i'm a ghost!

Growing Up

Ah yes, a sense of smell, a thing we all definitely have…

I fully just accepted that everyone was exaggerating about being able to smell things. Entirely convinced we were all just in on the same lie. Haha, right, sure, you “smelled” that. 

In my defense, I also thought everyone was already exaggerating about things like “having a gender identity that aligns with their assigned sex,” “getting crushes,” “mentally picturing things,” “not being in pain after standing too long,” or “liking meatloaf” (turns out I’m transgender, arospec, and have aphantasia and high arches. There’s no reason for the meatloaf one, I just hated it so much that I genuinely thought people were lying about liking it). Adding “being able to smell things” to the list of things that we’re all pretending to do/be/have wasn’t too big of a leap in logic for me.

“Wait, you guys are actually smelling things?”

Eventually it became apparent that other people genuinely were smelling the things they said they were smelling, and that I was the odd one out. Some of the things that tipped me off were when my family was able to tell our dog had pooped somewhere in the house, that something in the oven was burning, or that someone had silently farted, which all seemed like some sort of witchcraft to me. I don’t remember the exact conversation I had with my parents about it, but I do remember finding out they had already been fighting an uphill battle against my body odor for me for my whole life ^^’

Safety Concerns

Gas leaks

Typically, oderants are added to natural gas lines, so if there is a leak, then people will be able to smell it and evacuate the area. This is, obviously, useless if you don’t have a sense of smell. There are gas detectors that function like smoke detectors, but they are less widespread, and generally, unless I have been explicitly told otherwise, I assume any given building has none. Being alone in a building can be a bit nerve-racking.

Kitchen Mishaps

Being able to smell what you’re cooking is pretty handy when it comes to not burning dinner. My smoke detectors, for example, will trigger if there is actually a fire, but food can start letting off smoke well before that point, which I don’t always notice. Some recipes will specifically say to “do [x] until it gives off a(n) [adjective] odor,” which is basically useless. Additionally, because of the impact smell has on taste, it’s entirely possible for me to make a dish that I think tastes fine, and everyone else thinks tastes terrible.

Spoiled Food

There are some foods, such as milk, that develop bad odors when they start to spoil. Unless the flavor, texture, or appearance also clearly changes, there is a very real possibility that I will not notice and eat it anyways. If something is suspect, then I usually have to get someone else to check if it’s still good or not. If there’s nobody there to check for me, then I have to toss it, or risk food poisoning. I have accidentally eaten a lot of spoiled food before learning this lesson.

Hygiene Concerns

"Do I smell okay?"

I cannot smell my own body odor. As a kid, this meant skipping showers and not doing anything about my bad breath. Now that I know other people actually can smell me, it means I have to do my best to maintain an undetectable standard with no idea how well I’m doing, or risk social isolation. As a result I often have to ask people I trust if I smell okay. Most people will default to the polite answer, which is nice, but if I’m asking it is because I genuinely cannot tell and need to know if I have to go shower.

Overcompensating

I know there are some garments that can be worn multiple times between washes without starting to stink too bad, but since I can’t tell, I assume everything I wear becomes stinky after being worn once. As a result, my options are either ‘do laundry more often’ or ‘own more clothes’ in order to not run out of clean things to wear, each option coming with its own drawbacks. 

Common Questions

Flavor versus Taste

Scent plays a huge role in the flavor of food, so sometimes people will ask if I’m able to taste what I’m eating. The answer is... kinda? Flavor IS heavily reliant on scent, but the taste buds on the tongue can detect sweetness, sourness, saltiness, bitterness, and savoriness with no smelling needed. So, I can tell if something is sweet, or sour, or savory, etc, but I can’t really differentiate similar-tasting things—plain chocolate ice cream is more or less the same as plain vanilla ice cream. As a result, texture is a big part in what makes a food "distinct." (Fun fact, Ben Cohen of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream is anosmic, which is why their ice creams are so full of mix-ins!)

When do I tell people I can't smell?

Well, it’s not something I usually bring up in casual conversation with strangers. For new friends, I might bring it up in conversation if it's relevant to an anecdote I'm sharing or, more often, when they ask me to smell something and I have to explain that's not a thing I can do. However, if I'm going to be in close proximity with someone for a while, I usually have to bring it up sooner than I'd like. When I lived in campus housing, I’d usually let my new dormmate(s) know early on, because I needed them to tell me ASAP if there was a smell, either because I needed to clean something or because there was a leak in our building. That’s a lot of trust to put in a near-stranger.

"No, it's not COVID-19 related"

When I do mention that I don’t have a sense of smell to someone that didn’t already know, I usually have to clarify right away that it’s not because of COVID-19, because that’s become most people’s first reaction. I don’t really blame them, and it’s nice that more people are aware that smell disabilities are A Thing, but it’s not fun that most people first associate anosmia with the pandemic.

"What do you mean [thing] has a smell??"

Logically, I understand most, if not all, things have a smell. However, I am still regularly caught off guard when someone says “it smells like [thing].” Like, what do you mean, a “cucumber” smell?? A cucumber is like 99% water. What next, water has a smell???? And you expect me to believe this isn’t all some big scam?? …I mean, I do still ask my family to describe scents for me. Mostly because it's funny to watch them try to come up with comparisons that don't rely on other scents or flavors.

(Hyposmia-specific) Once in a Blue Moon...

VERY occasionally, for seemingly no rhyme or reason, I am able to actually smell something. I'm sure I'd be able to find a common thread if I really tried, but it happens rarely enough that I haven't bothered to.

Anyways. When I can smell something, it is basically guaranteed to be an unpleasant experience. I have had to leave rooms before because a sudden scent (which didn't bother anyone else) overwhelmed me to the point that it felt painful. I've yet to experience a "good" scent.