My favorite parts of the Iliad now that Iβve finished it for the first time:
Odysseus running around beating people with a scepter (and the amount of joy he got from it)
Agamemnon prematurely mourning Menelaus, who is standing right next to him.
Zeus telling Ares he hates him the most of all his children. God damn. He really did just say that to his face didnβt he.
Diomedes being a force of nature on the battlefield
Diomedes being a force of nature on the battlefield and everyone still treating him like heβs their annoying little brother who they unfortunately sometimes have to kind of listen to.
βWhat are you talking about?β I laughed out loud multiple times because of this line. I donβt know what it is, but every single time itβs said I just imagine the most baffled/annoyed expression and tone of voice on whoever was saying it and I just. Lose it every time.
Helen being extremely passive aggressive the entire time sheβs on the page. Seriously love her.
Helen believing her brothers didnβt come to war because they were ashamed of her, not knowing they have been dead for some time. It hurts and I love it.
Odysseus and Diomedes being sent on a spy mission and deciding that, after getting information from the Trojan spy, they are going to go to their camp and steal some horses. (And a chariot. And some armor, I think???) Utter chaos. They did not have to do this. This was A Choice.
Them coming back after stealing said horses and NOT A SINGLE PERSON QUESTIONS IT. IMPLYING THIS IS A NORMAL THING FOR THEM. AND THEY JUST,,,,,REGULARLY DO SHIT LIKE THIS.
The Trojans being annoyed with Paris
Nestor kicking Diomedes awake, who is, for some fucking reason, sleeping on the ground (?????)
Nestor going on long winded rants about His Day and his exploits. And everyone just kinda has to sit and listen to him talk.
Poseidon causing an earthquake so extreme Hades worried he was going to expose the underworld.
Artemis calling Apollo a baby for not wanting to fight Poseidon
Apollo ignoring her entirely. Peak sibling energy.
Achilles calling Patroclusβ ghost βtrue heart.β I know what you are.
Athena helping Diomedes in the funeral games.
Athena getting so mad Apollo made Diomedes drop his whip during said games she sabotaged Eumelus and made Diomedesβ horses run faster.
Antilochus threatening his horses into running faster.
Odysseus and Ajax wrestling and being so evenly matched that everyone gets tired of watching.
When they get up for round three Achilles telling them to βput not eachother further to such cruel suffering.β
The idea that Achilles was so sick of watching them that he compares it to actively being in pain.
Odysseus praying to Athena for help when heβs loosing the footrace.
Athena actually helping him.
Athena sabotaging Ajax and making him slip and fall face first into dung.
Ajax saying Athena hovers over Odysseus like his mother. Everyone finds this hilarious. Odysseus does not disagree.
Diomedes continually aiming at Ajaxβs neck while fighting for a sword and armor. They are stopped by the rest of the Achaeans in fear for Ajaxβs safety.
Yea, Iβm convinced the Iliad is a comagedy. A comedic tragedy. A tragic comedy?
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