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Not today Justin
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@shooncall
see the thing is shane WOULD have mysterious powers and never know it because they just don't coincide with his hockey career. like i easily see him as being able to control the weather or something and he just doesnt gaf. the games are all indoors anyway so he doesnt care or know why it always happens to storm like crazy after the metros lose no matter where they are or what season it is. thats got nothing to do with him!
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hayden keeps telling me its so awesome to have a captain who appreciates the sober lifestyle and im like thats great man but i dont think where i go when im sucking dick and cock counts as being “sober” to be completely honest like idk if it’s the taste or just the weight of it or whatever but I’m like. Not on this planet anymore.
ever time ottawa plays the metros ilya quote tweets the metros tweet that announces the game with
and absolutely nothing else
thinking about shane and ilya at some nhl alumni event years in the future….their relationship is old news and literally no one bats an eyelash at them anymore plus they’re staying in some penthouse suite where nobody can hear them but anyway ilya is fucking shane through the mattress and covers his mouth with one hand like “shush hollander you’re going to get us caught” and shane comes so hard he blacks out
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Cliff & Ilya send these back and forth after Ilya moves to Ottawa 😔
INCLUDE ME
you havent answered a text from me in like 6 months :(((((( you wont evem acknowledge me unless there's a camera pointed at us and even then its for some fucking cLOWN SHOW :((((( so yeah...,,! wHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT FROM ME????? :(((( WELL???? :'(((((
Favorite Hollanov Reactions
Shane voice ilya you can’t get the Braids. I know you like the beads. You can’t
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The problem with casual sex is like well you’re the first and only person who’s ever seen and been inside of my hole and I don’t trust another living soul to see me that vulnerable ever in my life. Maybe if we cut out the after sex cock warming it’d be less of a thing but I’d rather die. I’d rather die.
They move in together full time and Ilya notices that Anya acts differently with Shane than she does with him, more quiet and less playful, and he worries that means she doesn’t like Shane or is jealous, so he hires a dog trainer to come over and see if there’s anything they need to do to help
After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly
And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?
Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose
Shane comes home to Ilya with his face in his hands going oh god I’m not Anya’s dad I’m her brother and she thinks we’re both your pets. And Shane just goes. What.
thoughts on women?
None yet but I’ll keep you updated
god the way he says no hollander i want to fuck you is so hot i could die
let’s all remember that ilya professed his love to shane twice in a whispered rush and then in a hoarse tearful confession and then shane hit him with the holy shit and i love you too in his startled flat affect and then ilya’s entire face crumpled and he collapsed on top of him and shane held his head in both his big hands and kissed him on the forehead twice. let’s hold on to that ok
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I'm a firm believer that Cliff Marleau had to be told that Shane Hollander and Montreal Jane were the same person. I am of the belief that when the Fanmail video leaked, Cliff thought "oh, it must not have worked out with Montreal Jane but my boy bagged Shane fucking Hollander, so it's fine." He does think it's a little funny that both of the people Ilya's been seriously involved with are based in Montreal but he still doesn't put it together.
Bouncin on it
Maybe I just haven’t met the right woman….
……..bouncin on it
