SheNhe72

Today I want to “cryptid”. Rest in the shade of an old oak tree deep in the woods, eat berries and maybe hunt humans for sport. 

Okay, you have your husband, boyfriend, sub or whatever he is in the palm of your hand (instead of his own). But how can you keep him interested in pleasing you all day, everyday? You need to come up with some ideas on how you can tease him, humiliate him, or just plain make him think about getting into bed with you all day long. Here are a few ideas to get you started…

While he is at work: -Make him wear a pair of woman’s panties to work under his regular clothes. Believe me, he will think about you all day… -Send him text messages at random times telling him erotic things, such as, how much you want to suck his cock, or in what way you want him to give you an orgasm… -While you’re at it, have him stop by your favorite sex shop and pick up something that will embarrass him to buy. A blowup doll, perhaps… -Call him on his cell phone and have him go to the rest room and masturbate while he is talking to you. Don’t allow him to cum, but make sure he has to do some talking that will embarrass him if anyone should overhear… -Have him put a plug in his butt for an hour or two. Or put one in before he goes to work and call him to tell him when he can take it out… -Stick a pair of your panties in his pocket and tell him to smell them several times during the day. Maybe when you call or text him…

When he is at home: -Make him spend the day naked while doing chores… -Make him masturbate for you but don’t allow him to cum… -Make him beg to kiss your ass… -Put a leash on his cock and lead him around the house… -Make him satisfy you orally several times during the day… -Tie him to a chair and tease his cock for hours on end…

If you have kids at home: -Call him into your bedroom several times during the day. Fondle or suck on his cock until it’s really hard then tell him he can go… -Whisper in his ear that he is to go into your room and make himself hard. Have him call you when he has done it so that you can check the results… -Take him to the bathroom and make him masturbate for you. Just don’t let him cum… -Send him to the store with a butt-pug in place… -Make him wear a pair of woman’s panties then stick your hand down his pants periodically and fondle his cock or ass through the panties… -If you have two computers in the house, use your IM’s to chat and build a fantasy together…

I assume you are here because you are interested in adopting a Female Led Relationship and are asking yourself where to start. This note is for Dominant ladies whose husbands have agreed to take a submissive role. 

First of all you need to decide what you want out of the relationship. The relationship from here on in is all about you. You are taking on the Head of the Household role that a man traditionally holds. That is to say, you will make all decisions relating to the house and your lifestyle including money and how you spend your time. The Head of the Household has the right and is required to make the rules. Form here on your husband will be serve you and if you do it right will treat you like the goddess you deserve to be.

In order to be the Head of the Household there are certain qualities that are required. Generally speaking, women make great HoH as they are smarter and tougher than men. They also have the ability to multitask which, provided they are intelligent, strong and dominant they are as HoH far superior to their male counterparts.

I consider myself to be an intelligent strong woman. I know what I want and I like to be in charge. After years of putting up with poor behaviour from my husband that left me feeling somewhere between neglected and amazed at my husband’s stupidity, something had to change. This is when I found the concept of a Female Led Relationship (FLR). I realised that if what I read was true, I could turn my husband into a considerate, loving and attentive husband who places my needs above all others. It also turns out that I love being in control and being able to dominate my husband.

It has taken a lot of work to get here, but now we are here, the results are amazing. Your husband will be grateful and willing to attend to your every wim. Here’s what you need to do. Please don’t confuse my submissive husband with a weak man, he is a gladiator in the boardroom managing hundreds of people. submissive men who wish to be dominated by their wife are actually immensely strong. It takes a great deal of self-control and will to become a subservient man.

First of all decide what YOU want and how in an ideal world you would like your husband to act. Guess what, if you do this right it is about to become an ideal world! All you need to do is devote around 5 to 10 minutes a day closely monitoring your husband and the results will be AMAZING. I find being Dominant both enjoyable and sexually gratifying. I am sure if you are genuinely a Dominant person you will too.

Let me explain what I mean. I have no interest in competing with his work or his friends. I want him to put my needs above all others, take care of our family (including himself) and sexually satisfy me. Since starting I have gradually been passing him all of the errands and chores which I dislike, and he has gratefully taking them. He now shops, cooks and cleans for the family. And, as a by-product of having changed his ways, he has lost stones in weight.

You see some very complicated systems where women produce contracts they have their husbands sign setting out various rules that must be obeyed. I am sure it works for them, but I think it’s a complicated way of going about things. I instead I suggest you start off by setting a short list of things your husband is prohibited from doing unless it is specifically authorised by you. I demand from my sub:

No masturbation (this is very important as it     focuses him. Once he orgasms he loses focus for 24-48 hours. Also, it is     for me to decide when he is allowed, not him).

Never raise his voice to you and certainly no back     talking or arguing with you.

No spending above a daily limit of say $5-10     without permission

No drinking unless given permission 

Strict curfew

 As I say you will need to decide what works for you need to decide but let me outline my setup.

 Most mornings before we leave to get the kids to school and hubby goes to work etc, I have him kneel before me and I give him his instructions for the day. I tell him what I expect of him. These instructions may be errands I want him to run, pick up groceries or laundry that needs to be done. I may tell him that I want a foot massage that night or that I will be spanking him if he is due one. If he has neglected me or has otherwise disappointed me, I will lecture him during this time. At the end of the instructions and/or lecture I will ask him to confirm he understands and he will thank me.

 You need to decide how you are going to address your husband. You need to differentiate a normal two-way conversation between husband and wife. These sessions are not conversations, this is the Dominant HoH addressing the submissive or sub for short. You are telling him how his behaviour has disappointed you or how you would like him to act in the future or what he will do that day to serve you. Remember, is not a conversation he is not to speak unless you ask him a question. I choose to have my husband kneel on the floor whilst I remain standing, this is a sign of subservience and respect. You could place a chair in the centre of the room which he sits on whilst you remain standing. It is important that you remain standing so that you are at a higher level to him as you are addressing him as he is superior. At the end of each lecture or instruction makes sure he thanks you for guiding him. If he doesn’t graciously thank you, he will deserve a lower end punishment. I will come onto this shortly.

 I digress slightly,  I am sure you will by now have noticed that Dominant is with a capital D as a sign of respect and the submissive is with a small s. I now write my husband’s name (apart from on official documents obviously) in lowercase as a silent reminder of his subservience. Whilst on the subject of names, the submissive is usually expected to refer to the Dominant as Mistress, Madam or M’am. However, as we practice our FLR privately this is not really practical and I therefore only expect him to address me as Madam when he is kneeling, being punished or we are in bed. When we are alone he now uses Madam as a sign of respect and I think this is a nice touch. You will need to instruct your husband how is to address you and when. I recommend you do insist on your husband addressing you formally at least in private as the respect is an important part of the dynamic.

 Anyway, back our setup. My husband finishes work at around 6pm and it takes him approximately 30 minutes to drive home from work. I therefore insist he is home at no later than 6:45 pm unless I have allowed him to stay out later. Sometimes it is pre-agreed that he may have a night out with his buddies or sometimes he might SMS me during the day to ask for permission. Often I agree, but sometimes for no particular reason I just say no. Is he pleased about it, well of course not, but I am asserting my rights as the HoH and showing my Dominance over him. It goes without saying that he still thanks me for considering his request.  This curfew is to be respected regardless of the reason, there is no excuse whatsoever. Bad traffic, is ‘too bad’, he should have left earlier and he will still pay the price. I also don’t care if he has to work late he will still receive the full force of my discipline if he is late.  Strangely enough he doesn’t seem to care so much about the ‘so urgent work that could not wait’ before, now that he knows he will pay the price for staying late. The key to making this work and a happy submissive is zero tolerance.

