin. "Second best taste after your blood," he grins, his voice low and husky. He gently strokes the tears from your face, his touch surprisingly tender, contrasting with the intensity he had just moments prior.
Before you can even form words, Sylus is already moving, his hands firm and decisive as he throws your legs over his shoulders. He primes you, his movements quick and efficient, positioning you for penetration. The sudden shift in dynamics leaves you shaking, your mind racing to keep up with the rapid pace of events.
Your hand instinctively moves to your neck, where you can still feel the warmth of blood seeping from the wounds. As you rub the area, you are nearly overcome with panic at the sight of the crimson liquid on your fingers. The reality of your situation, the pain, and the fear, all converge in a moment of raw, visceral terror.
"I-im doing to die..."
Sylus notices your distress, his gaze sharpening as he takes in the sight of your bloodied fingers. "Its quite alright, you'll be just fine love."
With a gentle but firm grip, he takes your hand, pulling your fingers into his mouth. The sensation of his tongue, hot and wet, cleaning the blood from your skin, sends a shiver down your spine. You watch, mesmerized, as he sucks each finger clean, his eyes locked onto yours.
Your face heats up, wondering why something so obscene, so primal, can make you feel so lustful. The contradiction of emotions leaves you reeling. Sylus, seemingly satisfied with his task, leans in, his breath hot against your neck as he cleans the wounds, his tongue tracing the edges with a gentle, almost reverent touch. The dual sensations of pain and pleasure leave you trembling, your body betraying you once more as he cleans and soothes you all at once.
Sylus cradles your face in his hands, his touch surprisingly gentle despite the wild, lustful look in his eyes. He coos softly, his voice a low, soothing murmur as he tries to comfort your scared shivers. "Shh, it's alright, beloved." he whispers, his thumbs brushing away the tears that continue to stream down your cheeks.
You find the courage to ask, your voice barely a whisper, "How bad does it hurt?" Sylus hesitates for a moment, his eyes searching yours before he responds, "It's not something you'll remember well. It's swift, and then you'll be with me for eternity." His words are meant to reassure, but they only serve to heighten your anxiety.
You swallow hard, the reality of what you're about to do settling over you like a heavy shroud. Sylus seems to sense your hesitation, his grip tightening as he begins to pin you underneath him. "You've come this far," he murmurs, his voice a low, insistent growl. His eyes seem desperate. "You must press on. You said yourself there's nothing good waiting for you if you leave tonight."
He lines his hardened cock against your virgin pussy, the sensation of his length pressing against you making you cling to him, your nails digging into his back. He seems to want to leave you no time to change your mind. As he begins to push inside, you scream in agony, the pain of your first penetration tearing through you like a knife. Sylus holds you tightly, his arms a steel band around your body, his voice a low, steady promise in your ear. "It's alright, beloved. It will feel better, I promise. Just endure. Just a little more."
"It hurts! It hurts Sylus!"
Your body tenses, every muscle coiled tight as you try to bear the pain. Sylus's movements are slow and deliberate, giving you time to adjust, but the sensation of being stretched, of being filled, is overwhelming. You cry out, your voice a broken, desperate plea, but Sylus only holds you tighter, his lips pressed against your ear as he whispers words of encouragement and promise. "Almost there, love. Almost there."
Sylus's fangs sink into your neck once more, and you open your mouth to scream, but the pain is replaced by a strange, numbing sensation. Your body goes limp, the agony of your previous moments fading into a distant memory. Whatever he's doing with his bite, it's like a switch has been flipped, altering your perception of pain and pleasure.
As the pain diminishes, you become acutely aware of Sylus's erection, growing warmer and stronger inside you. "Mgh...mghn..." you moan, the sound a mix of confusion and burgeoning desire. Sylus takes your hand in his, his fingers intertwining with yours as he pushes deeper inside.
Your vision blurs, then sharpens, the world around you taking on a new, heightened clarity. It feels as if you're leaving your body, floating above the scene, watching as Sylus claims you. Fear grips you, but you're unable to move, unable to do anything but endure, just as Sylus instructed.
You hear his grunt in your ear, a low, primal sound that sends shivers down your spine. Your body tightens around him, the sensation of his cock filling you, stretching you, becoming almost pleasurable. Sylus moans, the sound a mix of satisfaction and growing lust as he sheathes himself further into your tight, virgin walls. With each push, you can feel his body growing stronger, more powerful.
Your own body responds, throbbing around him, the burning pain lulled into a nice, pounding ache. The sensation is unlike anything you've ever experienced. Your mind reels, trying to make sense of the conflicting emotions and sensations, but all you can do is feel, endure, and surrender.
You trust him. So you endure. Sylus's grunts fill your ear as he begins to thrust back and forth, his movements gaining speed and intensity. "It's been centuries since I've felt such warmth," he pants, his voice a low, ragged growl. The wet, sucking sounds of your bodies moving together echo through the empty library, a primal symphony that heightens your senses.
Your face burns brighter, a flush spreading across your skin as you moan, the sound a mix of surprise and burgeoning pleasure. The electric, aching sensation that began in your core starts to tingle and spread. Your skin tightens, a strange, pulling sensation that makes you gasp. Your mouth begins to hurt, a sharp, piercing pain that feels like it's ripping you apart from the inside out. It's as if your soul is being sucked from your body, drawn out by Sylus's relentless, claiming movements.
You hold onto him, your fingers digging into his back, your legs wrapping around his waist as he fully becomes one with you. The fear that once gripped you transforms in an instant, morphing into a soul-sucking pleasure that leaves you breathless and wanting more. Sylus's movements are fierce, his cock driving into your body with a passion and intensity that leaves you reeling. You can feel every inch of him, every ridge, every curve, as he claims you completely, his own strength and power coursing through you.
Your vision suddenly blurs once more, your teeth beginning to shift as Sylus begins to thrust into your aching cunt much faster, you both clinging onto each other so hard that you've began to bruise. It starts as a burn, low and sharp at the base of your spine. It coils through your body like smoke turning to flameâcold, somehow, but searing in its intensity. The bite on your neck throbs violently, each pulse louder than your heartbeat, dragging every thought into a fog of pain and sensation.
Your skin crawls. Your limbs tremble. It feels like your veins are being hollowed out and replaced with something darker,âsomething alive in a way youâve never been before. You try to breathe, but air doesnât feel like enough. Everything feels wrong.Â
The firelight by the hearth glares into your eyes, and you flinch from its warmth. Every sound pierces your ears: the crack of the fire, the settling of stone, even the faint brush of Sylus's breath as he watches you, pounding into your aching cunt with a relentless rhythm.Â
You cry out in agony, your body trembling as pain, pleasure, and agony swirl through you in a chaotic, overwhelming dance.
Sylus's voice reaches your ears, but his words are muffled, indistinct, lost in the maelstrom of sensation that consumes you. You can feel his body tensing, his movements becoming more erratic as he chases his own release. His cock throbs inside you, the sensation of his length filling you, stretching you, becoming almost unbearable.
Suddenly, your second orgasm hits you, your body convulsing and shaking. Your inner muscles contract rhythmically, gripping Sylus's cock with an intensity that makes him groan, his body tensing as he he finally cums. His seed spills into you in hot, pulsating jets, filling your womb, completing you.
And then the world goes dark.
You donât fall unconscious so much as you fall inward. Into yourself. Into Sylus. Itâs like your soul tears in half, and while one piece remains trembling within your skin, the other reaches out and fuses with something vast and unknowableâhis presence, his essence. The sensation is like drowning and ascending at once, like being unmade and remade in the same breath.
And then, you return.
Your eyes burst open, and the world slams into you. Everything is too much. Every color slices into your retinas like sharpened glass, every soundâ a nearby animals heartbeat, the wind outside the cathedral, the faint hiss of fireâroars like a storm in your ears. You suck in air with a ragged gasp, your chest heaving as though it hadnât moved in hours. Your body is on fire.
But itâs not painâitâs hunger. Deep, cavernous, insatiable hunger that spreads from your stomach to your limbs, curling like a thousand claws under your skin. Your mouth achesâno, your fangs ache. You open your lips slightly and can feel the change there, the unnatural weight of them. You raise shaking fingers to your mouth, but stop halfway. Because itâs not your mouth that needs attention.
Itâs the smell.
A thick, metallic sweetness coils through the air. Your eyes dart downward and freeze. Blood. A dark, shining pool of it on the stone floor. Yours. Not yet cold. Still fresh. Still alive in its way. The scent is intoxicatingâricher than wine, more tempting than any delicacy. It fills your lungs, clings to your skin. It calls to you. And your body answers before your mind does.
You lurch forward, hands scraping against the floor, nails digging into the floor. But just before your lips touch it, you reel back, horrified. You slam a hand over your mouth and shake your head violently. No. You canât. You canât. That was your blood. That came from you. The thought nearly breaks you. Sylus is there in an instant, kneeling beside you. His hands wrap around your shoulders, attempting to comfort you. You feel his strength, steady and cold, as his voice comes close to your ear.
âYou need your strength, or youâll die,â he says. âDrink, love. Please.â
You shake in his arms, every muscle pulling in opposite directionsâyour humanity clawing against your rebirth. Your chest rises and falls in erratic waves, and your throat tightens around a sob that doesnât come out. You press your face into his shoulder, seeking something to hold onto that isnât this new, terrifying you. But the scent drags you back. The blood sings. You turn your head. Your eyes lock on the glistening pool, and this time, your body wins.
And so, slowly, trembling, you reach for it.
