āa/n: NOT PROOF READ BC I NEEDED TO POST IT AND ALSO BC IT MIGHT BE KINDA BAD? IM SO OUT OF PRACTICE AAA. this got way longer than i intended,,, i hope u enjoy and sorry about the wait!
ā°warnings: hurt/comfort?
ā: honestly after reading your jealousy post, it just makes me so sad for Solomon!! he was my first choice, the reason I started playing Obey Me, no matter what, he was always my first choice (sorry Mammon! Still love you too!). And that way you said he āsomehowā got you from the demon rulers and he mentions this in game too, really hits homeā¦ I just want something with Solomon knowing he was always my one and only <3 That my eyes have always been on him and no one else!!
Solomon cannot picture a life settled down ā and yet itās right in front of him. Heās always had to fight for affection, to second guess every intimate relationship, and almost always distances himself. Yet, somehow this time it found him. For so many years he has avoided any close connections with other humans, knowing that he will ultimately have to move on without them. If anything, it makes him feel inhuman, but you choose to be with him anyways, hell, even fight to make him accept your love and itās indescribable and he is terrified.
Suddenly, the collected, highly reversed and witty sorcerer is tripping over his own words and even his feet, this time not knowing how to escape or avoid intimacy with a clever quip. Heās always been one step ahead of everyone else, but now heās running to catch up with you, and he canāt quite keep up because he swears that every time you look back at him his heart skips a beat. But youāre always just a little too far ā he finally has you all to himself, and now he can hardly keep up with the emotional demand of holding the almighty title of boyfriend to the charming exchange student, the devildomās own ray of sunshine.Ā How long before you realize you donāt actually like him, that you donāt deserve him, that you were only ever attracted to him because you had humanity in common? Heās behind on the times anyways, itās not like you have much to relate to, given that your parts of the world and the times youāve spent in your realm are drastically different. Is all that you really have in common simply your anatomy?
Youāre surrounded by hoards of effortlessly charismatic and powerful demons. Demons who flock to you, who argue over who will be your number one, or your protector, and they already have so much more to offer than him. No matter how hard he tries, Solomon is only a pretender here. Everything he has achieved, he has spent centuries working for, disregarding relationships in the meantime to reach his ultimate goals. And yet, it comes only naturally to the bachelors vying for your affections. Youāve even got a fucking prince on your roster, and yet you choose the lousy human? Surely, it must be pity, or it must be a moment of weakness on your part.
Solomon is loud in his affections, but mysterious in his convictions. Heās mastered the art of deception over the years, and given what little time he has to spend with you while you tend to the demon brothersā every need as their new attendant, itās hardly a task to save face with you despite his inner turmoil. Heās fighting a losing battle, unsure of his two options, and feels like heās going to tear into half wondering if he should just let you fly free to be happier without his commitment, or to steal you away all for himself, to run away with you and eliminate all other competition by being selfish with your love.
And so he sits idly in the empty Cocytus Hall, tapping against a cold cup of tea with an absent mind in a desperate attempt to numb himself. Each rapping of his sore fingertips against the ceramic leaves a hollow rattling that echoes down the hall, at first causing his ears to ring, but now only leaving him feeling sedated. Heās in a trance, lost in thought (or lack thereof, for the first time in his many years), and is unphased by the sound of your arrival matching his subconscious tapping. Solomon only comes to when you take a seat across from him, the scratching of the wooden chair against the stone floor interrupting his monotony. He offers you a smile, ingenuine but kind nonetheless.
