suibian

All credit to these pictures go to Lory. The photos can be found on their Twitter: @ loriladeakali

The stars aligned and this year both boys were able to attend JIB which means we got a j2 panel! 🙌

There was a cute and funny moment at the beginning of the panel because Jared went to give Jensen a fist bump but he didn't notice and I guess Jared told him and he cracked up laughing and then they fist bumped. Jared shares that their flight got delayed, and that morning he was signing something and a fan asked him how he was and he replied that he was good that he actually felt awake even though he didn't look it and she just went "oh, i know. your face" 😆 To be fair, both of them do look and sound tired.

Also, you'll notice both are wearing Gucci jackets, they were a gift to them and M from Daniela the organizer of this event.

Jumping into the questions, first one up is: Has there ever been a moment on set where they had to overcome their, or one of, their greatest fears to shoot the scene? For Jared the thing that comes to mind is French Mistake. He says it's one of the most nervous times he's been on the spn set due to all the comedic stuff. He didn't feel comfortable doing comedy as Sam, so he would get really nervous when Sam had to be funny because he was like "Sam’s not really funny he’s kind of just chill". He got really nervous shooting some of the comedic scenes but that otherwise it was pretty fun even the stunt stuff. 

Jensen agress and says he doesn’t think there was ever a greatest fear moment while they were filming spn. That they’re doing network tv which is pretty tame in the world of television and they don’t really write stuff that he thinks would be too out of their comfort zone, and after a few seasons the writers knew what their comfort zone was and kind of played in that and utilized it. He was more uncomfortable doing stuff in The boys.

Jared says he looked comfortable, and Jensen replies "it’s called acting dear boy. I was not comfortable". He says that he was very nervous in a few of those scenes, so much so that he called his mom and told her she'd want to skip the show, that she was not the target audience.

Jared asks him if he has ever shared the story about him calling Kripke and saying he was unsure about some things. He has. Jensen says there were a few scenes he was asked to do that he didn't know he had a line but Kripke found it and Jensen couldn't cross it, he has children who may grow up and see this. Says he thinks there was supposed to be more revealed when Soldier Boy was revealed for the first time and there was supposed to be a little bit more intimacy when Soldier Boy had his fun with the ladies. And he once again shares about how his first day on set, the very first scene he had to film was stepping out of the capsule in front of his new cast and crew butt naked.

Jared makes a joke that he has some of the behind the scenes stuff and he’ll post it later and Jensen quips no pun intended 🤣 We know you do baby 😏

Jared also adds that the most nervous he ever got on the set of spn for another person was the scene where Sam gets hit by a car. It wasn’t him, and their stunts while not dangerous were intense but they felt they could take the hit or do whatever but when his stunt man Mike Carpenter did that scene, he had short hair so they put a bald cap on him and put like a thick liquid padding and then the Sam wig and that’s all he had covering his skull for getting hit by a car. And with this type of stunt there's no way to really control it like the way you land, you just have to try your best not to land on your skull. So they do it the first time, they're watching it wondering if he's gonna get up he does, then the second time his foot got caught on the bumber and he got dragged, and the third time he got up and usually stunt actors and actresses they can have like a broken bone and still say they're all good and ask if they need to do it again but this time he got up and said he was done.

Going back to The Boys, Jensen tells the story about how there's a scene where he picks up Karl Urban's character Butcher, throws him over his head and slams him into a desk, obviously this was done with a stunt guy who was wired up cause Jensen's supposed to be super strong flinging this dude over his body with one arm. So at the appex which is when he's right above Jensen's head, they let the wires lose and Jensen actually slammed him as hard as he could into the desk, they’re not slowing the guy down and the first time he did it Jensen was surprised and was like "omg are you okay???" The dude popped back up, said he was fine, to do it again to which Jensen was like ' I don't wanna' but they did and once Jensen got used to it he felt like a beast. x

What's the stupidest injury they’ve ever got on any set? Jared asks, "how much time you got?"

Jensen says they both have a list of these but the first that comes to mind he thinks it was Wendigo, when he was pulling the gun out of the back of the Impala- Jared corrects him this injury actually happened during Hook Man. Basically, he was grabbing a riffle and he pulled it from the center of the gun and the butt of it got caught on the edge of the trunk and the barrel came up and hit him on the eye, and split him open. He says it was pretty stupid and self inflected too so he has no one to blame but himself.