You lower your mouth to the floor, trembling, and begin to drink. The blood hits your tongue with a sickly, metallic sweetnessâthicker than wine, richer than anything youâve ever tasted. Your throat moves on instinct, desperate for more, and as the warmth slides down your throat, your strength returns like a storm breaking through a drought. The cold in your limbs recedes. The world sharpens. Your heartâdead moments agoâfeels powerful again, even if it doesnât beat.
You drink, and drink, until thereâs nothing left.
The ache in your body begins to quiet, but not all of it. A different kind of hunger still smolders low in your belly. You feel the sticky mess between your legs, the blood from your lost virginity. Sylus's seed mixing with it. You shudder, closing your eyes, trying to push away the heat pulsing between your thighs. It's overwhelming, electric, unfamiliar.
As you turn, your vision sharpens, the world taking on a new, heightened clarity. Sylus is attempting to wipe off his still-stiffened cock, the glistening remnants of your blood coating his length. Your eyes, now pinpricks of intense focus, zero in on the sight, and a primal thirst surges through you. You grab his arm, your grip surprisingly strong, your body shaking with a hunger that is both terrifying and exhilarating.
You lean in, your tongue darting out to lap at the blood on his cock. The taste is metallic, sweet, and strangely intoxicating. Sylus stiffens immediately, his body tensing at the unexpected sensation. But he doesn't stop you; instead, he rubs your back gently, his touch a mix of encouragement and restraint. You suck and lick, your movements desperate and fervent, determined to consume every last drop of the life-giving liquid.
Your body responds to the taste of blood and semen, a low, guttural moan escaping your lips as you take more of him into your mouth. Sylus's breath hitches, his hips twitching slightly as he tries his hardest to stay still, the sensations of your wet tongue overwhelming him. You can feel his cock throbbing, growing harder with each pass of your tongue, the veins pulsing with a life that seems to call to you.
Eventually, you take all of him in your mouth, your lips stretching to accommodate his length. Sylus moans, a deep, guttural sound that resonates through his chest. "Darling..." he groans, his voice strained a bit. But you don't stop, your head bobbing up and down as you suck and lick, your tongue swirling around his shaft.
Sylus's body tenses, his muscles coiling tight as he reaches the edge of his second release. You can feel it, the way his cock throbs, the way his hips jerk, and you redouble your efforts, your suction increasing, your movements more insistent. With a final, shuddering groan, Sylus cums again, his seed spilling into your mouth in hot, pulsating waves.
You swallow, the taste of him filling you, completing you in a way that is both profound and unsettling. You lick your lips, savoring the last drops, a contented sigh escaping your lips. Sylus looks down at you, his eyes wild and intense, certainly satisfied with his beloved's newfound depravity.
Your transformation is complete, your body and soul intertwined with Sylus's in a way that is both permanent and encompassing.
You sit up slowly, panting, your breath ragged and shallow as the last of your humanity slips away. Your mouth is sticky with the taste of your own blood, and with trembling fingers you drag the edge of your cloak across your lips, wiping the red smear from your skin. The chill in your hands becomes suddenly unbearableâyou watch as the warmth drains from your fingers, your skin paling. Your fingertips are cold, but your core burns.
"Feel better, my love?" Sylus murmurs, his voice low and velvet-smooth. He sits nearby, adjusting his clothes, fastening the buttons of his pants with calm precision before he steps toward you again.
You nod, though your body aches in unfamiliar places. You wince slightly, shifting forward, moving closer to him. With practiced instinct, you climb into his lap and straddle him, your legs folding around his waist as if drawn there by gravity. His arms envelop you at once, secure and unyielding, the only solid thing in a world that now feels strange and unmoored.
You settle against his chest, your face against the curve of his neck. Thereâs no heartbeat beneath his skinâbut you can feel something there. Echoing. Your own dead heart seems to mirror his in this strange, supernatural stillness. Itâs not life, but it is connection. One that feels impossible to undo.
You breathe in, slow and shaky. Everything smells different now. Sharper. Richer. His scent, his skinâit drowns you in comfort. âI love you,â you whisper, your voice barely audible, but he hears you as if you screamed it. "Thank you."
You lift your face to look up at him, your eyes locking onto his. His crimson gaze softens, glowing with warmth despite the cold that clings to him. You wonder if yours now match hisâthose beautiful, red, inhuman eyes. A slow smile spreads across his lips.
âSo do I. I have for quite awhile,â he replies. You embrace him, and you two collapse upon each other in front of the stoked out fire.
Weeks pass, and the kingdoms ripple with rumor, unrest, and tangled speculation. What began as whispers has grown into full-blown legend.
The Princess of Carpathia has vanishedâdisappeared without a trace. No guards saw her leave, no servants saw her fall ill, and no clues were left behind. Market stalls buzz with stories, travelers carry embellished tales from region to region. In some, she is a runaway bride escaping a cursed union. One popular belief is that she faked her own death to be free. Another claims she was assassinated by political rivals. And through it all, no ransom. Just absence.
Back in the castle, her chambers remain untouched, a mausoleum of silk and perfume. Arnette, her loyal servant, sits at the edge of the bed each morning, tears streaking down her cheeks as she clutches an old embroidered shawl the princess used to wear. To her, itâs not a mysteryâitâs a mourning. She lights candles at dawn and dusk, whispering prayers meant only for gods who have long since stopped listening. Her heart breaks with each passing day, not just from the loss, but from the knowledge that no one else grieves like she does.
The twin princes, loud and unruly, seem unaffected. They fill the palace with their shrieks and squabbles, their young minds too distracted by tutors and wooden swords to notice the missing space at the table. Their sisterâs name is mentioned less and less, buried beneath their noise and the growing silence from the throne.
The Queen, once composed and exacting, unravels in quiet waves. Her cries echo softly through the halls at night. Servants speak in hushed tones of bottles of tonic found hidden in her quarters, and the growing desperation in her eyes. Without her daughter, she holds no voice in the court. She is a pawn without a piece to play. And now, pressure mounts for her to bear another childâanother daughterâto fill the void before she is too old. She returns to herbs and old wivesâ remedies, enduring rituals and consultations from midwives with cold hands and empty eyes. Her grief isnât for her daughter but rather for her diminished worth.
The King, however, does not grieve. He rages. With the princess gone, so too is his one true bargaining chip. The crown prince of a neighboring kingdom had just inherited his fatherâs throne, and an alliance through marriage was nearly secured. Without the girl, the deal crumbles, and Carpathiaâs future trembles with instability. The King lashes out, striking down messengers and servants alike with his tongueâand occasionally worse. He demands scouts, sends troops into nearby villages, interrogates everyone from traveling merchants to stable boys. His fury is a wildfire, and no one is safe from its heat.
Tension festers. Whispers of rebellion grow. The court tiptoes around the edges of a monarchy coming undone. And while the world speculates and spirals, far beyond its reach, two cold figures walk hand in hand beneath a moonless sky. Cloaked in shadows, they travel through forests and over glens, far from politics and palaces. The girl once known as the princess no longer flinches at the sound of her old name. Her red eyes scan the path ahead with quiet certainty. Her skin is dead, her soul reformed, her heart no longer hers alone.
Beside her, Sylus walks in step, his expression unreadable save for the quiet contentment in the curve of his mouth when she leans into him. Their hands stay lockedâintertwined with the promise of something indivisible. Above them, a black crow glides in slow circles, shadowing them like a silent sentinel. A white dove flutters just beneath it, wings catching the glint of starlight. Two creatures never meant to fly together, now bound by the same wind.
They do not look back. They do not speak of what they left behind. That world, with its broken crowns and cold stone floors, is lost to them now. But ahead, there is still the night. Still the freedom of eternity. Still the possibility of building something new.
And so they walk forward, side by side, hand in hand, into a world that has not yet dreamed them into legend.
HAN INTRO: DO IT
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Stray Kids "Do It" MV đŞś
HAN đ¤ DO IT (2025)

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AN: I'm a JJAM hater but, when I saw these clips of HyunSung...I couldn't help myself. I have a million other fics I'm working on but, HyunSung will always take priority lol. Also, I do want to make more banners for my fics but, I couldn't find many pictures of the two of them with (fake) blood smeared on their faces so, we're going to have to settle for the classic three photos for this one. Can't believe it's taken me this long to post something HyunSung focused.
Synopsis: The two strange men that you've developed a bit of an...odd relationship with decide to pay you another visit. They're especially famished tonight.
General tags and warnings: Hwang Hyunjin x Han Jisung x Fem! Reader, Hyunjin and Jisung are vampires, lots of blood and biting involved, they initially enter Reader's home without her consent, acquaintances to potential lovers lol?, they're all in love/infatuated with each other your honour and not much plot.
Smut tags and warnings: dubcon if you squint since Reader does all of this after HyunSung drink a substantial amount of her blood and there's one joke about compulsion but, it's not brought up after that and there's no actual compelling that happens, lots of blood and kissing with blood, lots of biting, oral sex (f. receiving), fingering (f. receiving), unintentional temperature play because they're undead, breast and nipple play (f. receiving), HyunSung being able to smell Reader's arousal, pussy sniffing once (f. receiving), dirty talk, Reader getting teary eyed, mxm but it's only kissing in this but, it's implied HyunSung have done more, petnames, manhandling (they have super strength because, y'know, vampires), piv sex without a condom, dirty talk, clawing, creampies, lots of cum, cumplay of sorts, Reader realises in real time she might have a creampie kink, unrealistic sex because they're vampires lol, marking, bruising, brief mentions of masturbation and implied aftercare.
Word count: 5.8k.
