sentience was a mistake

listening to the mcelboys talking about how bad the advertising revenue is these days is making me more convinced than ever that they should let people do paid shoutouts in the money zone again

if they brought back the jumbotron for the people i would genuinely spend so much money on communicating the most unhinged life updates via the jumbotron to my older sister who got me into the mcelboys like “hey how’s it going? our brother found that old handheld Aladdin game we got at a garage sale as kids. He tried to “fix” it and now the volume is permanently stuck on full blast. As you know, it only plays that one 30 second 8-bit tune on a loop and the we’re all about to bury both him & the game in the family cemetery for this. hope you’re doing well!”

"how do you tell the difference between a whippet and an italian greyhound" simple. look at it head on. if it looks like a dog it's a whippet. if it's making a face like you've just threatened it with a firearm, it's an iggy

i can easily tell the difference between a whippet and a cermet thanks

the funniest part of this post to me is that the reblog:like ratio is nearly 1:1. nobody’s just liking everyone who sees this video goes yeah i gotta inflict it on as many people as possible

Now that all 3 McElroy brothers have had vasectomies, I realized every episode of MBMBAM is now me listening to my Three Wise Eunuch Advisors

i'm bisexual because i'm attracted to both flesh and machinery

im bisexual because im attracted to both the divine and the mundane

im bisexual because im attracted to both the ordinary being and the monstrous creature

love the word “rapscallion”. like not only are you a rascal but you’re also kind of spring onion about it too

that post that says “the nonbinary slay here was insane” has ruined my life cause I keep saying it about real life people who (to my knowledge) are cis. actually this is fine I’ve decided. it’s not my fault, if there’s a nonbinary slay I have to let the people know.