Serafine sings

Wheels upon wheels, eyes of flame, the roar of a thousand wingbeats: BE NOT-

Me: nope [closes door]

Bearer of the throne of heavenly God, through door: YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO-

Me: I don’t live here

Celestially Ordained Mover of the Unmoved: I CAN SEE YOU-

'…meet me in the moonfire gardens'

Jesus screamed “JESUS CHRIST YOU STABBED ME”.

Since that Jesus had to be taken down due to a bad case of stab-itis, the backup Jesus came in, but he weighed significantly less than the original Jesus- which would have been fine, except that at the end the cross was supposed to ascend upwards with Jesus on it, and the weights hadn’t been adjusted.

my first year doing this, our industry contacts were 1 actor, 1 casting director, and 1 producer to get different aspects of the business, and they all gave us amazing advice and told fantastic stories. the actor in question was Zazu on Broadway’s The Lion King for several years, and told the best story by far.

in The Lion King, there are only two pieces of pre-recorded noise in the whole show. one, when Pumbaa does a MASSIVE fart while fighting the hyenas, and the other being Mufasa saying REMEMBERRRRRR as Simba climbs Pride Rock. the actor told us while struggling not to laugh that, during one night’s performance, someone forgot to flip the tape of these pre-recorded noises.

so, at the end of the show, the great climax where Simba finally accepts his place in the Circle of Life, the heavens parted and-

PFFFFFFFFFRRRRRBTFTBTBFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

everyone froze. and then all ran off stage positively HOWLING with laughter.

Originally, the actors were going to stroll on stage with our Lefou hauling in the really neat (and real!) taxidermied deer head that we had found in a local thrift store. Now, two days before opening night, our director wants Lefou to run in from off stage and catch a stuffed duck that Gaston has just shot. This, of course, requires two things to work properly as a scene: a gunshot noise, and a stuffed duck.

The gunshot noise, we had covered. Blue-collar, redneck school? Guns a plenty to record. The stuffed duck? Harder than you might have thought to obtain.

Three hunting stores, two taxidermists, and one Pet Supply Store ™, I’d finally found a semi-realistic pheasant squeaky toy. What follows is an account of the ways this dog toy managed to be the nightmare prop of the six show run.

Opening Night: The stagehand, who was supposed to drop the bird from the ceiling catwalk, missed his cue and didn’t drop the it. Lefou’s actor rolls with it and does an excellent job of looking around foolishly before getting cuffed upside the head by Gaston. The stagehand then drops the bird squarely on Gaston’s head. Cue laughter.

Saturday Matinee: Different stagehand throws the bird instead of dropping it and beans Lefou directly in the face with the prop. Lefou falls over. Cue laughter.

Saturday Night: Bird is missing during curtain call. Director hauls the deer head down from it’s place on the tavern wall and tells Gaston and Lefou to revert to the old blocking i.e. no gunshot, no bird, just walk in with trophy. During Gaston and Lefou’s conversation, gun shot sound goes off and a stagehand throws the bird onto the stage…from the wrong side of the stage. Lefou and Gaston stare at it in awkward silence for a solid thirty seconds before Lefou makes off-script, subtle joke about Gaston’s gun going off late instead of early. Cue adults in the audience laughing.

Sunday Matinee: Director begs the stagehands to get the cue right at least once. Gunshot and bird prop go off without a hitch. Lefou accidentally catches the prop when it falls from the catwalk. He’s so startled that he caught it that Gaston runs right in to him. They drop both the gun and the bird props, and grab the wrong prop in their scramble. Gaston spends the rest of the scene gesturing dramatically with a stuffed pheasant, instead of a gun.

Sunday Night:  Director is fed up with bird prop, decides that Lefou should just carry bird prop in after gunshot happens off stage. Lefou accidentally squeezes the prop during the intro conversation, startling both actors into silence with the squeaky toy noise - apparently, neither of them realized it was a dog toy.

Now the first show went off without a hitch.

The second show, my friend was the stage hand that threw the baby on stage.

My friend was also the star quarterback for our football team.

Second show comes on, actors meet in the stage and wave, narrator says his line… And from right stage with the sound effect on cue this baby doll was fucking HURLED into the air about 10 fucking feet and dropped like a sack of wet rags down to the actors and the father actually CAUGHT it first try.