I will block you if you are a minor and/or have no easily visible indication of your age on your blog if you interact with me in any way.
The first thing you register is your heart thundering in your ribcage the moment you jolt out of your sleep. Bringing your shaky hand to your chest, you're not sure what startled you awake: the storm raging outside your bedroom window or whatever nightmare you were experiencing that's already rapidly fading from your memory. Your mind is having difficulty catching up to the anxiety still fresh in your veins. Remnants of sleep making everything hazy and disorientated at the edges.Â
âBad dream?âÂ
You nearly jump out of your skin when you finally notice the two figures who have seemingly made themselves at home on your windowsill. You nearly scream out of reflex but, your brain boots up in time to inform you that your home isn't being invaded and the two men lounging in your bedroom are not strangers. Well, they are but, not really. Half-strangers? Acquaintances? You're not sure what you'd categorise your relationship as but, it's somewhere between more than acquaintances but, definitely less than friends.Â
âWhat are you two doing here?â You hiss, struggling to make them out in your dark room with the moon and city lights being of little help. Shooting them a deeply unamused glare while you attempt to calm your racing heart and lessen the anxiety still circulating in your system.Â
âWhat, we can't pay our favourite girl a visit?â asks the shorter man. It may be dark but, you can see Jisung's grin clear as day. You decidedly ignore the implications of his phrasing of âfavourite girlâ because you're already dealing with far too much right now and you doubt it's even 4 a.m.Â
âI doubt you're here for just a visit,â you mumble under your breath, reaching for the water bottle you keep on your nightstand. Taking a generous sip that significantly helps you feel better and less like a mess of stress and dehydration.Â
âAre you complaining? That'd be a first,â the taller man chimes in, amusement colouring his voice and heating your blood in a way you're not sure you'll ever be ready to think too much about. The awful part is, he's not wrong. Whatever thisâŚarrangement the three of you have has gone on without any hitches for months now. You're not sure why you let them slip into your apartment and drink from you. In the few instances that you've really sat with yourself and attempted to find out why, nothing that feels valid has come up. Pity? Who pities vampires of all people? A sense of duty? What duty should you feel to strangers? A gesture of kindness? You'd like to think you're a decent person but, this is far beyond the scope of simple generosity.Â
So, what is it?Â
âI'm complaining because you two snuck into my room while I was asleep and scared the shit out of me. Usually you do this while I'm, you know, awake and with some kind of head's up,â you respond, setting your bottle back down and looking at the two men. Well, they're far beyond ordinary men but, the word âvampireâ still feels so foreign on your tongue and even in your thoughts. The two of them have always seemed deeply connected to each other from the moment they approached you that fateful Friday night. Moving towards you like a well-oiled machine, their steps in time with one another.Â
âSorry,â at least Hyunjin has the decency to sound half-sincere but, the hunger in his eyes betrays him, âWe're just starving and it's been a month,â is the explanation he offers as though you three haven't been doing this for months now. What an absurd turn your life has taken. If you ever found the courage to tell Minho and Seungmin about this, you're certain your best friends would think you'd watched the Twilight movies one too many times and have certifiably lost your mind. They wouldn't be entirely wrong either.Â
Shoving your heavy blanket to the side, you expose your body for them to ogle thoroughly. You don't have to look up at them to know they're burning holes into you right now. The excitement from them is palpable. It rolls off of them in waves. You still haven't quite managed to not feel on edge after all this time but, it's not fear or dread that churns in the pit of your stomach.Â
âWell, I'm ready. Have it,â is all you say, keeping your tone as neutral as possible. You're sure the two of them would never harm you but, you've made it a habit to keep theseâŚsessions as clinical as possible. Holding them at a safe distance. Which, frankly, sounds insane since they regularly invade your personal space to drink your blood. Maybe you have lost it and this is all a months long hallucination.Â
Jisung startles you out of your thoughts by placing a cool hand on your thigh. Goosebumps erupt on your skin instantaneously and you resist the impulse to shudder when his molten eyes find yours, âI'm just gonna move you a little. Make both of us a little more comfortable,â and just like that you find yourself tugged to the edge of your bed as though you were the same weight as a feather. His display of strength prompts you to claw at your sheets briefly. The first time he did this, you thought it was all a ploy to get you into bed but, true to his word, he really was only interested in your blood. You tried not to let your disappointment show at the time. Now, as his fingers ghost over your thighs and he kneels between them, dragging his nose along your inner thigh, it's still so incredibly hard not to let your thoughts wander.Â
Thankfully, you've grown accustomed to the pain so, you only flinch minimally when he sinks his fangs into your skin. The groan that drags itself out of the depths of his chest goes decidedly ignored by you. Hyunjin slinks his way behind you, long fingers gently tilting your head to the side for easier access. His approach is what you'd been expecting the first time. The classic vampire. In the glimpses you've gotten of the two, Hyunjin does seem like more of the idea of a vampire you've been fed since you were eleven. His hair tickles the parts of your skin it touches, providing some reprieve from the pinch his bite brings.Â
You've always wondered why they do this together. Why not have their own individual moment with you? To feed from you? Maybe this just helps them save time. Maybe it's some weird vampire bylaw that you're too human to understand. It's such an odd sensation feeling your blood leave your body this way. Even now, it's dizzying and fogs up your brain. It doesn't help that they seem especially hungry tonight so, they're drinking much faster than you've grown used to. It's not unpleasant, though. JustâŚdifferent. Still a touch unfamiliar.Â
Surprisingly, Jisung is the first one to stop. He isn't exactly the best at showing restraint. The handful of times Hyunjin has had to butt in by either forcibly telling him to stop or dragging him by his hair off of you speak for themselves. So, you're left a little confused when he unlatches himself from your thigh of his own freewill and looks up at you. Something horrible, animalistic and wanton simmers in the pit of your stomach when you notice the fresh blood generously smeared across his lips and parts of his cheeks. Your blood is all over his handsome face while he's staring at you from between your thighs. It was easier before. When he'd just drink your blood, heal you with his saliva and disappear with Hyunjin into the night. Having him here, looking like this is far more than you can take. Â
âI can smell you, you know,â he says, a lazy drawl in his voice and you notice the drop in octave immediately. His eyes that are usually alight with hunger look different. They burn with something else entirely. A different kind of hunger that makes your heart leap into your throat and your pussy pulse.Â
âWh-What?â comes your intelligent reply, âSmell me?â you'd like to think you're trying your best with the loop you've been thrown for.Â
Hyunjin chooses then to stop feeding off of you. This time, you fail spectacularly at shoving down the shudder that runs down your spine when his cool breath hits the shell of the ear. The smell of your blood drifting to your nostrils, invading your senses, âHe means he can smell how aroused you are,â he whispers into your ear as if Jisung can't hear him perfectly well from where he's kneeling.Â
His words shatter your brain for a few seconds. All you can do is blink while your brain attempts to make sense of what they've both said. The lack of blood isn't helping. True to fiction, you know their smelling abilities are far beyond that of any human. Sparse conversation over the time you've been doing this has clued you in enough but, it didn't occur to you that that particular ability could be used beyond smelling blood.Â
âWe don't want to scare you,â Hyunjin mutters gently, large hands ghosting over your waist but, not providing you with the relief of actually touching you. You wonder, briefly, whether compulsion is one of their powers too because the lull in his voice causes your lids to droop and your stomach to twist in a way that isn't wholly unpleasant. âIt's justâ weâ youâ you're something else,â he pauses for a second and you're not sure if it's to collect himself or something else entirely, âWe haven't felt this way about someone in decades.â The pure yearning in his tone throws you completely. Your eyes widening as you try and process everything he's said while your blood trickles out of you.Â
âWe?â you ask in only what can be described as a combination of awe and confusion, glancing at the man between your thighs whose scorching gaze hasn't left you and Hyunjin for a second. Your blood is still all over his face.Â
âYes,â Jisung answers immediately and you've never heard one word carry so much weight, âWhy do you think we only come to you? Why we only drink from you?âÂ
You thought the whole them being vampires and drinking from you thing was a lot but, this is a whole different league. Hyunjin allows himself to gently lay his hand on you in what you can only assume is a gesture meant to ease your nerves but, it does the complete opposite. âI didn't know you two only fed off of me,â you whisper, trying your best to gather your bearings. Fiddling with your sheets and avoiding looking at either of them in the hopes that you don't say or do something incredibly stupid. Well, more stupid.Â
âI'mâ I need to know what you two want from you,â you whisper, afraid that if you speak any louder that you'll shatter the delicate bubble the three of you are in.Â