 My husband has a weekly allowance of $50 which I give to him in cash as pocket money and he is free to spend it as he pleases. Beyond this he is not allowed to spend a single cent or use an ATM or credit card unless I have specifically agreed. I ask him each evening how much has spent and check all the bank statements as they arrive. Ideally, I would have him give me all the money so that I could hold it, but on a practical level he needs access. After all, how could he pick up groceries every day without $$$!

 Now my husband likes to drink. There is nothing he like more that meeting his buddies at the bar to drink and watch sports. Whilst that works for him, it does nothing for me. So, I have entirely banned hard liquor as it makes him drunk and argumentative, but I do still allow him to drink beers and wine. But, I have limited him to one drink a day unless I specifically authorise more. When giving him permission to drink I will almost always set a limit. I do always insist on him bringing a copy of his bar tab home with him so that I can count the number of beers. It does not escape me that if I was to implement the Dom/sub dynamic to the full extent, then he would not be allowed out at all he would be at home cleaning or doing laundry etc. But I love my husband and want him to be happy too, this makes me happy, so I still let him go out but in my terms.

 Every evening I will question my husband on whether he has spent money and if so ask for the receipts, whether he has jacked off, how if he has been drinking and the quantity and ask him to update me on any errands he was to run. Depending on his responses I will either praise him or dish out an immediate punishment. Sometimes, this can only be a discreet interim punishment as the kids are around or we have guests, but I advise him of what he will be getting in the days to come. If you do defer a punishment it is imperative that you do deliver, as failure to do so will send you right off track.

 As I say above it is important that he does not masturbate. But, all men masturbate unless you monitor them closely. If I find out that he has jacked off without permission he is punished (relatively harshly) and if it happens again within say a few weeks then he goes into his chastity cage for at least a week, which he hates. They are pretty uncomfortable things and prevent him from weeing without sitting down, but too bad if he can’t be trusted not to play with it, it gets locked away.

 In the early days, my husband was breaking the rules and making inadvertent slip ups that earnt him regular punishments. If I had to put a number on it I would say 3 or more times a week, but two years on they are more like once or twice a month. He probably gets more Dominance spankings than punishment ones now. Occasionally he still has bad runs, but don’t worry he learns the error of his ways! Actually, he recently had one of the most severe ever as I caught him DUI. On the other hand I have also made mistakes in letting things slide and I promise you as if magic all the rules start being broken.

 So you have set out the rules and you expect him to follow them. Will he? Of course not, well not at first anyway. You will need to enforce these rules. I know I am labouring the point now, but you must remember NEVER let anything slide. Not one little thing, not ever. If you do, you are wasting your time and his, this will fail. If you ignore an infraction your darling husband will take that as a message that whatever he has done is acceptable and you are ok with it. If he steps out of line he must be punished. As Head of the Household this is now your responsibility to deliver swift justice.

 I am sure this is all quite alien to you, so I will try and guide you as best I can. In order to do this you will need to get some tools to work with, simply a slap on the butt will not do the trick. In fact that is more likely to turn him on than discourage him from repeating the offence. The punishments must be suitably unpleasant in order to deter him for doing it again. 

 In order to get you started I suggest getting some English school canes, a large heavy as you can find hardwood paddle, a long handled bath scrubber and a heavy hairbrush again heavy as you can find. You can task your husband with getting these things together for you. You will also need bars of soap and liquid soap. Now let me explain…

 When it comes to punishing your husband, the punishment will need to fit the crime, that is to say the more his actions displease or upset you the more severe the punishment. Repeat infractions should receive relatively serious punishment. If you find your husband is repeating the same undesirable behaviour in a relatively short period of time, I would suggest you have not done your job properly the first time.

 First of all physical punishment. You are going to need to use your discretion as to the severity and intensity of the punishment. Your instinct will be to go light as you don’t want to seriously hurt him and he will be making his discomfort known and quite possibly at high volume. However, men are not easily hurt and can take a lot, the thrashing you give should leave bruising that last for days if not a week. Don’t be afraid to do it again the same or next day if it apparent you have not done enough. It is your prerogative. For some serious infractions I have been known to thrash him several days in a row on his already bruised butt.  If afterwards he is not in discomfort for at least 48 hours and there is not much bruising then you have gone too light. If you feel tired stop and have him stand in the corner with his hands on his head until you are ready to resume.

 The art of a punishment spanking is to administer a sound spanking to the point you are absolutely sure he is in distress, he may be sweating, breathing heavily and possibly even crying. If you can get him to cry you are doing it right. The level is going to vary from person to person and vary depending on the implement being used, but for my husband is usually around 100 or so swats with the hairbush or 50 with the bath scrubber (much nastier). His butt cheeks should be hot and scarlet red with a matt white finish and should be starting to bruise. If not carry on. When I have been really angry I given hundreds of swats. He will beg you to stop, you simply tell him he should have thought about stopping when he was doing whatever it was he is now being punished for and carry on. You can’t do any serious damage to his butt, so better to go too far than too light. Once you are satisfied he has been properly spanked you move the next stage. This is NOT the point you stop, you have just entered the ‘punishment zone’ every stroke will be unbearable and that is precisely the point. Everything you have done up until now has been bearable, in other words no harm done. Now is the time to have him thank you for the spanking and you deliver your lecture and tell him how disappointed you are etc etc. Next you bring out the cane or the paddle and give him a good number of strokes which he should be counting and thanking you for. One, thank you Madam. Two, thank you Madam and so on.

 Again, you will need to decide how many strokes of the cane or swats of the paddle you are going to give. The English who are the masters of the cane administer 12 at full force. I would suggest this as a minimum and for serious or repeat infractions I would go for several sets of 12 making him stand in the corner in between sets. If you try and go higher than 12 at a time he will just move and shout. It is much better to deliver more over a staggered period of time. The DUI incident that I mentioned above resulted in a severe spanking and 72 cane strokes given over an hour at 10 minute intervals. With a set of paddle swats to finish up. I am relatively confident there will be no further DUI in the future.

 I am not going to go into the technique of using the cane or paddle there is plenty of advice and videos online. But I will just highlight the importance of using all he force you can muster and that you must well cover the bottom two thirds of his butt and the back of his thighs in order to ensure discomfort when sitting and walking.

 You are likely to come up against a number of issues such as how to keep him in position and not screaming so loud the neighbours two blocks down can hear him. As for the first you must order him to stay in position and if he moves take the stroke or swat again and again if necessary. After the third time have him in the corner to recover and then start from the beginning. You can also tie him down, but I have never needed to do this. As for the screaming, you can invest in a gag (I only use it for serious correction) but as long as you pace the strokes or swats he should be able to remain relatively quiet. If he screams repeat the stroke – he will soon learn.

