I'm probably crying

there's a stage in sandwich consumption where it's falling to pieces & you're desperately cupping it in your hands & it's like this poor wounded animal that is covered in mustard & wants to die

here in my kitchen just bought this uh new grass fed non homogenized organic milk here

ok but why is there a man being held at gun point

here in my living room, i got this uh, hostage situation here

47 bullets in my gun account

the concept of "getting the ick" is so innately seinfeldian that it's crazy that it was coined in the 2020s and not on a season 6 episode of seinfeld where elaine gets the ick from a guy she's dating who makes too big a deal out of celebrating his birthday

my favorite greentext is the “everything in this world is part of my game” one hold on i’ll find it

they greebled him

I just can't control donkey kong the way I used to. I press every button on the controller but no matter what he just stands there looking at his phone

Laptops are always so much more Fucked than phones in my experience. A laptop is like a beautiful horse that wants nothing more than to break all of its legs. A decently solid android phone will act normal

A laptop is a living creature. It has weight to it. A laptop breathes and produces body heat. And it wants to die badly. Mobile phones are not sentient like that & that's why they don't experience mental illness. A phone problem is like "out of storage :(" or "charging port broke". Laptops will cough weakly as they fade in and out of consciousness

You will hold a laptop in your arms and it's like "I can't feel my legs". And you tell it girl you never had any

NOT being a good girl today. barking and ripping things up and just freaking it

microdosing vitamins

My soul is cleansed

haha just like cat