âWe just want you,â Jisung answers without a second thought and you wonder just how many times the two of them have spoken about this. âIn whatever way you'll let us have you,â Hyunjin adds just as quickly but, no less passionately. His grip on you tightening but, his loosens it before you can even blink.Â
You blink harshly. Stars dancing behind your eyelids. You really are about to do something very, very dumb, aren't you?Â
âI don't know what I want from this. From you two but, IâI um think I want to see where this goes. So, oâokay,â you whisper, still not looking at either of them. Your heart races when Hyunjin carefully grasps your face so, you have no choice but, to look at him. The hunger and lust you somewhat expected to be present in his eyes are there but, there's a quiet softness in them too that's making it really difficult for you to breathe, âWe'll take it slow, okay?â He assures you, leaning down and giving you ample time to tell him no or push him away but, you don't. Because you want this. You want him. You want Jisung. You want them.Â
Surprising perhaps everyone in the room, you close the distance between the two of you. You kiss him clumsily and are a little taken aback to taste your blood on his lips but, it's not off-putting. In fact, you might even like it a little. Hyunjin doesn't give you much time to ponder on that thought because he's kissing you back with so much enthusiasm, large hands making themselves at home on your waist, palming every inch of you he can. You gasp into his mouth when you feel Jisung licking at his bite marks, closing them up. Hyunjin's tongue snakes its way into your mouth just as Jisung litters your inner thigh with sticky, bloodied kisses.Â
âIs it okay if I taste you?â He asks and you're not sure you could answer him properly even without Hyunjin's seeming determination not to let your mouth free. Whether it's the lack of oxygen and blood going to your brain, you feel just the slightest bit delirious and with delirium apparently comes confidence. Your hand finds the hem of your sleeping gown easily and you tug it up your thighs haphazardly, exposing as much of your slick folds to him as you can and hoping he takes the very obvious green light.Â
Fortunately for both of you, Jisung is not an idiot and he snatches the invitation as readily as you offer it. Hyunjin let's you have a moment to breathe just as Jisung shoves himself impossibly close to you, acting as though there's no other place he'd rather be than with his head between your thighs and his hands burning imprints into them. âYou smell so good,â Hyunjin groans behind you, pressing bloody kisses into your neck and lapping up the blood that's trickled out of you and dried on your skin. Large hands softly kneading your tits over your gown, drinking in every reaction you offer to both of them.Â
âShe smells even better here,â Jisung comments before pressing his nose into your pussy and inhaling deeply. Embarrassment and desire heat your face and make your walls clench in equal parts. âJiâJisung,â you hiss but, it sounds more like a whimper than anything else. He doesn't respond but, you feel him smirk against you. Watching you like a hawk as he takes his first taste of you, his tongue dragging itself from your entrance to your clit. His firm grasp keeps you from bucking your hips into his face. âI bet you taste wonderful, sweetheart,â Hyunjin drawls against your skin, dragging his fangs along your neck while he tugs your gown down to let your tits bounce free. He laughs breathlessly into your neck when Jisung hums in conformation. âMaybe I'll get to taste you later too,â he whispers and you don't have much time to dwell on the thought because Jisung starts lapping at your clit with unabashed enthusiasm.Â
Hyunjin keeps you thoroughly in his grasp when your body attempts to jolt from the flurry of sensations its hit with. You couldn't stop the drawn out moans and curses that fall from your lips even if you wanted to. Your eyes flutter and wetness further smears Jisung's face with every kiss and lick. Hyunjin, for his part, has grown thoroughly infatuated with your tits. Kneading them in his massive hands and groaning into your skin every time he toys with your nipples to gauge what you like the best. You think he nearly bites you again when he discovers a drag of his thumbs is all it takes for you to mewl in his hold and seek out his mouth. He readily kisses you. Pouring what you can only imagine is months worth of frustration and desire into this kiss. You can practically taste it. Well, that and your blood.Â
He steadies you when Jisung presses two fingers against your dripping entrance. You can feel the way he watches you slowly swallow them. They slip in easily given how beyond wet you are and the strained âfuckâ that he whispers makes you grip him tighter. They feelâŚodd. Not uncomfortable or unwelcome but, just different from what you're used to. Their coolness is foreign but, Jisung uses that to his advantage given how scorching your walls are. âFuck,â he moans against your pussy, giving your clit a second to breathe, âHow is everything about you so good? You taste good, you feel even better,â he mutters, a bit fucked out before knocking the wind out of you by sucking on you while dragging his cold fingers along your sensitive walls.Â
âHyun-Hyunjin,â you cry into his mouth, grasping his forearm forâŚwhat? You don't know but it helps. âI've got you, my angel,â he replies without a second thought, nipping at your bottom lip while his hands and Jisung's mouth and fingers force you closer to an edge you hadn't even realised you were approaching.Â
When did your other hand find its way into Jisung's hair?Â
The thought evaporates from your mind the moment Jisung's fingers find the spot inside of that causes your vision to dance and your thighs to clamp around his head. Not that he minds even the slightest bit. He seems more determined with etching the taste of your pussy into his taste buds and bringing you to the brink of insanity with his fingers. Hyunjin greedily swallows all of the noises the two of them pluck from you. Only stopping when you have to separate for air, not that his mouth leaves you. Immediately attaching itself to every part of your shoulder he can reach. Heavy eyes watching the way your tits fill his hands and the way your back bows when he pinches your nipples a touch too harshly.Â
âHyunâJiâI'm soâI thinkââ your tongue feels like it weighs a million kilograms all of a sudden and, it's really, really hard to speak or think beyond the two men touching and tasting you. âIt's okay, beloved,â Hyunjin hushes against your neck, âYou want to let go for us, don't you?â you're not sure what sounds more tempting: his suggestion or his voice. âYou want to cum for us, right?â He continues, giving your tits an especially harsh squeeze and rutting his hard cock against your lower back, âCum all over Sungieâs face while I play with your beautiful tits, huh?âÂ
Something within you snaps. Whether it's your sanity or the proverbial knot in the pit of your stomach, you're not sure but, you become undone within an instant. You don't think you've ever cum this hard in your life. Everything sounds distant and feels hazy but, you do feel Hyunjin and Jisung keeping you from totally crumpling onto your bed. Vaguely, you make out one of them saying âprettyâ and what you assume is another one of them saying âso hot.â You're not sure how long it takes for you to come back to yourself but, eventually, you do. Blinking open bleary eyes to find Jisung staring at you with a mess of your wetness and blood all over the lower half of his face. It's easily the hottest image you've ever seen in your life and you hope you never forget it.Â
âYou okay?â Hyunjin asks behind you, large hands having drifted from your tits to soothing run along your waist while you attempt to steady your breathing and stop your thighs from shaking. âYe-Yeah,â you reply, cringing a little at the hoarseness in your voice, âThat was just um a lot and I need aâa second but, I'm good,â you finish, giving them a weak smile that you hope conveys that you are really okay despite the way your thighs quiver.Â
âThank fuck. I was worried we might have gone too far,â Jisung pipes up for the first time in what feels like ages. The depth of his voice makes your stomach drop and you bite back a whimper at the way your sensitive pussy reacts to him. Could your body give you a second? You just came, Jesus Christ.Â
âCome here.âÂ
The words shake you out of your thoughts and you think he's talking to you but, before you can blink he's on his feet and dragging Hyunjin into a mess of spit and tongue by his hair. All you can do is watch the two of them with your mouth parted and your fingers attempting to find leverage in your sheets. You were so wrong. This is easily the hottest image you've ever seen in your fucking life. Your clit throbs and walls clench when Jisung pulls away and pins you down with a look that's far too knowing and smug for your liking. âWhat? Don't look at me like that,â he has the nerve to sound amused while you're sitting here already wound up. Again. âI just wanted Jinnie to have a taste of your sweet pussy, that's all,â he licks his upper lip for good measure and you're pretty sure you've never wanted to throttle someone more than right now.
âHe wasn't wrong,â Hyunjin groans into your ear, his hands gripping your hips fiercely, pressing you against him and making you feel the outline of his cock, âYou tasteâŚdivine,â the reverence in his voice makes goosebumps arise on your skin and you honestly think you might die if you don't have the two of them right now.Â
âPlease, please I wantâI need to feel both of you. It hurts. I feel so empty and I'm so wetââ
Hyunjin and Jisung seemingly have no reservations about taking the next step in whatever the three of you have because you're blinking up at them within a flash, both of their eyes flashing with intent and want so visceral that your heart leaps in your chest. Hyunjin is the first to move. Positioning himself between your thighs and descending on your mouth immediately. âYou have no idea how long we've been waiting for this,â he mutters before pulling away from you. You're about to complain but, he discards your gown faster than you can process. Leaving you totally exposed to the two of you.