āHow was your day?ā he mumbles, eyes still fixated on the obscured window beside him, beams of moonlight peaking through the shades and illuminating the otherwise dim environment. You often wonder how Solomonās expressions reminded you so vibrantly of the moon, his dark eyes always lighting up at the sight of you ā but now they wonāt even meet your own, looking more empty and dazed than anything else.Ā
You gaze down at your hands, disheartened. The days were long and tiring, and the brothers demanded so much of you on a daily basis ā not to mention, they were constantly vying for your attention, filling you with guilt for neglecting Solomon in favor of some not so subtly crushing demons. It gave you at least a small joy to return to your shared space in the late evenings, being able to release the stress of the day and let Solomon take it on in your stead.Ā
āIt was alright,ā you sigh, āno different from usual. I missed you, though. A lot more than usual. Iām just so tiredā. You rub your temple with the palm of your hand, attempting to obscure Solomonās seemingly careless figure from your sight for just a moment, afraid of whatever potential bad news he has to spill. With you gone so long, for so many hours of the day on top of the stress of being in a different timeline ā no, itās too hard to think about.
āMhmmā¦ that sounds very tiringā without truly acknowledging what you had said, Solomon keeps his unfocused gaze fixed on the drapes, showing no reaction despite his typical charisma. You huff, not being used to having to redirect his attention to you, slightly upset that he doesnāt bother to slip an āI missed you tooā, or even process that you had been speaking to him. āSolomon, are you okay?ā. Gently, you set his ice cold tea cup down and tap his hand, finally stirring a response from the desolate sorcerer.
āYeah, yeahā¦ ām just watching these uh, birdsā. You sigh, feeling your stomach churn a little. What the hell is going on with him? Heās always so forward, so open and honest, and it breaks your heart to see him clearly lost in thought, hiding something from you. You prepare yourself for the worst, but press further. āSolomon ā you do realize the curtains are closed, right? Youāve been staring at them this whole entire timeā. Unable to deny his avoidance any longer, Solomonās trance is broken, but once he catches your saddened expression he canāt bear to look at you, so he picks back up the tea cup. An unusual behavior for the man who exudes confidence and charisma, you feel a lump begin to grow in your throat, making every nervous swallow pang with a throb.
āOhā. Solomon appears nervous, for perhaps one of the first times in his life, at least that youāve been able to witness in your time together. He knows heās caught, that he canāt hide anything from you. No, not when youāre as kind and attentive as you are. Itās selfish of him to inadvertently demand your attention and concern in his delusions, especially when youāve had such a long day of tending to the house of lamentationās business, and he curses himself for not simply guising his feelings like he typically would. God, itās just so hard around you to save face the way he usually would, though. You care for him so intimately and make him feel so safe and seen ā itās a mission to be able to lie to you.
āI guess Iāve been a little preoccupied, then. My apologies, y/n.ā. He chuckles, low and short lived, the weight of his confession heavy on his chest as he anticipates how to approach the conversation he knows is inevitable. āIāve been lost in thought. Perhaps about youā.
Confirming your assumptions, at least partially, you feel yourself break into an anxious cold sweat, feeling a chill take you over in the freezing Cocytus Hall. āI seeā¦ā you gulp, suddenly wanting to save yourself some pain and abandon the conversation entirely before Solomon can affirm your worst fears. āWell, what is it about me? You seemā¦ unwell over itā.
Solomonās breath hitches, and he is for the first time in his life speechless. How is he supposed to continue, to just casually drop that youāre better off without him? āYou know dear, Iāve been thinkingā¦ maybe even for a while now. I donāt know if this is whatās best for you. I donāt want to hold you back, especially when you have such an important goal here. What matters most is that youāre able to reform your pacts, and I donāt want your commitment to me to hold you backā.
Before he can continue, you begin to choke up a little. So itās true, then. Solomon is breaking up with you. You know he has more to say and you want to be able to be mature about this and hear him out in his entirety, but your body convulses with the power of your first few sobs. āIs that really it, then? Are youā¦ breaking up with me?āĀ
Solomon wants to reach out for you so badly, to take you into his embrace and console you and give you the world for having ever upset you, but he restrains himself in spite of his heart. His head should know better, and should know that he needs to start distancing himself from you if you are to truly be happy. But first, he needs a complete answer ā āNot quite, but I justāā
āWhat did I do wrong?ā you question, unable to keep from interrupting in your despair. āDid I.. did I do something? Is it because Iām gone so often, because I donāt want to beā¦ itās been a dream to be able to spend this time here alone with youā¦ I didnāt want for any of this, but I was just glad I got you out of it! So pleaseā¦ what did I do wrong, Solomon? I thought we were happyā.