 Moving on from the physical punishment I strongly recommend you back each punishment up with a non- physical punishment, here are some that I have used to get you started:

 1.    Cancelling a social engagement, he is looking forward to.

2.    Grounding.

3.    Doing tasks or jobs that he does not like.

4.    Taking his SUV away and making him walk downtown to work and back all week. This is one of my favourites as it is tiring and makes him think about what he has done all week.

5.    Dropping him several miles outside town and making him walk home.

6.    Making him sit on the floor in the garage or bathroom for x hours

7.    Corner time. This is another one of my favourites.

8.    Writing lines.

9.    Withhold orgasms for months, but this is a bit limited as I usually only let him have one every four or five weeks. Conversely, I like to have him get me off at least three times a week. His frustration and my power over him really gets me hot.

10.                Ban certain foods or drink for x days or weeks. If I use this, I allow him to drink only water and the eat plain cooked rice all week.  

 Back in my world. Despite my husband wanting me to be Dominant and in charge he still continued to argue with me along the way into the relationship. This is something you need to have ZERO tolerance for and nip in the bud very early on. Probably the very first lecture you need to deliver to your husband is about talking back arguing swearing at you, including tutting sighing etc. Tell him that you will give him one chance and if he continues he will be punished. So in practice, as soon as your husband begins to argue, Hold up your finger and say STOP (if it possible). If he continues you must deliver a punishment.

 This is where the soap come in. Arguing or disrespect  = mouth soaping. This is unequivocal. Mouth soaping is by far the most effective way of discouraging disrespect as it links the bad mouth to the punishment. You should combine this with either a physical or non physical punishment.

 Ok, here’s how. You will need a soap box with a little water in the bottom so that the bottom of the soap is mushy. Take the moistened bar of soap and press it deeply into his mouth and instruct him to bite. Tell him you want to see the teeth marks in the soap. Alternatively, squeeze a dollop of hand wash and make him hold it until you give him permission to spit it out. Roughly a couple of minutes or so will be more than sufficient. The taste is absolutely disgusting, and he will learn to do everything he can to avoid it. It is also silent so it’s easy to implement even when the kids are at home or you have visitors. However, you will find you will have to implement this quite a lot to start with as arguing will come almost as second nature to him. Even if he catches himself and apologises, you still carry out the punishment. Remember, zero tolerance policy to back talk. The beauty of this is if you are out you can have him go to the restroom where there is liquid soap, which he puts in his mouth and sits in a stall for x minutes or until you SMS him to say he can spit it out.

 As for the physical punishment, you will need to use your discretion as to the level of argument and also consider whether or not he raised his voice. If he raised his voice and shouted at you the physical punishment should be severe. At the lower end of the scale I would probably have him hold out each hand and I would land the bath scrubber say 5 times on each hand which enough to sting like hell for an hour or two and hopefully bruise. Don’t go to town on the hands as you could do some damage if you over do it. Middle of the road a good butt spanking 100-500 with a heavy brush of 50-100 with the bath scrubber.  Top end, if he had shouted should be a full punishment spanking as outlined above and followed by paddle or cane, with soap in his mouth in the corner between sets. 

 Before I go, I must just touch upon dominance or maintenance spankings. These are given for no reason at all and are given just to show that you can. These are to assert your role as the Dominant and should be of a lesser scale than a punishment spanking, but still painful. I usually give my husband one every week or so and sometimes use these to try out new implements, either from the shop or that can be found around the home. I find it fun to tell my husband in the morning instruction to find an implement in the house that day that I will spank him with that night. We have truly used all manner of things and it is exciting and shakes things up a bit. I now enjoy giving out spankings, the power is a real aphrodisiac to me so I almost always have him get me off afterwards. After either type of spanking he cannot be more compliant or eager to please.

I’d like to share some experience, ideas, and tips I’ve put together after about 4 years of dominating my BF. This is all my personal experience, so it won’t apply to everyone.

Firstly, I need to share that we aren’t in a 24/7 Domme-sub relationship. That doesn’t interest me or my BF. My BF came to me about 4 ½ years ago and confessed some of his desires for femdom sex, and I decided to entertain it with him. It’s been a lot of fun, but I’m not making it a “lifestyle”, although we do have some “extended” sessions, which I’ll detail later in this post. Its something we do for fun in the bedroom (well, not always in the bedroom). We still have frequent “vanilla” sex, he’s actually quite good at it. :) That being said, I’m not here to pass judgement on anyone else, or pretend to be an expert on the subject of BDSM. My current BF is the only person I’ve played with like this, but we’ve learned a lot about femdom by experimenting, reading, and talking to each other. A good portion of these ideas and suggestions were his idea, and many are mine. Some may think that this is topping from the bottom, but I don’t take it too seriously. This is all just in good fun for us.

Also, even though I talk about some of the stuff below being “forced”, that’s not to imply he hasn’t consented. We always have a safeword, and we discuss generalities before we decide on trying something new (although I do definitely surprise him with new activities to push his limits). Also, keep safety in mind with any activity. Not all of this is safe for every couple or every person. So, with all that out of the way, lets get to it!

I approach femdom by classifying activities into 4 categories, then I put them together for an experience. The categories I use are: Degradation/Humiliation, Pain and Control, Frustration/Teasing, and Service. I’ll go over activities in each then describe how I put them together.

DEGRADATION/HUMILIATION 

This is a very fun category and can include a lot of different things. Here’s a list of activities that I enjoy inflicting on him.

Forced feminization - I frequently make him wear women’s clothing during our sessions. This can include lots of different outfits. Feel free to mix and match to your taste. Amazon is great for getting lingerie on a budget. I like to go with really girly colors and patterns for my guy. My favorites are:

High heels. These are an absolute necessity. You don’t need to spend a lot of money on these, but you might want more than one pair if you insist his outfits match.

Lingerie. This can include teddies, stockings, babydoll, fishnet dresses, etc.

Just a pair of panties. This makes him feel very exposed. I like ones that ride up his little butt (cheekies, thongs), but still cover his entire penis. Don’t let him wear anything else.

Pasties. This is very, very fun. Pasties are cheap, and not something you ever see a man wearing. A pair of high heels, pink thong, and some pasties is great outfit for him to wear while he cleans the bathroom for you.

Schoolgirl outfit. This is a classic, and can lead to some incredible role-playing situations. The skirt should be short enough you can see his little white panties peeking out without even bending over.

French Maid. Another classic, useful for the Service category I’ll go into later.

Makeup. This is a favorite activity. I love giving him a makeover. Super slutty makeup is the best and can be combined with any outfit.

Tight jeans, yoga pants, leggings. Pair these with a skin tight top and you’ve got a great outfit for lounging around the house.

Short shorts. These can be cut off jean type shorts, yoga style shorts, or anything you like. The shorter the better.

Corset. Use this to give him a girlish figure!

Women’s bodystocking. These are hilarious. They come in all kinds of patterns and colors, and are really cheap.

Halloween costumes. Great for any time of year! Amazon has cheap playboy bunny outfits, tinkerbell costumes, sexy nurse, etc. There are so many to choose from!