âYou're so beautiful,â Jisung whispers from somewhere above you and, your eyes catch his as he lounges against your headboard. He shoots you a lazy smile and it does terrible things to your heart. Before you can dwell too much about why he's sitting there you hear rustling and focus your attention back on Hyunjin.Â
You're thoroughly unprepared for the sight of a shirtless Hyunjin impatiently tugging his pants and boxers down his slender hips. Seeing him without a shirt is earth shattering in its own right but, watching the way his hand wraps around his cock makes your bedroom spin a little. He has the audacity to shoot you a little grin like his cock isn't inches away from your weeping entrance and you don't hear Jisung's own staggered breathing behind you. His eyes never leave your face. Even as he shuffles closer to you. Even when his hands gently rest against your thighs. Even when his cock rests on your pussy.Â
âIs this okay?â He whispers, dragging his cock along your slit and your body jolts totally without your consent when his tip brushes against your clit. âAh, yes. Yes. Hyunjin please justââ you words are halted by a gasp when he slowly starts to push into you. You shouldn't be shocked at this point but, he's colder than you expect. And longer. And thicker. You can barely make out his face in the haze you're in and all you can do is let your mouth hang open when he finally bottoms out. His grip on your thighs tightens and his hand finds a home in the hollow of your throat while he gives you a bit to adjust to stretch.Â
Without much thought, your hands find his broad back and he must read that as some sort of sign because he's pulling out before snapping back inside of you after that. The air is punched out of your lungs but, he continues. Gradually finding a pace that has your toes curling and your nails digging into the cool skin of his back. âYou can claw at me all you want,â he whispers in your ear. Chuckling at the way your pussy tightens around him and your fingers follow his suggestion without your prompting. âI'm not one of those mortals,â he continues, âI can take it.âÂ
And so you do. Basking in the freedom of letting him know just how much you're enjoying being fucked on his cock and his hands more than likely leaving your thighs bruised. The thought of covered in their marks makes your pussy clench and you can't help but, wish they were both touching you right now.Â
Hyunjin kisses down your neck until he reaches one of your tits. Covering them in kisses and licks. Grazing them with his fangs and delighting in the way you shudder underneath him. You're a woman on a mission, though. Turning your head until you find Jisung's hooded eyes and his hand around his cock. The sight makes your lips part and even more of your wetness gush onto Hyunjin's cock.Â
âJiâJisung,â you whine trying your best to look at his handsome face but, it's incredibly challenging when his pretty cock is right there. âWant you too ah,â you manage to gasp out just as Hyunjin sinks his fangs into your tit, sipping on your blood while his pace increases and the obscene sounds of him fucking you echo through your bedroom. Jisung doesn't respond at first. Perhaps needing a second. Then, before you can blink, he's leaning down and devouring you whole with his mouth. Swallowing all of your mewls and whimpers and moans as though he needs them to live.Â
âYou're killing me here, baby,â he groans against your lips when he finally remembers you need air, âI want nothing more than to fuck you with Jinnie but, we don't know if you'll be able to take it. Maybe next time, okay?â He soothes, toying with your hair and giving you a smile that's filled with promise. You want to tell him you can. You can more than take both of them right now but, you can barely think coherently let alone speak so, all you do is pout and nod in resignation. âDon't give me that look,â he laughs, kissing you once again, âI'll make love to you as soon as Jinnie is done.âÂ
You may not be experiencing them at the same time but, you can live with them bothâŚmaking love to you as Jisung put it. He leaves you with one more kiss, letting you focus on the other vampire currently, painstakingly slowly drinking from your tit while he snaps his hips into you. You never thought you'd want them to drink from you so badly but, watching the way Hyunjin revels in your taste, you can't help the fire it fans in the very core of your being.Â
âHyunjin,â you moan and that's all it takes for him to lick his way into your mouth and fold you further into your mattress. You're certain you'll feel the ache in your thighs tomorrow but, you couldn't care less. âYou're gonna make me cum,â he moans into your mouth, snapping his hips faster and faster into you while hiz grip on you remains steadfast, âGonna make me fill up this gorgeous, pretty, tight, hot pussy,â he continues, and you feel him throb inside you and you don't think you've ever wanted someone to cum inside you so intensely.Â
âI fuck want it,â you respond, your fingers finding their way into his hair, âWant you to cum inside me, HyuâJinnie.â And just like that he slams his mouth into yours and holds you in place while he fills you with his cum as promised. It's cold but, not awful. Outside of how hot he sounds whimpering into your mouth, you're struck by the fact that he's still hard and his cum seems unending. Already starting to trickle out of you while he's still cumming. The realisation causes you to cling to him tighter and your walls to clench around him, milking him for as much as he'll give you. Fuck.Â
Eventually, it does stop and he kisses you much gentler now. Even pressing playful kisses along your cheeks and your nose. âYou're so pretty,â he sighs dreamily like you hung the moon in the sky just for them. He gives you one last kiss before leaning back and pulling out of you. You knew he was still hard but, seeing it with your own two eyes is a whole different matter. All you can do is blink in astonishment and watch it bob, covered in a mixture of your combined fluids. âIt's a vampire perk,â is his explanation and you can tell he and Jisung are trying really hard not to laugh at your shock.Â
âIt's definitely one of the fun parts,â Jisung adds while tugging off his shirt. You're not sure where or when his pants disappeared but, you're not complaining. âSo can you guys like justâŚcum and stay hard all time?â You ask looking between the two for some sort of sense to be found in all of this. âNot all the time,â Hyunjin replies, making himself at home at the foot of your bed. It's a little hard to focus on what he's saying when he's naked and posed like a Greek god but, you persevere, âBut vampires have significantly better stamina than humans. It takes a lot to really wear us out,â he finishes, gesturing vaguely to his still very hard cock for emphasis.Â
Before you can think to ask how they get hard to begin with since you don't think they have blood and what exactly their cum consists of, Jisung invades your personal space. His kisses are needy and desperate. His hands practically shake from how much he wants you and, if you're being honest, your ego is going to be through the roof after tonight. âWaited for this for so long,â he mutters into your mouth, positioning himself between your stained thighs. The mixture of Hyunjin's cum and your own wetness provide Jisung with more than enough to sink into you with ease. He's not as big as Hyunjin but, your eyes flutter and toes curl all the same.Â
âFuck, you're so perfect,â he grits out into the hollow of your throat before starting to move. Jisung seems to read you pretty well because his pace isn't slow or gentle and, for that, you're grateful. He fucks you thoroughly, making sure you feel every part of him while his hands explore every expanse of your body they can. Much like Hyunjin, he's especially into your tits. Savoring every gasp and arch of your back he can coax out of you. A garbled mess of his name and a curse fall from your lips when he sinks his fangs into your other breast. Unlike Hyunjin, Jisung doesn't drink slowly. He's greedy. Bloodthirsty. Blood smearing across his mouth while his pace picks up considerably.Â
Tears spring to the corner of your eyes when he drags his thumb along your swollen clit. His grasp on your hip keeps you firmly in place. Forcing you to feel every sensation and, it hits you all at once just how close you've been.Â
âJiâ oh my godâ Jisung,â you cry out, gripping your sheets out of the sheer need to just ground yourself with something. Jisung watches you like a hawk the entire time. Lidded eyes only drifting between your thighs from time to time to watch the way he fucks Hyunjin's cum out of you but, he's more focused on your face. He has to see you when you finally shatter. He has to.Â
It's a particular harsh circle he draws with his thumb that finally pushes you over the edge. Thankfully, he lets you catch your breath. Slowing down his pace considerably and slowly fucking you through your climax while he holds your hips. If you weren't on a totally different planet, you'd notice his attempt at soothing you with the circles he rubs into your skin. Still, despite his best efforts to let you come back to yourself, he's a goner the second you blink those teary eyes open and look straight at him.Â
A weak whimper is all you can muster when you feel him cum. It honestly doesn't make any sense how hot he is. How hot they both are. You'd gladly give into the unconsciousness you can feel creeping up on you any other time but, right now you're too enamored with watching the way his inky hair sticks to his face and the way his mouth hangs open while he fills you to the point of leakage. Yeah, you've definitely never felt this full before and you're wondering whether the way your pussy flutters at the knowledge is something you even have the energy to unpack tonight.Â
He gives you one last kiss before pulling out of you. You're sure you look like a total wreck right now and you can only imagine the state your sheets are in. However, sleep is calling your name and you can already feel yourself starting to drift off.Â
âWe know you're probably tired but, we need to clean you up, beloved,â Hyunjin says, startling you awake. The apologetic look he gives you is sweet but, you're so exhausted. You doubt you could move even if you wanted to.Â
âBut âm tired,â you mutter, rolling onto your side.Â
âWe know, baby but, we gotta clean you up and change your sheets,â Jisung chimes in, sounding as apologetic as Hyunjin looks. Before you can argue further, you find yourself in what you quickly realise are Hyunjin's arms. Blinking up at the man while he carries you like you weigh nothing in the direction of your bathroom.Â
How does he still manage to look so pretty?Â
âI'll help you clean up while Ji changes your sheets,â he says with a smile and you try your hardest to ignore the gymnastics routine your heart is doing. Jisung shoots you an equally as endearing smile over Hyunjin's shoulder before focusing his attention back on trying to clean up the travesty that is your bed at the moment. God, his ass is so cute.Â
Allowing yourself to relax in Hyunjin's arms, maybe whatever your new normal is won't be so bad after all.
Reblogs are greatly appreciated.
Do not repost, edit, copy and/or translate my work. I do not give you my permission to do so, nor will you ever receive it.
Stray Kids Masterlist | Ko-Fi
MASTERLIST
â§Â°. âŕźşâžđ¤ŕźťâ. °â§
note: welcome to my masterlist! here you can find everything i have written and posted! i will def try to keep this updated often! i will also attempt a tag system so if something is pure smut or smut is involved, there will be some kind of indicator. enjoy <3 - elle
STRAY KIDS
đŠâĄđŞ bang chan ;;
casual ~ PT 1 , PT 2 ; finished
đŠâĄđŞ seo changbin ;;
đŠâĄđŞ lee felix ;;
đŠâĄđŞ lee minho ;;
đŠâĄđŞ han jisung ;;
đŠâĄđŞ kim seungmin ;;
đŠâĄđŞ hwang hyunjin ;;
đŠâĄđŞ yang jeongin ;;
ELLE'S SSS (spotify shuffle scenarios)
casual - chappell roan
WRITING THROUGH THE ERAS
taylor inspired skz fics <3 songs that feel like it would be inappropriate to write a skz inspo fic for wonât be done, but will be listed with a youtube link to the song for listening!
đŠâĄđŞ Taylor Swift
đŠâĄđŞ Fearless (TV)
đŠâĄđŞ Speak Now (TV)
đŠâĄđŞ Red (TV)
đŠâĄđŞ 1989 (TV)
đŠâĄđŞ reputation
đŠâĄđŞ Lover
đŠâĄđŞ folklore
đŠâĄđŞ evermore
đŠâĄđŞ Midnights
đŠâĄđŞ The Tortured Poets Department
đŠâĄđŞ The Life of a Showgirl
RULES !!!
in depth rules for my blog!! please follow and respect the following rules. if you are caught breaking any, this will result in a block from me. you were warned! this may also be updated in the future. - elle <3
MDNI - not all of my works are NSFW, but they still deal with heavier topics.
i will do my best to check blogs that follow me and things. if you do NOT have an age indicator on your page (birth year, or your age. having 18+ does NOT count), you will be blocked. this is a pretty simple boundary i am asking for though methinks <3
2. all of my works are MINE.
do NOT republish them on other social medias/websites. my works are also NOT to be used for any kind of AI usage. this includes, but not limited to: chat bots, systems, etc. my works are FICTIONAL! however, some may be based on MY PERSONAL feelings/experiences. i am in no way affiliated with the people or characters i write about on here. i am simply practicing my abilities as a writer for an audience with the things i enjoy, even if i am using this as an emotional outlet for myself too.