I just finished a music theatre prep program where our choir teacher was a head music director for a number of shows that ran in the toronto theatre district and one of the first shows he was involved with was the lion king

so the actors are in maybe their third week of previews, its a sunday afternoon show. They had a wooden puppet for the baby Simba that the actor could put their thumbs into the back of to move its little paws. they affectionately called the pupped “Stiffy”

on this specific day my choir teacher is doing his typical job when he hears a commotion backstage. He heads up to mainstage where the actors are coming off after finishing circle of life, the gorgeous, moving opening song that finishes with baby simba held high in the air while all the animals are cheering. the actors are fucking hysterical.

In this scene, Dom Juan sweet-talks his way through his creditor so he doesn’t have to pay him, and in order to do so, compliments him in lots of different ways, one of which is tossing away a wooden chair and replacing it by a big luxurious one. The actor goes and starts his talking, before giving a giant kick in the wooden chair, saying he won’t tolerate his creditor sitting such an unworthy seat…

Cue the flying chair backflipping several times, only to fall perfectly on its four legs, facing Dom Juan, as if to say “I’m here to stay, motherfucker” while everyone on-stage freezes and looks at the rebellious chair… And cue roaring laughter from the audience followed by thunderous applauses. Ten seconds of noise later the play resumes as if nothing had happened.

After the Throne Room, Rey and Ben pretend nothing happened. If only their dreams would leave them be.

All the things that never happened in the year between The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker. An interlude to my upcoming post-TRoS comic.

the duality of balance a reylo anthology

celebrating the release of star wars: the last jedi in december 2017

And they lived happily ever after.

My everlasting THANK YOU for supporting me, for all your warm comments, for being the best audience ever❤️❤️❤️

I'll try to put it all together for free download, I let you know where and when.

Part 22

Late Night Sketching:

And I’m on my knees and your faith

In shreds, it seems

In commemoration of the newly released images on EW, I thought I’d write my reasons for this ship, from a romance reader’s point of view. The contents of this post have been floating about in my mind for months, ever since I read this on Heroes and Heartbreakers and wondered where the DC equivalent was. Since I don’t write for Heroes and Heartbreakers or Smart Bitches Trashy Books, I am putting my analysis of Bruce and Diana’s relationship here, complete with GIFs and images that do not belong to me.

Specifically this, which was essentially the validation my childhood JLAU-watching days required post-New 52

1.  It’s Beauty and the Beast

Before you stop reading because we all know Bruce Wayne and Diana are both ridiculously attractive, let’s think about the classic aspects of this romance trope: there must be at least one character that believes him or herself utterly unworthy of the other’s love, because of their inherent brokenness and ugliness, whether internal or external. That is the short description of Bruce’s psyche, because he has an inability to trust even his longest allies (checking Dick Grayson’s alibi in The Court of Owls when he has known Dick forever being a key example of this character trait), is obsessive about his mission for justice to the point of unhealthiness, and is emotionally unavailable for the most part to all who know him. Courtney Milan’s Smite from her Turner series actually strongly reminds me of Bruce, in how he wants to remain scarred and alone despite the pain it causes him, because it aids his single-minded focus on justice. Thus Bruce is unlikely to want to save himself by allowing someone to come close even if he admits to himself that he is emotionally broken. Suffice to say he’s not going to confess that to anyone, not even Alfred.

Alfred is sad because Bruce will not tell him the truth

Enter Diana, who stands for openness, truth and compassion. Not counting the post-Azzarello incarnation, Diana grew up in a supportive environment as their ideal child. Diana is different from most other superheroes because she’s a person who hails from a perfect world that wants to come to an imperfect one to inspire others, because she feels compassion for its inhabitants. Diana never has had to hide anything about herself, which is why she experiences so much cognitive dissonance in our world and why it was brilliant in writing the Clark/Diana relationship (much as I hate it, I’ll give credit where it is due) to capitalise on this difference between her and Clark, who has to hide everything out of fear. Now Clark hid aspects of himself out of fear, but Bruce hides himself because on the surface he wants to preserve his effectiveness for his cause. On a deeper level he will not allow himself to experience the emotional wholeness a healthy relationship because of his fear of being vulnerable. The classic way he address Diana as ‘princess’ can be tied in here as evidence that he intentionally tries to create distance.

Will Diana be able to see the truth behind Bruce’s intentions? Will she be able to accept anything less than full openness? Will he want to be with her intensely enough to save himself? Will it jeopardise his effectiveness at all? My inner romance reader wants to know, even if purely from a characterisation point of view. At the very least we’ll get a will they/won’t they romance that is characterisation-driven.

2. They share values

I hear a lot of protests about how Diana and Bruce are too different for a romance to ever work, but they in fact share a lot of values, which I think can form the foundation for something that is lasting, merely because these core values will be the common ground they find in each other when their differences cause them to fight.