Pegging/dildo play - This falls into the pain category as well depending on your mood. I really feel that in order to make this act as degrading as possible, its important to get a dildo that looks and feels like a real penis. It should have balls and be a realistic skin tone. It should also be at least slightly bigger than his own penis (within reason). A big aspect that makes pegging so humiliating is the mental side to it. Obviously, there’s some physical to it as well, but just being forced to “deal” with a dick is mortifying to most straight men. Some activities involving your strapon or dildo:

Deepthroat training. Let’s eliminate that gag reflex ladies! Seriously one of the most degrading things you can do to your man is fucking his face. I like to recreate positions from porn in this activity. Relax on the couch or chair while wearing your strapon. Put him on his knees and make him get to work. If he’s not going deep enough grab his hair and force his face down on that dick! Trust me, he can take it. Don’t be gentle. Make sure he maintains eye contact like a good little porn star! I also like to have him lay on his back on the bed or couch, with his head hanging over the side and cram my dick down his throat. Do this until he gags, over and over, he’ll be drooling all over himself soon enough. Have him lie down on his back, then straddle his upper chest/neck area so the only thing you can see is his face. Put your dildo in his mouth and jackhammer that thing down his throat. Don’t be scared of hurting him, even if your dildo is on the large side of realistic. he’ll eventually be able to take it balls deep. He might complain that it doesn’t fit. Well, its your job to MAKE it fit. Yes he’s going to cough and gag, a lot, yes he’s going to have a lot of drool and mucus coming out of his mouth. That’s OK. Don’t be deterred by any sounds, drool, or complaints. Also give him instructions and compliments when appropriate (“yeah, show me your tongue” “hands behind your back and open wide bitch” “give me that throat” “that’s a good little cocksucker”)

EDIT: I’ve received several questions about this point. I’ll clarify exactly what were doing here and why. When I make him suck my dildo, I’m not getting any physical pleasure out of it and neither is he. This is not meant to be physically pleasurable to us, it’s meant to make him feel like my bitch. When you do this, make it an ordeal he needs to suffer through. When he’s on his knees in front of you, fuck his mouth hard and fast. Really make an effort to get your entire dildo down his throat as you thrust in and out. Make him suffer here for quite some time, 5, 10, 15 minutes even. Don’t let him get away with pulling his head away or anything either. Make him keep your dick in his mouth, see how long you can keep it buried balls deep in his mouth, lock your legs around his head if necessary. His jaw and throat should be very sore after this ordeal, and his face should be a mess of slobber and spit. Once he can take your whole dildo down his throat without gagging, its time to upgrade to something longer and/or thicker. Your goal should be to have him performing at THIS LEVEL and he won’t get there without proper training.

Butt fucking. Work up to this using your fingers, plugs (he should wear a large sized one for a while before a pegging session), and other toys, but eventually your goal should be forceful pounding. Make him feel what its like to really get fucked. While pegging him, yank his hair, push his face down into the bed or floor, slap his ass. Be creative with positions and locations. One of my favorites is the tile kitchen floor, he doesn’t have to be comfortable while getting fucked. Use lots and lots of lube here, it makes getting your dick in a lot easier on both of you.

Dildo masturbation. Make him suck and fuck himself with a dildo or other toys for your amusement. This one can be done with very minimal effort on your part. Just give him a toy, order him to the corner, and tell him to get it up his ass.

Using other objects to fuck him with. This can be a lot of fun, but be careful. Some items I’ve fucked him with: Beer bottle, drumsticks, vodka bottle,

Forced Nudity - This one is simple, but you can spice it up with toys if you like. Simply order him to be naked while you remain clothed. If you like, make him wear a butt plug that you can smack and wiggle around while he gets you a drink. Put a collar on him if you want, or combine this with forced feminization from above (for example make him wear only high heels, lipstick, and a chastity cage for the evening). Sometimes its fun to combine this with pegging. I’ll strap my dick on over my jeans, while he’s completely naked. Its a very humbling experience for him. I also frequently have him sleep naked.

Forced Performances. This is very entertaining and again a low-effort humiliation. Sometimes I like to put on some music and have him dance for me. I’ll make him perform a little strip tease, twerk, etc. Sometimes I will have him masturbate for me. I’ll give directions. (these are great times for video recording)

Spitting. We’re getting a little more extreme here. Don’t be afraid to spit on your male. This can be especially degrading during pegging, even more so during deepthroat training. While he’s making eye contact, just launch a huge wad of spit right in his face. He’ll love you for it! It can also be degrading while you’re criticizing his performance to spit in his face.

Golden showers. We haven’t worked our way up to here yet, and to be honest, I don’t know if I want to. Something we have tried in this area though, making him lick me clean after I take a piss.

Verbal humiliation (Disclaimer: Talk to your partner about this first if you’re worried about crossing a line with him, because this can be emotionally charged.) I really like this, and to me, there are two components. 1. You degrading him with words. 2. Making him degrade himself with words.

You degrading him.

Name calling. Call him degrading names. This can include the following: Bitch, sissy, cunt, slut, whore, piece of shit, stupid, worthless.

Penis humiliation/emasculation. This is common on femdom porn sites. Make fun of the size of his dick, his sexual ability, the things he lets you do to him, etc. Terms like shrimp-dick, bitch boy, butt boy, fuck-hole, cum eater, cum dumpster, cocksucker, limp dick. etc.

Combine insults. Example: “You’re a little limp dick cocksucker.” “You’re a little cum eating bitch, aren’t you?”

Being forceful and insulting with your directions. Example: Instead of saying “get on your knees and suck my dick”, say “Get on your fucking knees and get this dick down your throat you little bitch.” Instead of using his name and telling him to bend over the kitchen table for his pegging, say something like, “Hey shrimp-dick! Get in here, bend over the table and get fucked.” Instead of saying come here and lick my pussy say “get over here and make me cum you little piece of shit”.

Tell him what you’re going to do to him later. Send him a text letting him know you’re going to make him eat your pussy and send him away hard and frustrated.

Order him to do things for you. *MOST IMPORTANTLY: Don’t be afraid to raise your voice, or even yell. Its encouraged in this situation that you will be very forceful with your voice. Yell in his face if he isn’t licking your pussy correctly. Yell in his face after you cum and tell him to get the fuck off the bed and do the dishes.

Making him degrade himself. This can be really fun.

Make him beg. Use this for anything, make him beg to fuck you, beg you to peg him, beg you to let him masturbate, beg you to let him eat his cum, beg you to spank him, etc. It doesn’t even have to be something he wants. The key to this though, is to make sure his begging meets your standards. If you don’t believe he really wants it, punish him and make him try again, and again until you really believe him.

Make him apologize. Maybe the orgasm he gave you was mediocre. Maybe he didn’t take your dildo up his ass with enough enthusiasm. Maybe when you told him to deepthroat your strapon, he couldn’t get his nose to touch your stomach like you insisted. He should be punished for such infractions, but he should also tell you how sorry he is first. (maybe after his punishment too.) Make sure he apologizes sincerely for any shortcomings. Shit, sometimes I make him apologize for having a small dick (even though he doesn’t).

Make him thank you. Did you let him have an orgasm? Did you fuck his little butthole really well? Did you let him lick your asshole? He needs to thank you for the privlege.

Make him confess. Make him tell you his fantasies. This works especially well if you have him on the edge of orgasm. Make him confess a deep, dark fantasy that he’s never told anyone before. (He’ll probably run out of ideas at some point, you can punish him for that)

Public Play. There are some really fun ways you can take this play out of the house for some really great humiliation that doesn’t involve violating other people boundaries.