3. THINGS I WILL NOT WRITE! (so don't ask <3)
1. extreme kinks (this includes your weird illegal ones too!) - ageplay, gunplay, incest, etc. 2. as of right now (and for the foreseeable future) - no ship content. this is simply because i don't know if i can write ship content well/feel like people have ideas what certain ships are supposed to be like, and i do not feel like opening that can of worms lol. 3. i will not write about any major/severe mental and physical health issues that i do not currently deal with myself. unless i have done the proper research for it/have permission from a family member or friend to write about their experience, it will not be written about. this includes things like: BPD, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, POTS, PANDAS, EDS, etc. people deserve to be heard and seen in all forms of media, but they should be represented CORRECTLY! <3 4. no major character death. this means no reader death and no death to the other half of the pairing being written about. 5. nothing with major drug usage. this includes any drug that isn't alcohol or weed. however, i have only alcohol experience so if weed is written about, it will probably be mentions or in passing. this list is subject to change at any moment!
4. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
not all of my works are will be sunshine and rainbows! there will be mentions of heavy topics sometimes, so read the tags/warnings! some works may contain NSFW content. it may not be the best NSFW content, but i am working on my skills <3 i am NOT responsible for any serous triggers or feelings! you were warned about the risks and to read the tags! of course i want you to feel the vibes, but not to the point of damaging your mental health. this is what the warnings/tags are for. your mental health matters <3
5. about my asks!
1. you are welcome to share any soft/hard thoughts and hcs! 2. i am not taking requests. if i ever open that up as an option, i will post about it. 3. if you're being an ass in my asks, you will go unanswered. 4. feel free to genuinely ask me anything! it can be about skz, my writings, my future blog plans, etc! note: i DO hold the right to not answer you! if i have not answered you, then that's your answer.
6. please enjoy!
i am here for fun, practice, feedback, discussion, and giggles <3 i hope you all enjoy my art <3
casual (pt. 2) â bang chan
"i try to be the chill girl but honestly i'm not..." - chappell roan
PART 1
a/n: RAAAAAAAAAAAAA i was NOT expecting all of the support on casual omg,, thank you all so much for the love on it!! as i had said in my first post, this was literally a vent piece for me for a weird blurry spot i was in not too long ago. however this piece does have a happy ending <3 i hope you guys like it! i have future plans for more pieces similar to this so pls pls pls stick around! reblog and like if you enjoyed casual <3 for those of you who asked for tags on part 2's release will be at the end of the fic! as always, ur feedback and reblogs and everything helps me! thank you so much again! - elle
pairing: bang chan x afab!reader warnings/genre/tags: cursing, suggestive flirting, angst, situationship, arguing, tension, poor changbin and jisung witnessing it all, 3racha mention, skz, stray kids, bang chan x reader, chan x reader, song based, elle is crying over her own writing again wc: 3.8k
disclaimer!: i am not associated with bang chan from stray kids in any way. this is a work of FICTION, based on MY PERSONAL feelings. thank you.
đĄđźđ đ˝đšđŽđđśđťđ´: "Casual - Chappell Roan" 01:57 ââââââââââ 03:52 ă ¤ ă ¤âă ¤ ââ 㠤⡠㠤㠤❠âĄ
âšËââ§ââââââââââââââââââââ§âËâš
for the past week, you practically lived on your couch. you wanted to show up and act like nothing happened. to treat him just like heâd done with you for the last eight months. but you didnât have the heart to actually follow through with it. even if it was chanâs fault, you still hated yourself for knowingly going back each and every single time.Â
but that look on his face when you left that night..
he didnât know. he didnât even realize he was hurting you this entire time, and thatâs what really dug the knife in deeper for you. some part of you wanted, wished even, that he did it on purpose. that he knew what he was doing this entire time, but he didnât, and every time you remembered that, it suddenly felt like you couldnât breathe again.Â
the rest of the kids had to be worried about you. actually, they were worried about you.Â
with your fib about having the stomach flu, jisung had already stopped by, leaving a bag full of tummy friendly fluids and foods. he mustâve spread the word since felix had also stopped by with some drinks as well. some of the others had sent âget well soonâ texts, but you never heard from the one that mattered.Â
and why would you? you didnât even know if he even wanted anything serious in the first place, and if he didnât, why would he reach out? there wasnât a reason to.Â
but it still ate at you.Â
did he even want to apologize? it wasnât like you guys would never see each other again. unfortunately, you worked with stray kids, so it wasnât like chan couldnât avoid you forever. hell, you knew you couldnât avoid him forever either. were you both just supposed to pretend nothing ever happened and go back to being coworkers only?
that thought hurt more, and as the week had gone on, you began to grow more and more angry.Â
it was finally friday when you showed back up to the studio, your usual attire of sweats and a t-shirt adorning your body. your bag was slung over your shoulder as you pushed open the door to chanâs studio. the normal meeting spot for 3racha and you.Â
jisung had noticed you first, immediately beaming when he saw you.Â
âah, youâre back! i was beginning to worry you might need to have a trip to the hospital if you still werenât feeling well.â jisung said as he walked behind chan, who was sat in his usual office chair, to greet you. his arms pulled you into a tight hug, rubbing your back comfortingly. jisung pulled back a bit and held you by your elbows. âtake it easy today, okay? i brought gatorade with me today, you can have it. iâll just run to the vending machine.â jisung babbled, already beginning to micromanage you as he led you to the couch behind chanâs setup.Â
your eyes fell on the elephant in the room.Â
he was tense. you could see it in his shoulders and his body language. almost like he was teetering on the edge. of what? you didnât know. his jaw was set, seemingly annoyed by jisung still blabbering on to you and fretting over you. he knew as well as you did that you were fine, but no one else did.Â
âhan, theyâre fine. if they werenât, clearly, they wouldnât be here.â chan finally spoke, his voice low, but his words sharp. they hit you directly like a punch to the gut. before you could stop yourself, you were already standing again, answering for jisung before he could even reply to chan.Â
âwhat are you getting at, huh?â you snapped, your pulse already beginning to climb. this got changbinâs attention, and the male glanced over at your now tense form.Â
âh-hey.. iâm sure channie-hyung didnât mean anything by it.. letâs just.. letâs just get started, okay?â jisung said awkwardly, his hands gently pulling you back down to the couch, but you shook them off.Â
âno, i wanna know what heâs trying to insinuate here.â you stepped away from the couch and jisung entirely, your arms folding over your chest in a defensive position. this finally got chan to look at you, and you felt another blow to your stomach.Â
he looked like shit.Â
under his hat you could see his hair was definitely disheveled and unkept. the bags under his eyes were almost as dark as yours, if not worse, and his eyes seemed red. as if heâd been crying, or hadnât slept.Â
chan only rolled his eyes and scoffed. âi meant it exactly as i said it. if you werenât fine, you wouldnât be here, so clearly, everything is just fine.â chan said slowly, putting a slight emphasis on certain words.Â
âit isnât just fine.â you shot back, nostrils flared as that anger that had been building began to rear its ugly head.Â
then silence. you could feel three sets of eyes on you, but your eyes wouldnât leave chanâs. your breathing had picked up, visible to all three figures in the room. the longer you stood there, the more the walls began to close in on you. your mouth felt dry, and every time you swallowed, it was that weird sensation you always got right when you were about to lose it. the first few tears began to fall, and you quickly wiped them up. you couldâve sworn chanâs expression softened.Â
âlook, i didnâtâ.â
âletâs just get this over with.â you broke eye contact, avoiding his gaze as you moved to sit down next to jisung again.Â
changbin and jisung waited with bated breath, the room full of all kinds of emotional tension. but since you initiated working, both turned back to what they were doing and began to work silently. chan only stared at you for a beat longer before turning back to his work as well.Â
all four of you worked in silence until you began to go through some lyrics with changbin and jisung. you were writing on two songs with the two of them, trying to figure out some wording and then line distribution. eventually it was all sorted, and now it was just summoning the rest of the kids one by one. minho was the first, following after with seungmin, and finishing off with hyunjin. everyone could tell something was off, especially between you and chan as the two of you barely interacted unless you really felt like you needed to interrupt creatively for the songs. other than that, it was almost like you both didnât exist to the other.Â
jisung was the last to leave, and as you followed him to the door to give him a hug, he looked you in the eyes. âtalk to him. please.â he mouthed to you before pulling you into a tight hug.Â
âsee you tomorrow, noona? let me know when you get in too, please.â he said softly, giving you a small smile before heading out of the small space.Â
you watched the door close, the faint click of it shutting seemed way too loud for once. it was just you and chan now. alone. you closed your eyes, taking a deep breath in, and slowly releasing it. casual.Â
âjust.. forget it all. clearly itâs just a work relationship now. act casual. forget anything happened this morning. causal. casual. casual.â
âis there anything else you need help with, need me to work on, or look at?â you sighed, turning around and briefly glancing at him, his back still facing you as he clicked away at tracks and beats. you made your way back over to the couch, flopping down on it as you awaited his answer. it felt like hours had passed by, but it was really only a few minutes, but those few minutes he was thinking about the leftover work, you had fallen asleep to the softly playing music that you guys had been working on.Â
âuh.. no, i think this is all i can really get together for now. you can go ahead and..â chan stopped when he spun around in his chair, seeing you fast asleep on the couch. you were right. you really werenât fine. you mustâve been losing sleep over all of this just like he was too. usually sessions like this never put you out. they never put him out either, but he felt just as exhausted. if youâre emotionally on edge all day, of course youâd knock out once you had a moment of relaxation.Â
it wasnât extremely late, but it was late enough. chan stood, double checking the time as he shrugged off his zip-up jacket. it was only around 10:30, but it had been a long day for both of you. he made his way over to you, gently draping the jacket over your arms and chest as it did sometimes get a little chilly in the studio. thatâs when the guilt hit him hard as he stood there staring at your sleeping face. a sigh left his lips, âfuck..â he mumbled before rubbing a hand over his face. chan had never intended to let things get this way. in fact, he never meant to kiss you that night in the studio eight months ago. the reason why? it wasnât because of a fear of this happening, it was a fear of losing the small piece of normalcy he feels when heâs with you. these late nights in the studio, even when you both are working, makes him feel like he isnât bang chan of stray kids. he doesnât feel like he has this huge weight on his back on trying to be perfect for public eye. that he doesnât have seven members to protect and show up for. he can just sit in this room with you and shut it all out. pretend that maybe he isnât chan, and heâs chris again. chris from australia meeting you, the person heâs never felt such a strong connection to like this before. over the last few days, he began to retrace everything back in his mind, and he realized how wrong he was to take advantage of you like this. without even realizing it himself, he began leaning on you for that peace. for that tension release, and on the days where he still couldnât get rid of the stress from idol life, he pushed you away. he thought he was doing you a favor. keeping you away from idol life was what he thought was the answer if he wanted to keep you for himself and keep you safe from the stress of it all.
