hello

I say it to myself when I wake up. And at work. And when I get home. And when I go to sleep. And in my dreams.

I am a broken record. Or maybe I’m just broken. But until it sinks into my bones and into my brain and into my soul, I will continue to remind myself.

You don’t love me.

Until I can say it out loud and not flinch. Until my heart doesn’t cave in under the weight of your absence.

You don’t love me.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

I’m looking forward to the day I don’t anymore.

But I can't call you

I know you think that I erased you

You may hate me but I can't hate you

Tell me how I should feel about you now

Or just tell me how to feel about you now

Let me know,

Do I suffocate or just let go?