Clothes shopping. I enjoy taking him to stores, wal-mart, target, etc. and picking out some really girly panties and outfits for him to wear. If there isn’t anyone around, I’ll occasionally make him go try them on in the dressing room.

Wearing plugs or other toys in public.

And finally, for one of the most humiliating things a man can ever do……

Swallowing cum and/or getting a facial. He fucking hates this, which is why I love it. Any time he has an orgasm during any femdom activity, he’s eating it or its going on his face. I don’t care where it lands, how he came, if it was an accident, or if he really doesn’t want to. That cum is going in his mouth and down his throat. There are a lot of ways to accomplish this, but I really enjoy planning ahead for it. Its also a huge turn on for him, knowing that he’s going to be forced to eat it, even though immediately after he cums he’s absolutely repulsed by it. Some of my favorite ways to do this are:

Make him cum into a condom, then empty it into his mouth.

Make him have a ruined orgasm (I’ll explain later) onto the tile or hardwood floor. Then make him lick it up. If he resists, shove his face in it. If you have carpet, that isn’t a problem. Make him suck the cum out of it until its all gone.

If you let him cum inside you or on you, make him suck the cum out of you or lick it off of you.

While he’s wearing a pair of panties, rub his dick until he cums in them. Then peel them off and make him lick it out, or smear them all over his face.

Flip his legs over his head into the piledriver position (good for pegging also) and make him shoot his load all over his own face. This is a favorite of mine, simply because of the role reversal mind fuck going on in his head. I also like making him leave the jizz on his face for the rest of the day.

Make him cum into a glass and then pour it into his mouth, or pour it all over his face and/or hair.

However he gets the cum into his mouth, occasionally I’ll have him “play” with it. Gargle it, show it to me on his tongue, drool it out and then suck it back up like a porn star.

EDIT: Ladies, he’s going to be much more compliant with eating his semen if he has had a ruined orgasm instead of a pleasurable one. I mention this below but I’ll go into some more detail here. When your man has an orgasm his sexual desire drops off a cliff. He won’t want to eat his cum and will resist. But if you give him a ruined orgasm, he doesn’t get much pleasure at all, and his sexual desire remains high, but he still can expel a good amount of sperm. The goal here is to make his semen come out of his dick without pleasure, but for most men, the pleasure and orgasm actually begins several seconds before he ejaculates. So I like to have fun with this. With him on his knees and his hands restrained I’ll stroke his dick until he gets very close to orgasm, and then when I think hes right on the edge, I’ll let go and watch. I’ll wait about 20 seconds and if no semen comes out, start again. If you’ve done this perfectly, his semen will leak out about 10-15 seconds AFTER you stopped stroking it. He’ll be left sexually frustrated, but you actually DID give him an orgasm, its not your fault he didn’t feel it! He’ll be much more compliant in regards to consuming semen in this way. I like to combine this with chastity sometimes too. I’ll have him locked in the cage for a few days, give him a ruined orgasm and then put him back in. Its wonderful!

ADDED HUMILIATION BONUS!

For added humiliation, I frequently take pictures and video of my pet during these humiliating sessions. I keep these and then use them later for addiitonal humiliaiton. Seriously, having a video of him, with his face covered in his own semen, apologizing for not deepthroating my strapon well enough, all while dressed in daisy dukes and a bikini top….well that’s just good entertainment. Sometimes I make him watch some of the videos with me and laugh at him. It always results in a giant erection in his pants, haha.

PAIN AND CONTROL

DISCLAIMER: It seems online, many people are nervous about this category, and with good reason. Its sometimes hard to tell what your partner is comfortable with, and they may not even be sure of it themselves. So take all of this slowly at first until you and your partner can figure out what works for you. That being said, I seek to push right up against my boyfriend’s limits here. This is where the “forced” part of the humiliation listed above becomes more real.

There are several ways to inflict some pain on your male, here are some of my favorites.

Face slapping. I really enjoy this. Nothing gets his attention so quickly as a pop to the side of his cheek. Several (5-6) in quick succession create a look of fear in his face that I love. He can take a lot of punishment here too, just watch out for his eyes and ears. This is an especially good thing to practice while you’re fucking his face or he’s licking your pussy and/or ass. Use your slaps to get his attention, give direction, and have fun. “I slap told slap you slap to slapfocus slap on slap my slap clit!! slap”

Hair Pulling. Grab his hair and yank his head around. Do this while pegging (in any position), while he’s giving you oral (or sucking your dildo), to lead him where you want him, to hold his head in place while you slap him, to force his face into a puddle of semen, etc.

Spanking/whipping. The most common. I like to use a belt, flogger, occasionally a cane.

Cock and Ball Torture. Another common theme on femdom websites. Here’s a list of techniques I use.

Squeezing/Pinching. Grab his balls and squeeze. Pinch the head of his dick.

Slapping. Simple. To make it hurt worse, you can grab his balls into one hand and hold them tight and steady while you slap.

Punching. Same as above but creates a lot more pain. :)

Kicking. Kicking him right in the balls after you just fucked his ass can be quite the experience for both of you. Take this one more slowly haha.

Nipple Play. Most people know about this already. Use clamps, clothespins, pinches, flicks, twists, and scrapes to inflict some pain here. He can take more than you think.

Chemical Play. Ok, we’re getting to some more extreme areas here again. This is not to be taken lightly, as many people’s bodies react differently. Here’s a list of things we’ve tried.

Ice cubes. Rub on his penis, balls, asshole, and nipples. This can sometimes eliminate a pesky erection in a pinch. I’ve inserted cubes into his anus as well, he doesn’t like that lol.

Ben-gay/Icy Hot. Rub this on the penis balls, taint, and anus. This creates a very unpleasant burning sensation. My pet feels very intense pain for about 10-20 minutes. It then subsides to a mild cooling sensation.

Tabasco/hot sauce. Same as above, rub on genitals and asshole. Your man’s experience will vary here depending on the type of sauce you use, the duration you leave it on, and the amount you use. I reserve this for serious punishment. I once poured some hot sauce on the dildo I fucked him with. Let’s just say he didn’t have a great night.

Electricity. You need to be even more careful here. My only experience is a dog shock collar. I attach the collar around his penis and testicles. It has a vibrate function (for when he’s been a good boy) and 8 levels of shocks. We’ve gotten up to level 6. He really hopes I don’t have to use 7 or 8 on him. You can experiment with the position of the collar on his genitals. If the contacts are touching his balls, he’ll feel it throughout his sack and his perineum. If you flip it over and the contacts touch the base of his penis, shocking sensations will affect his entire penis, all the way to the head. We’ve experimented with different levels here, and it seems his penis is much more sensitive to electricity than his balls are. Your man’s experience may vary. This collar also has a sound/beeping function that I use as a pager when I need him. If his balls beep, he has 10 seconds to be on his knees in front of me, regardless of his prior activity, or else he’ll face punishment.

Bondage and Restraints. I keep this simple as I don’t enjoy taking the time to set up intricate bondage situations. I’m sure my BF would like it, but its just too much effort when I can use simpler items to accomplish the same things. I own a few types of gags, a collar and leash, handcuffs, bed restraint system and, my favorite, a spreader bar (bar with cuffs for hands and feet).