Jared tells the story of how when they filmed the scene where Leviathan!Sam and Dean rob the bank, they’re supposed to fire off some rounds to get everyone’s attention but his gun was too high so it was out of frame and couldn't be seen so he was asked to keep it lower so he did thing is this is a gun he had never shot before- Jensen says that if it had been a normal gun Jared would have been fine but that this one was a weird russian fully automatic machine gun. Anyways, they do the next take with Jared holding it lower and as he starts firing, something is hurting, he can immediately feel something is wrong so he stops and says he thinks he has to do something different and he looks over at Jensen who's kinda looking at him- Jared had managed to burn himself with the hot brass casings as they were ejecting so he had a bunch of ash burn marks, some of which were bleeding from the impact, across his face. Jared also mentions that it was happening so fast that if it had been a bit lower it would have gone right into his eyeball. Let's all be thankful that did not happen! But also, Jared, how are you going to say y'alls stunts weren't dangerous and then tell stories like this.

Also, right before he tells this story he tells Jensen that he's going to know right away where he's going with this and he's right because the moment he says Leviathan!Sam and Dean in the bank Jensen laughs and says this is one of his favorite Jared bonehead moves, and when Jared is telling the story Jensen says that what he loves is that Jared kept going even though he was being hit in the face. x

If they were to attend a con to meet people who would their dream guests to meet be? Jared says this question is similar to the question of if you could have dinner with somebody who would it be, and his initial response to that is are they going to be honest like if he met Obama or some other world leader would they tell him the truth or would they give him canned answers. He thinks he would probably go mostly to musicians, like Eddie Vedder, he thinks actors bore him cause he is one. He finds himself boring so he feels like the soundtrack of his life is what he would go to; Jensen agrees, he goes with musicians as well even though they don’t really do cons that's more an actor thing to do that being said he thinks Keanu Reeves is an interesting guy. He’s trying to think of who he would want to listen to answer questions and speak about things involved in the industry, he wouldn't mind listening to some of the Marvel cast like RDJ strictly for curiosity purposes not like 'omg Iron Man!' but because he thinks RDJ is an interesting fellow who as a lot of interesting things to say about topics he could related to so he would do it more out of curiosity. x

Would they talk about their tattoos?

Jensen says he hasn’t gotten anything new in a while the latest was a little thumb one he got with JDM. Basically they were at a friends (he doesn't mention her by name but Sophia Bush) wedding in Oklahoma and D and Hil were doing something with the bride which meant they had the afternoon free so naturally as one does with JDM you go for beer and tattoos. Jensen says Jared has gotten a few more than he has recently.

Jared replies there’s a few on the list he hasn’t gotten yet, but he has the basquiat crown with JDM and Jensen which they got at JDM's wedding, the day after spn finished he got one with his friend Bruce which is like a geometric design that when asked about what it is he jokes it’s an iphone update it didn't actually have a meaning it's just a random design that he liked how it looked, a star on his bicep, a "come and take it" kind of thing which he says is really cool because he thinks a month later after he got it come and take it become a women’s right thing in Texas, and he also has an homage to Dr. Seuss story Oh, the Places You'll Go! with a T for Tom, A for Austin which is Shep's name and a little moon for Odette.

They ask if the fan has any tattoos, she does, she has an AKF one and also one for the band A-ha who sing Take On Me and Jared comments he and Jensen have both tried and failed to do the high note from that song. I would love to have seen that. x

If they were to go to comic con and dress up, what would they dress up as? Jensen says his go to would be Red Hood and Batman since he already has those costumes, but the fan says besides those and as he's thinking Jared says Bullwinkle 😂 And Jensen laughs and says, yeah, Rocky and Bullwinkle. I would pay money to see them dress up as Rocky and Bullwinkle 🤣

Jared also says Boba fett, he’d like something with a mask cause he’d like the experience of being around people who are passionate about stuff and not have it be flavored by like "aren’t you that guy who was on Gilmore Girls?” Jensen says he'd go as the screen character cause that just seems very comfortable.  x