Obviously we all know how it is going down if they do indeed come to arms

Matt Wagner’s Trinity showcases the fact that Diana’s warrior spirit and upbringing drives her to strive to do better, something that she does not have in common with Clark, who’s more of a get-mission-done-as-soon-as-possible guy. Bruce obviously places a very high premium on constantly training and improving himself, being the embodiment of a self-made superhero.

Both of them have a very strong inclination to uphold justice, at all costs. Jokes aside that is precisely the trait that Greg Rucka explores in his Hiketeia story: the point is that neither will budge when they believe that their way is the right way. This can mean they will fight when they argue with each other on how to define what justice requires, but when they agree? They will be an amazing team. Bruce’s previous relationships rarely reach this common commitment; he in fact dates a lot of morally ambiguous women, apart from civilians. Those relationships make for great reading because of the will they/won’t they element but they are not going to last unless someone budges, and I think it’s just a teensy bit demeaning to require the woman to change.

3. They complement each other

Which brings me to my third point: Wonder Woman and Batman are a great team precisely because their strengths and weaknesses complement each other, and the fact that they are equals requires them to work together as opposed to just overruling the relevant member of their mythos that they are working with. Bruce has a lot of access to our human world; Diana has the monopoly (arguably shared with Aquaman) on the gods and their customs. It’s precisely this that makes writing a joint story so hard. But imagine how awesome a well-executed story arc will be when both elements are tied in!

Their personality traits correspond to this as well. Diana has been increasingly portrayed as a warrior type (probably because she needs to contrast with the comparatively more pacifist characterisation of Clark) but as Susan Eisenberg has pointed out, Diana can also be played where her compassion is the dominant trait. This means readers can be treated to good cop, bat bad cop routines when they require information if all of DC’s hackers go on a holiday. Alternatively it also makes their teamwork in solving a problem interesting to read/watch, because Diana will be inclined to see the good in people, while Bruce’s suspicious nature will cause him to assume the worst on the pretext of being thorough.

When it comes down to a fight, their modus operandi make them very difficult to beat. Batman is known for his preparation, while Wonder Woman’s reaction speeds surpass even Superman because of how she has been trained.

Though the transportation may potentially be a problem

4. They have common interests

If the above wasn’t enough impetus to ship them, the question of what they would do when on dates is often raised as if it is a criticism against the very premise of the ship. Again, Diana and Bruce are both highly driven individuals who are very focused on their mission and improving themselves. Is it any wonder they will fight crime together, train together and get very pleased over personal improvement?

Justice League bonding activities will be about comparing performance statistics. Hawkgirl and Superman wiped the board with their improvement today.

The training aspect has been covered in the comics. Bruce’s wide knowledge of various martial arts styles will fascinate Diana’s warrior instinct, while Diana’s ability to react quickly will titillate Bruce’s intellectual interest in sparring. The question they will have to answer whenever they train together is, can Bruce outthink Diana’s capacity to react to her circumstances? I can see them going over the details of the battle again to learn from each instance.

It has been said that Bruce’s appeal for Diana lies in the fact that he is the modern Odysseus. Given DC’s consistent line on her power levels I don’t think punching harder is necessarily going to impress her, but punching smarter is a good way of appealing to her mind - an important part of her warrior spirit.

5. Enemies to friends to lovers

There are sufficient differences on the surface and in working style, and similarities in core values between Bruce and Diana for them to be written as enemies upon first meeting, then reluctant allies, then finally good friends who would be lovers if not for the first reason in this list. Their relationship can be written dynamically, not necessarily developing linearly along these lines, while maintaining an epic romance that underlies it all, where they will always love each other to the very end. We can thank Joe Kelly’s JLA #90 and Wonder Woman: Blackest Night for showing what that can be like, and the humour in it all will be watching Bruce try to deny things (this happened in JLA #80 and in the JLAU) or their supporting casts either being meddlesome or completely oblivious.

Conclusion

We’ve seen quite a lot of other ships in their stories thus far but apart from the JLAU and that new picture from Batman v Superman, DC has yet to explore what would really happen if these two crazy kids get together. We’ve had a couple of years of Clark/Diana and Bruce being unable to sustain a relationship with anyone else. For a new phase in their character development, or even just for the upcoming film itself, what do you say to Diana and Bruce finally officially being a thing?

Why are people always drawing Luke as a skinny little fairy with no muscle mass and calling him a twink? Were they watching the movies with their eyes closed?