Control. A lot of the more severe pain and control items above are essentially just a method to get my guy to do what he’s told. This is where the “forced” aspect really comes into play. For example, he absolutely hates eating sperm. But if I want him to eat sperm, he’s going to fucking eat it. So I use pain to get him to do it. One way I do this is with the electric dog collar and handcuffs. After he cums, and there’s a load of sperm sitting there on the floor, I give him a choice. Either put your face on it and suck up all that lovely sperm, or, get shocked in increasing intervals and strength. Eventually he’ll do it. This is an area where we’ve both agreed that he doesn’t get a choice any longer. He submits to being forced to lick his jizz off the floor.

Another example is dildo play. If i instruct him to deepthroat my strapon, and get the entire 7 inches down his throat while maintaining eye contact, that’s his job to do. If he doesn’t, I inflict pain. For example, I might start by slapping his face as a warning if he’s disobeying, increasing the strength and quantity of the slaps as I try to work the dildo down his throat. If that doesn’t work, I move on to other means. I may whip him with the belt, or punch his balls a few times then give him another chance. I increase the pain until he obeys. Its really fun to give him tasks that are hard to acheive. I also use pain as punsihment for failure. If he can’t make me orgasm in a certain time period, or its less pleasurable than what I expected, I may attach the spreader bar to his ankles and wrists, gag him, slather his cock and balls with ben-gay, and then go have a glass of wine while he contemplates how he can improve his performance next time.

This doesn’t mean I need a reason to hurt my toy. When we’re playing, I may slap him for fun or for no reason at all. If he’s getting pegged, he should expect to get popped in the face a few times just because I fucking feel like it. Maybe I’ll kick his little blue balls afterwards while he’s still on all fours on the kitchen floor, just because I want to be a bitch.

FRUSTRATION/TEASING

This is really quite simple. When we’re playing, I cum when I want, he cums when he’s allowed to. I enjoy making him suffer in this way, its honestly the most fun part of all this. There are a lot of ways I enjoy teasing and frustrating him and I’ll go over some of them now. There is one hard and fast rule in this game for us. He must always ask permission to ejaculate, no exceptions. He’ll be punished severely for an unauthorized orgasm or ejaculation.

Chastity. This is a must for us. While we don’t play 24/7, I enjoy making him wear a chastity device frequently when we’re apart. I work nights, so if I’m at work, chances are he’s locked into “The Vice”. This is a locking chastity cage, similar to others, only this one has an anti-pullout mechanism that makes it very difficult to remove without the key. Basically “The Vice” (available at  www.lockedinlust.com ) is a plastic sheath for his dick that attaches to a ring around the base of his balls. It prevents erections and masturbation very well for the price. I don’t want my man’s dick mangled by a piercing for this game we play, and some of the other devices out there require that to be secure. The Vice keeps it secure and out of his (or anyone else’s) hands. Its so empowering to be able to restrict access to his own dick. I have the power to grant him erections and orgasms, he can’t have them without me or my approval. The length of time he wears the device really changes, but is up to me. I usually don’t keep him in it for more than a couple days, but we’ve had times that I left him in there for over 3 weeks. He really wasn’t happy about the time I had to leave town for 4 days and took the key with me, AFTER he’d been locked up for a week already.

There are a log of fun chastity games you can find online. Some fun chastity games we play:

Try to cum. I enjoy leaving the device on him, and tell him to try to have an orgasm with it on (no vibrator allowed!). Its fucking entertaining to see him hump his hand, finger his asshole, shake the cage around, pinch his own nipples, etc. I like to offer some cheering words of encouragement here for him. Usually I have him do this on the floor in the middle of the living room while I sit on the couch and watch. He hasn’t been able to cum yet, but maybe one day he’ll get there. (Another great video opportunity)

Coin flip. If he’s been locked up for several days, I’ll strap him to the bed or handcuff him to remove the device. Then I’ll start stroking his dick until he’s very close to orgasm, right on the edge. Then I flip a coin, heads I finish him off. Tails, I immediately stop, put an ice pack on his dick and lock him back up once he’s soft again. Better luck next time honey.

Roll of the dice. If he rolls a six, he gets to cum. If not, that’s the number of days he stays locked up until he gets another chance. This went on for over 3 weeks for us at one point. He was really on edge lol.

Chastity can also play into the control aspect as well. Sometimes when we play I don’t take the cage off. For example, he doesn’t need an erection to get fucked in his ass or to use my dildo and vibrator on my pussy, so why take it off? If he starts giving me a bad attitude, I’ll simply add another day or two to his lockup time. I use this as punishment for disobedience when playing, so it gives me more control.

One of the big things you’ll notice if you start incorporating chastity into your sex life, is that he will become more and more agreeable and obedient as time goes on, if you restrict his orgasms. If we’re playing with chastity more seriously, I like to make him wait 1 to 2 weeks between orgasms. He has a high sex drive, so when I do this, he gets so horny he’ll do anything to get out of his chastity cage. Its really entertaining to see what I can get him to do. Once, after 13 days locked into the Vice, I insisted he detail my car if he wanted out of the device. He whined and complained, so I told him that he just earned himself another 3 days in the device, and I still expected the car detailed.

The MOST IMPORTANT thing when incorporating chastity into your sex life is this. SAY NO. Don’t be swayed by his begging, whining, or complaining. Firstly lets get this out of the way, no one NEEDS to have an orgasm. He wants to cum, he doesn’t need to. So lets get that little idea out of the way immediately. We have a rule, when he’s locked up, he gets to politely ask for an orgasm once per day. If I feel like it, I’ll have him earnestly beg me. This is great for extracting promises from him. But if I say no, he needs to shut the fuck up about it immediately. Occasionally I’ll say yes, but most of the time I’ll say no as I’ve already decided on how long he’s going to be locked up. Do not feel bad about this. In fact, relish your power here.

I get off on having him go down on me right after I tell him “No, you’re staying locked up.” While we both agreed to incorporate chastity devices into our sex life, the lockup duration is my decision alone. Use the device to modify his behavior to your liking. If you want something from him, sexual or not, give him the order. If he doesn’t comply, add time in the device. The power is intoxicating.

Teasing. Sometimes he wears The Vice around the house, sometimes not. But regardless I like to wear skimpy clothing, rub up against him, feel and squeeze his balls, ass cheeks, and body just to see him get a boner (or try to, hehe). I’ll take this a lot further sometimes, stroking his dick until he starts leaking precum, getting him close to orgasm, only to stop and tell him to calm down. Sometimes I even let him fuck me until I have an orgasm or two, then tell him to stop. This is delightfully frustrating for him. Other times I’ll leave him in the chastity cage and masturbate right in front of him. One of my favorite teases is to use his mouth to make me cum and send him away completely denied. Sometimes I tell him I’m going to make him cum, only to stop at the last second and tell him I changed my mind.

Ruined Orgasm. By far the funniest aspect to this whole femdom thing. Its really an artform. The basic idea is that you get your man very, very close to the point of orgasm and then stop all stimulation. If you do it right, he’ll just tip over the edge, and his semen will dribble out of his dick with barely any force, and next to no pleasure. This works best with his hands restrained so he can’t try to finish the job himself. I like to pair this sometimes with the shock collar to make it completely miserable.