What has made them remain best friends for so long? The boys joke, Jared saying it's been way too long and Jensen saying that for the most part it’s been contractual 😂

Jared says it's never been bullshit. Since day one they’ve gotten along and the why? Who knows. They have a similar up bringing and background and likes and dislikes and he thinks primarily it's that they got to see each other during their highs and lows. They went through a lot, 15yrs is kindergarten through college and he saw Jensen and what he was going through more than any other human being on the planet and vice versa Jensen saw Jared and what he was going through, his good times, his bad times, everything in between and so you kind of get to really know the soul of somebody not just who they are at their best. You go to a set anywhere you'll probably enjoy most of the people for the first couple of hours, then they get tired or they've had a bad day and they're an asshole or a jerk but he thinks for them it was just like 'hey, you all right?' That it's like they've known each other since birth even though they've actually known each other less than 20yrs. They kind of had a fastforwarded into the fire and they had each other's back and he guesses that's why, that he wishes he knew. Jared, my darling, you just described soulmates! That person who from the moment you meet you feel like you've known them your whole life with whom you have a connection and a bond that you can't explain- that's your soulmate! 🥹

Jensen thinks there's also that SPN is the biggest thing that has happened to their careers so far, and arguably it's one of the biggest things that has happened to their lives, it's certainly changed both their lives from pre-SPN to now and to have another person understand the multitude of levels on how that changed your life to the degree in which he and Jared know each other he thinks it kind of bonds you in a way that's really indescribable. Nobody understands what his life has been like for the past almost 2 decades more than Jared does because he was pretty much right next to him the whole time and he was also going through the same stuff both personally and professionally that Jensen was going through and that really bonds people in a way that's really indescribable. And that it's a good thing they got along and that they laugh at the same jokes, and like the same music, and cheer for the same sports teams that there's just a lot in common thankfully so when they were put in that situation where they were gonna be side by side for as long as they were it was really easy and enjoyable.

Jared also comments that he thinks in general, not just with working relationships or friendships, but with romantic relationships as well or family relationships he thinks it's extremely important to be able to tell somebody when something hurt you or bothered you, and vice versa to listen when someone goes like 'hey, this happened and it felt off base or it didn't feel cool' and for that person to listen cause if you're really good friends with anybody or are close with anybody you'll have disagreeements and you'll go 'well, here's where I'm coming from, help me to understand where you're coming from' and you'll listen and be like 'got it, let's move forward. ' So it's important just with anybody that you care about to shoot straight. x

A big part of acting is dealing with rejection how do they both deal with keeping motivation in trying to act when getting rejected? Jared says this reminds him of a story of when he was still on Gilmore Girls.

He was auditioning like half a dozen times a week for other projects, and he had bought a house in the valley in LA, and a friend of his then girlfriend came over for like a housewarming party and he was showing her around and by his bed in his bedroom he had a stack of 12 or 15 scripts all stuff he was reading and hoping to get an audition for, and she looked over and asked if those were all the auditions he'd been on, Jared kind of laughed and told her to follow him and walked her over to the garage where he had cardboard boxes full of scripts. He had 300 to 400 scripts of auditions he had been on in the past 3 to 4 years.

He thinks the way he deal with rejection now is to treat auditions or meetings as maybe it’s my performance, maybe this is my chance to play this character and also now that he and Jensen have been on the producing side he realizes how silly casting sometimes gets, there can be 5 people who do an amazing job but they're going to be acting with a brunette and they don't want them to look to similar so they decide to go with a blonde or vice versa, or someone is 5'11 and that's too tall to play a 14 year old because they'll be acting with someone whose 5'3 so it comes down to random things. And that's helped a little bit, seeing the vagaries of casting and subtle nuances that don't even really make sense so he tries to go 'all right, I do my best and if that's the last time I get to play the character then so be it'. (sidenote: Jared pulling out the fancy words, first time in my life hearing the word vagaries)

