Shay

New headcanon: Ilya inherited his curly hair from his mom. Grigori loved his wife’s curls, except when they got messy because she was too depressed to take care of them. And when Ilyusha was little, Grigori loved that he had Irina’s hair. Would joke that Alexei looked just like him and Ilyusha looked just like her.

As Ilyusha got older and became Ilya, though, his curls being naturally messy was just another example of his general indiscipline and weakness. Ilya was the spitting image of his mother not just in his hair, but also in his fragile mental health. Deep down Grigori was terrified Ilya would copy his mother’s example and kill himself. He couldn’t stand to lose both of them.

So Grigori decided he had to make the boy strong. Not weak like his mother, not another loved one Grigori would lose to suicide. Insisting Ilya always tame his curly hair in public was just one of the ways in which Grigori tried to toughen this sensitive kid up.

In a similar vein, I would like to add my personal hc that part of Grigori’s scorched earth approach to maintaining a favorable public image is due to him equating social capitol with security. Although I am by no means an expert on Russian or Soviet history, I am aware that the fall of the Soviet Union (only a couple years after Ilya was born) created a period of unrest for its (former) citizens. The effects of food shortages, power outages, and fracturing economic/social/political systems were unavoidable. However, one’s social positioning determined the extent to which it was felt.

No one was getting fresh meat, but maybe they could get canned meat if a politician that took a shine to Grigori tipped him off about an off books shipment. Maybe a housing minister was charmed by Irina at a party Grigori trotted her out for and made sure to let it slip that a nice apartment would be coming available soon (and no don’t worry about who used to live there, he wasn’t faithful to his country like we are). I think it’s conceivable that Grigori latched onto this as a means of protection for both himself and his family. “If we play our cards right and present just so, if the right people are pleased with us, we will be invited to opportunities and achieve Security” type beat. And that just never went away.

Additionally, Russian cops don’t exactly a make a lot of money, at least through official means, but may supplement their wages through accepting bribes. Having rich, important people like/trust him was literally putting money into Grigori’s pocket. Which of course just further reinforces the idea that social standing equates to security.

Under this framework, Irina’s depression and ultimate suicide have the potential to be ruinous for them all, because who would want to drink whiskey and smoke cigars or offer bribes to a man who’s wife did THAT. The lie he forces Ilya to tell is cruel but also, in this very specific framework, protective. Their family runs the risk of becoming social pariahs, and as such losing their middle class/ upper middle class lifestyles, if they don’t play their cards right.

This also carries over to Ilya and his Hockey career. Ilya cannot lose, cannot disappoint Russia, cannot show vulnerability or fear or laziness or any of the small deaths that harkened Irina’s calamity because any and all of those things would, at least in Grigori’s mind, damn them all.

It feels like you can’t make any point about Shane being a little clueless without everyone jumping down your throat about how:

1. he’s autistic so therefore he missed certain things (call me crazy but I don’t think that should be an excuse for being unable to see how much work your partner is putting into your relationship)

2. Shane was dealing with his own mental health but everyone ignores that (again, call me crazy but I don’t think that excuses his actions. If Ilya’s actions can’t be excused by his mental health then neither can Shane’s. TLG is largely about Ilya since he’s the one that changed his whole life. Shane gets his own sections in the book since he’s still a main character but Ilya is the one who’s going through a transformative period. That literally how books work)

3. Ilya was bad at communicating. (Yes, he was bad at communicating. Due to multiple factors not limited to English not being his first language, his own insecurities, and just not knowing how to bring things up. I feel like this is where a majority of the fandom looses me because communicating is a two way street. Yes, Ilya is bad at it but so is Shane. Yes, Shane told him to go to therapy but other than that how did he support Ilya? And don’t say he can’t support Ilya since he doesn’t know what’s going on. If he knows Ilya needs therapy than he knows Ilya needs support even if he can’t name why. A crucial issue with Shane is he only wants to fix not support a majority of the time. Ilya should have still communicated what he was feeling but how many times can someone try before rejection gets too much. Shane’s reaction to Ilya coming out to Troy, Shane’s reaction to Ilya asking him to Bood’s party, countless more I’m sure)