SERVICE

So now we get to the fun part. A lot of the above is playing into my man’s fetish, and that’s ok. I do love him, and I don’t have a problem doing stuff for his enjoyment. But you can be sure I’m going to be getting something out of all this! A big part of femdom is serving the woman in the relationship. And I’ll detail how that all works for us now.

Sexual Service. This encompasses everything. If I want my ass eaten out for 2 hours while I watch TV, he does it. If I want a full body massage from a muscled, naked man, that’s what I get. If I want to fuck and get off two or three times, I get that. If I want my nipples sucked while I use my vibrator on myself, that’s what I get. Nothing is off limits to me sexually. I speak, he obeys. That’s just how it goes. I typically don’t orgasm from oral sex alone or penetrative sex alone, and sometimes it can take quite a while for me to get there. The point is, I get what I want. Not that I want him eating my ass for 2 hours necessarily, but I’ll make him do something like that sometimes just because I can. (Then sometimes make fun of him for it.)

Facesitting. I love sitting on his face. Its a great experience to cum all over his face. Sometimes I use just his tongue, while other times I’ll shove a dildo in his mouth and ride it while using my vibrator. I also have a gag that has a dildo sticking out of it. Whatever I’m using, its important that I’m only concerned with my own pleasure during this experience. Don’t worry about whether or not he’s able to breathe, if his tongue is tired, if his neck hurts, etc. In fact, its quite enjoyable to put him in intentionally uncomfortable positions for this. We have a hard wooden chair that I like to use for this. He’ll be required to sit on the floor and lean his head back onto the seat of the chair. This hurts his neck and head when I really start riding and bouncing on it, but who gives a fuck? He needs to focus on my orgasm, not his temporary discomfort.

As part of the sexual service aspect of femdom in our sex life, we’ve decided that he no longer decides when and where he gets to orgasm, when and where I get to orgasm, and he doesn’t decide on when or where any other sexual activity takes place. That’s up to me now. This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t initiate sex any longer, far from it. But it does mean he doesn’t get to complain, and he doesn’t get to turn me down when I want it either.

The goal of sexual service is two-fold. One, for you to get all the pleasure you want. Two, for him to feel completely objectified. When you are using him sexually, think of him as just another sex toy, a dildo that you can use up and throw away when you are finished.

But this isn’t limited to sexual service only.

Domestic Service. Basics. When we’re in femdom mode, he does the chores. All of them. We get to spice up mundane things like cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming in easy ways. For example, if the dishes need washed, and the kitchen mopped, I tell my bitch to get his maid outfit and shock collar on and bring me the large butt plug. While he gets dressed I may watch TV, text friends, do some shopping online, or anything else I want. When he’s ready, he lubes up the plug and I put it up his tight little ass. He then goes off to do whatever I’ve told him to do while I relax. After he’s done I may or may not inspect his work, if he did a good job then he may get a reward. His reward may be the privilege of kissing my asshole for example. If its not up to par he may get punished. This can be implemented immediately, or added to a play session later. If you are going to go this route though, I would suggest using punishments he really wants to avoid (extended chastity time, severe spankings, etc.) or else you may find him purposefully messing up in order to get some “punishment” he wants.

This applies to any chore we need completed. My laundry, dishes, car washes, lawn mowing (its funny seeing him on a riding mower when I know there’s a plug up his ass), cooking, etc.

Personal Service. These are generally intimate things that I want done for me. They can really play up the tease element as well. Some examples: 

Shave me. In the shower or bath, I like to have him shave my legs and pussy.

Toenails/pedicure. I pick the color, then he massages, moisturizes my feet. Then polishes my nails for me. He’s also responsible for removing any old polish from my nails. 

Massage. Sometimes just a shoulder rub, other times I’ll be nude and he is required to give me a full body massage with oil. I like for him to be nude for this as well. It’s really torture for him to give me a few orgasms afterwards and stay denied. 

Body worship. It can be really relaxing to have him kiss and nuzzle my thighs, feet nipples, and pussy. I especially enjoy having my asshole worshiped though. Just light kisses, licks and nuzzles. Basically he’s making out with my asshole. It’s a serious power trip to have him do this while I watch TV or play games on my phone, ignoring him except to give instructions if I want something done differently.

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER

I’ve outlined several ideas and topics here, and now I’ll give an example on how I’ve put all of it together. Remember when reading this, its all in fun, and it doesn’t necessarily have to make a lot of sense. Remember, if your guy is into femdom, he likes a lot of this kind of stuff already.

I like to choose something from each category when we play, just to round out the session. Not always, but frequently.

For one session I decided we were going to do some pegging, so before I got home I told him to get himself cleaned up, naked, and get a plug in. I got home about an hour later, so he’d been stretched out for a little while. I got home, grabbed him by the hair and dragged him into the garage. I told him to get on all fours in the middle of the floor and wait. He waited there for 20 minutes. I know he was scared, he’d never been fucked on the garage floor before. It wasn’t clean, and he was completely naked except for the plug in his ass.

I came in turned all the lights on and started taking pictures. I was already wearing the strapon. I made him smile for the camera, and pose for me. It looked like a really trashy photoshoot. I took several pictures in varioius positions and then I told him it was time to get busy.

I lubed up my cock, slowly pulled out the plug and got to work. I fucked him on the floor of the garage for about 5 minutes, eventually really pounding him. I pulled him up by his hair, bent him over the hood of my car and pounded some more. I insisted he fake an orgasm like a girl. It was reallly funny listening him attempt to moan and scream like a woman orgasming.

Once he was done, I pulled him around by the hair and spit directly into his face. I told him that was the worst fuck I’d ever had and told him to “go clean my fucking bathroom”. He stared at me dumbfounded, so I slapped him hard in his face and repeated it louder. He quickly scurried off to the master bath. About 5 minutes later I came in and threw the strapon and butt plug on the floor and told him to clean up my toys as well. When he came and reported that he was done, I went to inspect his work. It was spotless.

So I told him to get himself cleaned up and ready for bed. As a reward I let him go down on me for a while and then use my vibrator to give me an orgasm. He didn’t get to cum that night. (but we did cuddle and watch a movie)

There are many more ways you can mix and match categories, and many of them run together. For example, you can facefuck your man with your strapon, while you rub his dick. Once you’re satisfied he’s learned how to deepthroat, pull him off and make him beg for the privilege of masturbating in your presence. You can record this on video if you like, then, make him eat his own cum on video. The possibilities are endless! Again, I know a lot of this isn’t “authentic” if you’re doing it for your submissive partner, but that doesn’t really matter to me. What matters is that we’re having fun, and I get what I need out of it too.

1:  You  need to get into his head.

-Learn his fantasies and what turns him on.  Use this information against him and to Your advantage.

-Find out what humiliates him, and to what level.

-Make him show his loyalty to You regularly.  Reward him, even if it’s just with positive attention when he does.

- Aside from family, close friends and work, give him 0% privacy.  Don’t hide this process from him, make him partake in handing it over to you in ways that demonstrate how he is “losing the privacy.”  

-Make him need You for everything.  Point out how You help him, how You guide him, and how You accept the negative things about him that others may not.

- Hypnosis, especially while they are sleeping can help transfer messages, ideas and ideals about You deep into their faggot head.