Jensen says he thinks as one gets older your way of dealing with rejection changes. He and Jared have had really great succes so far in their lives and in their career so when there's rejection now he thinks they can both stand firm on the fact that they've been validated by a multitude of people and their career reflects that so that if somebody says 'no, we don't want you for that role' or 'no, we don't like that idea for a show that you're pitching' they'd be like okay, maybe it's not the right time, maybe they just don't see that vision, maybe they're looking for something else- at this point he quips that maybe they want somebody that's not so oddly tall and Jared quips back or oddly bowlegged 😆 But also that as Jared said knowing what they know about being on the other side of it has really kind of drawn the curtain back and see how a lot of times how ridiculous this process can be in getting to that final stage. So, he thinks they deal with it a little differently now. That early on, when they didn't have that affirmation to kind of rely on it was just thick skin, you had to develop thick skin, somebody says you're not good enough you had to know in your heart that you were good enough and that person just didn't see it. x

Last question, what does Dean mean to Jared and what does Sam mean to Jensen? Jared starts to answer that now, after a couple of years of spn being over cause it's been around two and a half years since they finished filming and I guess the fan thought Jared was throwing an indirect about asking this question after spn has been over for a while so they say it's because this question was prepared a long time ago, and Jared has to clarify that's not what he meant- it was actually a little funny, the fan didn't say it in a rude way or anything like that more like a clarification.

But anyways, Jared says he has more hindsight now and that he'd rather answer this question now than 2 or 3 years ago so where he stands now it's difficult for him to try and differentiate what Dean meant and what Jensen meant all he can say is that he learned a lot from both and a lot of the reason he's the man that he is and the actor he is is because he spent 15yrs looking at Jensen and then they're calling action and he was looking at Dean so it's hard to kind of really parse out exactly what he got- says he got his dad voice from Dean to which Jensen says that so has he, Jared continues saying he learned every step of the way and he thinks it was really exciting. That a lot of what he really liked about Dean was his keep going attitude and that's very similar to Jensen kind of like 'yeah, this sucks but we gotta get through it' or 'all right, we're tired it's 16hrs, it's 4am, it's raining or freezing in Vand and we have to do a fight scene but all right it ain't gonna do itself let's go do it' so that kind of evoked something in him.

Jensen concurs that it's the same for him but also that he knows Sam is a part of Jared, that Sam resides in Jared's personality so getting to see as many times as he did Jared bring that element of himself forward and then take on the embodiment of Sam was like getting to see a specific micro aspect of Jared and how he can mold that and play with that and tell the story using that and he's always thought that he was very gifted in doing so and now he's doing it with another character. He thinks he and Jared, because they weren't classically trained as actors and didn't have any formal training to speak of at all they had to learn to use what they knew and that's essentially themselves, Dean is certainly a part of his personality that is exaggerated, Sam is also a part of Jared's personality that is exaggerated so they got to play this kind of exagerated versions of themselves with each other and then they'd yell cut and they'd go back to being themselves so he really feels it's just part of the package that he got with Jared and he'll forever be grateful for that and he looks forward to the next time he gets to see him morph into Sam. Those are lovely answers 💕

Anyways, I wanted to ask a bit of clarification regarding this:

"Like Dean, Jensen is more codependent on Jared than the other way.  I think when Jensen has a few more successful gigs he'll be less hung up on proving he's good enough for Jared."

Especially in view of how Jensen was saying in SPNCHI yesterday that although he has found a partner in crime in TB (urban), Jared does not have one on Walker which shows 1. how he always tries to prove he is the best for Jared 2. that you read them very well and you are indeed a weird prophet! 3. that this is high school BS anyway at middle age. To put it simply: In your opinion why does a 44 year old successful man has this need to prove himself to his friend? They now know each other for almost 20 years, why not to settle into the confidence and comfort a friendship like this affords? Does the co-dependency is good enough an explanation? I would value your take on this, if you could go a bit deeper.

PS my closest friends have been my friends since we were very little (> 35 years) and my experience is very different, the whole thing just baffles me.

I watched the SPNCHI clip you referenced, and Jared was quick to jump in that he is good friends with the Walker cast even if some are deferential to him due to his status. Jared is good at reading the room and knows when people are bristling.

Before answering your question, I’m guessing you and your long-time friend are probably not competing for the same thing, and there is no scarcity, like jobs, and you’re both females.