4. Ilya should know that Shane needs time (sue me but I think Shane needs to get over himself sometimes. Yes Montreal are homophobic pieces of shits but that shouldn’t limit the way he allows his boyfriend to interact with people. Yes they agreed to not come out as a couple until they retired but they did agree to take baby steps in the meantime and in TLG it’s evident that even though it’s been three years Shane has kept a very tight lease on what they are allowed to do and say. Shane came out to his team and it didn’t go well but as an adult I feel like he should be able to trust Ilya’s judgment and allow Ilya to come out to people on his own terms. Not as a couple but Ilya should be allowed to relive some of that weight)

Ilya spends a lot of time managing Shane’s reactions to things because that’s how their relationship works. I’m not saying that’s bad. But I am saying Ilya has lot more mental load towards their relationship at times since he has to manage how Shane reacts. He needs to have solutions otherwise Shane freaks out. He needs to have an immediate fix otherwise Shane spirals. By the end of the book this has changed as Shane and Ilya are in better places with themselves and each other but I feel like this is context many people are forgetting.

Lastly, I see people saying how they hope Shane’s character gets fixed from the books in season 2. What are you guys wanting fixed? Shane’s character arc literally includes him becoming more aware of his own actions and biases. Shane is not purposefully an asshole but I feel like people forget that he canonically is a bit of an asshole, and blunt, and a little egotistical. He doesn’t display these parts of himself often but they are there. If we get rid of these instances then

1. His character arc is useless and unfulfilling

2. He never gets a chance to grow

I believe part of this is people just wanting Ilya to be portrayed as an asshole who has no care for others around him

Sochi? You mean when Shane cornered Ilya and kept pushing despite Ilya saying multiple times that he doesn’t want to talk? You mean where Ilya asked him to please sit down? You mean where Ilya only lashed out when Shane started getting physically closer to him? Or do boundaries only matter when it’s Shane’s. This was in Russia. In 2014. Pardon how this comes across but Ilya could be as fucking blunt and rude as he wanted. Shane was ignorant even after being told that it wasn’t safe for LGBTQ people in Russia.

As for Vegas. What exactly did Ilya do? He went along as business usual during their hookup (they’re like fifth hookup by the way). Shane didn’t communicate anything to Ilya. Everyone likes to say Shane isn’t a mind reader but Ilya isn’t either. Is it from Ilya ghosting Shane? Shitty thing yes but perfectly reasonable in the context of what’s happening. Or is it only okay if it’s Shane doing the ghosting?

What really gets me about people like this is that they seem to forget entire scenes or forget where they are in their relationship. Shane was just as willing if not more so to keep things hidden.

I hate fics where Yuna takes over Ilya’s finances because he obviously 🙄 isn’t managing it well.

I think another family member/person Ilya loves taking over his finances or having control of his finances would be incredibly triggering. Doesn’t matter that it’s Yuna

I hate this idea that sex should be used as punishment. It shouldn’t. It’s an expression of love or intimacy or even just a fun thing to do and it shouldn’t be something that can be taken away like a toy. Sex, no matter if it’s casual or serious, is used for connection and I think doing this is bad practice. (My fic about this will be going up in a day or two 🤞)

Ilya is an elite athlete. He has discipline. He has control. I just think when you compare it to Shane (who has issues) Ilya looks like he’s not doing much. As a professional athlete I can tell you that yes Ilya would eat junk sometimes. Key word, sometimes. Hockey is incredibly physical. I know this man is measuring his quick carbs vs long carbs.

Not enough thought is put into the work Ilya does for his family. In one of the montages we see Ilya on the phone, going over medicine, and taking care of his father. This man obviously is keeping track of everything. Ilya is spending some of his free time talking with doctors, reading about treatment, etc.

obviously shane hired a travel agent to create The Optimum Vacation, but he also studied and approved everything and also has custody of all important documents just because it makes HIM feel better and in control

meanwhile ilya?? straight elevator music. where are they going? unclear. when's the flight? not his concern. how long are they staying? who's to say. where's his passport? his husband has both of theirs.

Nicole is working international passport control today. She likes it. Contrary to some of her colleagues, she’s not bothered by some of the people’s broken English or French, she enjoys the challenge. Besides, Nicole is a bit of a language nut, and she’s learning Spanish, Korean and Swedish on the evil owl app. Just the basics, of course, but enough to light up people’s faces when they’re greeted in their native language.