2:  Punish him often for everything, no exceptions!

- Don’t let him get away with anything!  When You let your sub get away with something. You are telling him that You don’t care for him and that what he did was ok.

- You can Spank, paddle, or whip him.

- Humiliate him past what is easy for him.

- Long term bondage

- Corner time

- Food restrictions

- Writing standards/lines\

- Write a book report or essay.

- Ground him/take away privileges.

- Wash his mouth out with soap.

- Make him do anything he hates.

- Get creative and make the punishment match the crime.

- Never use separation or the threat of leaving/ending Your control over him as a punishment.  That is counterproductive to the end goal (trust and service) and is detrimental to the faggot.

3:  Routinely discipline him.  This is different than punishment.

- Spank him once a week, just because You can, not too hard, not too soft.

-Humiliate him often.

- 5-10 minuets of corner time a day can do wonders for him, like a sub’s meditation.

- If he is stressed, give him a break and put him in some comfy bondage for a while.  You may or may not want to integrate impact play with this.  For lots of subs, some pain can really help elevate their mode for the rest of the day or longer.

- Routine discipline will save You time and energy in the long run.  You will have to punish him less as a result.

- Taking care of You can be part of his discipline.  Have him do Your laundry, cleaning, etc.

4:  On some level, even if it’s small, keep Your sub horny for You.

- Talk sexy to him.

-Sexualize non sexual things/activities You are interested in. He will see whatever it is You’ve sexualized as such and be more interested/eager to engage.

- Have Your sub do some or all of Your body grooming. This can be Your baths, Your nails, shaving, trimming, waxing, etc.

- Scare him by telling him when and what You’re going to do to him in the near future.

- Send him text messages with orders to do something sexual.

- Make him give You orgasms.  This is different from sex.  This is a service.

- Let him rest on You to smell You as You watch TV or read.

- Give him underwear/items of Yours to smell as he sleeps.

- Hypnosis, especially while Your sub sleeps can help with this too.

5:  Control Your own feelings of guilt.

-      Your sub needs You to be strong “with” him.  You may show vulnerabilities in Yourself for other aspects of Your life. When it comes to him and Your control over him, be firm!

-      Some meanness and cruelty will be needed from time to time to help break Your sub down.

-      Your sub may not want everything You give him/ do to him, but he needs it.

-      Letting Your sub get away with insubordinate behavior because You feel guilty adequately and severely addressing it is weak.  You need to control that shit.

-      Sub faggots need a real man who is close to them to guide them.  Sometimes real men need to show the fag that they are inferior.  This can’t always be done by talking.  And if it is done my talking, the talking can’t be politically correct/kind.

-      Humiliation/breaking him down, teaching him to serve long term, these are all things he needs.  You are filling his needs.

-      Remember, You both need to be happy.  But happiness comes from different places for different people.  If there is communication, and Your sub has communicated that he needs this life to be happy, then You are doing him a service and loving him by breaking him down and controlling him.

-      A good sub is hard to find. Don’t let the guilt of giving him what he needs stop You from doing so. What he needs may be overwhelming for him and he may break. If he does be there for him.

6: Humiliate/degrade/break him down on some level daily, some days more than others.

- Have him wear a small butt-plug for a time, wifi enabled if possible.

- Have him be naked or close to it, around You and or Your friends.

- Make him wear a collar or other symbol of inferiority.

- Make him wear a chastity device sometimes.

- Teach them “tricks” like sit, drop to their knees to kiss Your crotch, etc.  In public or with friends randomly call out a trick every now then. Make sure Your sub does this flawlessly without hesitation.

- Make him masturbate for You.

- Slap him in the face.

- Spit on him.

- Treat him as an inferior in public.  (Ex: he carries all bags, opens doors, eats Your leftovers, holds Your drinks, tie Your shoes  etc.)

- Make him eat his own cum sometimes.

- Talk down to him in front of others

7: Rearrange his life/time to better serve/please You.  Make sure this does not interfere with his time with loved ones or work.

- If You want to change his body to Your liking, do so.  Control his workouts, diet etc.  Make sure and be realistic with this one.

- Make sure he is available during some of Your leisure time each week so he will be able to serve You during those times.

- Put him on a sleeping schedule.  Lots of fags are not able to adequately manage their sleep times.  The better rested he is, the better he will serve You.

- Go through his closet/things and throw away/put away any clothing You don’t like him to be wearing.

- Sign him up to learn new tasks or prefect tasks/skills that will help You.  (Ex: massage classes, cooking classes, pet care, etc.)

- Change their grooming habits to Your liking.

8: Help Your sub be grateful for everything he has.  Make sure You are at the top of that list.  One great way to do this is to deny him things.  Yep, it’s time to say “No.”  Subs need boundaries, and saying “No” is a great way to help them with those boundaries.

- You can take away certain foods, comforts, leisure time, sex, masturbation, etc.

- Make him show his gratitude to You often.  Faggots will show this to You in their own way. Most faggots will need some help/instruction on exactly how to show their gratitude to You.

- Make him explain why he deserves something. If he can’t explain why well enough. Then take it from him.

- You can take things/items from him that You know he does not need, but likes.  (Make sure he can afford for You to take them and that they are not of an additional value such as sentimental etc.)  Let him know from time to time that You enjoy something that You took from him.

- Offer him a reward of getting to have something back. Make what you give him back relevant to what You make him do. This could be sort or long term.  

9:  None of these actions will work without real trust.

- If Your sub is Your partner, let him know how much his sub-ass completes You and Your power.

-  If Your sub is not Your partner, make sure You two are real friends. That You appreciate how his inferiority completes you.  The more You two know about and do with each other. The more thoroughly You can control him.

-Part of trust on the subs part is trusting that You will follow through when You say You are going to do something to him or are going to make him do something.  Follow through always.

-  When a sub fully trusts You. He can submit to You his mind and privacy. Letting You go in and re-arrange/manage his life.

- Subs need constant reassurance.  Let him know that no matter what, he is Yours.  If a serious sub feels disposable. He will look for another Dom who appreciates his surrender.

- If Your life is getting too hard for a bit or You need help with something. Trust that Your sub will be able to take over for You and act in your best interest until You are back in shape.  Giving  sub this responsibility will either make him feel trusted and good, or upset that You are not actively controlling him 100% of the time.  If he gets upset and does not step up and take over for You. Then drop him like a hot potato.

-Talk to Your sub often.  Ask him how he is feeling, and let him honestly know how You are feeling on anything and everything.

- By taking things away from him, You are in a sense rewarding him when You give them back.  Also, nothing he has is his forever.  You need to re-take things and privileges away from him periodically so he knows they are a privilege and not a right.  Think of it like taking a food bowl away from a dog.  Your sub needs be docile enough that You can take his food bowl away from him as he is eating. He will not make a fuss and patiently wait until the food is returned

-Please note: Do not ever deny him from being with Friends or family.  Make him realize that the only reason You allow him to have constant contact/interaction with good friends and family is because he “helps” them by being a good friend or family member.  Make sure the he understands that the happiness that comes from being with them is “second” to the happiness that he brings them.  Basically, he needs to understand that if he pulls away from loved ones. While he is under Your control his loved ones will suffer. That is why he is allowed (and encouraged) to keep and/or strengthen the bonds he has with them.