I sometimes think females forget how naturally competitive males are, even between friends.   Men go through the competition phase with each other in order to determine hierarchy and once that's established, then they "reconcile" and move into the cooperate phase because they instinctively know that together they have to protect their group that has women and children.  If the men in the group continue to compete with each other then the enemy could sneak in and kill them and kill/kidnap the women and children.  Both Top Gun movies show this and why Top Gun is actually about a love story between Maverick and Iceman; they went from competitors to cooperators in order to serve and protect their country, and become very loyal friends until death.  Iceman protected Maverick's career because he knows America needs human pilots to protect her and her children/civilians.

Most people are going to struggle with finding the right balance between competition and cooperation, especially when situations change and create dynamic instability.  Scarcity, sociability and dynamic instability are the 3 forces that feed the shifting competitive/cooperative phase.  Think of how siblings can be incredibly collaborative and be the best of friends, but at the same time have intense sibling rivalry because they're competing for parent's attention.  This can change quickly, dynamically as the family structure changes.  

Compounding all of this is the codependent nature that compels Taker to not only compete with their Giver, but they're also compete for the Giver.  A commentator in Captain Awkward blog recounted the time her roommate/best friend would seduce and have sex with the commentator's platonic male friends and then dump them, which gives her the excuse to ban them from the apartment, thus preventing the male friends from visiting the commentator. I think the Taker in this scenario was worried that she either wouldn't stack up against the male friends, or the commentator will fall in love with one of the male friends and leave, or both.  In the early days of the fandom there was a believable rumor that Jensen chased off Sandy, Jared's girlfriend and then fiance.  Personally I thought Sandy loved Jared's family more than she loved Jared so it may have been a good thing that Jensen chased her off.  

One of the reasons "frenemies" is more common among women is because they go from competition to cooperation and back to competition.  I think this is okay for women but not okay for men for reasons stated above.  

We believed that straight people hate and hurt us because they don’t know us. If we could have visibility, they would realize that we are fine and would accept us. This theory has been disproven by history.”]

Much of my research had stated that people with PTSD had shrunken prefrontal cortices—that experiencing triggers often shut down the logical centers of our brains and left us irrational and incapable of complex thought. But Siegle told me he’d discovered that research to be flawed. He’d found that for many people with complex PTSD, the exact opposite was happening. In moments of intense stress and trauma, our prefrontal cortices were actually far more active.

Normally, if you’re facing a threat, your body immediately reacts to it. Your heart starts pumping blood. The hair on the back of your neck stands up. This is all in service of getting blood to your legs so you can run the hell away from it. On top of this, you feel your heart beating faster. You recognize that you’re freaking out. That makes you even more anxious, and your heart beats even faster.

But Siegle told me, “As far as we can tell with complex PTSD, in really stressful situations, you’ve got this coping skill that allows the prefrontal cortex to just shut off some of our evolutionary freak-out mechanisms and instead have high levels of prefrontal activity. So our bodies stop reacting.”

In other words, in some moments of intense stress, we are super-duper good at dissociation. Our hearts don’t pump as hard. Our brains cut themselves off from our bodies, so we don’t really have that feedback loop of getting anxious about getting anxious. Instead, our prefrontal cortices blink online—we become hyperrational. Super focused. Calm.

Siegle explained it this way: “If running away has never been an option for you, you have to be cunning and do other things. So it’s like, this is time to bring all of our resources online, because we’re going to survive this.”

People with C-PTSD might have an outsized, gnarly freak-out about a cockroach in the house or a flash of anger on someone’s face. But in times of real danger—when someone furious is coming toward us with an actual machete in their hand, ready to kill—we face the problem head-on, while everyone else is cowering. A lot of the time, we’re the ones getting shit done.”]

Exactly. The damage is done. I hope Jensen thinks it was worth it. As for Jared, of course it's up to him to decide if he wants to forgive and forget and move on. Doesn't mean I still can't be upset and unwilling to be as gracious.

I get him doing damage control, and yes, sending direct hate isn't right, but I wish sometimes he'd say a bit less, and let people react how they want to.

J2's relationship isn't my business. What Jensen has done to the legacy of my favourite show very much is.

Thank you for sharing, anon. I think everything, including this statement, sums up how a lot of people feel: "J2's relationship isn't my business. What Jensen has done to the legacy of my favourite show very much is."

