bet u regret adopting jace now huh
Jace:Â hello Maryse, Robert
Robert:
Maryse:
Jace: You might be wondering why I’m taped to the ceiling
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bet u regret adopting jace now huh
Jace:Â hello Maryse, Robert
Robert:
Maryse:
Jace: You might be wondering why I’m taped to the ceiling

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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another normal day at the institute
James and Will:Â *accidentally set kitchen on fire*
Will: We need an adult!!!!
James: Dad you are an adult-Â
Will: We need an adulter adult!! GET TESSA
malec to keep ME alive
Alec: magnus, this is my mom; mom this is my magnus
Alec, realizing what he just said: wait- i didn’t mean-Â
Magnus: hello, i’m HIS magnus
malec to keep u alive
Magnus: I want you to look me straight in the eyes-
Alec: You can’t have me look into those eyes and expect me to be straight
clace on a date
Clary: ...so what does the paper in your fortune cookie say?
Jace: *chewing on the whole cookie* the what in my what

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clary & max
clary would definitely dress max as a smurf for halloween yall cant change my mind on this.
SIZZY
Magnus: so, how was the honeymoon?
Simon: izzy got drunk and tried to set our marriage certificate on fireÂ
Simon: she said “good luck trying to return me without the receipt”
(ps: ik they have marriage runes and stuff but it seems so fitting for sizzy so bear with me)
heartstopper pt. 2
i cannot believe nick nelson had the audacity to tell charlie he looks cuddly, proceed to hug him for like 30 seconds in the most non-straight way i have ever seen, and then go “sEe yA mOnDaY” and basically run out the door. like bitch??? i have more social skills than that and i dont even like people.Â
heartstopper
Charlie: he’s definitely straight, i should give up on him
Nick: *crying over the 62% on his gay test*
m-a-l-e-c
Magnus: i’m going to start a to do list
Jace: good for you!
Magnus: and on the first place
Magnus: alec
Jace: *screams*

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parabatai pt. 7
Jace: My parabatai must be of utmost grace and have the best fighting skills-
Alec:Â *trips over a potted plant and apologizes to it*
Jace:
Jace: I want that one.
malec bcs i can
alec: hoe dont do it
alec: *falls in love with magnus*
alec: oH mY gOd
parabatai pt. 6
Alec: this is the worst thing you’ve ever done!
Jace: you say that so much its lost all meaning
❝A peaceful walk in the woods really relaxes me. The fact that I'm dragging a body should be irrelevant❞
–Emma Carstairs, probably
simon.
Simon: *stubs toe on chair*
Fandom: *breaks chair*
Fandom: *hacks chair into sawdust*
Fandom: *sets sawdust on fire*

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s i z z y
Alec: if you break my sister’s heart i’ll break ur neck
Simon: if i break izzy’s heart, SHE will break my neck and the rest of my bones
✨will herondale✨
*at Gabriel’s funeral*
Will: i will never forget the last words he told me before he fell and snapped his neck
Tessa: what were they?
Will: “stop shaking the ladder you idiot”