I still think I should be able to adopt orphan otters

fun fact about the next avengers film being filmed in edinburgh: they’ve blocked off certain areas which is disrupting one specific postal van’s delivery route which is in turn leading to an awkward stand-off at the police station because Marvel Studios might be a billion dollar company but this man really wants to do his job and apparently interfering with the course of the Royal Mail technically counts as treason so they’re at a stalemate

this is the best thing i’ve heard all day

If the devil has a pitchfork and the grim reaper has a scythe, is agriculture a major industry in the underworld?

Thanks to Persephone it is

there is no purer moment that a human can experience than when ur petting ur dog and they kinda squint their eyes, tilt their head back, do that adorable toothy dog smile & let you pet them while they just chill and feel the love…nothing better. that is top tier. ultimate wholesomeness

These are actually perfect examples of an actual dog smile!

There is no unskilled labor, only undervalued skills.

fyi I did not order this on purpose knowing it was like this I just ordered a cheap stranger things shirt and this showed up

“WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS NONSENSE MEAN STEPHENIE”

kristen stewart had enough

“People don’t sound like wind chimes, Stephenie”

Nobody on this planet hates Twilight as much as the cast of Twilight and I respect and admire them for that.

Omfg this is of that kid he looks exactly the same

Breaking News: Bisexual Woman is Still Bisexual, Editors Still Sniffing Glue.

this still cracks me up like can you imagine you’re 130 years old and suddenly a gigantic alien baby starts following you around

Make that movie Pixar

so if in the soulmate au the very first words your soulmate ever says to you are tattooed somewhere on your body since the day you are born imagine having something like ‘man I cant believe dumbledore died’ tattooed on you. imagine being spoiled for a book series that doesnt even exist yet. imagine worrying about this dumbledore guy your whole childhood while not knowing who he is. imagine knowing dumbledore dies before jk rowling even thinks about it.

Everybody go home, this is my favorite soulmate au

So you finally find your soulmate. After years of knowing that dumbledore dies and the entire franchise being ruined, you find him. You’re in the theatre, dumbledore is dead and you hear it. ‘Man I can’t believe dumbledore died’ by a guy walking right by you and in you’re rage you shout ‘You! You’re the one!’ The guy stops, looks at you, his own arm to read the words, then back at you and he says, “That’s not really how I imagined that being said”

It got better