shane’s so fucking brave, man. where the fuck would they be if shane weren’t so full of courage

wait okay one more take. the thing about shane is that he is so so brave even when he is so so scared, and he throughout both books is always the one who, when it’s down to the wire, keeps making the decision to push past his fears and desire to stick to the status quo and propel his relationship with ilya forward. so when people try to dismiss his choice to get engaged/go public (even though he’s terrified of the potential consequences) + tell crowell to go fuck himself when he’s offered the chance to go back in the closet (even though this is his life’s work going up in flames) + leave a toxic and abusive work environment (even though he’s going to leave behind the team he’s been the star of for a decade)……. and claim that ilya orchestrated the whole thing……. well no. it was actually #mybraveshane who did all of that

Like I just knooooow people are tired of them. Everyone knows without being told that they are having freak sex CONSTANTLY and that they are so in love about it. Like how does it feel to be together for twelve years married for one and you are STILL knocking the walls down every night. Everyone said it HAS to stop at some point and they are WRONG. Second season on the Cens Shane is still coming in routinely with bite marks on the BACK OF HIS SHOULDER and there is only one mathematical explanation for how they got there. Like ohhhh my name is Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov and the only thing I do is win Stanley Cups and have hot freaky athletic people sex with a man who would kill and die for me and I make MILLIONS OF MONEYS while doing it. I know people hate them.

2016 Ilya Rozanov searching “muscle bottom” on pornhub while crying. Send post

jacob tierney voice i appreciate your hardwork designing the ottawa centaurs logo for season 2 of my hit tv show heated rivalry. is there any possible way we can make it look like the centaur in question is very sexually needy and, again if possible, cock hungry? i need it to at least be implied that the ottawa centaur himself is a, formally sexually repressed mind you, gay centaur currently coming into himself and his identity. thanks.

[slow tender kiss] “stay.” and the whole damn time he’s rehearsing the I Love Pussy monologue in his head like oh yeahhh hell fucking yeah I’m gonna knock this one right outta the park

they went camping with their friends and now it’s time to sleep and ilya is horny and humping shane’s side “please shane, i need to fuck you” and shane’s like “stop that all our friends is right next to us and they’re probably listening to this” ilya whines and says “what they don’t know married people have sex?” and shane’s like “they know, but they don’t have to hear married people having sex” ilya groans “you already forced me a city boy to go camping and now you can’t even let me make love to you” and shane’s like “i told you that you could stay at home” and ilya replies “and spend a weekend without you?” and shane just rolls his eyes he can’t believe his husband is like this and he actually loves him and ilya keeps going “shane, just bite the pillow or other thing. i know you can’t be silent when im inside you” he’s saying against shane’s ear and shane shivers but try to stay firm “ilya, i do a hand job” and ilya’s like “no, shane, inside you” and shane roll his eyes “a blowjob then” and ilya looks like he’s been shot “shane, please, let me fuck you” he groans while putting his face in shane’s hair “please” he whines “please please please please please” and then they hear from the other tent wyatt yelling “shane please let this man fuck you and shut him up, we will put earbuds” and ilya laughs and shane goes redder than the red in centaurs jersey “ilya, why are you lke this?” he snarks and ilya’s like “you love me. now on your back, legs up *kiss* it will be worth it”

Some random corner of the internet is being parasocial and calling Hollanov a PR marriage and a random person is like "my cousin's cousin's girlfriend used to clean their house in Ottawa. Definitely not a PR marriage. Apparently they go through a lot of couch cushions and bedframes."

not to paraphrase my own post but ilya “likes to cause a hurt then soothe it to know his impact was felt” rozanov and shane “it has to hurt a bit to feel real” hollander. most sexually compatible people ALIVE. AND THEY ARE ALIVE. TO ME