me: hey babe i miss you and i shouldn't be calling you babe btw lol i know that this is somehow stupid but i just want to let you know that i am longing for you and i haven't talked to you for ages and i just don't know what to do its seems like you dont even give a damn about me and it feels like you never cared not even once, i can clearly see why tho, we're just people growing up, getting hurt and eventually will move on, and thats okay, its fuckin normal, i just hate this feeling that im the only one who always make it up and im the only one who make this work, i am hurt and i still want you with me, does that even make sense? cause all i know is when im with you it will be all worth it, i don't care about how much pity i get this time but i want to tell you that i miss you so much damn that it hurts i miss you so much and all i wanna do right now is to hug you, i miss you all the time and im not used to be for us to be like this, you know that i love you and i want you to know that you've hurted me so many times and i am willingly not closing the doors for you, i just feel like you're my home and im not yours, seriously it hurts like fuck and the fact that if i got to be with you again, i will just end up hurting over and over again and i will miss you further, i am so sad about this whole thing and i still love you, i never stopped loving you, just please understand the fact that i am hurt but still why am i thinking about you, if youre alright or if youre okay and i always care for you baby, i want to know if you're over thinking but certainly you're not, and you never showed this side of yours, and i want to hate you completely for that but no, i can't, i just love you too much and i want to stop this shit but i can't, this is really love i guess and its about you, and yeah im saying this through a thick air and i know that this will stay in this site for ages and you're obviously not going to read this nonsense thing cause like what i said, you never cared for me and i think that's enough to show me the pain, to be affectionate about this, like if you ever read this nothing's going to change, because i am hurt and you never really asked if im okay, thats why i totally get it, i was never really that important to you, am i? i wish i am, but unfortunately im not, but yeah its okay, it will just hurt and hurt and hurt over again but i can get though this alone, adding the fact that you just never really think of my feelings, don't worry i still love you and it is more than a friend, im just getting tired about all of this shit and i just needed time for myself, yeah that's all i just want to say, i want you to know that i miss you and it hurt like hell not talking to you,
cause i feel like you're the only one i have left and you're like this, slowly slipping away and i hate that thing, i want you and i want us but hey who am i kidding, that won't fuckin happen, you have him and im just a bullshit trying to make it up to a jewel just like you, i have always love you, you know that? well... i think i fell in love with you and i also think that that aint right cause you know, we're friends and hello? im not really enough for you cause fuck im not worth it, i miss you, and you're all worth it, i miss you, and im crying right now, and yeah i knoe nothing will change, just needed you to know that even if you won't even read this shit, it still fucking hurts, that you won't be able to know what i really feel for you, it stupid i know, so am i? this is stupid i guess, and i hate myself for that, but yeah here am i still loving you, and yup i cant lose our friendship for petes sake, thats the only thing i have left, our friendship, and yeah i trust you enough, but you didn't even trust me so close thats absurd, i hate you for that, i want to hate you, but i just can't, cause deep down i know that no matter how much you've hurted me, there will always be a part of me that loves you and it will fuckin never change.
hey you got him babe, i believe that he is a douche but i can tell that he loves you totally, i can see that and even if it fuckin hurts i have to accept yeah know, i wish this never really happened, like me falling for your fools gold, cause yeah this is slowly killing me and hmmm im going to be honest now, even if it changes things a lot, i have to take the risk even if its too late, i hate this, you're confusing me, i love you and im totally head over heels for you but i fall apart babe, i am falling apart and i think that i should end this but you know i can't and i don't want to, cause this is the only feeling that makes me feel ecstatic and im totally crying over you, i have been always in love with you and that will never change, even if you have him, and i have to be distant, cause hey it fuckin hurts to see him hold you like ugh, yeah, that, babe i used to see you happy with him but that doesn't mean it aint hurt no more, i want you happy and i also want tge the best for you, i won't stop telling you in secret that i have been always inlove with you and i just realized it, its hard for me without you but hey im gonna make it, lets see, im looking forward for that, hmmm i have a dream a while a go that you messaged me, and when i woke up, im hoping it was real, but it wasn't and it hurts yeah, and hurts even more you're ignoring me for bout a week now, yup. so I have many things to say, and im completely not getting out of words for you, i love you babe, if you ever read this, im sorry, for hiding you this, but hey you're the only one who knows about my blog, but babe i am never sorry for loving you, thats the shittest yet the amazing thing i have ever done, to love you completely inside and out, babe, i love you and i am sorry.
