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@shadowyyyidk
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THERE’S A 104 DAYS OF SUMMER VACATION
AND SCHOOL COMES ALONG JUST TO END IT
SO THE ANNUAL PROBLEM FOR OUR GENERATION IS FINDING A GOOD WAY TO SPEND IT… LIKE MAYBE
fishingboatproceeds:
SACRIFICING YOUR FAMILY TO SATAN
Is that John Green?
That’s John Green.
THE AMOUNT OF TIMES THIS HAS SHOWED UP ON MY DASH AND I NEVER NOTICED THAT IT WAS JOHN GREEN THAT SAID THAT!
April 2nd, 2013
don't go into the humanities because they're unprofitable and don't go into stem cuz its getting torn apart right now and don't go into buisness because it's competetive and speculative and don't go into education because it pays like shit. Just lay on thr ground. Just lay on the ground.
and if you turn to ur left you’ll see the emos
is that my chemical romance?
OH MY GOD not every group of emos is my chemical romance stfu tumblr
but it actually is my chemical romance
this is the funniest fuckibg thing I’ve ever seen
I’ve…. seen this everywhere except on Tumblr itself. It’s the blessed post.
walking around the dashboard at four in the morning stepping on all the creaking posts loud as fuck

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it’d be cool to speak like 20 different languages & keep it a secret from everyone & then during a time of crisis, u could speak some fluent russian to some russian guy holding a gun to your head & all your friends will be like daaamn
May 22, 2013
Actually when I say “fuck all billionaires” I particularly mean Taylor “having my wedding in the middle of the busiest city in the world on the busiest weekend in the world in the part of the city the majority of commuters need to get through because fuck working people” Swift
she can take anything she wants from me, sugar
why is it so hot. why is it so hot. I am being punished.
I'm having my first 24/7 dom/sub relationship with the entirety of the fucking sun
this is from a "manipulation advice" video and it's just so fucking funny to me. why didn't I think of responding to insults like this
I can’t remember where I got the information now, but apparently if you stare silently for at least 4 seconds it triggers a feeling of rejection which I don’t have to tell you is uncomfortable and makes most people backpedal pretty quickly and awkwardly.
Immediately going concerned/extremely polite always throws people off their game, it's beautiful.
The Quiet Stare Of Disappointment is also super effective, indeed .
My sister and I were walking across a car park.
Random bloke: Maybe if you walked more you wouldn’t be so fat
My sister stops dead, stares him in the eye and goes: Is everything alright at home?
I’ve never seen a man’s face turn to horror so fast
We just walked to her car and drove off
The silent stare is so effective. I learned about it in social psychology in undergrad, and have often used it to great effect. Probably the best example is when I went to sign the papers on the car I was buying—I had already worked out a price and my trade-in with the salesmen the day before—and they decided they were going to take $1000 off the value of my trade-in. (I want to emphasize that I was buying a 10+ year old car; I ended up paying $8k total.)
"No," I said. "That doesn't work for me. If you're unwilling to honor the deal we made, I'm not buying a car from you."
Well, they talk for a living. So they talked. Here I am, a young woman on my own, and these two men at the dealership are giving me all the reasons they couldn't possibly honor the deal we made yesterday.
So I sat. I didn't say a word. I just stared at them.
They kept talking, trying to get a reaction out of me. After about 10 seconds, they abandoned all pretense of logical arguments and started hammering pathos. They weren't even buying my old car from me for the dealership; it was a personal favor for which they were using their own hard-earned money to help this poor guy at church who just got out of rehab and his house burned down and his children exploded and his dog left him for another man, etc etc
I didn't say a word. I just stared at them.
They began falling apart. They continued trying to hustle me, but their confidence left them. I think they might have been sweating.
Within five minutes they caved and signed the papers for our original deal.
I have been told for years I am intimidating, and by people who had never even seen me angry. Just in general, intimidating. This absolutely baffled me until a friend one day pointed at me and said — “This! Right now! You’re being intimidating!”
Friends, I was staring silently at someone while inwardly flailing desperately to come up with a response to something they’d said that wasn’t overly rude but also was holding my ground. In my mind, I was being hellishly awkward. I couldn’t summon any charm, I couldn’t figure out a sentence to string together. Silence spooled out horrifyingly between us as I got farther and farther away from being articulate and became more and more flustered by this failure to respond. From the outside, I guess, I just looked like a stone cold bitch waiting for them to get their shit together, lol.
I still don’t think I’m intimidating but you know I’ll take it.

