shadowypeachdreamlover

It’s windy, and the sun’s still up. Now if it rains without the sun being covered by clouds, legends say:

“It’s the fox bride's marriage“

“It’s the Wolves’ marriage”

“The heavens laugh upon the birth of an angel“

“The heavens cry for the passing of a pure soul“

“It’s the witch’s marriage“...

You may debate on which is more probable. It doesn't matter. however, which of these is true. The sun still is bright and the clouds will bring rain- nature will go on even if you don't believe in its tales.

(noun)

a slight feeling of pain.

a feeling of embarrassment.

Dictionaries will tell you as much that discomfort is just pain or embarrassment that you would experience. Yet, there are a whole world of meanings attached to discomfort that you will not be able to find in a dictionary- a thesaurus then would be more helpful.

Ache; Annoyance; displeasure; disquiet; hardship; soreness; trouble ; uneasiness; unpleasantness; discomfiture; displeasure; distress; hurt; inquietude; malaise; nuisance; upset; vexation.

So many words, each with their own set of meanings are now associated with discomfort. However, why am I bringing this up and how is it even important?

Animals are hard-wired to avoid discomfort actively. Humans, in particular, have become very adept in this skill, so much so that other members of the species try to hide their pain to not cause embarrassment or displeasure to others.

Talking about hardship, expressing distress and openly showing how hurt one is usually met with empty platitudes and, worst, naked disdain. This lack of understanding or unwillingness to acknowledge the real pain that another person could be facing causes mental distress and the feeling of being isolated.

I feel sorry for those who can not express their negative emotions: their sadness, anger, pain, hurt... for fear of causing discomfort to someone else. I am sorry that you have had to hide it all so that the people around feel at ease.

Sweetheart, baby, my dearest star- you can wear your heart on your sleeve when you are with me; I'll be there to share your pain and hardships. It will be okay, so you never have to hide it from me- I will be with you through it all.

Undoubtedly yours,

I would create tiny little pockets in my mind where I could see that you are no farther than mere steps from the reach of my arms.

I know, I know- I don’t dwell there, that would be foolish, but when Hypnos comes calling, there is a brief window between time itself, where I linger upon my tiny dimensions- that short while suspended between space, watching us live and thrive.

I have squirriled away each an every piece that you gave me to keep like a magpie, my love- for you are the brightest treasure in my hoard.

Be kind to yourself, my heart, and be happy. I love and cherish you. I wish to protect you because that’s what you do when you have given away your heart.

Devotedly yours,

However, there is a helpless quality that is attached with conflicts as one side is always pitted to lose. It is even worse if one is invested in the outcomes but is powerless to change the direction the conflict takes on.

Maybe it would get better with experience. Maybes one would become more apathetic and uninterested in conflicts as the time goes by.

I feel wretched as I see the adult scrambling to tear off pieces of my grandparents home. I feel enraged, helpless and dispirited, and I am glad that they aren’t alive anymore to watch the depravity and disrespect.

I also love my hometown- the greenery, the birdsongs, the spiders and the crisp air tainted with the smell of petrichor.

Nothing could ever make me more content and satisfied having both of these at the same time.

Yet, even as I am walking through the winding roads that lead to my ancestral home, hand in hand with my sister, I feel an ache settling in my heart. I miss someone so fiercely that it has taken over a physical sense , an leaves imprints that I carry on till I rejoin them.

Dear heart, wish you were here with me - I could show you my favorite spots and the spiders are friendly ( my sister disagrees).

I love you my light, my northern star, my doll. You make me feel so much more.

Yours always,

Like almost all individuals living on this planet, I, too, know to speak using the code of language. As a matter of fact, I have been privileged enough to learn to use several, and I could be called gifted in the usage of this particular code.

Lately, though, I have noticed that I am finding it rather challenging to use it. What I feel and what I want to express seems impossible to describe in the languages I know. Perhaps, I should endeavour to learn more- so that I can find an appropriate way to make up for my inadequacy.

My love, my star, my light. You have caused me to feel so much that I no longer know how to be eloquent. Bear with me, my heart, when I grasp for phrases to communicate with you properly.

I love you. Always.

Yours,

Did love change you ?

I would be slightly off balanced, because being in love is something very significant. I feel blessed being able to feel so, and it fills me with positivity everytime I acknowledge the fact.

However, being in love has not changed me in ways that could be considered significant to someone else- thank God for that, else I could be facing accusations of being in a toxic or manipulative relationship.

Yet, I find changes in the smallest things. I am kinder, happier, and a little more motivated everyday. Thinking of my lover, makes me wang to be a better person. I want them to be as proud of me as I am of them- and this very thought gives a rush of energy to me in order to refine myself.

Ultimately, there isn't much that changed - only my perspectives.

Thank you my heart😘, you make everything shine in sharp contrast.

Yours,

However, the person who did ask me the question was not satisfied with my interpretation of the word- the idea. They said to me then- ‘You have never been in love.’

This was incredibly puzzling, of course, since I do love it a lot. It is something I do without prejudice and something that comes as quickly to me as breathing. I love my parents, my pets, my cousins, my friends, my peers, the plants and animals around me, the earth that I walk upon, the all-encompassing sky, the moon, the very existence of the universe...each of these people or things prompt from me different ways that I can express my love for them.

Yet, I was told they felt sorry for me because I had never experienced romantic love. Again, I knew this wasn't true. I have had lovers aplenty, and I believe that we have had bonds that could be deemed romantic. When I did tell them that- all types of love could be romantic, after all the word itself is oft misused; they just shook their head and walked away.

By the end of the entire conversation, though, I felt pretty restless because I have a lover now. Someone who thinks deeply. Someone who I deem entirely precious and whom I love with the same intensity that I love the universe and everything else.

‘Is that enough ?’

Well, I have never thought of Love in such a profound manner. As it stands, it is easy for me to love, and when I do- I acknowledge the feeling, hold it close to my heart and live on with it. The question now is if he would find this particular trait of mine to be annoying? I love him just as much as any other- but the way he prompts me to express it is unique. I feel it with an intensity that can seldom be contained, and I feel like I am part of some particularly powerful narrative.

I have never had such thoughts before, ever - because love is simple. Yet, now I am slightly worried if the person who has increased my capacity to feel my passion for them could cause my own heart to implode if I could never express it to them sometime in the future. Perhaps my worries are unfounded; I know it with certainty that I am needlessly fretting about the unknown future- I am sure he will agree.

I love you, my star. I guess only you can entice my fleeting mind into thinking deeply.

Yours,

So...Though I can’t write a fic now...I sure can draw😍😍...

Yayay...PARK JIMIN....😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