Currently she’s getting a lot of people from the 594 from Thailand and the 475 from Windhoek. There are also a few European flights but those are from Spain and Greece so it’s mostly returning Canadian tourists.

She finishes with a Thai student coming back from visiting his family and looks up to her next customer.

She manages to get out a professional “next” even though the man approaching her booth is wildly attractive. Like could be a movie star attractive. He’s tall and even through the black hoodie he’s wearing against the airport’s overly chilled air she can tell he’s broad-shouldered and built. He’s got a wild mop of honey-colored curls, messy from a long flight but still attractive, and just gorgeous features.

“Hello, sir,” she greets him and if she’s a little bit friendlier than usual, well. Nicole is only human and she might be married but she’s not blind.

He looks up from where he’s been fiddling around with his phone.

“Oh, hi.” There’s a slight accent to his voice that sounds eastern European.

His hand goes to his pocket and Nicole is always a little annoyed at people who don’t have their passport ready—because people know they have to show their passport, so why not be prepared instead of holding up the line?—when she watches his eyes go wide and mutter a curse under his breath. He keeps patting down his pockets and now Nicole really gets annoyed because how does anyone lose their passport between going through security at their starting destination and getting to their final destination?

“So, this is very embarrassing,” he says with a slightly embarrassed smile that’s still charming, “and I am very sorry, but I think my husband has my passport.”

Nicole looks behind him but there’s no husband, just two young women standing next in line.

The guy makes a face. “Ah no, he is Canadian citizen, so he probably already is through customs.”

Well, things were really going too smoothly. Nicole tries hard not to roll her eyes because the man in front of her looks honestly chagrined.

“Okay,” Nicole says, going into problem solving mode. “If you can call him to come to the passport control exit, we can arrange for someone to bring your passport. I can’t let you through without it.”

He nods quickly. “Of course. I will call him.”

He puts his phone to his ear and even from where Nicole is sitting she can hear the automated voice announce that the person he is trying to call is not available.

“Blyat,” the guy says again. He adds a “fuck” for good measure. “Okay, maybe you can call for him on the announcement thingy?” The guy says. “His name is Shane.” He cringes a bit. “Hollander.”

Nicole stares at him.

Nicole isn’t really into hockey, but she is still Canadian and Shane Hollander is something like Canadian hockey Jesus. He brought the Cup back to Canada, to Montreal specifically, after a sixteen year drought, three, no four different times now, and his admittedly very pretty face is on every billboard. It was a whole thing when he left Montreal a year ago, after he famously got outed and then got married to his husband, Russian rival hockey player Roza-something.

Who must be the guy standing in front of her now.

Nicole can’t stop staring. Her friend Shannon got Ryan Gosling twice already, which is just unfair. Nicole’s never had someone actually famous come through her booth. Certainly not someone whose husband all of her cousins venerate like a saint.

“I know, I know,” Russian hockey player Roza-something says quickly, “Sounds insane but look.”

He does something on his phone, then holds it up to her. The Google search bar reads Shane Hollander husband and there are pictures of Shane Hollander with the guy currently standing in front of Nicole. Google informs her that his name is Ilya Rozanov.

“Okay, Mr. Rozanov,” Nicole starts, aiming for professional as if it’s completely normal to deal with a passport mix-up for the most famous couple in hockey, and doesn’t get further, because behind her there’s a really loud, “Holy shit Ilya Rozanov!”

Contrary to Nicole’s lukewarm interest in hockey, her colleague Dave is an absolute hockey fan. He has a Montreal Metros mug at his station.

Rozanov looks up. “Yes,” he says pleased. “That’s me.”

You can usually find books on witchcraft, yes, but there’s also field guides on local foraging and wildlife, cookbooks, books that teach you how to craft and DIY, books about environmental protection and stewardship, books on how to use herbs medicinally, books about other religions, cultures, and spiritual practices. My favorite local library even has a seed swapping program and fantastic resources to research your own family history!

the way that people frame it as if him choosing shane means he’s not attracted to women anymore, or that he’s not attracted to anyone except shane anymore

the way people act like it would’ve been so easy for him to just choose to end up with a woman instead as if the only thing a bisexual person could possibly care about in a partner is 1. can i fuck them 2. can i avoid homophobia

the way people pathologise his history of casual sex to try and make out like it wasn’t his choice and it was never something he actually enjoyed

the way ilya being with women/talking to shane about women during the situationship is seen as inherently more slutty and fuckboy-esque than if he’d done the same but with men

the way people act that him choosing shane is proof that he’s actually gay bc no bisexual man would ever choose a man as their long term partner. the way people act like it’s a good thing bc thank god ilya isn’t one of those real bisexuals, the ones who cheat and lie and can never be satisfied with one partner and will always insist on forcing their partner into an open relationship or a threesome

the way ilya won’t read this shit but your bi friends will

The Ilya we see in Heated rivalry would not be throwing the first punch, he's not an enforcer. Ilya is a star center and a Pest. He wouldn't be doing his job correctly if he was punching players every other game, it would end up with not enough ice time to let him be the playmaker he's paid to be.

But being a pest can be playmaking! Find a player to bait, emotionally push them just enough that they try to fight you, and then get the fuck out of there before the ref gives you both penalties. This gets your team the power play. There is probably someone on Ilya's line dedicated to helping him get out of the fights he starts, and finishing them for him!

I also think this is also something that Shane would respect. Ilya is good at it and it's a good strategy for his team. I don't think Shane would see it as some dirty tactic, because Shane probably thinks everyone with a brain can see it for what it is! He probably thinks everyone should be able to see that being an asshole is a tactic for Ilya, that it's something to ignore and not fall for, that it's a strategy and not personal beef.

what they didn’t expect, however, was shane inventing new levels of downbadisms and basically defends his husband and/or justifying his actions every time. he basically “yeah but” his way to ilya being a perfect angel who can do no wrong

Where they need to compensate by girlbossifying Shane. The whole idea that Shane needs to control Ilya or boss him around as a compensation for Ilya holding more “power” over him, even when both are equals in every sense that matters.

That Shane needs to mold Ilya into a man he wants rather than loving Ilya for who he is. That Shane is embarrassed by Ilya in public and secretly hates him rather than actually adoring him like he does in canon. That Shane needs more people in his corner who will “protect” him against Ilya, as if he is not perfectly capable of doing that himself.

-my case is the tuna melt scene where each ingredient is individually contained in a glass Tupperware-

I think it stems from his control issues (shockingly) where it’s another small way for him to take the control he seems to never have in any other aspect of his life - a career that could pass him around at any moment - a game he plays that’s essentially grown men fighting on ice that is different every time where the score is always clawed for- a family where he was puppeteer around as a show doll / the cash cow they never cared about

so in HIS home, Ilya is able to give all of his things their own place and he’s like surprisingly anal about it when people first come over like not in a neat freak way but certain things belong in certain places and if someone moves it (cliff) he expects them to put it back

Meanwhile My Shane genuinely doesn’t give a fuck because everything he owns and has was provided for him in a careful selection by his stylist/personal trainer/nutritionist/coach/mother- Shane has no attachment to any of his belongings because they don’t have anything to do with shane- they all belong to The Shane Hollander machine

I think when hollanov move in together - Ilya is the like interior designer with a specific vision and shane is happily nodding along to whatever he wants because he genuinely doesn’t care outside of what the actual property looks like (Mr.Real Estate)

anyways tldr - Hollanov are gay and cute tg despite their many issues :)

What I’m saying is this, sometimes Ilya will say something to Shane in front of the Centaurs that makes the whole locker room freeze up because if they said that shit to their own partners, they would be in the doghouse for months. But Shane will just shove Ilya or punch him in the shoulder and then they grin at each other like it was the funniest shit ever.

I think Shane losing Montreal would actually heighten this too, because he’s already experienced what it’s like to have a team turn against him. He’s done it once, he can withstand it again. But Ilya’s experience of captaining both Boston and Ottawa were very positive. He hasn’t had to learn the ‘ultimately these are coworkers, fuck ‘em if they hate me’ attitude that Shane did. And Shane is terrified of how much it will hurt Ilya if that ever comes to pass.

So he’s assessing the environment, scanning for threats. The first time a centaur, even one that Ilya has assured him is a friend, makes any sort of comment that could be taken as just a touch too close to the line, Shane is locking in like the terminator. Slow head turn and a deadpan “what do you mean by that?” Sustained, unblinking eye contact during the entire exchange.