but something clicked that night eight months ago. maybe it was the song you guys were writing. maybe it was that he had a more rough day than usual, but he couldnât help himself when he pulled you into that kiss. he was ready to profusely apologize, worried he mightâve read the room wrong, but you kissed him back. and for the rest of that night, many more kisses were shared between smiles and quiet giggles, the only light coming from both of your laptopsâ screens. then.. things progressed further than just kissing, to full on hooking up on the couch after everyone had gone home for the night, leaving you two alone. and thatâs how things had gone on for the last eight months. his cold shoulder he gave you, was to protect you, in his mind at least it was. it only made things worse for you, as things were unestablished, and any time you tried to start making some kind of boundary, you would bend and fold completely for him. why didnât he notice sooner? it certainly would explain some of your mannerisms and behaviors after times he was, in his opinion, more quiet than usual. these thoughts continued to plague him as he sat back down in front of his laptop. chan sat there, mulling over it all until he heard you stir behind him. he glanced at the time, and he sighed softly. it was 2:23 in the morning. he had sat there running through it all, combing through every fine detail he could remember while you slept. his exhaustion was written all over his face when he turned around to look at you. âi fell asleep didnât i?â your tired voice rang out softly from the couch, turning your head lazily to look over at him.
âyeah, for about.. somewhere around four hours or so..â chan trailed off after glancing at his laptopâs clock. this statement caused you to sit up abruptly.
âfour- four hours?? i slept for four hours? why didnât you wake me?â your panic was noticeable as you began to get up from the couch. âdid we need to work on anything else? fuck, iâm sorry i just havenât been sleeping well and i swear i only closed them for a second.â you were rambling as you began looking for the notebook you had set down earlier. âwhere the fuck did i put it?â you had mumbled to yourself as you lifted the jacket chan had placed over you, not really registering he had covered you while you slept. thatâs when you felt a hand on your wrist, and you turned to see him now standing next to you. you could now see up close the pain and exhaustion in his eyes, and it made your heart ache.
no.
i will not fall for this again.
âi..â and he paused, noticing your tense frame. chan let go of you, and he straightened slightly, clearing his throat. âi want to talk. more than that though.. i want to apologize.â he said softly, his eyes now meeting yours fully.
and you stood there in silence. you didnât know what to say, but you know you at least wanted to hear what he felt like he should say. there was no guarantee that it would change the outcome from last weekend, and he knew that too. you knew he did from the way he looked at you now. pleading. just wanting the permission to at least hear him out. so you gave him a simple nod as you slowly straightened yourself, turning to him fully now, your arms crossing over your chest defensively.
you stared at him, waiting for him to continue. chan took a deep breath and he looked away, sitting down on the couch, his fingers running through his hair as he stared straight ahead.Â
âthis was never supposed to happen.â chan finally breathed out.Â
your heart sank. shattered, even. your arms fell to your side and you scoffed as your eyes began to fill with tears. he looked over at you at the sound, and he shook his head as he spoke quickly.Â
âno, listen. what i mean is, this right here. that wasnât supposed to happen. i.. i never intended for anything to get to this point of fucked up. i never meant for it to really get this far, but it did. even though this has gone way further than what i feel like we both intended, it doesnât change the fact that i..â he paused and took a deep breath. âgod i know this sounds so fucked up because of so many reasons, but.. honestly? i canât not be around you. i canât not have you in this way. i didnât want a relationship for so many reasons. one being that i didnât want to risk bringing the person into the spotlight and craziness of my life. plus, itâs just a big risk on my end and even your end. i want to protect you, not expose you to crazy fans and rumors from god knows who.â chan rambled out to you, his hands moving as he spoke.Â
he then stood and took your hands in his.Â
âbut iâm telling you the truth. i canât just not be around you. i canât undo everything we did. i donât want to, actually, and iâm so fucking sorry it took me this long to realize just what i was doing. you were right. it isnât fair that i pulled you in during the highs, only to push you away during the lows. i just didnât want to burden you with my shit. the last thing i want is to bring you into something you didnât ask for.â his voice cracked as he looked at you again. his own eyes were glassy from the tears threatening to spill over. his throat bobbed as he swallowed, trying to regain his words.Â
âbut how do you know that it wasnât something i didnât ask for?â you whispered to him.
it took a second, but the revelation hit him like a truck, and the first few tears fell down his cheeks.
âi-i donât know.. iâm sorry that i didnât even consider or ask.. i was just trying to protect you. itâs not an excuse, and i own up to everything, but when iâm with you.. i donât feel like this. i donât feel like iâm sitting in this damn studio writing songs for stray kids. i feel like iâm home. i feel.. free. i feel like a normal person again. you do that for me.â he said and shook your hands gently, emphasizing his feelings.Â
âi donât want to lose that. i donât want to lose you.â he finally breathed out, another tear falling down his cheek. âi fucked up. bad. and i totally understand if itâs too far gone to be fixed.â
you let go of one of his hands, your hand gently touching his cheek, wiping the tear away. his brows furrowed, confusion taking over his features.Â
âyou wonât lose me, chan.â you said softly, smiling at him as you leaned in, closing the short distance between the two of you. your lips met his in a soft, sweet kiss. reassuring. grounding. his frame instantly relaxed, and he melted into the kiss, his lips returning the same gentleness as yours. his hands found your waist, tugging you closer to him, afraid that you somehow might slip away.Â
you pulled away, a bit breathless. you pressed your forehead against his, pressing another quick peck to his lips.Â
âyou wonât lose me, but things need to change..â you whispered, your eyes opening to look into his now. he opened his, now looking back into yours. you felt him nod, pecking your lips as if to seal the promise to your words. âiâm serious. no more. no more push and pull. no more.. casual.â you spoke louder now, your face serious as you spoke, pulling away a little.Â
chan nodded, pecking your lips once more. âno more, casual. i can promise that, but.. i will need your trust and patience for the other part. i already struggle with letting the kids in on things stressing me out, but.. i can work on it. for you, i will. and itâs probably for the better anyways.â chan said softly before pecking your lips again, his arms moving to secure themselves around your waist. another peck was made to your lips before he spoke again. âif itâs alright with you.. iâd like to properly ask you out.â chan hummed, his signature cheeky grin was making its way to his face, and you couldnât help but giggle.Â
âof course itâs alright with me. however, iâm not allowing you to do it until youâve gotten some sleep.â your arms wrapped around his neck, both of you now even closer than before. a beat of silence and then,
âam i forgiven?â it was soft, hesitant. as if he was still unsure of where you stood.Â
you tilted your head from side to side.Â
âwe have more things to discuss and work on after some proper sleep, but.. more or less. iâd say you are mostly forgiven though.â you said softly, as you gently pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips. chan nodded at your words.Â
there was a lot more that you both needed to talk about. making boundaries was one thing for sure, as well as figuring out if you were both truly ready to make this more than a casual affair. you knew from the start though that you wanted him entirely. both versions of him. there wasnât a world where youâd get one version without the other anyways, so in your head, he lucked out with you. someone who was willing to accept it all and help shoulder that burden for him. to be his resting place. to rely on someone other than himself. to finally have some kind of peace in his busy world.Â
âcan i come over tonight?â he whispered, his eyes shining with a glimmer of hope that youâll say yes.Â
you only giggled before another kiss was pressed to his lips as if you couldnât get enough of them.Â
âas long as you promise not to leave me.â you whispered back, a smile on your lips.Â
chan smirked as he replied, âi think i can sort something out with jeongin.â a giggle left your lips as he pulled away and picked up your bag for you. âletâs go home.â chan said softly, his hand reaching for yours.Â
your hand found his, your fingers lacing together, as you felt the warmth spread throughout your chest. home. together.Â
as you both left the studio that night, things a bit better than before, you felt hopeful. you couldnât help but notice that the tension in him earlier that day was now gone. this was the chan that you knew. this was the chan that you fell for and that roped you in all those months ago. and now you were going back to your apartment so that the both of you could finally get some sleep and talk after the needed rest. the smile that made its way to your face as you stared at his side profile while you walked together didnât go unnoticed by him.Â
he felt your stare and looked over, a grin overcoming him too. âwhat? is there something on my face?â
ânot yet, but iâm sure there will be later.â you winked as you both finally made it to your apartment building. chan suddenly pulled you into his side, leaning down to whisper in your ear, his voice low.Â
âoh really? can i get a hint as to what will be on my face later?â chan purred, a smirk on his lips.Â
you only rolled your eyes and playfully shoved him away as you walked into the apartment building. that didnât stop the blush from giving your thoughts away though. you pulled him inside and towards the elevator.Â
âbang chan youâre gonna be the death of me, you know that right?â you huffed as you pressed the floor to your apartment.Â
he laughed, pressing a kiss to your temple as the doors began to shut. âoh i know, but thatâs if you donât kill me first.âÂ
âšËââ§ââââââââââââââââââââ§âËâš
tags: @notverychalant @gnabnahcsworld @nebugalaxy
casual â bang chan
authorâs note: so long story shortâ this was a vent piece for me HAHA. i love weird blurry lines (i do not.) this piece was also originally written and shared with a very dear friend of mine that i often write with as well. this piece however, was all me. miss chappell's casual was hitting really hard this day in particular, and yes, i listened to it on repeat while writing it. there is no second part, but if this does well then i'll officially write a part 2!
