grace upon grace.

i swore id be good id be better id never be measured by the mark someone else left on my spine

“You don’t remember the quiet moments. You remember fights. You remember seeing the girl kissing another guy at a party, or you remember a moment where you took ecstasy with a girl and you’re on the beach all night long—small images. But the truth is that the most lovingful moments are quite hard to remember. Because they’re musical. They’re not narrative. The moments of hugging and kissing or making love, they’re usually colored abstract or emotional.”

Also let yourself cry. It really is a biochemical release valve to dump out all the chemicals that make you feel stuff.

This is why tears from different emotions look different under an electron microscope. They’re literally made up of different things. 

I looked it up, cuz that tidbit was dope to me and..

If I could fall asleep, I would have been asleep by now.

“‘choose.’ i said, ‘me or her.’ but it wasn’t that simple not for you it wasn’t coke or pepsi cats or dogs sun or rain it was the difference between ‘i love you’ and ‘i need you’ soft goodnight kisses or rough morning sex big smiles and tenderness and a girl that just made you so happy or late nights and alcohol and a girl that made you feel alive so when i said, ‘choose.’ when i said, ’me or her.’ you looked at me like i was asking you the most unfair question in the world you said, ‘i love you,’ and my heart fell on cracked pavement broke right down the middle because i realized that it wasn’t the difference between coke or pepsi it was the difference between ‘i love you’ and ‘i need you’ and you told me you loved me which could only mean you needed her”

“I know that you’re afraid that you’re still in love with him. I know that you’re scared that you’ll be empty without him, that the best parts of yourself are wrapped up in the worst parts of him. You think that if he lets you go, you’ll look around your life and not recognize anything. You think that if you let him go, you’ll regret it, more than any choice you’ve made in your entire life. Because love is complicated. Love is messy. But babygirl, you weren’t empty before you met him and you damn sure aren’t empty now. So what if you’re still a little in love with him? Love is about choices. So make the choice to seek closure, to move forward instead of being stuck in his toxic orbit. Extricating yourself from your past isn’t easy. But you can’t move on without feeling everything that comes with saying goodbye. You can’t fully embrace everything that the universe wants to place in your lap without letting go of the burden still clawing its way into your heart. And if there is some space in your heart after he leaves, fill it with love - for your parents, for your kid brother, for the professor that saved your life. But honestly? I really hope you fill it with love for yourself.”

I want you to remember this more than anything in the whole world: No one who has hurt you, who betrayed you, who has never apologized for the pain they have caused you is worth your mental health, a place in your heart or the taste of acid on your tongue when you speak their name.