I Don't Know How To Tell You That For Hundreds Of Years Marrying Well Was Literally Women's Job. Like not just their duty but their livelihood. your parents weren't going to be able to support you forever you couldn't inherit property directly you were unlikely to be able to find adequate work outside the home. If you wanted to move on from being fully dependent on your parents and start putting money and value back into your family, you needed to marry well.

Men were the only respectable source of income and status for women and marrying up and committing yourself to finding a good match who will improve your family's standing and status in that context is not shallowness or greed as much as it's a good work ethic. because like. it WAS work. often as much of a full time job as middle and upper class men had.

and like that's not to say that marrying for love is Bad or Didn't Happen very clearly it did. but it's not about being more moral than those around you - like having sex outside of marriage or leaving an abusive husband, it's about being potentially put in the difficult position of choosing between your economic and material safety and your emotional needs. you might marry badly because you love someone, just as you might now take an unstable poorly paid job because you're more passionate about it than the high-flying role you're in. but it wouldn't be morally bad for someone to choose a well-paid job they don't enjoy over poverty, nor to try and get well paid jobs they're qualified for instead of going OOH I HOPE I FIND A MINIMUM WAGE JOB THAT I'M PASSIONATE ABOUT.

and good for her but you know what those other girls probably have opinions and thoughts and a desire for fun too. but right now they're working, and as anyone who's worked a service job knows that means you have to pin down any negative feelings or frustrations and say and do the right things and smile.

like courtship and these kinds of things, like being presented at balls, is somewhere between customer service and an interview. your job is to market yourself as a good candidate. you've got to be On and performing the whole evening because that's literally the point of you being there and of the ball happening in the first place. A ball is the marriage equivalent of a jobs fair or a series of interviews.

and you know what I'd be pretty frustrated if I went to a job interview and I did my research and prepped a full presentation and kept myself calm and gave a really careful measured performance even though the person interviewing me kept ignoring or being rude to me. and I had a rotten time but it was a really good job opportunity. and then somebody came into the waiting room drank all the coffee stuffed 20 biscuits in their mouth and told the interviewer the company sucked and she didn't even want the job she was just there for the biscuits. and then the interviewer was like THAT'S HER THAT'S THE PERFECT CANDIDATE SHE'S SO FREE.

very good point being made that if it's a job interview it's an interview for Probably The Only Job You Will Ever Have and picking a bad job is way worse when there's no real option for retirement or switching jobs (divorce being really disgraceful) so you REALLY need it to go well when it's for a good job

I think love, companionship and mutual respect can and did flourish in these types of marriages. it's just that love isn't the primary purpose. extending the jobs metaphor like you spend a lot of time with your colleagues and you get very close to them. if you Really Don't Get On like you meet the boss at interview and you're like Wow I Physically Could Not Get Through A Day Without Wanting To Murder You or if the job is something you just can't bear you're probably not going to take it unless you're in dire straits. also a lot of marriages are both. they're sort of a business pitch. you and this guy really like each other so you have to put together a little pitch package for your families on how this could be viable.

“He convinced few people” Negative connotation; he did not convince that many people.

“He convinced a few people” Neutral to positive connotation; he did manage to convince some people.

“They found a little food” “Neutral to positive connotation; it might not be a lot, but they did manage to find some food.

people have tried to create a peaceful, oppression-free society before, but it turns out that’s really hard.

The reasons it’s really hard are almost entirely practical and many of them are the boring and logistical sort of practical.

(there are definitely things some people sometimes ARE trying to hide from you, and that was even more true in the pre-Internet days when it was easier. I’m not saying it never happens. but it’s not always the reason)

if your teacher is trying to cover all of...I don’t know, Modern European History(TM), they might not have time- between wars and economic crises that impacted the fate of nations -to get into Virginia Woolf’s gay love letters. that doesn’t mean they’re ~hiding her as part of a homophobic conspiracy~. it just means they have a lot to cram into like six months to give teenagers some vague understanding of the events that shaped our society

I see a lot of people on here like “why didn’t I learn about [historical figure who is important in the history of an oppressed group but didn’t have a huge impact on the Big Picture of the world] in school?” and other people responding “you know why...” and like