side note: this is my first little imagine i have posted in so long pls be gentle to my aspiring writer's ego <3 i plan to write more based off of songs and i'm calling it my 'spotify shuffle scenarios'! anyways,,,, enjoy <3
"i hate that i let this drag on so long, now i hate myself..." - chappell roan
pairing: bang chan x afab!reader genre/tags: angst, situationship, skz, straykids, bang chan x reader, chan x reader wc: 1.4k warnings: situationships, blurry lines, heartbreak, reader is hard on themselves. (if i missed any pls let me know!)
disclaimer!: i am not associated with bang chan from stray kids in any way. this is a work of FICTION, based on MY PERSONAL feelings. thank you.
âââââââââââââââââââââ
jeongin had decided to stay over with felix and seungmin, something about seungmin owing him dinner and felix had some gaming related things to talk to him about, so chan took advantage of that and invited you over.Â
you shouldnât have gone. you shouldnât have stayed over. you shouldnât have let him kiss you. you shouldnât have let him touch you. you shouldnât have said yes. you shouldnât have let him go all the way again. you shouldnât have fallen asleep in his arms. you shouldnât have let him whisper those sweet things. but you did.Â
it wasnât the first time either of you had spent the night together. or had sex. in fact, itâs been happening for a while now, but the amount of whiplash youâve been receiving lately was driving you slowly insane. so when chan invited you to stay, you jumped at the opportunity when you knew you shouldnât have. but you missed him. when you stopped by the studio, heâd been quiet lately. short. almost like he was angry or just too tired to even bother with you. but you didnât push him though, knowing that the prying eyes of the outside world was enough. the last he needed was for you to pry too. even if he pried at you about the simplest of things in your life.Â
and you realized that wasnât fair. you realized a lot of things werenât fair, and after chan fell asleep, here you were, standing in his bathroom as you broke down for the fourth time that week.
what are we doing? what is he doing? what are we? what does he want? fuck. my chest hurts. my heart hurts. i canât breathe. fuck. iâm tired. please.Â
this was all that ran through your head as you paced silently in his bathroom, trying to keep your tears as silent as possible. and it worked, chan slept hard, no idea the person he had befriended and formed some weird casual fling with was breaking down five feet away.Â
you braced herself in front of his sink, gripping the edges as your knuckles turned white. you looked up at yourself in the mirror.Â
âbabe, you look so tired.â chan hummed, his thumb rubbing over your chin sweetly as his other hand moved to cup your cheek, his other thumb caressing it. he wasnât wrong. you had deep dark circles under your eyes. you looked awful. âare you sure youâre okay, baby?â chan asked, his brows knitted together in concern.Â
âyeah. why wouldnât i be?â you whispered to yourself, repeating the words aloud that you had said to him earlier that night when you were curled up in his lap in the living room.Â
but the truth was, even standing here in his t-shirt, hickeys beneath the fabric already darkening, you werenât fine.Â
you hated herself, and you wanted to hate him, but you couldnât.Â
you opened the door and looked to his sleeping form. it was the one time he ever looked at peace. another tear rolled down your cheek, and you walked past his bed, pulling his shirt off of your body. you began looking for your own clothes, slowly pulling them back on as you cried in the dark of his room.Â
you didnât even hear the rustling of the blankets until a sleepy chan finally spoke. âbaby?â and you heard more shuffling before the light flicked on. at least you were dressed now.
 âwhat are you doing?â you could hear the surprise and confusion in his voice as he observed you, seeing that you were back in your jeans once more.Â
you wouldnât turn around to look at him. you swallowed before speaking, trying not to sound like you had been crying.Â
âiâm not feeling the greatest, so iâm just gonna head home. i wouldnât want to get you sick.â you said as normally as you could before you began to leave his room.Â
âbabe, what? youâre sick? what, hey wait?!â he had tried to follow you, but he still wasnât dressed, so that gave you more time.Â
you quickly grabbed your bag, tossing your phone into it and anything else you left out. your pace got faster as you made it to the door, trying to slip your shoes back on, a curse leaving your lips as the tongue of your converse folded weirdly, making you stop to fix it.
âbabes, at least let me take you home-â and he grabbed your wrist, finally getting you to look at him, making him stop talking.Â
âhave you been-â
âi can make it home just fine. let go of me.â you said firmly.
and when he didnât let go, you pulled your arm away, finally getting that damn shoe on, and opening the door.Â
âbaby, iâm- whatâs happening right now? are you okay? please, talk to me.â chan followed you out of the door, his pace matching your quick one. his hand found your wrist again and he stopped you.Â
âseriously, talk to me. this isnât funny. youâre worrying me.âÂ
âyeah, it isnât funny, christopher.â you finally spat out, looking at him finally. you felt your heart crack as you looked at the beautiful man in front of you. you pulled your arm away again.Â
ânow you want to talk? now you want to know whatâs wrong? after ignoring me for almost two weeks?â you asked him, tilting your head to the side a bit. a bitter laugh left you as a few tears fell down your cheek.Â
âthis isnât the first time youâve done this. ignore me, and then ask me to hang out or something and we end up fucking or making out and everything feels right for a bit until you push me out again.â you said quickly, the lump in your throat growing again.Â
âi thought it was me, but if it was, you wouldnât come back, but each time this happens, it kills me. i.. i feel disgusting. iâm not some.. some fucking toy or diary you get to open up and do whatever you want with it when you feel good and then forget about when youâre going through something. even when i had my own shit, i never did that to you.â you said through your tears as they began to fall faster.Â
âiâm so tired of this casual whatever we have. iâm tired of being your momentary piece of normalcy, because thatâs all i seem like i am to you.â you noticed the look on his face and you scoffed, a watery laugh leaving you once more.
âiâm not stupid. i know you lived through me. i understand though. you donât have a normal life anymore, but if you just thought to actually talk to me and let me in for more than one goddamn second, i wouldnât be here right now hating myself for crawling back to you every single fucking time.â you were a complete mess at this point.Â
all you did was smile and nod all the time. and then eventually, you fell for him, especially after things progressed past the stolen kisses in the studio when no one was around.Â
âim going home. alone.â you breathed out after catching your breath.Â
and you turned around, and began to walk away completely. you meant it. you were going home, and when you were showing up on monday, you already decided you were no longer letting yourself get so wrapped up in it anymore.Â
you didnât think chan had the kind of heart to do this willingly, and thatâs what hurt the most. it was unintentional. innocent, even. yet it left you hurting more than anything else.Â
once the taxi dropped you off, you made it into your apartment, and didnât even make it to your bed. your pillows still smelled like his cologne from the last time he was here, and you couldnât bear to be near it. you collapsed on your couch, crying yourself to sleep in the moonlight of your living room.Â
you didnât show up that monday though. or the next day after that. or the day after that one too. you sent a text to han every morning, letting him know that your stomach flu really had it out for you, but you would be back to see everyone as soon as you were well again. the thought of seeing him and trying to be normal in front of everyone was too much. so your couch became your bed, your workspace, and your safe space. this was your new normal.
for now at least.
a/n: there it is.... anyways if you read this far thank you!! if you guys liked it and want a pt 2 lemme know??? or if you think my writing is good enough to grace your blogs.. let me know if you want me to do more of these 'spotify shuffle scenarios' - elle
part 2 will be out soon đ aiming for sometime between today and friday!

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o boy iâve got so many writing ideas.. no one is prepared for this i can promise u that.. will be starting a master list post soon tooâźď¸
p.s. iâm working on casual pt. 2 so dw i got u guysâŁď¸
Pleaseeee make a part2 of âcasualâ I beg you pleaaseeee it was soo gooddd đąđ
ahhh you think so?! iâm so glad you thought so!! i get nervous sharing my writing publicly so iâm really surprised by how much everyone has liked it đ¤ iâll be working on a part 2 this week hopefully đŤśđť