he/ve/it/dude/bro/that thing
~
i’m a dumbass. i’m hated by god. i was diagnosed with annoying bitch disease at birth. i self identify as a deplorable bastard. a fag, queer, whatever. i’m gnawing on your walls from the inside out. i’ve been wanted by the government since 2007. i’m the biggest clown in the room at any given function. there is no method to my madness. you’ll be sorry to have ever had the misfortune of stumbling upon this accursed blog.
PLEASE STOP ASKING ME FOR DONATIONS I AM A BROKE COLLEGE STUDENT WITH HEALTH ISSUES 😭😭😭
i would if i could but i can’t so instead i just feel like shit about something entirely out of my control, especially bc of my moral scrupulosity issues ;-; so pls just respect that :[[
🦐 more under the cut 🦐
18 ~ don’t care who interacts as long as they don’t make me uncomfortable n shit :] and even then i’m willing to just like…talk about it lmao. so yeah
‘shrimp’ is op’s online persona, and not my real name.
shrimp uses all pronouns in his bio, but mainly refers to himself using he/him, to make it easier on his audience to understand who he is referring to (himself)
(i’m gonna hope that made sense..)
explaining tags:
this is a certified shrimpothy post — original shrimp thoughts/not a rb, etc. (note: some original posts won’t be tagged with this, usually just bc i don’t deem the post important or interesting enough)
there are many benefits to being a shrimp — my dumb take on the ‘benefits to being a marine biologist’ meme. funny or positive things relating to either myself or real shrimp lol
there appear to be some disadvantages to being a shrimp — a gag of the above. basically just the opposite of that tag.
shrimp says some dumb shit — pretty self explanatory methinks
shitpost? more like shrimppost — mostly shrimp originals that are shitposty or shitpost adjacent
shrimp says it’s time to get unconscious — a reference to @/i-am-a-fish ’s post of the same verbiage wherein fish (or in this case, shrimp) is tired, about to go to sleep, etc etc etc and anything else that may elude or be relevant to sleep/sleeping/sleepiness
(these pronouns are getting out of hand /j ref (if you use those pronouns or something similar just know that shrimp loves you /gen p))
note - it may be relevant to add that shrimp is a chronically fatigued insomniac so there may be mentions of disability or disorder induced exhaustion and whatnot under this tag as well. shrimp also sometimes sleeps as a coping mechanism, has an ever fluctuating sleep schedule, and may tend to keep odd waking hours. basically shrimp is, to his very core, eepypilled.
shrimp is too lazy to add the rest of the tags at the moment…but he will at some point
find shrimp elsewhere even though he never posts there…yet
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no one ever talks about how isolating being transmasc is. you're not "one of the girls and the gays" because you're not a girl and not seen as a guy enough to be gay. you kill the mood when you bring up how men Can get pregnant in real life when people make mpreg jokes. your old friends talk about how "nasty" men are and how they want to "kill all men". your queer acquaintance tells you that fujoshis are just perverts trying to fetishise gay men. cishetallo guys talk over you. cisgay guys talk over you. you go home and your parents toss out your masculine attires for you "daring to be a man".
like I don't even identify as transmasc anymore (is complicated) but back when i did, i would be so scared to come out as a trans man instead of nb because it would get me pushed out of friend groups and killed by my parents (which all eventually happened when the dam burst)
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the online identity and gimmick-ifying of autism is so odd. I'm diagnosed with autism and yet I barely identify with any stuff I see about it anymore. It feels like autism is being rebranded as the Silly Guy Disorder that gives you smart and beautiful hyperspecific interests. it's not that I mind silly jokes or being lighthearted about being autistic- but when the entire social movement is based around marketing us this way, I just can't help but feel isolated from it. it feels like I'm not the right kind of autistic. I'm not marketable and digestible to common audiences, and therefore I am discarded by the movement in the name of progress and acceptance. it feels foul.
we're moving to an internet where children would be banned from reaching out for help and friendship online but abusive parents can post their children's every second online to humiliate and expose them for money with no pushback
It's always "stop harming yourself or we'll have to lock you up!!!" and never "what do you need to change to want to harm yourself less and how can we help you make some of these changes?" and that's why we're not getting anywhere
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sorry to be brave on the internet but I think food labels should list every single ingredient and that there should be harsher penalties for mislabeling and deceptive labeling
There's always a moment of intense cultural whiplash whenever I realize I'm talking to someone who thinks "legal" and "illegal" are meaningful categories and ascribes innate goodness to following the law. It's like meeting a space alien.
HEY DON'T CRY. 8,008 SPECIES OF FROG IN THE WORLD PER AMPHIBIAWEB AND THE 8,000TH FROG WAS DESCRIBED BY TUMBLR'S OWN FROG SCIENTIST DR. Scherz, ET AL., PEACE AND LOVE ON PLANET EARTH ‼️‼️‼️
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people hate it when i say "black people getting cancer is racist" but im literally fucking right because systemic racism has led to chemical dumping being acceptable in black/brown neighborhoods and black people have higher rates of cancer as a result
i'm shrimp & i use the internet @shrimpothy - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook