I prefer to write x reader smut in a way that would be applicable to anyone by trying not to use language that is specific to one gender/biological sex/sexuality for the reader. If I choose to use language that would indicate a specific gender/bio sex/sexuality, I will say so in the warnings of the fic. Minors, DNI! Thank you for reading!
❀ Series PSA ❀
When I have an organized series that has a definite, clear end (any series not counting Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy as that is more a collection of many different works/pov's in that uni), I choose to wait to post chapters until I have completely finished the entire series. This takes the stress off of me for writing chapters with time constraints, prevents series from going unfinished (which ik can be frustrating as a reader), and allows me to stick to a solid posting schedule (Mon/Thurs at noon PST). As such, all series that are in progress will have an ending and will be posted regularly.
You get home from a stressful day at work to find your boyfriend troubled by some negative comments on the internet.
Feel Good - ☾ ⟡ ♡
You help your boyfriend release some energy after a long day.
Josh
I'll be coming home, wait for me - ♡ 𖤓
Your boyfriend knows just how to comfort you when your college schoolwork becomes overwhelming.
Lavender - ☾ ⟡ ♡
You pause movie night to give your boyfriend all of your attention.
Sam
In Progress
Jake
Into the Ether- ☾ ❀
You’re mostly satisfied with your life. Sure, you work in a local pub with the worst kind of patrons, and your boss is constantly threatening to fire you, but it pays the bills. That is until your town is attacked and you’re swept up by an infamous pirate captain, sending you head first into a new life within his crew.
Slash Pairings
Save a Horse- (Danny x Sam)- ♡ 𖤓 ⟡ ☾ ❀
Danny convinces Sam to go to a new line dancing bar in town. A gay bar. On a steal night. When they’re both secretly head over heels in love with each other. What could go wrong?
Slow It Down- (Danny x Sam)- ❀ ☾ ♡ 𖤓 ☆
Almost three years after escaping to New York for college, Danny finally returns to Frankenmuth for the summer, welcomed with open arms by all his family and old friends. All but one. With Sam’s apparent hatred of him, Danny must try to get through the summer with him hanging over his life like a storm cloud, darkening each day spent with their families.
Wish I Were Heather- (Danny x Sam) ♡ 𖤓 ⟡ ☾
Needing a distraction to help him get over his ex, Sam asks Danny to join him at a party. Reluctantly, he agrees; but neither can expect where the night will lead them.
The Barbarians- (Danny x Sam) ☾ 𖤓 ♡ ☆ ❀
Sam and Danny have spent their lives with The Hunger Games hanging over their heads. For Sam, it was his only opportunity to escape the shadow his victor older brothers cast over him, sweeping him off to the side. But for Danny, each year at the reaping he prayed to anyone who would listen that his name wouldn’t get called. As the 54th Annual Hunger Games roll around, both know it’s their last year included in the reaping. It’s Sam’s last chance to prove himself worthy of the Kiszka name, and Danny’s last chance at escaping the games.
Just Another Scary Movie- (Danny x Sam) ☾ [+ horror]
When Sam does everything he can to finally just get one night to himself, he gets exactly what he wanted, spending the night watching shitty rom coms all comfy on his couch. But when a strange caller interrupts his night of relaxation, all his plans come crashing down on his head.
I Was Made for Lovin' You, Baby- (Danny x Sam) ☆ ⟡ ♡ ☾
80’s “Rockstar” Danny meets College boy Sammy at a bar the night Danny’s band plays their first live gig.
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Craving a re-read of the Barbarians right now and it made me think about how that story really stuck with me— thought I would let you know how highly I think of your writing 😗
Genuinely you don’t know how much this means to me
With the boys being p much mia and just life getting insane I unforch haven’t written in so long :(
BUT i have like three different wip’s that I used to be obsessed with and still want to finish so maybe I’ll find some speck of motivation to get one ready enough to post sometime soon 😭
Summary: Desperate for alone time, Sam does everything he can to finally just get one night to himself. He could think of no better way to spend his night than watching shitty rom coms all comfy and stoned on his couch. But when a strange caller interrupts his relaxation, he soon finds his night descending into madness, maybe even…murder.
Pairings: Danny Wagner x Sam Kiszka (!Scream AU)
Series Genre: angst, horror
Word Count: 3.4k
Warnings: brief vomiting (not graphic), man threatening/breaking and entering/physically restraining someone (Just imagine the actual Scream movies, less blood and stuff but same phycological mind fuck)
Sam truly did love living with his brothers again, but quickly learned that the two rarely spent time apart from each other, dragging Sam into their “adventures” as soon as he had settled into their house and his class schedule. Which was fine, after only seeing them during holidays for six years, he was grateful to spend so much time with them again, just like they did before the twins left for college. But Sam needed time to himself every once and a while, a concept that his brothers seemed to not understand. So, he took every chance he could to have the house to himself for the night, often making excuses that he had to be up early for a required attendance lecture the next day or that he was too exhausted to join them.
And that’s exactly what he had done tonight. When the twins invited him to go club hopping with them for a last minute celebration of Jake getting a passing score on a test he had been dreading, Sam had feigned a cold to stay at home when they didn’t believe his other excuses, wanting nothing more than to watch movies all night long curled up on the couch with a freshly packed bong. Sam didn’t feel like explaining just how stressful and exhausting transferring universities in his Junior year and moving to another state had been for him, and he was trying to focus on how great it was to be with his brothers again, so he didn’t need them feeling sorry for him. Eager for his cozy night at home, Sam had pre-popped popcorn for when he got the munchies and had already wrapped himself in his favorite throw blanket. The icing on the cake was that the twins wouldn’t be home until after Sam had inevitably fallen asleep, so he could wear the smallest shorts he owned without worrying about if they would give him shit over it.
Hitting ‘play’ on whatever new, probably shitty, Netflix original rom com he had decided on, Sam grabs his lighter, already knowing from the trailer that he needed to be incredibly high to sit through it. Just as the intro begins to play, Sam’s phone buzzes wildly on the couch next to him, halting his movements as he reaches for the bong. That’s weird, someone’s calling me. Jake and Josh never call when they’re out, unless it’s an emergency. Trying to keep himself calm, Sam picks up his phone, his heart rate steadying once more when he sees an unrecognizable caller ID. Usually, he never answered those calls, choosing to send them to voicemail instead, but his relief that the twins were fine clouds his mind as he answers it, pausing his movie and putting his phone on speaker. “Hello?”
“Hello.” A deep voice rasps through the phone, and Sam can’t help but wonder if that was actually what the caller sounded like, or if he was using some voice filter to remain anonymous.
“Yes?”
“Who is this?” Great, a wrong number dial. Just what I needed interrupting my movie night.
“Who are you trying to reach?” Sam tries not to let his annoyance into his tone, knowing that it probably wasn’t the caller’s fault that they accidentally called him so late into the night.
“I don’t know.”
I’m getting tired of this. “Well, you have the wrong number.”
“Do I?”
“Yeah, have a great night.” Sam hangs up without another word, tossing his phone back onto the couch as he reaches for his bong once again. His hand doesn’t even find the cool glass before his phone begins buzzing, annoyance and frustration taking root in him when he sees the same number flash across his screen. “Hello??”
“I’m sorry, I guess I dialed the wrong number.”
“So, why’d you call me again?”
“I just wanted to apologize.”
“And you have now, so bye.” Sam’s finger hovers over the ‘end call’ button before the mystery caller’s voice filters through the speaker, the hint of desperation tinging his tone.
“Wait, wait! Don’t hang up please.”
“Why?”
“I wanna talk to you for a little.”
Disgusting creep. “Pornhub is free if you’re looking to get off tonight, or go find some AI text chat to fulfill whatever you need.” Sam hangs up, trying to keep the weird caller off his mind as he didn’t want it to ruin his night. You need this, Sammy. You just need one fucking relaxing night at home to reset, don’t let him ruin that for you.
He gets about five more minutes into the movie before his phone rings again, thankful that their family had an unlimited plan so that whoever was constantly calling him wouldn’t drain any of his minutes. With his first bong rip flowing through his body, he can’t seem to find it in himself to be annoyed as calm fills him, curious to see exactly what the fuck this person wanted from him. If all else failed, he could always block them. “Hello? Seriously, what do you want?”
“Why don’t you want to talk to me?” He sounds… genuinely sad?
“Because I don’t know who you are.”
“You tell me your name and I’ll tell you mine.” Sam almost laughs as he picks up a few pieces of popcorn, popping them into his mouth with a satisfying crunch. “What’s that noise?”
“Popcorn.” Sam’s answer comes immediately, his mind too muddled to care about the unimportant question.
“I only eat popcorn when I watch a movie.” Amusement tinges the caller’s voice as he pauses, the silence heavy through the speaker as Sam waits to see if he would continue. “Are you watching a movie? Is that what I hear?”
“Yep. Some cheesy rom com. Do you like rom coms?” If he was being honest, Sam couldn’t explain what prompted him to ask the question, too inebriated to care and willing to just talk to whoever was on the other end of the line.
“Not really. I prefer horror movies. Do you like horror movies?”
“Eh, some of the classics. IT, Friday the 13th, The Shining, Halloween, stuff like that. I’m not a fan of most of the newer stuff since CGI has gotten better, it’s too gory for me.” Sam considers his words for a moment, thinking back on all the new horror movies Jake had forced him and Josh to watch over the years. “Actually, the newer IT movies were pretty good too.”
“Is that your favorite horror movie?”
Shrugging, Sam realizes that the other man couldn’t see him over the phone, slightly amused at himself that he had forgotten. “I guess. Do you have a favorite horror movie?”
“Hmmmm… maybe Sleepaway Camp. You ever seen that?”
“Not that I can think of.”
“The ending is reaaally scary.
“Oh, is it?”
“Mhm.” Not knowing how to feel about the hungry undertones of the caller’s voice, he moves past it, unable to care enough about it to end the call. “So, you got a boyfriend?”
Sam’s cheeks tinge bright pink at the unexpected question, his sudden nerves coming off as what he worried was flirtatious banter. “Why? You wanna ask me out or something?”
“Maybe” The single word sends butterflies to Sam’s stomach, the smile in the other man’s voice audible even through his speaker. This is a really weird pick-up attempt, but it’s the first romantic possibility I’ve gotten here so far… “Do you have a boyfriend?”
“No.”
“Hmm. Y’know, you never told me your name.” Why does he sound so hungry? Shit, I’m hungry, I’m probably just projecting. At the realization that the munchies had hit him, Sam moves the popcorn bowl closer to himself, snacking off it as he considers what to say.
“Why do you wanna know my name?”
“‘Cause I wanna know who I’m looking at.”
Ice cold fear seeps into Sam’s bones at the words. When he doesn’t see anyone after glancing around himself, his eyes go out the large window beside the TV, the night too dark to see more than five feet outside of it. “What did you just say?”
“I said, I wanna know who I’m talking to.” The caller’s smooth, even voice sends another wave of terror over Sam, the other man’s tone unsettlingly calm and collected.
“That’s- that’s not what you said.”
“And what do you think I said?” The speaker goes silent, and Sam’s anxiety finally gets the best of him as he darts up to close the blinds to the window, trying to squint into the darkness to see further. “Hello?”
“I need to- I gotta go-”
“Wait! I didn’t get to ask you out.” Although his tone remains mostly the same, Sam can hear the eagerness and despiration in his voice, and while the anonymity of the other man used to spark intrigue inside of Sam, now it only brought dread.
“No thank you.”
“Don’t hang up on me!” Sam nearly misses his words over the sound of him slamming the blinds closed, his hands shaking as he presses that red button in the bottom center of his screen.
Fuck, did the twins lock the front door? Nearly tripping over his blanket, he absentmindedly chucks it back onto the couch as he races to the door, his stomach dropping to see it unlocked. He can’t get to it fast enough, forcing his hands to steady before slamming the deadbolt into place. The sudden buzzing in his hand nearly makes him jump out of his skin as terrified tears begin to brew on his lash line.
“Y-yes?”
“I told you not to hang up on me.” The anger in his tone is enough to nearly send Sam over the edge, his paranoia overtaking him as his eyes stay locked on the door.
“What do you want?”
“To talk.”
“Well then just- just call someone else, okay?” The second Sam hangs up, he navigates to the “contact” for the number, his finger mere centimeters from the “block” button before his screen lights up. It was the same number, the same person. Again. His fear transforms into anger momentarily, his frustration at his interrupted movie night filling him. Who did this person think they were calling him like that? From taking him away from his night of relaxation? “Listen, asshole!”
“No! You listen, you little bitch! You hang up on me again and I’ll strangle you with your own fucking intestines!” Sam is left frozen in his spot at the rage dripping from the caller’s words, his stomach turning from the open and graphic threat as he tries to find something, anything to respond with.
“Is this- is this some kind of a joke?”
“More of a game, really.” There’s that slick, cunning tone again. This guy is fucking psychotic. “Can you handle that… Sammy?”
How the fuck does he know my name? Sam tries to keep himself calm, his mind moving in slow motion through every possibility. “I’m gonna- I’ll call the cops.”
“Even if you hung up right now to do that, they’d never get here in time.” The caller’s voice carries an almost musical, sing-songy lilt to it, only furthering Sam’s utter terror.
“What- what do you want?”
“To see if you’re still this pretty without your skin.” Nausea crashes over Sam at the words, the other man’s sincere tone sending him racing to the kitchen and grabbing the nearest trashcan he can find before emptying his stomach into the bin. Straightening, Sam finds his phone face-down on the floor, almost staring at him, beckoning him closer with each second. Just when he bends to pick it up, three booming knocks ring out against the window over the sink, the frames rattling as if the glass was on the verge of shattering.
“Who’s there?! Who’s there?!” Sam nearly sobs the words out, huddling closer to the counter from the floor, his knees pulled to his chest. “I’m calling the fucking cops!”
“You should never say, ‘Who’s there?’.” The caller cuts him off just as Sam moves to hang up, that deep, smooth voice pausing his motions. “You’d know that if you watched horror movies. It’s a death wish. There’re three rules to surviving in a horror movie. Rule number one is don’t fuck. Think you’ve got that one covered, Sammy boy. Rule two, don’t drink or do drugs. Not off to a great start here, are we?” Disappointment drips from his tone, tsking at Sam until he feels like he could physically picture the caller shaking his head. “And rule number three is never, ever fucking say ‘I’ll be right back’ or ‘Who’s there?’. That makes two out of three, I’m afraid your chances aren’t lookin’ too good here, Sammy.”
Just as the words leave the caller’s mouth, Sam glances up at the window, catching a flash of white and black just on the other side of the glass. Throwing himself into the corner, Sam takes up as little space as possible, hoping that if whatever had passed by the window looked back into it, he wouldn’t be able to see Sam. “No! Please, please, I don’t want to die! I- why won’t you just leave me alone?”
“I want to play a game.”
Sam’s tears roll down his cheeks at the monotony of his words. He’s- he’s playing with me like I’m some toy. “No.”
“Then you die.”
“No, no, please!”
“Which is it then, Sammy?”
“What kind- what kind of game?”
“Go back to the living room and find out.”
Did this sick fuck get in?! Am I- is he gonna kill me the second I get there? Is he just waiting to attack? Sam stands on shaky legs, forcing his body to move through the kitchen in the direction of the living room. The moonlight filtering through the window catches the light off the cold steel of a knife in a woodblock, and Sam grabs it before continuing his path. Tiptoeing through the empty house, Sam peeks around the corner only to find the living room empty, his shitty romcom still playing on the TV.
“Good, now here’s how we play: I ask a question, if you get it right, I leave you alone.”
“Please, please don’t do this.”
“Come onnnn, it’ll be fun.”
This could- this could be my only chance to get out. What the fuck is this, why is this happening to me? I don’t- I don’t know what to do. “Fine.” Sam’s words are no louder than a whisper, heavy with defeat as he peeks through the blinds, his eyes scanning the trees outside of the window desperately.
“It’s an easy category: classic horror movie trivia. I’ll even give you a warm-up question. What’s the name of the summer camp where ‘Friday the 13th’ takes place?”
“I- I don’t remember. I don’t remember.”
“Come onnnn, you said it was one of the classics. You like the classics, remember?”
“I-” Sam cuts himself off, his mind scrambling in his terror to remember anything he could about the movie. “Camp- Camp Crystal?”
“Oh, you’re so close Sammy.” The caller purrs the words out, only adding to the distractions swirling around his head.
“Yes! Good job, Sammy. Now, for your real question. That was just a warm-up, remember?”
“Please- please-” Sam tries to blink the tears from his eyes, his stomach turning as he fights the urge to throw up.
“Same category. Who first says ‘Beep, beep Richie’ in the 2017 IT?”
“One of the Losers- one of- uhhh, probably Eddie! It’s one of the Losers, you sick fuck!” Nearly screaming the words out, relief floods Sam as he realizes what his answer meant for him.
“I’m sorry, Sammy! That’s the wrong answer!”
“No! No, it’s not! It was one of them, I’ve seen that movie so many fucking times, I know it’s one of them!”
“Then you should know that in the 2017 remake, Pennywise is the first to say ‘Beep, beep Richie’! None of the Losers say it in the remake! That’s only in the original!”
“You- you tricked me-”
“I didn’t though, Sammy! Lucky for you, I’m willing to give you a bonus round, just to see if you can redeem yourself.” Sam holds his breath, the caller’s seconds of silence stretching into what felt like hours. “Where am I?”
“What?”
“Where am I? Am I outside, or am I in the house? Where. Am. I?”
Feeling as if his heart had stopped, Sam can do nothing but hang up the phone, clutching the knife in his hand as he makes a beeline for his bedroom. Ok, Josh- Josh- I need to call him. I need to get to my room, lock the door, and then call him. I need to- to call the cops. Dread fills him with each step towards the stairs as he’s sent straight to voicemail, waiting for the tone to begin his recording. “Josh there’s- there’s someone here with me at the house, threatening me, they want to- they want to hurt me. I’m- I’m locking myself in my room and calling the cops but just- I don’t know if they’re in the house but-” Panic flashes across his mind as realization hits him. I didn’t check the back door. We never lock the back door.
The knife and phone drop from his hand as someone body slams him, sending them both to the floor while Sam can do nothing but yelp in his shock. The other person straddles Sam before he can recover, pinning his wrists down on the floor with his hands, and Sam can think nothing, feel nothing, as he stares up at the masked figure above him. His black, hooded cloak hid any distinct features from Sam, but he swore he could see a singular, dark brown curl hanging down from under the hood, just to the side of his mask that resembled a disfigured, screaming ghost.
Sam sends his knee straight into the other man’s crotch, shoving him off himself as he claws at the mask, eventually ripping it from his face. Before he has a chance to look at him properly, Sam gives the man one final shove downwards before snatching his phone off the ground and darting up the stairs. He doesn’t stop until he slams and locks his door behind himself, looking around his room frantically for anything he could use as a weapon before realizing that he was still leaving Josh a voicemail. “Listen, please, please just pick up! Please, Josh, I need help-”
Something slams into Sam’s door, and hard. The force shakes the doorframe, the lock creaking under the impact, startling Sam and causing him to drop his phone in his terror. Racing to the window, his shaking hands fumble with the lock, finally ripping it wide open before he shoves the screen from the frame, clattering to the ground as he tries to climb out. A loud crack rattles the room, and Sam glances back to see the man—the caller—standing in the door with the kitchen knife in hand as he takes heaving breaths.
Sam tries to hoist himself out the window, but the man closes the distance between them quickly, throwing Sam to the floor. His terror only multiplies when he pins him to the floor once again, unable to do anything but stare up at him as he straddles Sam, making sure to keep his legs pinned to the ground too. No matter how hard he tried, Sam can’t find enough strength to push the other man off him, nor to look away as he keeps his gorgeous hazel eyes glued to Sam’s. I was right. Curly hair. He almost laughs from fear at the thought, knowing that he had much more important things to focus on at the moment, that he shouldn’t spend his remaining time thinking about the caller’s gorgeous shoulder length mess of curls, or how good it looked with the top half held back with a hair tie. And he really shouldn’t have been staring at each individual freckle dotting the arch of his nose, peppered across his sun-kissed skin like stars.
“So,” The caller starts, moving Sam’s wrists to one hand as the other comes down to grab the knife, bringing the blade up to Sam’s throat. The cool metal stings his skin under even the smallest amount of pressure, a sharp reminder that his life remained in this psychopath’s hands. Although Sam realizes that the man must have filtered his voice over the phone, finding it now higher in pitch yet still deeper than his own, it was still as smooth and delicious as honey. “You still don’t like horror movies?”
This is possibly another contribution to @hearts-hunger 's Halloween event (2 or 11 ish if you squint?) (ik it's late, I just needed to write this)
Yes ik that Danny pic is from last yrs Jedi costume but HE’S WEARING A FUCKIN CLOAK/ROBE I HAD TO
I actually fucking hate Sleepaway Camp, the end isn't scary, it's just completely fucked up. Spoilers ahead if you don't feel like watching: the only reason the killer girl starts murdering people is because she's actually a boy who has been forced to dress and act like a girl for the last like 10 years of their life. No. Other. Reason.
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- if josh doesnt post soon/gvf doesnt come back soon i might be drifting over to jake lane
- you cant convince me chris and jake haven’t explored each others bodies
- love my bf fr fr cause how many ppl can thirst over a man WITH their man who is also just as HUBBA HUNBA HUBBA over him as you
- i knew the twins were small(er), but like- being three feet from Jake and realizing that we were about the same height….like as a trans man i am so used to being much shorter than most men but he’s like genuinely my size 😭
- guys he was so close like we somehow got barricade and the entire time I JUST KEPT REMEMBERING THINGS IVE WRITTEN ESPECIALLY THE JAKE AND SEBASTIAN SHIT WHICH IS- lets just say its really distracting to remember Please right as he has the filthiest expression on his face as he practically fucks that guitar
- i thought i could handle actually being looked at by jake…yeah no i cant and imma be thinking about that for a while
- love mikey he’s actually so sweet; so soft spoken and he did the little finger wave wiggle back at my friend
Tis all
Will be passing out the second i get home 🫡 and will be praying that I can walk to classes tomorrow 😅😭
“The discovery of large gas planets within the inner regions of other solar systems has prompted a whole new set of questions. If these giant planets formed beyond the ice line, then migrated inward, could Jupiter have followed a similar path?”
Having just begun to doze off, Danny snaps his attention back to the glowing screen before him, dragging his hand down his face to further wake himself. “To test this idea, scientists used a supercomputer to reproduce the early evolution of our solar system.” How much did I miss-? I remember a good 10 or 15 minutes of the beginning, and none of this makes sense, so I must be almost finished, right?
Danny pauses the documentary, and his mouth falls open as he can do nothing but stare at the time stamp with glassy eyes. 22 fucking minutes?? Out of 45? Quickly clicking away from the film, Danny makes a mental note to finish it the next morning, only hoping that the daylight would help him sit through the rest of it without falling asleep. Checking the time, he begins scrolling the top-rated movies, knowing that his sleepiness had only been caused by the film.
It was stupid that he was even trying to watch it, really. Sam had mentioned that he found it “extremely interesting” in conversation, and when Danny replied that he’d have to check it out sometime, the other man's entire face had lit up. Danny found it adorable how enthusiastic his boyfriend was when talking about nerdy space stuff, but with their relationship still in its honeymoon phase, he hadn’t considered that he was a different type of space nerd than Sam.
Sure, he could sit through a Star Wars marathon—the prequels, Solo, Rogue One, the originals, AND the sequels (strictly in that order)—like it was nothing. But 45 minutes of some proper British dude talking about Jupiter? Count him out.
Feeling his phone vibrate against the couch’s worn upholstery, Danny checks it to find a singular text from Austin. “You home?”
“Yeah, what’s up?” Quickly typing out his response and sending it, Danny watches the three little dots at the top, left side of his keyboard disappear and reappear, and his worry only grows with each passing second. After two minutes of waiting, Danny finally sends another message, his heart hammering against his ribcage in fearful anticipation. “You ok?”
The dots vanish. When they finally pop back up, they’re only there for a second before his words come through. “Can I come in?”
Danny shoots out of his seat, nearly tripping over the rug in his small living room as he scrambles to the door, not bothering to put on shoes as he rushes out into the hallway with his keys in hand. Austin only ever showed up like this when he got into arguments with his family or his current boyfriend, Tobi. But every other time, he had always given more warning before heading over. And he had never asked this late.
Flying down the stairs, Danny can’t get to the building door fast enough, especially when he sees Austin shivering in the rain through the glass. Thankfully, he remembers to slow down just before he makes contact with it, but he still nearly slams it open, desperate to get the other man inside as soon as he could. “What happened?” The words barely leave his lips before Danny all but drags Austin into the building, already ushering him towards the stairs and back to his apartment.
“Tobi.”
He's been screaming, I can hear it in his voice. At least he doesn’t look hurt. Swear to god, if that asshole hit him- Danny says nothing more as he takes the lead, thankful that even though there weren’t any elevators, he only lived on the second floor. It isn’t until he locks the door securely behind them, watching Austin kick his shoes off as he takes a deep breath before Danny speaks again. “Wine? Something stronger?”
Even in the low light of the entryway, Danny can see just how bloodshot Austin’s eyes were as he looks up at the question, how the skin around it was raw and red like he had been crying for hours. “Somethin’ stronger.”
“Any preferences?”
“Got any whiskey?” His voice is tired, broken as they move to the kitchen, and he leans against the counter as Danny searches through the alcohol cabinet for the right bottle.
“Honey Jack Daniels. That work?”
“I could kiss ya.” Though his tone was still thick with exhaustion, a smile breaks onto his features as he wipes away the remaining raindrops dotting his face. “And I- I hate to ask this of ya, ‘specially on such short notice but I- can I crash on your couch tonight? And maybe borrow a pair of sweatpants an’ a t-shirt?”
“Course you can, you’re always welcome here. But you are not sleeping on the couch, do you know how old it is? That thing lived in the Kiszka’s garage until we all moved away and I got stuck with it. I have a queen and usually stick to one side, we can just share my bed if you’re comfortable.”
For a moment, Danny fears that the other would burst into tears as he blinks up at him through heavy lids, his voice cracking when he speaks. “I am, thank you. Again, I’m sorry to intrude or ruin any’a your plans for the night.”
“Believe me, you’re not ruining anything.” Laughing the words out, Danny turns to grab two glasses, setting them on the counter next to the bottle. “Before you texted, I was falling asleep to some documentary about Jupiter that Sam recommended. It's no intrusion, promise.”
“Alright...”
“Want yours on the rocks? I have those fancy sphere ice molds we can use.” Pausing as he opens the freezer, Danny does a once-over of Austin, all the way from his downcast stare hidden beneath dripping curls to the soaked edges of his jeans. “Why don’t you go change into something dry while I get the drinks. Then we can talk about what happened, yeah?”
“Yeah. And uh- yeah, rocks. Rocks is good. Can you make it a double, please?”
“Mhm. Sweats are in the dresser’s bottom drawer, t-shirts are in the closet. Should be a few towels under the bathroom sink if you need any and there’s a clothesline in the shower if you want to let your things dry overnight.” Resuming his previous task, Danny grabs the molds from the freezer, beginning to pick off the small pieces that had formed on the top of the silicone lid.
“Thank you, Daniel. I can’t- I can’t tell ya how thankful I am to have ya in my life.”
Though his heart breaks ever so slightly, both at the sentiment and the look of utter defeat written across the other man’s face, Danny offers him a small, but genuine smile. “Back at you. You’re one of my best friends, Austin, my family. Now go get changed before you get hypothermia.”
Offering him one last smile, Austin turns to make his way through the apartment, finding Danny’s room in no time and closing the door to change. Focusing on getting the ice out, Danny finds himself unable to ignore the ball of anxiety growing in the pit of his stomach that he knew wouldn’t go away until Austin told him everything. The drinks are made in no time as he mutes his racing thoughts, allowing himself to go through the familiar motions mindlessly.
Just when he sits down drinks in hand, Austin emerges from the room, bundled in a pair of black sweatpants and a shirt that Danny knew was oversized on even his own frame. Quick to join him, Austin plops down on the couch, immediately making himself comfortable as he yanks a blanket off the back of it and draws his knees up to his chest. Offering him his glass, Danny waits as the other man situates himself fully before handing it to him, watching as he takes more than a few large sips before resting it on his knee.
“Tobi an’ I broke up.”
“Really??” Thankfully, Danny manages to conceal the excitement from creeping into his tone, and he forces himself to keep the smile from his face as he twists his expression into one of surprise and concern.
“Yup. Kicked ‘im out, too. Told ‘im he better be gone by the time I get back t’morrow mornin’. Gave ‘im the night to pack.”
“Holy shit-” Thank fucking GOD. I thought he’d never escape that relationship unless Tobi broke up with him. “What happened?” Danny’s words are quiet, gentle as he recognizes he could be treading on thin ice.
Austin takes a deep breath, sipping his drink once more as he looks down at the threadbare fabric beneath them. “Caught ‘im cheatin’ on me with some boy that’s barely legal. The fucker left their messages open on the table when he went to the bathroom, like he-” His voice cuts out, and he brings the edge of the cool glass to his lips, swallowing hard before continuing with watery words. “Like he wanted me to see it.”
Danny’s jaw clenches as rage begins to rapidly grow within him, finding himself grasping at every curse he could use towards the man. “And that ain’t even the worst part. Worst part is, I found texts to 'im where- where he said that I meant nothin’ to ‘im. That he was only with me ‘cause I was lettin’ ‘im live with me. Planned to dump me the second he saved enough to get his own place an’ then they could- they could finally be together.”
“Austin, I-” His words escape him, and he’s quick to redirect his anger, knowing that it wouldn’t be helpful for either of them. Closing the distance between them as the first of the other man’s tears fall, Danny wraps an arm around him, pulling Austin against his side. “I’m so sorry. He doesn’t deserve you, never did.”
“It’s my own damn fault.” Austin shakes his head, roughly wiping the tears from his cheeks and sniffling as he avoids Danny’s eye. “I was so stupid lettin’ ‘im into my life so fast, lettin’ ‘im move in with me ‘cause he ain't got nowhere else'tuh go.”
“He took advantage of your kindness, you can’t blame yourself for that.”
“I can if it’suh pattern.” Anger flashes behind his eyes when he finally rips his gaze up to meet Danny’s, burning with self-hatred and regret as another wave of tears pours down his cheeks. “I put myself in these relationships knowin’ full well that the guy’s scum on God’s fuckin’ green Earth! I always know the endin’, but I dive right in’tuh a relationship anyway. Why do I do this to myself, Daniel?”
Taking a deep breath, Danny exhales it through his nose as he fights the urge to look away, his nerves turning his stomach upside down. “Do you want me to be honest?”
“Please.”
Though Austin had asked for the truth, Danny hesitates, worried about how the other man would take it in the state he was in. “It- it hurts, it really fucking hurts when you find out that the ‘nice’ guy you’re with is actually a piece of shit. Just having to accept that it was all an act to get you to trust him before- before showing his true colors. I think you’re scared of having to go through that. Of being blindsided just when you thought you were safe. You can’t be blindsided if you already knew they were a bad guy going into the relationship.”
Danny stops, watching the other man for any reaction, for any anger at his words. But Austin only blinks the water from his lashes, looking over at Danny with wide eyes as the gears turn within his head. “And I think- I think that you’re scared to truly open yourself up to a partner, to trust them like that. With shit guys, you don’t have to worry about that because they just don’t- they don’t care about the relationship, about- about you, enough to ask or- or make themselves available for those conversations. Y'know?”
Taking a deep breath, Austin’s eyes find the screensaver now occupying Danny’s TV, becoming still as a statue. Danny waits with bated breath for the other shoe to drop, for Austin to say or do anything at all. Just when he’s about to speak up, Austin’s eyes find Danny’s once more, stopping his words in their tracks. “Reckon you’re right.”
“What?”
“I said, you’re right. Didn’t have’tuh read me like that but-” A small, sad smile splits his lips, and Danny feels his anxieties shrink knowing that he hadn’t further upset him. “Thank you, Daniel. You- you didn’t hold back, just gave it to me straight, and I ‘preciate that. And congratulations, you just did what my therapist tried ‘n failed to do.”
“Oh yeah, and what’s that?”
“Get me to talk ‘bout my feelin’s, the real bad parts of my datin’ life; like actually talk ‘bout it. And figure out what the fuck is wrong with me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Austin. Sure, there’s a few things you might want to work on for your own wellbeing, but there’s nothing wrong with you. And if you haven’t been actually talking to your therapist, then it’s no wonder why they’ve ‘failed’.”
“I guess we’ll never know.” For a moment, Austin appears to relax ever so slightly, but as his eyes drop to the rugged edges of his cuticles, tension slowly seeps back into his body. “How do I stop doin’ this?”
Danny draws in a long breath, exhaling it through his nose sharper than he intended, and he offers the other man a gentle squeeze to his shoulder. “Take a break from dating. Like I said, I think there’s some self-work and reflection that can be done. Which is hard, I know; but the alternative is to keep- to keep hurting yourself with these kinds of relationships. I don’t want you to put yourself through that, Austin.” His voice cracks, and Danny swallows the lump forming in his throat as he feels his eyes sting with tears. “If you want to break this pattern, I’ll be right here beside you along the way. And when- and when you can see your value, how much you’re truly worth, then we find you a partner who’s gonna show you all the love and care you deserve.”
“We sure that there’s even men ‘round these parts that fit that description?” Wiping the last of his tears from his cheeks, Austin offers Danny a halfhearted smile.
“Guarantee it. I’ll help you find one, don’t you worry.”
“Well thank ya kindly. You’re- you’re one of the good ones. I ain’t ever met a kinder soul than you, Daniel Wagner, and I mean it. Samuel’s lucky to have you.”
“Thank you, that- that means a lot. And it’s more like I’m lucky to have him. He's one of the good ones too. And so are you, Austin.”
“Ah!” Dramatically clasping his hand over his heart, Austin goes limp on the cushions beside Danny, his other hand moving up to delicately rest the back against his forehead as his expression twists into one of mostly feigned sorrow. “When is it my turn to fall mad in love!?”
“Awww, don’t worry, your time will come.” Austin sits up again, shrugging as he glances over at Danny before his eyes dart down to his fingertips, beginning to pick at the rough edges of his cuticles. Offering the other man a gentle nudge, Danny moves his free hand to rest over Austin’s. “Believe me, if Sam hadn’t already set up camp in my heart, you would’ve stolen it right out of my chest when we met.”
The words cause Austin to snort, and Danny can’t help but grin back at him as he watches the other’s fear slowly slip away, replaced quickly by his exhausted amusement. “Mhm, right. And how long was Samuel in there ‘fore I came along?”
“...9, 10 years? Give or take.” Feeling his cheeks heat, he gives him a light shove as Austin breaks down into laughter, but Danny can’t fight his smile from returning to his lips. “What can I say, I’m really good at playing the long game.”
“Should I even be takin’ datin’ advice from a man who waited 10 years to tell ‘is best friend that he loved ‘im?”
“Yes, yes you should. I’m no expert, but I’ve always found that the best relationships start as friendships. You get to know them without the pressure of a new relationship, get to see who they are before committing like that. Just let yourself feel whatever you feel towards them without any expectations of how you ‘should’ feel or where the relationship will go to overwhelm you.”
“Yeah, an’ who am I gonna be friends with? I ain’t been in the city that long, an’ you know I ain’t good at meetin’ new people.”
“We can go to Bradley’s together, just mingle, see if we meet anyone. And I can introduce you to my friends, then you can be friends with them.”
“Ah yes,” Austin pauses, making eye contact as a mischievous smile twists his lips. “Your three friends, two if you ain’t countin’ Samuel.”
“Listen, all I’m saying is that Karen and Kelly did a great job at raising them. I think you and Josh would really get along...”
“I thought you said I should take a break from datin’, an’ now you’re tryna set me up with your boyfriend’s brother?”
“Am not-” Laughing the words out, Danny shakes his head before meeting the other’s eye. “I’m saying that you should take your dating break, do that self-work while making new friends. Even if they don’t become something more when you’re ready to get back out there, you still have those friendships. Lord knows you could use more of those, and yes, I know that I’m one to talk.”
For a moment, Danny fears that the other had drifted back into the corners of his mind as Austin stares at the half-melted ice in his drink, abandoned and forgotten on the coffee table at some point of their conversation. “Right, again, Mr. Wagner. Jesus Christ,” Austin drags his hands down his face, letting out a frustrated groan. “Coulda saved myself months of torture if I had just come to you in the first place.”
“Don’t beat yourself up over it, you’re asking for help now, and that’s what matters.”
“Thanks for bein’ here for me.”
“Any time. I love you, man.” Offering his shoulder one final squeeze, Danny unwraps his arm from around Austin, straightening himself out as he reaches for his glass and takes a quick sip. “Now, did you wanna talk about anything else, get into anything deeper, or are you good for the night?”
“Lord knows I’m good. Thanks again for listenin’.”
“That’s what I’m here for.” Glancing at his phone, Danny grabs the remote, waking the TV from its sleep mode before looking back at the other man. “Well, it’s only 12:15 so we could go to sleep or watch something, I don’t have work tomorrow so I’m good with either.”
“Can we watch somethin’? Don’t know if I can sleep yet...”
“Mhm, any ideas?”
Austin’s eyes grow distant, losing himself within another world as a smile begins to break onto his lips. “Could watch Mary Poppins if you got Disney.” Suddenly snapping back to attention, a blush paints his cheeks as his gaze grows bashful. “Julie Andrews is’uh icon. And I may or may not’a had the fattest fuckin’ crush on Dick Van Dyke startin’ when I was 5 all the way ‘till I was 12.”
“Oh my god-” Laughing the words out, Danny’s hand moves up to cover the grin that had quickly found his features, just barely avoiding Austin’s swat.
“Look me in the eyes an’ tell me Bert ain’t cute, at least in the 60’s way. He’s a jack of all trades, fun an’ artistic, an' he’s a gentleman to Mary Poppins. He got the looks, personality, all’a it. Sure, his accent’s a lil’ goofy, but he makes up for it with the rest’a his performance.”
“Mhm.” Unable to conceal the smile from his face, Danny says nothing more as he queues the movie up, hitting play before grabbing a blanket and making himself comfortable. “Well, I’ll let you know if I agree, it’s been so long since I watched this, I can’t even begin to remember what he looks like.”
Austin lets out a light laugh as the title sequence begins, his eyes soon locking on the screen when the painted London cityscape fades into view, followed quickly by gentle orchestral music. Though he knew he would soon need to pay attention to the movie, Danny can’t help but hold his gaze on the other man, and the last of his fears melt away as he sees Austin’s spirit's lift. Sure, he looked exhausted, and Danny knew that he was surely still hurting, but everything that happened no longer occupied the front of his mind, and he couldn’t miss the small, content smile that settles onto his lips. I’d call that a win for the night.
Finding his glass and sipping on his watery whiskey, Danny settles into the couch, feeling Austin’s head come to gently rest on his shoulder as he turns his attention to the screen. With each song, Austin hums along quietly, and Danny can’t help but feel the light tug of sleep on his eyelids within thirty minutes. Talk, that’ll wake me up. “How do you think they did that trick? The whole Mary Poppins reaching into her bag. I mean it’s not like they had modern CGI in 1964, so it had to be an optical-”
Glancing over at Austin, Danny cuts himself off, finding the other fast asleep against him with his empty glass nestled into the blanket in his lap. With slow, calculated movements, Danny grabs it, trying as hard as he can to not disturb Austin as he places it on the coffee table beside his own. He'll be fine, he needs the sleep anyway.
Though he knew his back would surely be sore the next day if he fell asleep on the couch, Danny makes no attempt to move, figuring that Austin would wake by the end of the movie and they could stumble to bed half asleep then. Besides, Danny would feel bad leaving Austin, the last thing he wanted was for him to wake up alone in his living room in the middle of the night. Looking back to the TV, Danny allows his body to fully relax, letting his focus be consumed by the technicolor images dancing across his screen. And with each passing minute, he finds himself agreeing more and more with Austin.
Julie Andrews really was an icon, and as much as he’d hate to eventually admit it to the other man, Bert was kind cute...at least in the 60’s kind of way.
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Do you think if I finally light the Josh prayer candle my friends made for me 2 yrs ago, they’ll start hinting at releasing the next double LP we all know they’re sitting on?
It's scary to be transgender in the world right now but if you're transgender I love you and we have to stick together and keep fighting and keep living and keep loving
Fellas? Is it gay to compare you and your bestie to a first love relationship in the caption of an engagement photoshoot ass lookin birthday post? Fellas??????
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Danny loved that his band was finally getting at least some recognition, he just hadn’t imagined that their first live gig would be doing covers at a local bar overrun with college students. It wasn’t the students that bugged him, in fact he was thankful for them. Because so many of their favorite bands were some of the greats- Kiss, Zepplin, Def Leppard, Metallica- that bar remained unchanged even as more and more surrounding establishments caved into the “pop” craze and turned into neon nightclubs. And although he never went to college, Danny had spent enough time in the bar scene over the last few years to know that no one tips musicians better than newly 21-year-olds legally drunk for the first time.
No, it was the fact that they were only doing covers that bothered him. He and the other guys in Archer had worked so hard to get their band “out there” more. They had spent countless hours writing, practicing, and perfecting original songs, had contacted every local radio station and record label, but only got doors slammed in their faces. One day the world would hear their music, but no record labels wanted to sign new rock artists, unsure of whether to take the risk that they would go unheard over the stream of constant pop slowly consuming every radio station.
Pushing his thoughts to the back of his mind, Danny tunes back into the cacophony of noise surrounding him, taking a sip of his room temperature Budweiser and cringing at the taste of it. Having lost track of time and being too anxious to remember he had it, his drink had grown flat and too-warm, the fizz of it uncomfortable on his tongue. Is this gig even worth it? I mean, it’s our first live show, but it feels wrong that it’s only covering other real artists. Maybe we should just quit while we’re ahead.
The panic coursing through his mind immediately derails when he sees a flash of soft chestnut waves catch the light halfway across the bar from him, and he can’t help but let his eyes wander down to the deep maroon silk blouse cascading from the owner’s frame. And by the looks of it, she was set on a path straight to Danny, somehow making her way through the crowd easily even as she kept her head turned away, speaking to two beautiful men following close behind. Maybe I’ll stay a little longer. God, I hope one of those guys isn’t her boyfriend or something.
Turning away from the approaching group, Danny signals down one of the bartenders, tapping his ring against the glass of his ruined beer to ask for another. Suddenly, someone leans against the bar at his side, and he barely has a chance to register the momentary glimpse of maroon silk and long brown hair before they speak. “Make that two.”
Looking over at his company, Danny finds that the “woman” that had caught his eye across the bar wasn’t a woman at all, but a gorgeous young man looking up at him through his lashes with a glint in his eye that Danny knew meant nothing but trouble. Oh- that works too.
“Can I pay for your drink?”
“Why?” The word leaves his lips before Danny can think, and embarrassment tinges his cheeks as he struggles to keep his expression from wavering.
“Because my brothers saw you eyeing me and I think you’re cute.” Although the man offers him a smile thick with charm, Danny doesn’t miss the way the corners of his lips falter ever so slightly or that all too familiar glimmer of fear in his eyes. “If that isn’t too bold of me to say.”
“It isn’t.”
“Alright then, can I buy you a drink?”
“Only if you tell me your name.” The second the bartender sets their glasses down in front of them, the man already has his cash in hand, immediately paying for the drinks before Danny can even move to stop him.
“Sam. What about you? Anything I can call you, other than handsome?”
Surprised at the cheesy pick-up attempt and the sudden rush of warmth at the sight of Sam’s lopsided grin, Danny snorts, finally allowing his smile to shine through the cool expression he had trained his face into. “Does that line usually work on guys?”
“Oh, you’d be surprised. Some guys are just way too stupid and horny to see through my bullshit.”
“And do you think I’m just another stupid, horny guy?” Cocking his eyebrow at Sam, something flares deep within his chest as Danny watches the other man grow shy at his question, a slightly nervous smile replacing his confident grin slowly.
“No, I just use it to see if a guy is worth my time or not.”
“Am I worth your time?” Despite his words, Danny makes sure to tinge his tone with sultry amusement, slowly letting the smile creep back onto his face so Sam knew he meant nothing by it.
“I guess we’ll find out. C’mon, let’s go to a quieter corner.” Before Sam even takes a step, Danny feels his slender fingers wrap around his wrist, his cool skin a relief against his own in the muggy bar. Allowing Sam to guide him through the small crowds of people, they finally stop in what seemed to be the only uninhabited corner of the venue, far enough away from any speakers so that they could just barely hear each other without yelling.
“What about your brothers? Won’t they come looking for you?”
“Na, I wouldn’t worry about them. They’re probably right in front of the stage enjoying the show already. They only come for the alcohol and live music.”
“How about you? You here for the music too or just got dragged along?”
Sam all but rolls his eyes at the question, scoffing lightly before taking a drink. “Just got dragged along. The only people that play at places like this are just shitty cover bands.”
Fighting the grin trying to overtake his lips, Danny coughs to muffle a laugh that he can’t keep in, hoping that Sam wouldn’t notice or read too much into it. It would be much funnier if he didn’t realize just who he said that to until Danny stepped onto that stage. Stage. Shit, how long have I got? Checking his watch, Danny curses himself, realizing that he only had about five minutes before their band was introduced. I can stay for a little longer… I mean, the stage is right there. Just change the subject. “You must be new in town, I haven’t seen you at Mirador before.”
“Yup, just moved here from Michigan, decided I wanted to try the big city life for a change. My brothers have been here for ages, though, so they picked the bar.”
“Oh shit, I’m from Michigan too.”
“Really?”
“Born and raised.”
“What brought you to LA then?”
What brought me to LA? The need to escape, just go anywhere else? The inability to ignore that pit that grew in my stomach every day I stayed, knowing that my life would be meaningless if I didn’t go? You can’t say that, Danny, you’ll fucking scare him off. Just- just play it off. “Sex.” Refocusing his emotional energy, Danny grins wolfishly at Sam as he watches his eyes go wide at the word. “Drugs. Rock and Roll, baby. That’s what it’s all about, right?”
“Right.” Although Sam smiles at him, something lurks beneath it that Danny can’t quite place. Was it confusion, surprise, or judgement? I mean he can’t judge me for that considering the bar we’re in right now. “How long you been living here?”
“Almost four years. Time’s really flown by though.” Time. Fuck. Looking down at his watch and seeing that he had only three minutes left, Danny’s heart sinks as he turns his attention back to Sam, not wanting to leave that corner, not wanting to leave him so soon. “Well, Sam, I’ve really, really liked talking to you, but I gotta go.” Grabbing a discarded pen and napkin off a nearby table, Danny scrawls out his landline number before handing it to Sam while trying to ignore the disappointment clear on his face. “Call me tonight? Or tomorrow, just not before noon.”
“What, you have a hot date you gotta get to?”
“No,” Danny grins, clearly confusing the other man as the hurt on his face becomes muddled momentarily. “My shitty cover band is about to go on.” As much as he wanted to stay and watch Sam process his confession, Danny allows himself only a second to watch the realization and embarrassment mix in his expression before turning away and all but sprinting to the small “backstage” area.
The second Dave sees him, he all but jumps Danny, his eyes wide and wild as he scrambles to make sure everything was ready. “Where the fuck have you been, man? What are you wearing??”
“What do you mean?” Glancing down, Danny can’t find anything wrong with his flannel, t-shirt, and black jeans, and confusion overtakes him as Dave throws a metallic silver shirt at him.
“Put this on. I want your eyeliner done and hair teased at least a foot higher in the next thirty seconds.” Danny has no time to respond as Dave shoves a can of hairspray and an eyeliner pencil into his hand before scurrying off, no doubt to check on the state of their other bandmates.
Jesus Christ, how am I supposed to play in this? Shedding his layers despite him being extremely aware of the lack of privacy he had, Danny squeezes into the shirt Dave had given him, thankful that the material, although still tight, seemed to stretch to accommodate his shoulders, chest, and biceps. As the band on stage says their goodbyes, Danny rushes over to a small, dirty mirror in the corner, hastily smearing the pencil liner on his lower lash line before smudging it with his fingers quickly and moving on to his hair. With how frizzed out it had become in the humidity of the bar, he barely has to tease it before locking the curls into place with an ungodly amount of hairspray. He has mere seconds to adjust his bangs before Dave’s at his side again, all but throwing his guitar into his hands just to run over to the edge of the stage with the rest of the band.
Alright Danny, it may just be covers but this is still the largest crowd we’ve played for. Don’t fuck this up. Making his way to the others, he walks up just in time to hear Dave’s last run through of their set list. “Opening with Welcome to the Jungle, next is Pour Some Sugar On Me, Sweet Child O’ Mine, Whole Lotta Love, and ending with I Was Made for Lovin’ You. Danny, that’s a lot of guitar solos, think you can handle it?”
All eyes find Danny, and anxiety spikes in the pit of his stomach, suddenly overcome with nausea. Not now, Danny. Not fucking right now. “Yeah, I got it.”
“You sure?” Nodding his response, Dave slaps Danny lightly on the shoulder with a grin before pulling him into a side hug. “You got this, man. Cool with doing backup vocals too?”
“Yep.” Before he can say anything more, Danny registers a man introducing them, their band, over the microphone, and in that moment, pride fills Danny. Taking a deep breath, he follows his bandmates out onto the stage, momentarily blinded by the lights as adrenaline courses through his veins. Dave’s introduction goes unheard as Danny situates himself on stage, plugging his guitar into the amplifier and finding himself disappointed at the lack of pedals.
Dave is looking at me; why is he looking at me like that. FUCK. Welcome to the Jungle- I start this one off. Forcing himself to move, Danny somehow steadies his hands enough to take a ready position, and he feels his heart stop in that second of silence before he blasts the intro riff over the speakers. “Oh, my God.” Even over the sheer volume of his guitar, Danny can clearly hear Dave whine the words into his microphone, and it isn’t long before their drummer and rhythm guitarist join in, finally followed by their bassist plucking that familiar beat out on the other side of the stage.
What happens next, Danny can’t even begin to explain. As their volume grows, overlapping and building off each other, Danny feels himself grow lighter and lighter. But at the same time, he was entirely aware of his surroundings; of the heat radiating off the lights, the music rattling his brain and vibrating the very floor beneath him. He was there, but not. He was free, lost in the notes blasting from the rough strings beneath his fingertips. This. This is what I was born to do.
“Sex.” Sam’s heart skips a beat at the word, his breath catching in his throat at the hungry smile twisting the man’s lips. “Drugs. Rock and Roll, baby. That’s what it’s all about, right?”
“Right.” He’s living. Really truly living in the moment. What I would give to have that same confidence. “How long you been living here?”
“Almost four years. Time’s really flown by though.” Panic twists in Sam’s chest as he catches the other man glance down at his watch, a scowl twisting his features as he looks back up. “Well, Sam, I’ve really, really liked talking to you, but I gotta go.” Watching as he hastily scrawls something onto a napkin before holding it out for him to take, Sam tries to not let himself be too disappointed now that he had his number. “Call me tonight? Or tomorrow, just not before noon.”
“What, you have a hot date you gotta get to?” Could you sound more pathetic? God, it’s like you’ve never had a guy blow you off before.
“No,” What-? With the man’s answer and smile causing the anxious thoughts consuming his mind to completely screech to a stop, Sam can do nothing but freeze. “My shitty cover band is about to go on.”
He can’t be serious. He’s not- Oh my God, he is serious. Sam feels as if his heart had stopped beating in his very chest as he watches the man grin at him before sprinting towards the backstage area, almost immediately yanked into the hustle and bustle of it. I look like an ass now, I’m surprised he even gave me his number. Glancing down at the scrap in his hand, Sam curses himself as he realizes that he never got the stranger’s name; he had never given it thanks to Sam’s shitty pickup line, and he hadn’t written it along with his number. Usually this is when I sneak off, but maybe I should just stay, try to find him after the show. I mean it wouldn’t hurt to see if his cover band is in fact shitty.
Using his slight build to his advantage, Sam weaves through the crowds surrounding the stage as the current band says their final goodbyes before making their exit, and he picks up his pace for fear of getting caught in the middle of the crowd when the next band came on. Thankfully, Sam manages to push himself to the front, right up to his brothers’ sides, and he taps them on their shoulders to let them know he had joined them.
“Sammyyyy! You’re hanging out with us tonight instead of hiding in the corner with random boys?” Looping his arm around Sam’s shoulder clumsily, it was clear that Josh hadn’t decided to pace himself with his drinks, his rosy cheeks, cheery smile, and slightly slurred lisp a dead giveaway to his sobriety.
“What happened to that guy? He was looking at you like he wanted to eat you alive earlier, I’m surprised you’re not tonguing in the corner.”
Flicking Jake’s ear, Sam resists the urge to roll his eyes, his cheeks growing warm under his brothers’ teasing. “He had to go, gave me his number though.”
When the twins exchange a knowing look, Sam can immediately tell exactly what they were thinking. “No, he didn’t make up an excuse to blow me off. Or at least I hope he didn’t, we’ll find out soon.”
“What do you mean?”
“Please welcome, the one, the only, Archer!” With his attention ripped to the stage, Sam waits with bated breath as he watches each member of the band take their place until finally, he was standing right in front of him. With his teased curls, smudged eyeliner, and that tight, silver shirt that clung to his muscles, he looked like an honest to god rockstar. The lead singer’s introduction fizzles into nothingness as Sam’s attention stays on his rockstar completely, watching as he readied his instrument with shaking hands.
When silence falls over the crowd, each band member’s eyes locked on his rockstar expectantly, fear for the man overcomes Sam. He’s lead guitar. He must be starting the song, and he’s freezing up. It’s- unexpected, what with how confident he seemed. Taking a deep breath, the man finally gets his fingers to move, and as the first few notes blare over the speakers, it was like the music took him over completely. His rockstar had so easily allowed the music to consume him, and he looked oh so good doing it.
With his attention fully on fixed on the other man, Sam barely notices the other instruments joining in, their volume only building as they near the first verse. The second their singer finally adds his vocals, Sam watches his rockstar’s confidence grow, his movements becoming more bold and the forced smile on his face slowly transforming into a wide grin. And as the song progresses, a pit begins to grow within Sam, overtaking his body and mind as disappointment crashes over him in waves.
There has to be something between them, no one can have that much chemistry on stage unless they’re fooling around off stage. Forcing himself away from his spiraling thoughts, Sam’s breath catches in his throat at the sight of his rockstar, still completely lost within the music.
Sam didn’t know how to explain it, but he felt absolutely filthy watching him so intently. With his curls bouncing with the beat, his tongue poking out between his teeth in focused exhilaration, and each slight jut of his hips as he moved to the music, Sam felt like he was watching pure pornography. And when it came time for the guitar solo, Sam is filled with pure lust and jealousy when he lifts his guitar to play it in front of him, allowing their singer to grind into the air just beside (and nearly against) his leg.
Their set flies by faster than Sam can process it, his cheeks surely bright red and his jeans becoming tight at the crotch with each solo. Sam knew he could watch him play forever, he wanted to watch him play forever; everything he did seemed to lure Sam deeper and deeper into his trance. Every time he stuck his tongue out, licking the air suggestively, Sam wanted to know what it would feel like against his skin. He needed to see his eyes roll back in not just pleasure of the music, but pleasure of the flesh as well; needed to know what those curls felt like tangled in his grasp. Sam knew he would give anything to have his muscular biceps on either side of his head, holding his body up as he-
“We’ve got one last song for you tonight Mirador! Thank you for coming out, can I get some fucking noise one last time for Archer!?” And just like that, Sam’s train of thought is completely derailed by the lead singer’s words and the eruption of cheers around him. “We got one more song for you tonight, and then we're doing shots at the barrrrrr!” The bar. I can find him after the show and- and what, Sam? Watch him do shots with his “bandmate”. I should just leave.
The second the thought crosses his mind, his rockstar seems to finally notice him in the audience, his eyes locking on Sam’s as an exhilarated grin overtakes his features, freezing Sam in his spot. When the bassist starts them off, followed shortly by the drums as well as both him and the other guitarist, his rockstar’s eyes stay trained on Sam. When their frontman takes the microphone to sing, trying to catch the guitarist’s eye, he still refused to look away and Sam wasn’t about to be the one to break their eye contact. Even if he wanted to, he knew that he physically couldn’t tear his eyes from the other man. It was as if a spell had been put over him, and in that moment, Sam felt like they were the only two people in the room.
Even though his rockstar had already done the backup vocals for every other song, Sam can’t help but feel a rush of excitement as the other man makes his way over to his microphone, his stare still locked on Sam.
“I was made for lovin’ you, baby
You were made for lovin’ me.
And I can’t get enough of you, baby
Can you get enough of me?”
Sam’s eyes don’t even need to leave him to see the look the twins exchange, no doubt having followed the musician’s line of sight straight back to their brother. But he can’t care enough to think about the teasing he knew he would endure later; all he could think, feel, smell, even fucking taste was his rockstar. Fuck the chemistry he had with the lead singer, the other man was looking at Sam like he wanted to eat him alive the second he got off that stage. With each passing minute neither look away until finally, the other man takes a moment to glance down at his guitar for the brief solo, unintentionally poking his tongue out between his teeth in concentration.
The moment it ends, his eyes are back on Sam, as if he was physically drawn to him. Losing all concept of time and space, Sam is surprised when the music fades to nothing and is replaced by cheers and applause around him, ripping himself back to reality abruptly. “Goodnight Mirador, we have been Archer!” Sam’s rockstar takes one last look at him before making his way off the stage and being swept up into an excited celebration with the rest of the band, and it doesn't take long for the crowd around them to dissipate as people refill their drinks and go back to their conversations.
“Alright Sam, I think Jake and I are gonna head over to the Caravel, wanna join us?” Mischief glimmers behind Josh’s eyes as he asks, surely knowing what Sam’s answer would be yet wanting to hear it for himself.
“Actually, I think I’m gonna stick around here for a while, maybe get another drink.”
“Hmmmm, this is very out of character for you, Sammy boy.” Slinging his arm around Sam’s shoulders, Jake tries to keep the amused grin from his face, but the corners of his lips give him away as they twitch in protest. “Could it have anything to do with a certain guitarist?”
“No.” Fuck. Feeling his cheeks burn, Sam only prayed that it was still dim enough in the bar to hide it from his brothers. “Maybe I’m just trying to do what I moved here for; y’know, get out there and have a little fun. Why do you care anyway?”
“Awww don’t get butthurt, Sammy. It’s ok to have a crush.”
Shoving Jake’s arm off himself, Sam can’t help but roll his eyes at the words, annoyance flaring in his chest at his brothers’ teasing. “Fuck off.”
“You know we mean nothing by it. Just stay safe, call the apartment to let us know where you are at the end of the night, and try not to get killed. And for the love of god, wear protection.” A serious sadness flashes behind Josh’s eyes, breaking Sam’s heart ever so slightly, and he tries to push the thought to the back of his mind quickly.
“I will, promise.” Realizing that even though his words were meant to ease his brothers’ anxieties, they also still implied something else that sends a new wave of heated embarrassment to his cheeks. “I- I mean, not like I intend to- with- with anyone. I- I don’t know, we’ll see where the night takes me.” Can they please just leave, already? Hearing a rowdy set of cheers erupt from the bar, Sam glances over to see his rockstar and the rest of his band “toasting”, each holding a lime with a sprinkle of salt on the back of one hand, and a shot of what Sam assumed to be tequila in the other.
“Right. Have fun, Sammy.” As the twins turn to leave him, Sam hears Jake whisper something under his breath, just loud enough for Sam to hear it. “Lord knows he deserves it.”
Jesus Christ. Alright, forget them, just- just what, Sam? Go up to him and flirt with him in front of his entire band? What do you even want to happen? Sam’s question is answered almost immediately as he watches his rockstar recover from his shot, barely wincing and sticking his tongue out with a grin at the bite of the alcohol. Anything. I want anything to happen with him.
Danny didn’t even know how to begin to describe how he had felt on that stage. If he was being honest, he didn’t remember most of it, the rush of pure adrenaline coursing through his body wiping his mind clean. Even if he couldn’t remember their performance, he knew they had done good- maybe even great by the volume of the crowd’s applause and the excitment of his bandmates. It- it was like the music- the sound, was coming straight from me. I could feel it everywhere- pounding in my ears, vibrating through the strings and numbing my fingertips, the pulse of it on the floor. It was incredible.
The second he had stepped off that stage, he felt as if his senses had all been ripped back, no longer needing to focus on his instrument alone. And although he couldn’t help that twinge of anxiety in the back of his mind telling him he needed to look for Sam, he chooses to ignore it and lets Dave drag him to the bar with the others. “Five shots of tequila, on me!”
“Why so generous, huh? What happened to being ‘dirt poor’, David, hm?” Speaking over the cheers from his bandmates, Danny grins at Dave, his tone full of nothing but amusement.
“That was before the gig, now it’s after! Do we not deserve a celebratory shot, Daniel?”
Raising his hands in defeat, Danny shrugs, moving closer to their group as a bartender sets down their shots alongside a bowl of lime slices and a saltshaker. “As long as you’re actually paying.” Grabbing a slice and licking the back of his hand before shaking salt onto the wet skin, Danny takes the shot glass in his other hand, trying to keep it from spilling in the increasingly populated bar.
“To our first gig.” Raising their shots, each member repeats Dave’s words before clinking their glasses together and tapping them on the bar top. Licking the salt, Danny downs the tequila before shoving the lime in his mouth, immediately feeling the heat of the alcohol run down his throat. Trying to keep a straight face, Danny sticks his tongue out, the humid air somehow “cooling” the lingering burn. “Gentlemen, you’re all officially off the clock. Go enjoy the rest of your night. But don’t enjoy it so much you miss practice tomorrow afternoon.”
As the others split off, Dave stays at Danny’s side, draping his arm around his shoulder comfortably. “So, Daniel. What do you think you’ll do with the rest of tonight?”
Find that guy, Sam. If he’s even still here. What if he hated the band and decided to leave before I saw him again? “Dunno. Maybe stick around you if that’s cool.”
“No can-do, Danno. I have a hot date to get to.” Something glimmers behind Dave’s eye, and Danny can’t help but feel a twinge of amusement, knowing his friend was up to no good. “Besides, it looks like you’ve got a shadow.” Following Dave’s small gesture to something behind Danny, he casually glances behind himself until his eyes finally land on Sam about 15 feet from them, seemingly very interested in the bar top in front of him. “Go get, ‘em tiger.”
Before Danny can respond, Dave slaps him on the back encouragingly before leaving in a hurry, making his way through the crowd in an impressive amount of time until he finally disappears within the sea of heads. Fuck. What do I do? Do I look over at him? Do I go talk to him? Should I wait for him to come to me? He came up to me the first time, it’s only fair that I do it this time. Taking a deep breath, Danny turns around, forcing himself to move even as his mind spirals. Slipping into the vacant space beside Sam, Danny is instantly consumed by his presence alone, his mind full of nothing but him.
“You stayed for the show.” Clearly surprising the other man, Danny offers him a small smile as his eyes go wide momentarily, like he hadn’t expected him to see him, let alone come up to talk.
“Oh- uh, yeah. Had to see if your band was shit or not.” Snorting at his response, Danny sees Sam’s instant regret melt away slowly, relaxing against the bar comfortably.
“And were we?”
“No.” An air of awe hangs in his tone, causing a light blush to settle on Danny’s cheeks. “You guys were amazing- you were amazing. Where’d you learn to play like that?”
“Dad taught me acoustic growing up, then I got myself an electric one and figured it out as I went.”
“That’s so cool.” As admiration takes over Sam’s face, glimmering behind his eyes and lighting up his smile, Danny can’t ignore the warmth that blooms in his chest. “So uh, I never got your name.”
“It’s Danny; Danny Wagner,” Extending his hand, anxiety spikes in his chest as Sam’s skin meets his, worried that his hands would be uncomfortably sweaty after their set in the humid bar. Fortunately for him, if Sam had felt how clammy he feared his skin would be, he doesn’t show it, only offering Danny a small smile at their “official” introduction. “Nice to meet you.”
“The pleasure is mine, Mr. Wagner.” Overplaying his actions, Sam’s free hand comes to rest on his chest, batting his eyelashes up at the other man before dropping his act. Focusing on that lopsided grin Danny was becoming very fond of seeing, he tries not to read too much into the fact that Sam still hadn’t dropped his hand. “So uh, do you maybe want to… I don’t know…”
He wants to leave but is too nervous to suggest it- how cute. “It is getting a bit crowded in here. Plus, I’d like to have a conversation with you where I don’t have to shout over the music.” With a gentle smile, Danny offers Sam’s hand a light squeeze, seeming to cause his anxieties to screech to a halt. “We could go to another bar, or one of our places. Think it’s too late for any restaurants to be open.”
Although it was too dim to be sure, Danny could swear that Sam’s cheeks went bright pink at the suggestion of going back to one of their homes, watching as the other man swallows hard before trying to match his smile. “I’m currently crashing on my brother’s couch right now so…”
“My place it is.” Still sensing the other man’s nerves, Danny is filled with fear momentarily that he was making Sam feel forced into going back to his place. The last thing he wanted to do was to make Sam uncomfortable. “You sure? We don’t have to.”
“Mhm. Can I use your phone to call my brothers, let them know that I’m at yours for at least a little bit?”
“Course you can. You drive here?”
“Taxi. We knew that none of us would be sober enough to drive home. Is your place far?”
Ever so slightly shifting his fingers so that they intertwine with Sam’s, Danny offers him another small smile as he tries to remember exactly where he had left his guitar and clothes backstage, wanting to leave as soon as possible. “Na, it’s about a five-minute walk if you’re alright with that.”
“Lead the way, Danny.” Needing no other persuasion, Danny barely catches the grin flash across Sam’s face before he all but drags him through the sea of people. He doesn’t stop their path until they’re fully backstage, doing his best to collect his things without getting in the way of the other bands bustling around the space. Deciding to give the shirt back to Dave the next day, Danny grabs his t-shirt and flannel with one hand as the other finds the handle of his guitar case, trying not to be too disappointed by the fact that both his hands were now full.
But before he can get too upset, Sam’s slender fingers circle his wrist as they weave back through the crowd and towards the exit, his touch sending electricity coursing through his veins. The freshness of the cool night air is almost too much for his lungs as they finally make their way onto the street, but he takes a deep breath anyway, using the burn as a distraction from his growing stream of worries. What is he expecting from this? What does he want from this night, from me?
Unfortunately for Danny, their walk back to his place is slightly awkward as they remain silent, neither knowing what to say to fill the “quiet” of the city night. After what felt like ages, they finally arrive at Danny’s apartment complex, and with every passing flight of stairs up to his floor, he feels as if his stomach was doing somersaults as he tries to remember how clean the main areas of the apartment were. With five musicians who all worked long hours during the day and filled their nights with practice, it was common that their living room looked as if a tornado had blown through it.
Moving his shirts to sandwich them between his arm and ribs, Danny unlocks the door, and relief floods him at the sight. The apartment was still a mess, and Danny felt that undeniable tinge of embarrassment as Sam follows him in, but it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. There were only a few empty beer and liquor bottles scattered around the living room and kitchen, but the couches and floors were mostly free of their many discarded attempts at gig outfits. “Sorry about the mess, phone is in the kitchen, I’m gonna go put my guitar away. My room’s the one straight down at the end of the hall to the left, right across from the bathroom.”
Unable to decipher the small smile that Sam offers him before turning to find the phone, Danny does all he can to keep himself from sprinting down to his room, even more worried about the state it was in than he had been about the shared area. As soon as he plugs in the old Christmas lights strung around the ceiling and sets his guitar case down, Danny darts around the room as quietly as possible, finding every dirty piece of laundry he had thrown on the floor or his bed in laziness or exhaustion and chucking them into his hamper. He barely has enough time to straighten the last of his room out before the floorboards creak mere feet from his door, and Danny whips around with what he hoped was a cool smile to see Sam standing in the doorway, his eyes sweeping over every inch of the space.
He's not- he isn’t saying anything. Is it bad? Does he not like it? He follows Sam’s eyes carefully as they roam over the multitude of band posters and paraphernalia covering the walls, over to his overflowing vinyl collection, and finally stop on his acoustic and spare electric guitar hanging by his door. “This is- it’s- so cool. My room’s never been this… personal. Not even when I actually had one.”
“You like it?” Hope flares in Danny’s chest momentarily, and he can’t help but blush at his apparent need for approval from the other man, only hoping that Sam hadn’t noticed it yet.
“I love it.” Wandering over to the vinyl's, Sam begins flipping through them and Danny’s breath catches in his throat watching those slender fingers carefully dance across the thick paper. Suddenly, Sam’s eyebrows shoot up as he stops, looking over to Danny with amused surprise clear on his face. “Didn’t peg you as the kind of guy that’d listen to Neil Young.” Flipping away from Harvest, Sam’s smile only grows when he sees American Fool. “And John Cougar. I mean the KISS, Metallica, Guns N’ Roses and all that makes sense, but country music? You?”
“Folk- folk rock; I don’t do country music. And John Cougar is rock, just not hard rock. Just because I’m in a ‘hard’ rock band doesn’t mean I can’t branch out.” Matching Sam’s smile, Danny closes the distance between them as Sam resumes his flipping.
After a few seconds, Sam pauses again, tilting the album cover so that Danny could see it. “What’s this one? Never heard of them before.”
Fuck. Ok, yeah that one is technically kind of “country”, but not in the way he’d assume. “That’s uh- Our Mother the Mountain, Townes Van Zandt. It’s- ok that one is kind of bluesy folk/country.” Seeing the smug grin already twisting Sam’s lips, Danny rushes to continue. “But it isn’t like mainstream country, not like Dolly Parton or Willie Nelson… which are both bad examples because I like them too- anyway-” What now? What happens next? “Do you uh- what do you want to do?” As hard as he tries, Danny was sure that his nerves had seeped into his tone, trying to silence the anxieties plaguing his mind that he was being too forward or assuming too much.
Saying nothing, Sam saunters over to Danny’s bed, plopping down onto the edge of it before patting the comforter beside him. “To talk. If that’s alright.”
“Yeah, yeah of course it is.” Awkwardly placing himself at Sam’s side, Danny feels every muscle in his body tense, unsure on how physically close he should be for whatever conversation the other man wanted to have. “Talk about what?”
“Just talk.” Moving his hands behind him to lean back, Danny relaxes ever so slightly at Sam’s comforting smile and calm demeanor, figuring that if it was a bad conversation, Sam wouldn’t be so laid-back. “I like to get to know guys before we do anything, I hope that’s not a problem.”
Feeling his cheeks heat, Danny’s eyes shoot up to Sam’s, completely entranced by the mischievous glimmer behind them that seemed to beacon him in. “No- yeah, no that’s not a problem.” Ok, take that need to rip his clothes off right now and just- just turn it into something else, Danny. Don’t make him uncomfortable. “Want me to put some music on? I have some wine somewhere, but it’s probably cheap. I got some grass if you smoke.”
“Nothing else?” Does he think I use other drugs? That I’m just another coked-up rocker?
“Nope. I don’t trust anything else. Weed’s a natural plant, and the only negative side affects I’ll probably ever experience is from smoking, but I already smoke cigarettes so.” Unsure on if Sam had given an answer to his offer, Danny glances around his room just in case, looking for the ash tray that he knew had most of a joint in it. “Have you smoked before?”
“My brothers let me join them the day I turned 15.” Sam almost laughs the words out, and Danny takes that as a sign that it was safe to assume he would be fine grabbing the joint. Leaving Sam momentarily, Danny finds the ash tray on his dresser, thankful that he had left a lighter right next to it.
Sitting back down slightly closer to Sam, Danny reaches behind himself to crack the window open before setting in on lighting the twisted paper at the end. “You the youngest?” Finally seeing the tip go red, Danny takes a long drag, letting the smoke settle in his lungs, sending the tiniest waves of relaxation through his body.
“Yup. My brothers are the oldest, twins, then I have an older sister too. What about you, you got any siblings?” Passing the joint to Sam, Danny’s eyes wander to his lips, watching as the other man brings the filter up to meet them.
“Yeah, little sister. She’s off at Harvard studying law, making something of her life and all that.”
“Your parents don’t approve of you being a rockstar?”
Trying not to scoff at his words, Danny takes another hit, thankful that he had finally begun to feel his first hit settle into his bones. “I don’t know if I’d call myself a ‘rockstar’, Sammy. Not yet at least. And- and no, but also yes? They thought it was cute when I played guitar in my middle and high school bands, but then when Senior year rolled around and I didn’t have a ‘backup plan’, they found out I had no intention of going to college and kind of freaked out. They didn’t directly say that our band wasn’t good enough to actually ‘make it’, but I know that’s how they felt.” Realizing how heavy their conversation had become because of his words, Danny takes another drag from the joint, trying not to meet Sam’s eyes as he passes it to him again.
“That’s why you came to LA.” His words come off as a statement rather than a question, causing Danny to finally tear his gaze back up to Sam’s.
“Yeah. We knew that if we stayed in Michigan, we wouldn’t go anywhere. Figured that LA would be the best place to finally get noticed.” Clearing his throat in hopes of at least breaking the silence that hung heavy in the air, Danny forces a smile onto his face. “Isn’t as good of a story as moving here for ‘sex, drugs, or rock and roll’ though. Gotta preserve my stage image, y’know.”
“I like this Danny better.” Sam’s words are earnest, and Danny feels a pang in his chest from the way the other man was looking at him. There was no judgement, no disappointment like Danny worried there would be. Instead, Sam’s eyes shone with kindness and understanding, a soft comfort deep within his gaze that truly put Danny at ease.
“What about you? I’ve talked so much about myself, now it’s your turn. You really move here to try the city life, or did you need to escape the Midwest too?”
Absentmindedly offering the joint back to Danny, Sam picks at the throw blanket covering the bed. “Both I guess. Life wasn’t bad back in Michigan; my family was accepting that I wanted to major in Theology even though it’s not exactly a ‘safe’ choice, didn’t charge me rent or anything. I just knew I wanted to see more, experience more, y’know? And I missed my brothers, but don’t tell them I said that.”
Danny takes one last drag before turning the filter towards Sam, holding it out for him to do the same. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.” Instead of taking the joint from Danny, Sam makes direct eye contact with him before leaning in, his lips brushing Danny’s fingertips as he holds it, trying to keep his jaw from dropping at the sight before him. Sam’s time at Mirador had slightly frizzed his waves, and the weed coursing through him left his eyes droopy and tired, a lazy smile playing across his lips as he pulls away, exhaling the smoke. He is absolutely gorgeous.
For a moment, Sam drops his defenses, allowing his eyes to drift back to Danny’s lips as the thought of kissing him right then and there nearly consumes his mind. Don’t let your heart get broken again, Sam. You need- you need to be sure he isn’t some rocker asshole that’s just playing vulnerable to get in your pants. Forcing himself off the bed suddenly, Sam strolls over to his vinyl collection, his plan slowly forming in his head as he flips through the records. “Mind if we put something on?”
“No- uh, that’s fine.” He sounds hesitant, nervous… Sam focuses on his task completely, not allowing himself even one glance over at the other man even as he got up to put the ashtray aside, stretching to reach it and causing his tight shirt to ride up ever so slightly, exposing the curve of his- Fuck. Focus, focus. Find a fucking album to play. Wait, what was that one? Flipping back to the previous LP to find Our Mother the Mountain, Sam knew he just had to hear this “not country” music Danny seemed to like so much.
“I guess I’ll be the judge if it’s just country music or ‘bluesy/folk country’.” Lowering the needle, Sam glances over at Danny with a small grin as the first few notes play. When the singer’s voice croons through the speaker, Sam almost can’t contain his grin, his cheeks already beginning to feel sore. I really have been smiling a lot tonight. It’s just the weed, I always get smiley and giggly. Or- or it’s because of him. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is country music, Danny.”
Sam catches the other man roll his eyes before his own gaze gravitates to Danny’s lips, his grin shining bright even in the dim lighting. “This song’s a bad example.”
“Right. I didn’t say it was bad, just that it was country.” Beginning to sway to the music, an idea slowly forms in Sam’s head, needing a few seconds to process it in his inebriated state until he finally gets his body to move. Extending his hand towards Danny, he watches as the other man’s confusion flits across his relaxed expression. “Dance with me.”
“What?”
“You heard me,” Sam closes the distance between them, his laugh resembling more of a giggle as he nearly collides with the bed. “I said dance with me. Please?”
“I’m a bad dancer.”
“So am I.”
“I’m high.”
“So am I.” Grasping his hands, he halfheartedly tries to encourage Danny to stand, fearing that it came off as desperate pleas. “No one else will see, if that’s what you’re worried about. I didn’t get to dance with you at the bar, so technically you owe me.”
“Oh, I do now?” Danny’s eyebrows shoot up as a surprised smile finds his lips, finally allowing Sam to pull him up and towards what little empty space they had. “One, I was the one playing, so I couldn’t have danced with you, and two, this might not be the best album for dancing like you would at a bar, Sammy.”
“And what if I just wanted this?” Moving Danny’s hands to his waist before dragging his own up the exposed expanse of Danny’s arms, they stop on his shoulders, pulling him towards himself slightly. Looking up at him through his lashes, Sam waits with bated breath for Danny’s response, noticing the freckles dotting his nose and cheeks for the first time thanks to their proximity. Cute.
“That’s alright too.”
A wave of calm passes over Sam as he relaxes in Danny’s arms, gently swaying to the song and feeling as if the music itself was flowing through his body. “What’s this one called?”
“Be Here to Love Me.” Before Sam knows it, Danny begins humming to the lyrics, seeming to find his place as he quietly sings along.
“But who cares what the night watchmen say?
The stage has been set for the play.
So just hold me and tell me you’ll be here to love me today.”
With his lips were parted ever so slightly as he looks up at him in admiration, Sam feels his cheeks heat, realizing that their noses were mere inches from the other. It would be so easy to just lean forward and- “You’re full of surprises tonight, aren’t you? You got a beautiful voice, you know?”
“Stop- you don’t- thank you, Sammy.” Sam had never believed in love at first sight, but when Danny melts under the praise, his cheeks burning bright red as a shy smile twists his lips, he knew that he had found the closest thing to it. With Danny, he felt safe. He didn’t know how else to describe it other than that. Sam had been so reluctant to give into his own wants because he feared that Danny’s “soft interior” had been an act, just something to get into his pants. Too many guys had already pulled that with Sam, and he knew very well by now what to look out for. But Danny, he was different. Sure, on stage he was just like every other Rockstar Sex God, but alone with Sam, he was simply a shy, kind soul who stood before Sam truly embarrassed over the compliment on his musical abilities.
“Will you- will you kiss me, Danny?” The words leave his mouth before he can even process the thought, but he feels no regret as a small smile breaks through Danny’s surprise and he closes the distance between their lips. Electricity crackles on Sam’s skin at every point of contact with the other man, sending fireworks shooting through his body and making him feel lighter than air. But at the same time, Danny’s touch grounded him to the moment, to him.
One of his hands had quickly found the small of Sam’s back, pulling him into himself until their fronts are pressed firmly against the other, and Sam’s heartrate skyrockets when he feels the growing tent in Danny’s jeans ever so slightly grind into his own. With Danny’s other hand cupping his jaw and tilting his face upwards, Sam melts into his touch, deepening their kiss as the other man gently licks across his bottom lip. The bite that follows takes Sam by surprise, and he can’t prevent the quiet moan that escapes him, his hips involuntarily bucking forward to mix his pain and pleasure.
Tangling his fingers in Danny’s frizzed out curls, Sam gives them a quick tug at the roots, and he doesn't miss the small groan that follows. The energy between them becomes urgent, almost needy as Danny’s tongue slips in between Sam’s lips, desperately licking into his mouth as if he were a starved man. Before Sam knows it, Danny's backing him towards his bed slowly, his guidance gentle and soft despite how Sam knew he must be feeling. He's giving me an ‘out’. He's letting me know that I can easily stop this if I want. Just before the backs of Sam’s knees hit the edge of the mattress, Danny stops, and he removes his lips from Sam’s only to work his way down to the open expanse of his neck. Weaving his hands into his waves, Danny repeats Sam’s earlier motions as he gives a handful of his hair a light yank, and Sam could feel the other man smile against his skin.
Untangling his fingers, Danny moves his hands down Sam’s sides until they find the hem of his blouse, toying with the fabric between his fingertips as he removes his lips from Sam’s neck. “Can I take this off?”
“Only if yours comes off too.”
Grinning wolfishly at him, Danny’s eyes don’t leave Sam’s as he pulls the tight fabric up and over his head, discarding it on the floor without even a second glance. For a moment, Sam entirely forgets just how he got Danny to shed his top as his eyes rake over the other man’s body. If he had been able to will his body to move, his hands would have immediately found those broad shoulders, would have slowly dragged his hands across his chest, following that delicate trail of hair until- “You forget our agreement, Sammy?”
Danny’s voice rips Sam back into the moment, his eyes darting up to the other man’s face as he realizes Danny knew exactly what he was thinking about. Feeling his cheeks heat, Sam sweeps through his mind as fast as he can for any comeback. “You asked if you could take my shirt off, remember? You never asked me to take it off.”
Cocking an eyebrow at him, Danny closes the space between them, his hands instantly finding the silk as something Sam can’t quite place glimmers behind his eyes. The second his top is gone, Danny finds Sam’s bare sides, pulling him flush against him as their lips meet once more. Sam doesn't even feel Danny’s hand drifting back up into his hair, too distracted by each sharp bite and soft, soothing swipe of Danny’s tongue against his bottom lip until the other man pulls hard enough to just barely break their kiss. “Didn’t expect you to be such a brat, but it makes sense now.”
Letting out a shallow gasp at his words and the pain spiking through his scalp, he recovers quickly, needing to see what else he could say to provoke the other man into getting what they both wanted. Even with his head tilted back, Sam forces his eyes to Danny’s, a mischievous smile playing across his lips. “Is that gonna be a problem?”
“No.” Danny’s grip loosens, and Sam takes the opportunity to lean closer to him, his gaze alternating between the other man’s lips and eyes.
“Do you have protection?”
“Yeah.”
“Then why don’t you go on and fuck me already?”
“Why don’t you shut the fuck up and be patient?” Danny’s tone is low and sultry, surprising Sam when his hand finds his neck, applying the slightest amount of pressure as he locks his eyes on Sam’s.
“Maybe I would if you didn’t take so goddamn long.” Sam practically pants the words out, fearing that Danny would mistake his anticipatory shivers as those of fear. But beneath the steeled expression on his face, Danny’s eyes were still just as soft and warm as they had been when they were dancing. Before he knows it, Danny’s hands leave Sam’s skin and find the button of his jeans, his expression unfaltering.
“Take these off.” Although he was embarrassed to admit it, the second the words leave Danny’s mouth, Sam kicks off his shoes, trying not to seem too eager as he pulls his jeans off. “Get on the bed.”
Positioning himself in the center of the bed, Sam props himself up on his elbows as he looks up at Danny, feeling too-exposed in just his briefs. “Fucking finally.”
Just as he had begun to get his hopes up, Danny crushes them, offering Sam a sly smirk and leaving him to retrieve what appeared to be a square of fabric. “Maybe this will keep you quiet.” Sam has mere seconds to catch a glimpse of it, realizing that it in fact a grey handkerchief before Danny folds it into a strip, pressing it against Sam’s lips until he has no choice but to open his mouth. His mind goes blank as he locks his eyes on Danny’s concentrated expression, the other man focused on tying it behind his head, careful not to catch or pull any stray hairs. Danny’s lips find the soft skin of Sam’s neck as soon as the handkerchief is secure, slotting himself between his legs and grinding his hips into Sam’s.
Sam doesn’t even know what he was trying to say as a moan leaves his lips, his words muffled by the fabric between his teeth. At the sound, Danny lightly nips his skin, soothing it with his tongue quickly before setting in on working a mark onto his neck. As his mouth moves up, towards his jaw, Sam’s eyes nearly roll back when Danny finds an especially sensitive spot. Paired with the steady pace of Danny’s hips pleasure courses through him, but it’s not long before Sam feels frustration begin to take seed within him. I just- need him to fuck me. I can’t take this any longer.
Attempting to make another snippy comment about how long he was taking, it comes off more as a needy whine, catching Danny’s attention and causing him to lean back. The second Danny’s eyes meet his, Sam focuses all the words he wanted to say into his pleading gaze, not caring if it made him look pathetic. For a moment, he can’t tell if Danny would give in yet as the other man brings his hand up to Sam’s jaw, dragging the pad of his thumb across his bottom lip with an unreadable expression. “Do you want me to, what did you say again? ‘Go on and fuck you already’?”
Nodding frantically, Sam’s embarrassment is forgotten almost instantly at Danny’s wolfish grin, and the other man slowly grinds his hips down one last time before leaving Sam to close his door. His confusion only lasts a moment before Danny turns towards his dresser, quickly finding a condom and bottle of lube. Tossing them at Sam’s side, Danny sheds his boots and jeans before climbing back onto the bed, kneeling between his legs as he pulls all but his bangs back into a loose bun at the crown of his head. As the other man’s hands begin to wander up, over his waistband and continuing to his sides, Sam was sure that Danny could hear how loud his heart was beating, pounding in his skull with anticipation.
“Tap me three times if you want me to stop, ok?” His eyes find Sam’s, and even through the glaze of his high, Danny’s still shone with a deep seriousness at his words, waiting for Sam to respond. Offering him a small nod and a light squeeze to his forearm hoping that it came off as reassuring, Sam melts at the expression of care on Danny’s face, somehow further relaxing into the mattress. Lowering his body again to whisper his words into Sam’s ear, Sam fights the urge to squirm underneath him as a stray curl tickles his cheek, Danny’s warm breath fanning across his skin and sending shivers down his spine. “You look so good like this.”
Sam lets out another whine, and it slowly transforms into a deep groan as he bucks his hips up to meet Danny’s. His skin is set alight with a raging fire when Danny drags his hands down Sam’s sides, his lips trailing across his neck and down to his chest before moving to his stomach. Toying with the edge of his waistband, Danny meets Sam’s eyes, his expression full of pure want, yet still serious and full of care nonetheless. “Can I take these off?”
Once again, Sam responds with a sharp nod, his anticipation consuming his mind entirely. As the other man slowly pulls his briefs off, quickly finding his place between Sam’s legs, his right hand comes up to grip Sam’s thigh. Moving his left arm over Sam’s leg, Danny’s forearm rests gently on the arch of his hip bone, grasping Sam in his hand. Pumping up and down a few times, the friction causes Sam to wince, and Danny finally brings his lips to circle his tip delicately. Even though his head had fallen back to rest on the pillow, his eyes barely open and looking up at the posters on the ceiling above him, Sam could still feel Danny’s gaze trained on him as he ever so slightly bobs his head up and down.
The movement is quick, the feeling fleeting before Danny removes his mouth again, but it’s enough to make Sam’s back arch off the bed, eliciting a breathy moan that transforms into a whine at the loss of contact. Before he knows it, Danny completely sinks down onto him, and the sound that leaves Sam’s mouth is filthy as his eyes roll to the back of his head. When Danny sets a steady pace, Sam’s hands find his hair, doing his best not to ruin the bun as he grasps at the curls. Faintly recognizing the sound of Danny uncapping the lube, he feels every muscle in his body tense with exhilaration at what he guessed was to come. Circling Sam’s entrance with a fingertip, Danny keeps his pace steady as his mouth moves up and down before slowly pressing his middle finger into him.
Thankful that his dignity had left him long ago and that the handkerchief muffled the volume of his moan, Sam is overcome with pleasure, his mind blank and body numb from it as Danny’s mouth and hand move in synchronicity. Danny adds a second finger, bringing a whimper from Sam as he fears he would finish too fast if the other man didn’t pick his pace up. After a few minutes, each one lasting an eternity to Sam as he writhes on the bed grasping onto anything that would help him last longer, Danny’s pointer finger joins the other two on his next thrust. Ripping Danny’s head away, Sam feels a slight tinge of guilt at his hiss of pain, having used his grip in the other man’s hair to take himself out of his mouth.
“Too much?” Danny removes his fingers, clearly misunderstanding the reason for Sam’s intervention. Roughly shaking his head, Sam arches his back, desperately trying to press himself back down onto Danny’s fingers. Quickly understanding exactly what Sam wanted, Danny leans back, wiping his hand on the blanket beneath them before shedding his own boxers. Well- now I know why he took so long with prep- Jesus fuck. Watching intently as Danny rolls the condom on, Sam feels Danny’s eyes trained directly on him, too far gone to care about getting “caught” staring. Letting out a quiet groan at the contact as he spreads the lube over his dick, Danny places his left hand just above Sam’s shoulder, holding himself up as he presses his tip against Sam’s entrance.
Finally meeting Danny’s eyes, his heart skips a beat as Sam takes in his tender gaze, overcome with a need so strong that he didn’t know what to do with himself. Resting his hands on Danny’s hips, he offers a gentle, almost desperate squeeze, trying to pull his body closer. Sam barely has time to catch the way Danny’s mouth falls open ever so slightly before his own eyes roll back, lost within his satisfaction of finally getting what he wanted. Whimpering as Danny buries himself completely in him, Sam’s back arches off the bed, pressing his now-neglected dick between their stomachs for any relief. To Sam’s dismay, Danny quickly pushes his hips back down to the bed, his thrusts still steady and inching Sam towards his high.
But before he can complain at the loss of contact, Danny’s hand wraps around Sam’s cock, covered in lube and pumping in time with his hips. He knew he was done for when Danny drops to his elbow, bracing himself against the mattress beside Sam’s head as his lips find the sensitive skin of his neck. With his hands splaying across the expanse of Danny’s broad shoulders, Sam digs his nails into the muscle, his last-ditch effort at keeping himself from reaching his tipping point. Danny sinks his teeth into the top of Sam’s shoulder in retaliation, his thrusts becoming faster and rougher as he works marks onto his skin. If he’s the reason I’m forced to wear turtlenecks for the next week, I'm gonna be so mad.
“You feel so good, baby.” The words are enough to make Sam forget all previous concern of being left with too visible hickeys, and he can’t push away the feeling growing within him any longer as he finally topples over the edge, his release coating his stomach with a pornographic moan. Despite the overstimulation creeping into his body, Sam holds on for just a few moments longer, feeling the other man’s pace beginning to falter as he too neared his high. It only takes a few more thrusts for Danny’s mouth to fall open, his eyes squeezing shut as he tries to carry himself through it.
Danny’s hand relaxes around Sam, drifting lazily to his hip as his forehead drops to rest on Sam’s shoulder. After taking a few deep breaths, Danny pulls himself from Sam with a hiss before wiping his hand on the blanket and untying the handkerchief. He places a gentle kiss to Sam’s lips, and the way that Danny looks down at him in the moments following steals Sam’s breath entirely. Although he was still bewildered at Danny’s continuing care, it was that one look that kept Sam from feeling nervous even as the other man got up.
“Do you want to go clean up first, Sammy?” Despite the fact that he was putting the lube away and discarding their condom, Danny’s tone was casually comfortable, as if they hadn’t done what they just did.
“Uh no, it’s ok. I need a minute.”
“That’s alright.” Grabbing his boxers, Danny finds Sam’s side again, offering his thigh a gentle squeeze. “You ok? Do you need anything?”
Sam can’t help the smile that finds his lips, waving Danny away to further “prove” that it was ok for him to go. “No, no. It’s alright.”
Putting his boxers back on, Danny offers Sam one last small, playful smile, and it doesn’t take long for Sam to realize just why it carried a hint of amusement. “Don’t go anywhere.” Snorting at the stupid joke, Sam lets himself completely relax onto the bed and he closes his eyes as the door creaks open and closed. Allowing himself a few more deep breaths, Sam rips his eyes open again, propping himself up on his elbows as he takes in his surroundings. Despite the slight spike of panic in his chest remembering just who and what Danny was, he pushes the thoughts to the side, knowing that his rockstar truly was different. This wouldn’t be some one-night stand; no, Danny had shown him too much care for it to be nothing more than a quick fuck. Or at least he hoped so.
Sam forces himself to move despite the exhaustion riddling his body, and he uses the blanket below him to wipe what he can from his stomach. Gotta remember to shower tomorrow morning. I’m too tired to care right now and’ll get more in the bathroom in a minute. Realizing that Danny could walk back in at any moment, Sam gets up, finding his briefs and slipping them on quickly. Guilt flares in his chest as he looks back at the blanket, realizing just how large of a mess they had made of it, and he carefully folds it up just in time for the door to creak open again.
Sam feels heat rush to his cheeks as he turns towards Danny, the blanket in hand as he looks everywhere except Danny’s eyes. “We uh- got a little on the blanket...”
Only laughing in response, Danny closes the distance between them to take the fabric, throwing it into a hamper with barely a glance over. “Don’t worry about it, that’s why it’s there.”
What? “So, you knew you’d go home with someone tonight?” Please say no.
“A man can hope.”
Unable to help the disappointment welling up in the pit of his stomach, Sam only offers him a small nod, his eyes to the floor. “Do you have a shirt I can borrow?”
“Uh, yeah. One sec.” Danny roots around in his dresser for a moment before pulling out a ball of fabric, handing it to Sam with an embarrassed look. “I swear it’s clean, I just... hadn’t gotten around to folding it yet.” Just as Sam turns to leave, Danny’s voice stops him in his tracks, and he brings his gaze back up to meet the other man’s eyes. “I was just joking by the way. I don’t keep a blanket on the bed just in case I bring someone home. To be honest, it’s only there cause sometimes I don’t like the feeling of my comforter and I need to switch to a different texture.” Letting out a nervous, sheepish laugh, Danny rubs the back of his neck, and Sam notices for the first time that he had cleaned up his bun for sleep. “This isn’t normal for me- I don’t usually take people home right after meeting them. I don’t sleep around if that’s what you’re worried about, and I'm- I'm sorry if i made you feel like that’s just what this was.”
“It’s alright, Danny.” Reaching out to gently place his hand on the other man’s shoulder, Sam offers him a soft smile. “Thank you for the clarification, though.” Unravelling the shirt to reveal a very large Pink Floyd band tee, Sam’s smile only grows as his eyes dart up to Danny. “You like them too?”
“Hell yeah, The Wall is one of my favorite albums.”
“Then I’d say that makes you a man with very good music taste.” Slipping the shirt on, Sam offers Danny a light kiss to his cheek before making his way towards the door. “I’m gonna go clean up. Where's the bathroom again?”
“Right across the hall. We should be the only ones home right now.”
Offering him a small smile and a quiet “thanks”, Sam leaves the room as quiet as he can, slipping into the bathroom quickly and bracing his back against the door after locking it. Covering his face with his hands as if there were anyone else in the room to see his lopsided grin, Sam tries to compose himself. Fuck I feel like a stupid teenager with a crush. What is it about this guy? Although he knew he would be embarrassed to admit it, Sam cleans up as fast as he can while still being thorough, eager to get back to his rockstar’s arms. Flicking the light off as he leaves, Sam finds that Danny had put on a pair of red flannel sleep pants, now busy at his bed, moving the comforter aside and rearranging the pillows to accommodate for two.
Noticing Sam as he grabbed the ashtray and lighter again, Danny offers him a smile as Sam closes the door behind them. “Wanna smoke a little before sleeping?” Making his way over to his bed again, Danny plops down on the edge of the mattress, patting the space beside him invitingly.
“Yeah, thanks.” Sam offers him a lazy smile as he joins him on the bed, watching as the other man relights the tip and takes a long drag. When Danny holds it out for Sam, he doesn’t take it, simply leaning forward until his lips brush against his fingertips and inhaling. Seeing that Danny had blown his smoke out the still cracked window, Sam does the same, realizing the room was quieter than he remembered it to be. “The music stopped.”
Taking another hit, Danny repeats his motions for Sam, smiling as his eyes remain on Sam’s lips. “I put it away. Not sure how long it was looping on the run-out groove before I stopped it.” Absentmindedly running his fingers though his hair, Sam catches a knot and winces slightly as he moves his other hand to untangle it. “Want me to braid it? So it doesn’t tangle in the night.”
“You know how to braid hair?”
Danny gives the joint to Sam alongside the ashtray, leaving him to grab a hair tie off his dresser before plopping back down onto the bed. “I have a younger sister and have been growing my hair out since I moved outta Michigan, of course I know how to braid. Turn around please.” Moving to sit crisscross in front of the other man before brushing his hair back with his free hand, Sam lets his eyes close as Danny gently combs through his hair with his fingers. Bringing the filter to his lips, Sam takes one last, long hit before extinguishing the faint glow on the ceramic in his hand. After a few seconds, Sam exhales the smoke, the comforting feeling of Danny carefully weaving his hair into a clean braid and the weed coursing through his system lulling him towards sleep.
Before he knows it, Danny offers him a light kiss on the back of his shoulder, giving the other a brief squeeze as he takes the ashtray from Sam. Leaving only to return it to his dresser and unplug the lights, Danny maneuvers around Sam to get to the side of the bed closest to the wall, slipping under the covers and holding the comforter up for him. Sam hesitates only for a moment before turning to face Danny as he lays down, using the other man’s outstretched bicep as a pillow, but still unsure on just how much contact Danny was alright with. As if he had read his mind, Danny lowers the comforter over their bodies, pulling Sam flush against him before relaxing into the mattress.
“I’d like to take you on a real date sometime, if that’s alright.”
“I’d love that, Danny.” Tilting his face upwards, Sam catches Danny’s lips, indulging himself in one last, slow kiss before burying his face into the other man’s neck with a heavy sigh. Sam all but melts against the other man, the warmth radiating from his skin only drawing him in more.
Already falling asleep, Danny’s voice rips Sam back to near consciousness, his amused tone soft in the quiet of the night. “Did I end up being worth your time?”
Although he knew Danny couldn’t see his face, a tired grin splits Sam’s lips, and he presses his body closer as he lets himself to drift towards sleep once more. “Yeah, yeah you did.”