Solomon feels tears prick the corners of his own eyes as you plead with him, suddenly feeling the spark reignite in his chest when you exclaim your joy to have been with him. āNo, no! Itās nothing youāve done, pleaseā¦ youāve been perfect in every possible definition of the word. Iāmā¦ I just āā Solomon sighs, seeing the words in his mindās eye but not sure of how to punctuate them, but knowing he must do it soon for fear of your emotions spiraling.Ā
āYouāre better off without me ā I mean that. You can be happier without being tied down with me. I have too much going on, you have important duties and God, look at you. Youāre gorgeous, y/nā¦ you have high ranking demons going at each otherās necks trying to be your number one, people who could give you the world and then even more desperate to be with you. And you have them here, and at homeā¦ in our own timeline. I could spend tenfold more lifetimes working towards my goals and I still wouldnāt have nearly as much to give you, even if I gave you my everything. Youāre too kind for me; Iāve been so selfish with your love, but I just want you to be happyā¦ thatās all I want. You donāt have to lie to yourself or burden yourself with me. I mean thatā.
Youāre completely stunned by Solomonās words, so much so that you canāt even cry anymore. Of all the things that you imagined him saying, you never had this cross your mind. Solomon is always one to carry himself with refinement and grace, and a gentleman-like attitude that plays off of his mischief to balance him out into one composed and revered figure. But here he is before you, moonlit eyes glistening as he spills his heart out to you, his insecurities that you never even *knew he had*. For so long, heās been harboring these feelings of inferiority, letting him eat at him to the point of trying to let you go after spending so long chasing after you.Ā
āSolomon, what ā what are you talking about?ā You look at him with a look of puzzlement, cheeks still wet with tears and mouth slightly agape in pure surprise. āBurdenā¦? Is that how you see our relationship? With how long Iāve waited to be with youā¦ I canāt believe this. Oh God, did I make you feel this way? Solomon, please ā I donāt know what youāre talking about! You have so much to offer, youāve given me so much just with your company alone. This all fucking sucks, but Iām at least glad I finally got some one on one time with you out of it, pleaseā¦ I canāt do this without you. Youāre the only reason Iāve gotten this far to begin with!ā
Youāre nearly out of breath, nearly even shouting, emotions taking over your better judgment of words flowing out of your mouth uncontrollably like a fountain of truth. Solomon is bewildered by what you have to say ā had you really wanted him, too? Even before Nightbringer brought you hereā¦?
āWhyā¦ me? Why do you choose me, in both our true time and now? I thought surely, you must be attracted to me because of circumstance, but are you telling me you chose me back then, too? Out of everyone you could possibly have to choose from, who would eagerly accept you, you wait to be with me?ā
āYes!ā, you exclaim, standing up from your chair abruptly and leaning over the table to get closer to your boyfriend, taking his hands into your own and your presence forcing him to finally look you in the eye. āYes, Solomon, I choose you, always, God! Youāve always been my first choice, hell, my only choice, since the moment I met you. Circumstance only made the feelings unbearable and more convenient, butā¦ Iāve wanted you for so much longer than nowā. Youāre almost panting, now, exasperated from the intensity of your reaction, fueled by your love and admiration for the man in front of you, and the sadness that heās been burdened by feeling unworthy of you.
He looks at you wide-eyed, but it only takes a few moments for his lips to finally curl up in a devious smile that only a human such as him could wear so well. Without a moment to spare, Solomon finally lets his heart get the best of him, pulling you across the small table to take you into his arms, holding you with all the strength he had reserved for containing his feelings for you for so long, reveling in the comforting smell of you.
āWell, Iām sorry for being so low, thenā. Drawing back to take a look at you, Solomon wipes your remaining tears with his thumb, tucking locks of stray hairs behind your ears to take you in better. āI choose you, too. In the past, present, and futureā.