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Who would win a fight to the death?
Perry the Platypus and Dr Doofenshmirtz
Stan twins
Sometimes knowing spoilers for shows is more fun cause u get to spend the show being like how the fuck does that even end up happening ..
the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be a part of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.
This is the best ad for Project Hail Mary I have ever seen. Like if I was on the fence about watching or reading it, this would convince me to do so.
used to live in a college town that was huge on sports. 80% of small talk was sportsball and so i developed an Evil Habit: whenever the conversation inevitably turned to the upcoming Big Game i would act excited and then confused. I would earnestly insist they had the details wrong. "the game next Saturday? don't you mean the Thursday after? playing against the [predator species]? no we're playing against the [other predator species]." And so on. i would draw this argument out for as long as feasibly possible, until eventually someone would pull out their phone to prove to me my wrongness. At which point I would squint exaggerated at the screen, slap my forehead in an eureka moment, and exclaim "oh you meant the MEN'S team!!! are they doing a game? that's nice."
oh good tags:
#i have the rare joy of living in an area where the college team people care most about is women #but that also makes interacting with anyone not from here on the subject feel very odd #like wdym you only watch the men’s version of the sport. wdym you treat that as the default?? we root for our girls here

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I ❤️ talking about myself in the second person. Why did you do that
gonna post a controversial take alright are y’all ready??
…
actually typing out emoticons like XD and :D and :V never should have gone out of fashion and you can pry them out of my cold dead hands okay I know emojis are fun but THEY DON’T CAPTURE THE EMOTION IN THE SAME WAY
so like
…yeah that was basically it, thanks for reading
also websites that automatically replace your typed out <3 and :D with emojis upon sending them are a Danger To Everything That’s Good In The World
bring back nose smilies :-)
There is no emoji that captures what I mean by :P (I do NOT mean “hur hur goofy-ass face!”) and the one for :^/ is not great. And lest we forget, 🤷🏻♀️ is absolutely inadequate compared to ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Faces no emoji has ever managed to capture, imo:
:P
^_^
:3
^u^
:/
O.o
0.0
>:/
<(^u^)>
I am too old to stop using XD
i have never yet found an emoji that fully captures the shifty energy of:
>_>
<_<
Oh man, I’ve missed O.o
Especially alternating to really capture how boggled you are.
O.o
o.O
O.o
Whatever the name of this team is, I am on it
this is awesome
._. is pretty good too and 😐 just ISN’T THE SAME
XD, ^-^, :3, <3, and =P until death
¬_¬ is the most eloquent keystroke combo
U_U is my fav, and also O_O
the SHEER MISCHIEF of OvO
me af
Some personal favorites of my own:
:3c
>:3c
OF7o
òwó
ú_ù
n_n
owo
oTL
=(Ô . Ô)=
Kaomoji (≧ᗜ≦)
>:3 Rawr
Personal faves:
TTwTT
83
8U
>8U
>8Oc
>////<
>////>
(-^_^-)
( 6w6;;;)
( > ^ <;;)
=(^w^)=
\o/
OTL
my favorite thing is that my phone has a built-in emoticon part so I can super easily just do
✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧
( ˘ ³˘)♥
( T_T)\(^-^ )
ʕ º ᴥ ºʔ
〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜
ʕノ•ᴥ•ʔノ ︵ ┻━┻
ಠ_ಠ
with just a quick little tap
you can pry good old fashioned emoticons from my cold, dead hands
(and even then it’s gonna be a struggle)
…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